Nurse Nancy

She done the only thing she could think of to put him more at ease. She'd touched his arm and told him to go back to sleep. Nancy didn't know why she'd also told him she'd stay with him all night. The words just came out of her mouth without her thinking about saying them.

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That night was the only night Nancy worked Intensive Care, but for some reason she didn't quite understand, the next night she called the nurse's station in Intensive Care and asked about Officer Meadow's condition. The nurse on duty looked at his chart and then replied that he was doing better than expected and would probably be put in a regular room in a couple days.

Nancy called Intensive Care every night until she learned Terry had been moved to a private room. She then called the admissions desk to find out his room number, and once she had it, asked the head Obstretics nurse if she could be transferred to that ward. The Obstetrics ward didn't have many women delivering babies right then, so the head nurse said she'd see if she could arrange a trade. An hour later, she called Nancy and said she'd found a nurse on that floor who wanted some experience in Obstetrics and was willing to trade.

The next night Nancy walked into Terry's room, said "Hi, Officer Meadows", and then tucked him in for the night. She had other patients to look after, but since they were all asleep, that was mainly just taking their blood pressure and temperature if that's what their doctor had asked for. Most were just making uneventful recoveries from some surgery or illness, and she didn't get any calls from them. That let her spend almost all night in Terry's room.

The head nurse had questioned her about that after the first night, and Nancy had explained that since Terry couldn't see, he might not be able to find the call button if he needed something. The head nurse had smiled.

"Yeah...right. He doesn't seem to have a problem during the day, but according to the day nurses, he doesn't usually ask for help anyway. If you can keep up with your BP's and temps and meds, I'll handle any calls. If I start to get covered up, I'll come get you.

Nancy had been content to just sit in the chair in Terry's room except for taking blood pressures and temperatures. There was one patient who needed meds during the night, and Nancy took care of her, but other than that, she stayed in Terry's room.

That first night had been easy because she'd made her rounds with the head nurse so she could meet the patients and see what they might need during the night. She didn't get to Terry's room until almost nine-thirty, so she just said "Hi, Officer Meadows" and then tucked him in.

He'd asked if they'd met before, but she lied and said they hadn't. She'd lied because she didn't want to answer the question of why she was there. Nancy didn't want him to ask that question because she wasn't sure herself. Something in her mind just told her she should be there. She left for a few minutes to check the desk, and when she came back, he was asleep.

The second night, he asked her the question again, but in a different way.

"Nurse Wilkins, what's your first name?"

Nancy thought for a second. She hadn't told him her first name when he was in Intensive Care, so he wouldn't know she was the same nurse.

"It's Nancy."

Nancy wasn't prepared when Terry laughed.

"You're Nurse Nancy? I always figured there must have been a real one, but I never dreamed I'd ever meet her."

Nancy had heard this story before, but she asked him anyway just to be nice.

"What do you mean?"

Terry chuckled.

"My mother had this kid's book she got when she was about seven and when I was about that age she gave it to me to read. It was called "Nurse Nancy" and was about a little girl who wanted to be a nurse. Her older brother didn't have time for any of that until he fell down and skinned his knee. Then Nancy gets to be a real nurse and puts a Band-Aid on his knee. She said when she got the book it came with a real Band-Aid in it, but she used it somewhere.

"Did you have the same book and is that why you decided to become a nurse?"

"No, I know about the book, but I never had one. I decided to become a nurse because I had an aunt who was a nurse. She'd always tell me stories about how she helped people and I decided that's what I wanted to do too."

Nancy tried to change the subject then so he wouldn't ask her any more questions.

"Why did you decide to become a police officer?"

Terry smiled.

"Well, originally, I wanted to be a teacher, but I didn't have the money for college. I enlisted in the Navy because they'd pay for my tuition when I got out. I ended up going to school for the Shore Patrol after basic, and that's what I did until my enlistment ended.

"I found out that I liked being a military cop so when I got out, I applied for the police academy and got accepted. This was my third year as a police officer. Up until now, I've never regretted that decision."

"So now, you think you made the wrong decision?"

"No, not really. I'm just worried about my eye. I don't know how to do anything except be a cop. If I lose that...I don't know. Twenty-five is a little old to start over."

Nancy patted Terry's arm.

"No, it's not, but I don't think you have to worry about that. Doctor Bailey wrote on your chart that your eye is healing well."

The hand stroking Terry's arm made him feel a little better, and Nancy seemed to understand at least a little. He decided he should ask her the other question he'd been wondering about.

"There's something else...Doctor Madison said I had a lot of shot pellets in my face and I've seen first hand what shotgun pellets can do. You're a woman and, well, what I mean is, I know I was no movie star before, but do I look bad enough now that a woman wouldn't want to be around me? You can be straight with me. Like I said, I've seen what shotgun pellets can do and it can be pretty nasty."

Nancy chose her words carefully. She didn't want to make Terry feel worse than he already did, but he'd asked her to be truthful.

"Well, there are some places where you're probably going to have some scarring. That's just based on what I've seen in the past, but everybody's different. The rest of your face will probably just look like you have some leftover scars from acne. A good plastic surgeon will be able to make the scars less noticeable and might even be able to make them disappear."

Right after that, Nancy guided Terry to the bathroom, left him alone until he opened the door, and then helped him back to bed. As she tucked him in, she patted his arm and said, "If you wake up and need anything during the night I'll be right here. All you have to do is ask."

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Terry spent the next six days frustrated that he couldn't see. Several times he thought about just tearing off the bandage that had him blinded, but then reconsidered. He was a cop, not a doctor, and knew Doctor Bailey was doing what he thought was in Terry's best interests.

Terry spent the next six nights trying to figure out Nancy. He knew she did leave his room sometimes, but only for a few minutes. After that, he'd hear her come into his room, close the door, and then walk across the floor.

Why would she do that? The only reason he could figure was that the ward wasn't very busy and that Nancy felt sorry for him. That was something that grated on his ego. Never in his life had he ever wanted anyone to feel sorry for him. It wasn't who he was. He was a man who watched out for himself and accepted the consequences of his actions.

It was the sixth day after Doctor Bailey said he was going to keep him blind that the day nurse told him Doctor Bailey would be back the next morning to check on his eye. That made Terry happy. Maybe he could finally get out of this hospital bed and back to his apartment.

When Nancy came in that night, he told her. She said she'd already read his chart and hoped everything worked out like he wanted. It was then that Terry asked her why she'd stayed with him every night, but he did it in a roundabout way.

"I figure you'll be happy to be rid of me if it does. You've stayed here every night and you must be bored stiff doing that. When I leave, you'll get your life back again."

Nancy didn't say anything for almost a minute. She was trying to figure out how to tell Terry how she felt about him.

She was still thinking when she heard Terry ask if she was still there. Without thinking about what she was doing, Nancy picked up Terry's hand and squeezed it gently.

"Yes, I'm still here, and no, I won't be happy when you leave. I'll miss you when you're gone."

Terry chuckled.

"You'll miss me? Why? All I do is lay here and talk to you until you put me to bed, and I know I'm not that interesting."

Nancy squeezed Terry's hand again.

"Yes you are because..."

"Because why?"

"Because you're a cop and I used to be married to a cop, well, we weren't married but we were living together so it was like we were married."

"Used to be? What happened?"

Terry felt Nancy take away her hand, and then heard her blowing her nose. She sniffed twice more and then said, "Sam was killed about a year ago. He was going to arrest a robbery suspect, but the man shot and killed him before he could."

Terry nodded.

"Sam Coventry, right? I didn't know Sam, but I heard about it. I'm sorry. Does staying with me every night make you feel better?"

"You're a lot like Sam was, and staying with you is kind of like he was still here."

Terry frowned.

"So, I'm taking the place of your dead boyfriend? That's a first for me and I'm not sure I like it. I can tell you one thing though. If we were dating and you told me what you just did, we wouldn't be dating any longer. I guess it will be better when I leave. I won't be reminding you of him any more.

"You know what? You sound like a nice woman and you probably wouldn't have any problems finding a husband if that's what you want. If you keep hoping to find your boyfriend again, you won't though. No man is going to want to think you're deciding if he's right for you based on comparing him to another man."

Terry heard Nancy sniff again, and then say, "Well, I think I should leave now. I'll be at the desk, so if you need anything, press your call button."

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After Nancy had left, Terry felt like a jerk. What he'd told her was how he felt, but he'd done it in a pretty cruel manner. It probably was natural for her to see him as sort of like her dead boyfriend. All cops tended to be detail oriented and very analytical, and they didn't mince words when speaking. Those characteristics were what made them good at their jobs. Those same characteristics could also be a social handicap.

What he'd basically told Nancy was that he didn't want anything to do with her if she wasn't going to accept him as his own person. As he lay there trying to fall asleep, Terry knew that wasn't true. He'd grown to like Nancy and he knew he was going to miss her too. It was just nice to hear her say, "Hi Officer Meadows. How are we doing tonight?" When he went back to his apartment, the only thing that would greet him was his alarm clock every morning.

Terry decided he had to apologize and so he pressed his call button. A minute or so later, he heard his door open and than a strange voice saying, "What can I help you with, Officer Meadows?"

It wasn't Nancy.

"Uh...I just need to use the bathroom. I thought Nurse Wilkins would come help me".

The voice said, she's busy with another patient. I'm Nurse Collins, and I'll help you."

After she closed the door to the bathroom, Terry sat on the toilet for a few seconds, then flushed, and then took his time getting back to the door. Once Nurse Collins had helped him back into bed, she left.

Terry knew Nancy's rounds by then and he knew she wouldn't be busy with another patient. It had to be that she didn't want to talk to him and she'd asked the other nurse to answer his call. If that was the case, and he was sure it was, pressing his call button again wouldn't accomplish anything. He fell asleep trying to figure out how he could meet Nancy once he was released from the hospital so he could apologize then.

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Nancy was sitting at the desk when Sarah came back. She looked at Nancy and frowned.

"Girl, that man didn't fool me for a second. He didn't have to use the bathroom. The only reason he pressed his call button is because he wanted to talk to you. Why don't you step in there and let him say what he wanted to say?"

Nancy shook her head.

"I can't. I really screwed up, Sarah. I told him he reminded me of Sam and now he thinks that's why I stayed in his room every night. He said if we were dating and I told him that, he'd stop seeing me."

"Nancy, is that the real reason you stayed with him every night?"

Nancy put her face in her hands.

"I think it started out being that, but it isn't now. If I tell him that, he won't believe me."

Sara patted Nancy on the shoulder.

"Honey, if he really felt that way, he wouldn't have wanted to talk to you. I've been around enough men to know that he feels something for you. I don't know how strong that feeling is, but it's there. If you feel something for him, you need to tell him or you'll lose him."

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The next morning, Doctor Bailey shined his light into Terry's eye longer than he had the first time, then raised up and smiled.

"Officer Meadows, your cornea looks great. It's still healing so that eye will be a little blurry for a while and I'll want to see you in another week, but I don't see any need to keep you here any longer. I'll talk with Doctor Madison and we'll get you released.

"You'll need someone to pick you up. I don't want you driving yet. Do you have anyone you can call, maybe someone at the station?"

Terry said he didn't want to take an officer off the street just to take him home, so if they could call a cab, that would be fine. The day nurse said she'd take care of it. She then said the clothes he came in wearing were in pretty bad shape because they'd cut them off him in the ER, so she'd get him some scrubs.

Just before noon, Terry was dressed in green scrubs and sitting in a wheel chair with what was left of his uniform, equipment except for his sidearm, and badge and wallet in a paper sack on his lap. The day nurse pushed him from the room to the elevator and then to the first floor emergency room waiting area.

When she pushed him through the doors and onto the walk, Terry was expecting to see a cab waiting for him. Instead, he saw a woman with long, blonde hair and dressed in snug jeans and a green cotton shirt standing beside a sedan with the passenger door open. He looked up at the day nurse.

"I thought you were going to call me a cab".

She smiled.

"Well, somebody thinks you're a pretty special person and wanted to give you a ride home."

She wheeled him over to the sedan, said, "OK, Nancy, he's all yours."

Terry sat the bag of his belongings beside the wheel chair and then stood up.

"Nancy, my Nurse Nancy? Is it you?"

Nancy nodded.

Terry picked up his sack of stuff and then walked over to face her.

"Nancy, the way you left last night, I was sure I'd hurt you by what I said. That's why I pressed my call button. I wanted to apologize to you but the other nurse said you were busy. You weren't busy were you? You just didn't want to talk to me. What changed?"

Nancy looked down at the ground. Terry noticed she was wringing her hands.

"It did hurt, but not because of why you think. Once I got home, I realized you couldn't know why I left you alone, so it wasn't your fault. It was just me.

"I called the nurse's desk and asked if you were going to be released. When Mary said you were and she was going to call a cab to take you home, I said I'd do it. I thought maybe we could talk some more on the way."

Terry lifted Nancy's chin so he could look her in the face.

"So, what's the real reason you just walked out of my room without saying anything?"

Nancy frowned.

"Officer Meadows, I don't know if I can tell you all of it, not yet. I've been thinking all morning about what I was going to say, but I haven't figured it all out."

Terry smiled.

"Well, since you're my driver instead of my nurse and I'm not your patient, stop calling me Officer Meadows. That just puts distance between us. I'm Terry, not Officer Meadows or Officer Terry or anything except Terry. I'd like to call you Nancy if you think that would be OK."

Nancy nodded again, so Terry continued.

"Police officers hear and see thing things you can't even imagine, so nothing you can tell me is going to be worse than some of what I've heard."

Nancy said, "I can't tell you out here in public. Let's get in my car first."

When Nancy pulled away from the curb, Terry asked if she knew where he lived.

"It's kind of hard to find unless you know the area. You need to take a left on Appleton Road when we come to it and then --"

Nancy cut him off.

"I know where it is. I got the address off your chart one night. I drove past there on my way to the hospital."

"You got my address off my chart? Why?"

Nancy couldn't look at Terry. She just stared down the street.

"Well, I thought maybe...well, when I said you were a lot like Sam, I didn't mean I was looking for a man who was another Sam. What I was thinking about is how I felt when Sam and I were together. I felt safe with him because he was a detective and I liked taking care of him. I felt the same way when I was with you and I thought maybe when you got out of the hospital I'd come see you to make sure you were doing all right. That's why I wrote down your home address."

Terry shook his head.

"I haven't screwed up with a woman this bad since I was in high school. I didn't think before I said what I said so what you heard me say is that I'd never like any woman who compared me to her former boyfriend. I'm sorry, Nancy. If you'd just told me what you just did, I wouldn't have said what I did."

"I couldn't. A woman isn't suppose to tell a man she likes him, not until he says he likes her. If I had, you'd have thought worse about me than you did."

Terry reached over and touched Nancy's shoulder.

"Nancy, I wouldn't have thought anything except that you were being honest with me. I'd really like to talk this out. Tell you what. I'm ready for some real food, but I don't think I want to go out in public for a while. They didn't shave my face once they took off the bandages. That's good because the beard helps hide my injuries, but right now I look like a street bum and you'd be embarrassed to be seen with me.

"How about you take me home and I'll order us dinner and have it delivered? We can talk while we eat."

"I probably still won't be able to tell you all of it."

Terry smiled.

"That's OK. We'll talk about something else. What do you like to eat when you're having dinner with a cop?"

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They decided on a large pizza with everything. Before he called the pizza place, Terry checked his refrigerator, and then asked Nancy what she wanted to drink.

"I have half a case of beer, but no soft drinks, and I'd imagine my milk is probably well on it's way to becoming cottage cheese. The pizza place won't deliver wine, so you'd have to go get that yourself. I'll let you if you promise to come back."

Nancy said a Pepsi would be fine, so Terry called the pizza place and asked them to deliver a large pizza with everything and a two-liter of Pepsi. Then he told Nancy to make herself at home while he changed clothes.

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While Terry dressed, Nancy looked around Terry's living room. She wasn't surprised by the lack of anything other than the bare necessities because before she and Sam moved in together, his apartment had been the same. There was a couch and one chair, a coffee table, and a television on a cheap TV stand. The one window had a drape that was closed. She didn't see anything on the wall except for three picture frames all together. She walked over to see what they were.