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"Next time it'll be easier!" She called over the roar of this wet world, then danced off across the lawn, all pains forgotten. You stood for awhile and watched her. Wondering what on earth she meant.
- COMMENTS
Emerson_Poe19667 days agoI have no idea what I was just reading. Read a little of the first part then jumped to the second part hoping it would improve, but it didn't. it was like reading an ultra-boring documentary, it doesn't work for erotica. There is a storyline, I think, but it is lost in a confusing read, there is no dialog to draw the read in, no real character description. The first two Anonymous comments sum it up. This could have probably been a good story from a different point of view but unfortunately, the POV used failed miserably.
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoThe first part had an actual story, at least for the first half of it. This has been lost to nothing more than a sex driven romp of self hate. Your accusatory narrative is off-putting. I’m not going any further with your writing. It’s not a good style for me.
Anonymousalmost 2 years agoPart 1 started off so well. What a great concept, and well executed. The storyline and second person pov has become confused and confusing. Too bad, but I won't try to finish.
Anonymousabout 2 years agoBoth parts are the best incest story I have ever read. Heck, even The Best story I have ever read. I really liked the way you brought both sides of the story together. Great Job!!!!!
