by PennLady
More on the interaction with Jason, a meeting with Dom's family?
Love the story, the writing, pacing and theme. Somewhere in the last third of this chapter when Dom admits the obvious to himself everything seems to suddenly just be fine...
You and MugsyB write great hockey stories but a lot of them aren't really over. It's usually a woman and a hockey star and how they have some issues and they deal with it.
None of them go to weddings and stuff.
It'd be nice if at least one of the stories did and maybe all the team mates be in attendance
All of them feel like hot romance not the sentimental type romance
Nothing wrong with that though.
Oh and PennLady Genie was your best story to date for me.
P.S - on second thought I think this would apply more to MugsyB
More please, as a sexy romance this story line has a huge amount of possibilities,
but didn't go to the finish. Did he open up and share everything? Did she reconcile with her brother? Did they get a new apartment together or move into one of theirs? What happened with Dee and her insecurities? The cousin made a cameo appearance then vanished.
Kind of like we didn't get all the way through the story.
My hat's off to you, PennLady. You write some of the most realistic, natural dialog on the site. I also appreciate the humanity and vulnerability you incorporate into your female characters. Complex beings, whose personalities seem authentic, and read as such. Quite the contrast the Cheating Wives portrayed by some of the male authors. Not necessarily the cuckold genre (WRETCH!), just average women who wanted a little something on the side. Some of those stories are quite painful to read, not only because of the hurtful nature of the acts--and those committing them--but the misogynistic undertone of more than a few. Not to mention the occasionally violent reaction of the offended husband, up to and including murder. In the case of Nuclear Option, by radk, mass murder. I would not recommend it for light reading.
So, thanks for writing here. You have equals in the form of Addicted2Writing (who writes in primarily the BDSM genre), and LoneGirl, whose Will Be Yours is turning out quite well.
I hope we can see more of your work here in the coming months.
loved the characters and the way the story developed....leopard skin briefs indeed...
It is especially refreshing to come across a hockey story written by a knowledable fan. You should you aren't a Canadian in disguise??? Well, I for one will conceder you an Honourary Canuck! This from a true Canuck and, incidently Canuch fan! I want to see more in this series (even after all this time).
The whole story plot was AMAZING. I'm an emotional person and I shed a few tears when I saw that Leilani and Dominic were having a fight. I find myself trying to continue the story and editing it, like maybe Dom didn't catch up to Lani. Lani drove away in a taxi and Dom wasn't able to catch up to her, and etc. I'd LOVE to hear a story on Karl and Deanne! Deanne is an amazing character, I loved her. And maybe more story lines on the other characters like Greg included? And more depth into Jason and Celia.. MORE PLEASE(:
A really fine bit of writing. The future is bright for Leilani and Dominic. I'm going to miss Cherie, though.
even when you do have a typo, because your stories are so good, believable, hot, brilliant, real.... You are professional grade!
Fantastic story line. Great writing, good humor, excellent drama. The only small crit. would be that you need a good proofreader. I tend to lose myself in a well written story hardly aware that I am seeing words on a page. I am lost in the action of the moment until I hit a "speed bump" of a misspelled word, an omitted word or an error in grammar such as a wrong pronoun, viz. "Dom reached her and put a hand on his arm".
Keep up the great work. I'm putting you on my FAVORITE AUTHOR list.
Thanks,
de Jay
Love the series - would love to see it continued! I would also really like to see a story delving more into Dee and Karl - make it happen please!!!
The story is fantastically written and the humor that runs throughout had me giggling and laughing out loud making it even more fun to read besides the wonderful building of the characters and their relationships. I just wish there was more, I was kinda sad when I finished the third chapter.
This story is great and I would love to see more of it. Please, please make a part 4. There is so much left unresolved. Would love to find out more about everyone in this story.
..........somehow feels incomplete....like the brother Jason issue....would like to see if they can manage to solve their issues...then maybe Dee and Karl could help Dee get rid of her problem with her family.....
...with everyone else...there needs to be more for Lani and Dom or Karl and Dee. And there might be...I haven't made it very far down your story list yet. Iwould especially liek to see if Lani and her brother can work things out...with Dom and Karl's help would be potentially funny and moving.
loved dom and lani and think that karl and dee deserve there own story, but i do not think the dom/lani is quite done and i cannot wait for its next chapter
cant wait to read more im really enjoying the hockey theme its hot!!would like to read more about dee and karl
You can't just end it... please don't end it! And I must know what happens with Dee and Karl! Ahhhh!!! LOVE IT!
Continue! Please! Either Dom and Lani or Karl and Dee, although I'd like to see Karl and Dee have their own story. And yes, Mugsy, you need to write more hockey stories, too. But I already said that. More, please, PennLady! More! ~From a diehard hockey fan (particularly the Red Wings)~
You really do love the romance, don't you? Nothing wrong with that, especially when you produce something like this. I loved it. If you choose to continue it, with Dom and Lani or Karl and Dee, I'm sure we'll all be even more impressed. Puck's in my zone though, eh? Does this mean it's my turn to write a hockey story now?
Oh, oh man, you're twisting my arm... ;)
Enjoying the way this is building and learning about the characters. Just read the last two chapters and I'm looking forward to the rest of it. Bonus points (if I could give them) for Dom's taste in music!
I love the plot and the characters. Overall, very well written.
great character development! A very well written story, looking forward to the next installment! Definitely one of the best.