All Comments on 'Nothing Matters: The Librarian'

Lacking, but a Commendable Effort

On one hand, I gotta commend you for trying to go with the Awatake theme. On the other hand, I think there's a lot that can be improved here. First of all, you didn't quite captured the mystical surrealism that permeates Awatake's settings. You made a solid effort to do this, and I commend you for it, but you didn't quite manage to capture the feeling of a setting that's very similar to the real world, but slightly distorted in a bizarre, but logically consistent way. You should have spent more effort to show how people think of certain things as completely normal or common knowledge, which would be completely abnormal to us. Also, the two old guys talking at length with clear memories of the "before times" kind of... didn't seem to fit? It would make more sense for those memories to be distorted, vague, and for people to not really want to talk about them. 5/5 for a decent job, but there's a lot of room of improvement.

I enjoyed this. Especially the first few pages. The latter part I thought was less succesful. But yes, great job. Nice world creation, and I liked your lead a lot. I'm unfamiliar with Awatake but I liked this a lot.