Nurture Versus Masculine Nature

While I'm experiencing a brain freeze trying to put together the next chapter on "Stiff Dicks Hiding In Panties", the thought occurred to me that some authors write about a boi caught in panties where things go wrong and are forced into becoming a sissy.

While there may be instances where some tender sensitive young man is caught experimenting with the glorious realization that comes with the soft cradling of his privates in pretty panties and is taken advantage of by a real man, there are more gentle souls like me out there who come to terms with who they are.

Neither coercion, blackmail, nor threats of violence are necessary to those like us. Rather than be forced to our knees and having a cock shoved down our throats, me and those like me only required a gentle nudge.

You can no more make someone a sissy than you can turn lead into gold. I submit to you dear readers that sissies are born, not made.

We're naturally drawn to those feminine things like panties, lingerie, make-up.... you get the point. It is an innate desire to look pretty, to be attractive for both women and perhaps subconsciously, real men.

Take my case for example. I was lost, virtually at sea, filled with confusion about the longings and desires that filled my brain and gave me stiffy. It was my nature to be pleasing to those I cared about. That nature also extended to strangers. I simply wanted to please those in my orbit.

All my life I was a people watcher. I admired women, the way they walked, the way they attracted the attentions of men who found them desirable. I envied men, those I felt were real men. Robust, hearty, handsome, well-built with an air of confidence such as I could never muster a real man could turn my insides into jelly with a smile or merely just nod that I existed.

It didn't matter where I was; at the office, in a restaurant, and especially the beach. I studied those men, the way they filled the front of their trousers and my favorite, tight bathing suits. Strong sturdy legs, broad chests, well defined rippling abs, strong arms, and oh-so tight asses. I say tight asses with much respect.

I was so unlike those men. Timid from birth, my body was mis-matched for my gender. Small in stature, my narrow shoulders were in stark contrast with my wide hips, plump well-rounded buttocks supported by slender, shapely legs. My facial features were particularly androgynous; delicate even. Sky blue eyes, dimples on my rosy cheeks when I smiled with full luscious lips and a splash of freckles across my high cheek bones gave me a sort of Rebecca of Sunnybrook Farm look.

Unlike those real men whose bodies showed strength, their high level of testosterone was evident by their body hair. I was and remain, for all intent and purpose, hairless with the notable exceptions of my arching eyebrows, long eye lashes, and soft luxurious strawberry blonde hair on my head.

I knew from an early age that I was very different from those who were masculine and had an easy way around others like them and women. My explorations on the internet gave me an understanding that I was not the ideal male most women desired to be with.

Society's norms, pressure from my peers, and my mom's nagging me to give her grandchildren pushed me into the arms of a woman who loved me and understood me better than I did at that time.

After many failed attempts to satisfy her sexually or make a baby with her, my lovely wife began to spend more time out with her lady friends. That left me home alone to putter around the house doing chores like preparing meals and cleaning up afterwards, doing our laundry and folding the dried clothing.

I found myself looking longingly at my wife's panties, her hose, half-slips wondering how it would feel to slip into those pretty garments. I could never conjure up the nerve to do such a thing. But there seemed to be a magnetic force in her lingerie drawer that I would fight many battles with before everything changed.

Now this is where I am in conflict with those authors who say things go wrong. With me, all it took was gentle nudging, some soft seduction, and a man who understood me. It happened like this.

One evening after returning home from the office, I saw that we had company. There, on the couch sat a handsome man like those I described above. My wife sat across from him. They each had a glass of white wine and I felt that my entrance interrupted a private conversation in which they were engaged.

My wife, Cindy rose and stuttered, "johnnie, you're home a little early." After a quick kiss on my cheek, she led me over to Ralph. "Ralph, this is my dear sweet husband johnnie. johnnie, this is Ralph a friend from work."

Ralph stood and towered over me. He took my offered hand in his and pulled me to him in a bro-hug. "johnnie, my boy. Cindy has told me much about you. It's my pleasure to finally meet you."

My head was against his big chest. I felt his thigh on my dick, accidently and probably unnoticed by Ralph but I felt myself begin to stir down there, you know.

Ralph seemed in no hurry to break the bro-hug while telling me how happy he was to meet me.

Truthfully? I was in no hurry to leave his warm embrace either. It just felt nice. Different but nice.

Now at this point you might be thinking that he and my wife, um, you know. But that's not what happened. Cindy kissed me once I was free of my new friend's arms and told me she was headed out to be with her BFFs.

The door closed behind her, and just as I was thinking that this was going to be awkward, Ralph suggested he and I go out for dinner and a drink.

Glad to be out of my home where anything could have happened, Ralph was the gentleman. He let me choose the restaurant as he opened the car door for me. "I knew you'd have good taste, johnnie," he smiled sliding in behind the steering wheel. "Ruth Cris has excellent streaks." He grabbed my knee as he said that but only briefly before using the stick shift to put his classic 356 SC Porsche in reverse and backed out of our driveway.

Stopping at the corner stop sign, Ralph turned on his radio. "I hope you like classical music, johnnie."

Rachmaninoff's Second Piano Concerto came on. "Oh, Ralph, Rachmaninoff is one of my favorites. I'm particularly fond of this piece, his Second Piano...."

"Concerto," we said together at the same time. "It's mine too. Makes me a little horny if you don't mind my saying," Ralph grinned at me while blushing.

"I don't mind, Ralph," I smiled patting his thigh nonchalantly.

"How was dinner with Ralph?" My wife asked me much later that night.

"It was wonderful. I really like him."

"I thought you would, johnnie. After he dropped you off, he texted me that he really had a great time and asked me if I minded if he took you out again tomorrow night?"

"You mean like a date?" I asked a bit too excited. "I hardly know him."

"I know. I introduced him to you, remember? Anyway, he really thinks you're great and wants to hang out with you again. But hey, if you'd rather not, I'll tell him you're not interested."

"No, wait. I'm interested. I mean okay, yes, I'll hang with him tomorrow night."

I thought I was being clever. Ralph asking to see me again made my insides flutter. Guys like that never seemed to feel comfortable around me. And he was so nice and we shared a love of music and good food. "Tell him he should choose the restaurant this time."

The next day I puttered around the house doing this and that trying to keep busy so my excitement of the upcoming night doesn't get the best of me.

"I'll be home late, johnnie," my wife said heading out.

"Um, you're going out with your girlfriends dressed like that?" Her skirt was way short. Her blouse a little too transparent. Her heels a tad too high."

"You're sweet to notice, honey," she said and kissed me on my cheek and left.

I was rummaging through my clothes wondering what to wear. "I should have asked Cindy to ask Ralph where we were going so I could dress for the occasion," I thought as I selected my outfit.

"Fuck it," I said frustrated not being able to decide what to wear. "Oh yeah, you're something alright. He'll be here in 20 minutes and you are acting like a nervous school girl," I said aloud.

Finally, I gave up thinking about it and put on dark gray pants, a white shirt, a silk black and white tie, and herringbone light gray sports coat.

I brushed out my long hair and put a rubber band on it to hold the long ponytail in place. Not a second to quick either. Just as I finished, I heard a knock at the door.

"Hello, handsome," I said before thinking how gay that might sound.

Ralph paid my compliment no mind and took me in another of his warm embraces. This time he held me a little longer and ran his hand up and down my back.

"Mmmm, that's nice," I whispered as his hand pulled me in a little tighter.

When our embrace broke, Ralph took my hand and told me how nice I looked. "Here, let me," he said and licked his finger. "Cindy left a lipstick kiss on your cheek, johnnie," he said wiping it off. "Maybe I should have left it there."

Our eyes met as I looked up at him. My heart jumped and I blushed.

It never occurred to me that he was still holding my hand as he led me to his car. It just seemed natural. Once again, he opened the door for me and closed it after I was seated.

I reached over and opened his door from the inside. "Why thank you, baby," he smiled and rubbed my thigh.

"Rachmaninoff again?" I asked.

"Not tonight, johnnie." He selected a song from the Broadway play, "A Chorus Line". The first number was "I Hope I get It" I found myself singing along. "I knew you'd like this music, johnnie," Ralph said and gently squeezed my thigh.

"Oh God, I hope I get it," I sang placing my hand on his. "You will, baby," Ralph said.

He drove us to a beach front restaurant that was known for its Italian seafood dishes. It was semi crowded this night. We were met at the station and led to a table in the rear, away from the noisy tourists and their unruly children.

Ralph pulled out a chair and told me to take my seat. It felt only a little strange to be treated as kindly as my friend was treating me. But honestly, I thought it was nice.

"Where's Cindy tonight?"

"She's out with her friends as usual, Ralph. But tonight, they must be going someplace special."

"What makes you think that, baby?"

"Oh, well she was dressed to the nines. I thought her skirt was way too short. Her blouse was almost see-through. I mentioned it but my concern went over her head."

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, when I told her she was dressed a bit risqué, she thanked me, kissed my cheek and left."

We sat in silence as I thought about Cindy's reaction. "You know what I'm thinking, Ralph? I think she's having an affair."

My friend saw the worried look come over my face. He took my hand in his. "She loves you, johnnie. She tells me that all the time."

Ralph raised my hand to his lips and kissed it on the back side. "You can always come to me if you need to talk, baby."

He was so sweet. "Why are you so nice to me, Ralph?"

"I like you, johnnie. I really like you a lot."

Our eyes met and like before, my heart skipped a beat. I turned my hand which he was still holding and entwined my fingers in his. "I like you a lot, Ralph." Then I brought his hand to me and I kissed it.

"May I take you orders, gentlemen?" Our server arrived unnoticed by the two of us.

Dinner was quiet. I was left in thought about what my wife might be up to and my attraction to the handsome man I was with."

For his part, Ralph left me to ponder and I was thankful for him giving me the space to sort those perplexing issues.

We had a few drinks at the piano bar and called it a night. In silence Ralph drove me home. We sat quietly together in his Porsche. "Are you upset with me, johnnie?"

"Oh Ralph, I could never be upset with you. I'm just wondering what I'm going to find when I go inside."

"Want me to come in with you?"

"You're very sweet to offer, but no. I better face this alone."

Ralph got out of the car. I sat and watched him to my side. He opened the door and offered his hand. I took his hand and he helped me out. Walking me to our front door, I squeezed his hand. "Thank you for a wonderful evening, sir," I said smiling up at him.

He took me in that familiar embrace. By now, our hand holding and hugs were not only normal but expected. I put both my arms around his waist and planted my face against his broad chest. We held each other for the longest time and I found solace in his arms.

Steeping back out of my arms, Ralph kissed one of his fingers and brought it my lips. What I did came naturally. I took his hand and placed his finger on my pursed lips and held it there as our eyes met. I felt my dick growing hard and ended that shared moment quickly. "Good night, my friend," I managed to whisper.

"Can I see you again, johnnie?"

"I was hoping you'd ask. Yes. I enjoy our time together."

He gave my bottom a gentle squeeze as I turned to open the door. "Call me," I said over my shoulder.

I closed the door and leaned back against it and took a deep breath. I stayed against the heavy wooden door wondering why I was experiencing the strange feelings for Ralph that filled me with longing and gave me an erection.

I finally made my way to the bedroom. Cindy wasn't home yet. I undressed and climbed into bed. Thinking of Ralph and how kind he is, I took my dick in hand and stroked myself softly not wanting to climax too quickly. I thought how comforting it was in his strong arms. I remembered him kissing his finger and placing it on my lips. Oh how I wanted to suckle that finger.

I shivered at the thought of his finger in my mouth and the gentle way he squeezed my bottom. It was all so new, all so strange, and all so very exciting.

I fell asleep with my dick in my hand. I was awakened early by Cindy's arrival. I could tell she'd been drinking a little too much as she staggered a bit while undressing. As my eyes adjusted to the dim light filtering in from the hallway, I watched her remove her hose and blouse. She had her back to me when she stood and unzipped her too short skirt; letting it fall to the floor. I was surprised to see that she wasn't wearing panties.

She climbed in beside me. "You awake, johnnie?"

"I am now," I replied. "Have fun tonight?"

She giggled and moved so that her boobs were breast against my chest. "I'll say. We drank and danced and it was all so much fun."

"Uh huh. Did you lose your panties?"

She moved her face so she could look at me. "Don't be mad. Promise."

I promised I wouldn't lose my temper. "So, what happened to your underwear that you don't want me to be angry about?"

My wife giggled again, "They were taxi fare."

"Say what? Taxi fare? I don't understand. You took your car. I can see why you took a cab which was smart, but it cost you your panties?"

"That's what Jermaine said it would cost me for him to bring me home."

"In what world do you think it's appropriate for you, a married woman, to give her panties to some strange cab driver?"

"Oh, johnnie, Jermaine is no stranger. I met him several months ago. He's very nice."

"I suppose you're fucking him?"

The ensuing argument lasted for hours. In the end, Cindy convinced me that although this Jermaine character hasn't fucked her, it was not for a lack of trying.

"I swear, all we've done is dance together. We met him, the girls and I met he and some of his friends. They're such good dancers, johnnie. That's all I've done."

"Well not all," I added.

"Well, at least Jermaine is a man. You know what a man is; you're dating one," Cindy chided me.

The argument, if not the hurt feelings, was over, at least for the time being. How could I counter that?

Sunday was different. My wife was as preoccupied as I was. I was pretty sure her thoughts were of that Jermaine fellow. Mine were of Ralph and how I wish he was here with me to comfort my worries and soothe my fears. It dawned on me that in such a short period of time, that I was becoming dependent on his kindness and longed for his friendly touches and reassuring hand holding.

"So how was your date with Ralph?"

"Uh, it wasn't a date. Just two guys hanging out. It was nice."

"Well, I'm glad you have a friend, johnnie. He really likes you."

"Yes, I know. I like him too."

It was funny to me that after such a short time together, I missed my friend. I couldn't wait for him to call me.

My wife assured me that she would not give away her panties as she left for another night out with her friends. "I'm glad to hear that, Cin. Have a good time."

I was left alone that night with my thoughts always of Ralph. I wondered what he'd say about the way my wife was acting. I needed his wisdom, the comfort in one of his bro-hugs. As I was doing my dinner dishes, it occurred to me that Ralph and I were in a bromance. I'd heard the term on the TV but never gave it much thought. The hand holding, the hugs, the tender way he squeezed my bottom was to be expected. Even squeezing my rearend wasn't gay. Baseball players and coaches do that all the time.

I wanted him to call me. I wanted to tell my Ralph that I understand what we have and am more than comfortable in his arms and holding his hand.

"Bromance," I giggled suddenly feeling not so lonely. The thought came over to me that I should do something nice for my man-friend. But what? What is appropriate for a real man who seemingly has everything?

Cindy came home disheveled and tipsy. I watched her undress and was pleased when she unbuttoned and let her skirt fall that she still had her panties on. She had a wicked smiled as she traipsed over to me and pulled my face into her pussy. "See baby, I kept my panties just like you wanted me to."

I slid my hands under the thin fabric and held her nice ass. Planting kisses through the nylon, my wife wanted more. She stepped back and dropped er drawers. Splaying out on the bed, "Eat me, johnnie. Eat my pussy with your soft lips."

I needed no further encouragement. I licked and lapped at her folds before tongue fucking her. Cindy took my head in her hands and directed my efforts to her clit. I knew I was doing a good job when she took my face a roughly began humping.

I held on and kept tonguing her little button as she climaxed again and again. Furiously fucking my face, Cindy moaned and cursed, and although her thighs held my head tightly, I thought I heard her say something about Jermaine though I couldn't be certain.

"Enough, baby, enough," she sighed pushing me off her now glistening pussy.

"What a mouth on you, johnnie. You should share that with Ralph. I know he'd love it."

With that, she rolled over and began snoring. But it wasn't her snoring I was hearing. Her words, "Share my mouth with Ralph," kept playing over and over.

My dick twitched as I imagined myself with my friend. I could see his cock, or what I thought it might look like, and me looking my friend in his eyes as I pleasure him. No longer twitching, my dick was now rock hard. I masturbated achieving my orgasm quickly as usual.

Instead of feeling gratified, I felt shame for climaxing while seeing myself sucking that big cock.

That seemed to be a recurring theme as I dreamed of that scenario three consecutive nights and once even having a nocturnal emission.

Friday after work, I arrived home to see the now familiar 356 SC Porsche in our driveway. My heart fluttered knowing Ralph was inside waiting for me.

He and Cindy were in Deep conversation that they didn't notice me until I coughed. "johnnie, baby," Ralph smiled. Rising, he took me in his arms and held me there as Cindy sat nearby. I felt him take my bottom in his hands and held me close. "Pack a bag, sweetheart. you're coming with me this weekend."