Occultation

I didn't listen. I aimed the phone's speakers away from me and tried my best to ignore the visceral sounds of slaughter from the far side. I gave her a few minutes to pull herself together, then brought the handset back to my ear, grimacing in sympathy.

"Fee?"

"Still... alive..."

"Wow, you sound rough."

"Hugging the loo. You try to... uh... poised and together... while doing that."

"Are you ok, Fee?"

"No," she whispered, groaning softly. "No I'm not. Jamie... you're never to let me drink vodka again, ok? I'm banned from it. Ok?"

"Sure thing. I'll exile it from our homes."

"Good boy," she whispered.

I heard her gag and spit, and I winced again.

"Fuck. Ok. I... I think I'm ok now. Think that was all of it. God I hope that was all of it."

"It's been years since I last did that."

"Yeah. Think this is the last time... for a while."

"Have you let Kate know you're ok?" I asked, softly.

"No. Not yet."

"She was really worried about you."

"Was she pissed?"

"At first," I said, with a soft laugh. "She was speaking in tongues. I've never heard some of those words come out of her mouth."

"Oh, yeah, she was pissed then. Sorry, Jamie. Sorry for doing all this to you."

"I deserved most of it, Fee."

"No. You didn't. And it was massively unfair of me..."

"Shall we just start over from when we woke up next to one another? And pretend what's happened since is some sort of fever dream?"

"I'd... really like that," she whispered.

"Right. In that case, want some breakfast?"

She laughed softly. "Oh. Not right now, no. Right now I just want you to hold me close and let me bask in your warmth for a bit. I'll sun myself like a lizard against you."

"That sounds like a lovely way to start our Sunday."

"Yeah. It does," she agreed, sadly. "Sorry I was such an angry witch. I could have still been there with you if I hadn't been."

"Sorry I was such an idiot."

"I love that you're so oblivious. It's really endearing."

"Mm. Well, I love you in black lace."

"I'll be sure to wear that again, then."

I smiled, then stretched out on the couch.

"What are you up to today, Fee?"

"Resurrection. You?"

"Ditto. Might go for a walk up the mountain. Try and find where I left my lungs yesterday."

"What?"

"Oh. It's my coping mechanism. I run until I break so that I don't have to think. But yesterday I think I went a bit too far."

"Oh. Can I come with and help you look?"

"Sure. Hop on a plane, I'll meet you at the airport in three hours."

"It says a lot about how I feel about you that I'm giving serious thought to that idea," she said softly.

"You've travelled enough for my stupid arse. I'll come to you."

"When?"

"When will be good for you?"

"Yesterday," she sighed.

"Granted. Um... I can see about getting leave for the end of the month?"

"I'd... like that. Maybe... maybe we could go away somewhere. Together."

"You know what? That sounds like a dream holiday to me. I don't even care where we end up so long as I'm there with you."

"There are some thermal spring resorts dotted around here. Perhaps we could go to one of them?"

"If it means I get to see you in a swimsuit, I'm in."

"You perve," she laughed.

"Guilty as charged."

"Mm. I'll do some research and let you know what I find."

"We should see if we can find something with a fireplace. I'd love to curl up in front of one with you."

"Stop putting delicious ideas in my head, Jamie."

"Never," I said softly, and she laughed again.

.:.

We spoke every evening after work. I'd get home, eat something, and then wait for her to call me once she'd finished her commute back from gym. Her nightly "Go sleep, I love you" swiftly became the central pillar of my life. The days became a week, then two, and still I never quite lost the breathlessness I felt when I heard her gentle "Hello," every evening.

Soon we began phoning eachother in the mornings too, so that our voices would be the first thing we heard.

I put in my leave request, and bought my tickets for a week up north with her. I could hear how happy that made her - that I'd done something for once, instead of always leaving it to her. The flight number was a commitment that she'd never before had from me.

It shamed me how simple it had been to do, and how happy it had made her.

I promised myself that I'd never again let her do the heavy lifting for me.

But Felicity had other ideas, and had, as always, been plotting.

.:.

It was Thursday afternoon, cold but clear, and I was in an especially good mood after my evening run when she phoned.

"Hey, you," I said, as I answered her call. "You're early tonight. Had a good day?"

"Yeah. It was great. But I reckon tonight's going to be even better."

"Oh, really? Why? What are you up to? You didn't mention anything..."

"Well. I'm hopefully going to be having a rather nice dinner in a short while. But that kind of depends on you..."

"I don't understand."

"I may have done something... impetuous."

"I... still don't understand," I laughed.

"Are you busy right now?"

"Me? No. Of course not. Just... staring at a book, feeling somewhat at a loss... and thinking almost entirely about you. As always, just desperately wishing you were here with me."

"Really? So that would make you happy?"

"You know it would."

"So... how about you come and let me in?"

"You... wait... you're here? Really?"

"I'm parked outside, all alone, cold and abandoned. Alas, poor me. I'm wondering if there's possibly a guy anywhere in this town who'd give me somewhere warm to be..."

"Don't you dare go anywhere," I stammered. "I'll be right there."

I sprinted down the stairs to the basement. I ran round to the gates, saw her waiting, and tagged her in. She was still laughing at me as she parked up, hopped out of her rental car, and skipped around it and into my arms.

I picked her up and swung her around, and she took a deep, shuddering breath as she clawed her way in closer to me.

I held her for a long while, then set her gently down again.

"I couldn't wait," she whispered at last, as she clung to me. "I couldn't wait until you were going to be up with me. I had to come and see you."

"You're mad," I breathed into her neck, and she shuddered as I pulled her harder against me. "You must have paid a fortune for your tickets."

"I don't care. I just don't care. I needed to be here. I couldn't let another minute go by without being in your arms. I needed to be with you."

"Please understand, I'm not complaining. I'm... I don't have the words to say how happy I am that you're here."

"Good," she laughed softly. "You're learning. Come. It's freezing. I brought some supplies with me - help me unpack them. Then... then take me home."

"Now that's a phrase I could grow to love," I breathed.

"I know," she said, with a smile.

.:.

She leaned on the counter, watching me as I prepared our meal for us. Her champagne glass stood near at hand, refilled from the second of the bottles she'd provided us. Behind her flickered the virtual flames of a Youtube fireplace - a poor facsimile for the real thing, but enough to soften and light the interior of the flat in a manner approximating what we'd both decided we wanted for the night.

Every time I glanced up, or turned around, she was still watching me, eyes sparkling, lips curved into a self-satisfied smile.

"You're making me blush," I said, eventually.

"Why?"

"Nerves, I think."

"Nerves? Why on earth? "

"Because I'm an idiot," I muttered, sheepishly. "It feels like a first date, and I'm... scared of messing it up."

"It is a first date," she grinned. "Just an extremely extended one."

"One or two communication failures aside it's been..."

"Really... good," she said, completing my sentence for me.

"Think you'll go home with me afterwards?" I asked, grinning at her.

"Oh, I'm trying to make up my mind. You're cute. I might just," she said, amused.

I blushed hotter, and she covered her laugh with a sip of her bubbles.

"I'm sorry for wasting so much of your time, Fee."

She reached out and gently touched my hand with her fingers.

"Don't, Jamie. Don't apologise for what wasn't really your fault. We got there in the end. It... it was worth the wait for you. I'd... do it again if I had to."

"I'm never going to stop feeling stupid over it though."

"That you can deal with," she said. "Just not too much, and not too often. You're not a stupid man. Just... gentle and cautious. And... modern life makes it hard for thinkers like you and me. Our messages go astray. We know first-hand that it's easy to be hurt, and very hard to get over it and move on. So we try to move... gently. And that costs us, sometimes..."

"You always make so much sense. You've always been my voice of reason."

She flushed and glanced down.

"Ever seen a duck on the water?" she said, after a while.

"Um... is this innuendo?"

"No. It's waterfowl," she retorted, amused. "Think about it. A duck is calm. Serene even. But under the surface the legs are flailing about like crazy. That's... honestly, that's how I feel around you."

I laughed. "Well, in that case, what does that make me? I can think of several unflattering things..."

"You're... a haven for my soul that shields me from harm when the rest of the world is being consumed by chaos," she said, gentle and matter-of-fact.

She looked up at me. "You've always been the person who I knew would be there for me, no matter what. Thank you for loving me so completely, Jamie."

I turned away for a moment, and concentrated just on breathing.

Then I shivered as she took my hand.

"Jamie? Love?"

"Just... need a mo."

I cleared my throat, coughed, cleared it again.

"If you're going to be this serious this early in the evening I'm going to have to break out the port," I rasped, as I brushed at my eyes.

"I'm just... being open. Showing you all of my heart. Now that I know that I can. I... should have done it years ago. Back when I first knew what I felt for you was more than just pure dumb lust. Back when I knew that I loved you."

I heard her slide off her barstool, heard the soft clink as she set aside her glass. She walked around the kitchen counter and came to me, and gently wrapped her arms around me as she leaned in to me. I tucked her in under my chin, enfolded her, and sighed out a soft breath as she melted against me.

"You are my safe place," I whispered, and she squeezed me tighter.

"You are my home," she echoed softly.

And then we simply stood there, all else forgotten, lost in the simple appreciation of the presence of one another.

.:.

"I didn't wear lace," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Oh no. My heart is broken. I am undone. Alas. It is the end..."

"Shut up," she grinned. She raised herself onto her elbow and stared down at me. "I did this on the spur of the moment after I was already on the way to the office. Lacelessness is a small price to pay for me throwing everything else to the wind so I could come to you instead."

"So you literally drove to the airport and said 'Can I have a flight to Cape Town.'"

"Yes."

"I love you, Felicity."

She flushed pinker. "Say that again."

"I love you."

"Again," she whispered, shifting even closer to me.

"I love..."

And she silenced me with a slow, gentle kiss that swiftly became more insistent. She crawled up along me, and then threw her knee over and climbed onto my chest, straddling me and staring down at me.

"What is it?" I breathed.

"Just... savouring this," she said, softly. "Being like this with you, knowing that you finally know that it's you I want. It's been something I've wanted for so long. And I honestly thought I'd never get it. So... I don't want to rush it like I did last time. I want... I want it to be special."

"It already is," I said, staring up at her, and she flushed crimson.

"You know what I mean."

She put her hands to the hem of her teeshirt and slowly pulled it up and off herself. Her old, off-white bra followed suit, and then she sat there, giving me ample time to admire her.

"Can I... touch you?" I asked, softly, once I was done staring in rapture.

"Mm. I like that you ask permission."

"Mortals know their place before their goddess."

"Worship me then," she laughed, as she took my hands and raised them to her. She closed her eyes and arched slightly forward as I gently trailed my fingers down over the pale skin of her perfect breasts.

"Oh, that is nice," she breathed. "Oh, I love that."

"So do I," I groaned.

"I can feel," she whispered. "You're trembling."

"You can't hold that against me..."

"No, I'll hold other things against you," she grinned. She leaned forward, braced herself over me, then collapsed forward with a shuddering groan as I ran my fingers up over her sides and down her back.

"Jamie... " she whimpered. "Watch out... I'm... ticklish when I'm aroused. It's... a major issue..."

"Tell me where to avoid," I grinned into her ear.

"Literally... everywhere sometimes. You'll.... mm... just have to pin me down."

"Ooh."

"Thought you'd like that," she gasped. "Jamie... Jamie... you're...oh god... you're driving me mad by doing that..."

"This?" I said, as I gently stroked my fingers along her back.

"That. Being touched by you... is literally my... favourite thing. Your hugs have always made me... wet, but this is just like that only... a million times better..."

"My hugs made you wet?"

"I'd get home soaking. Every time. It was so frustrating," she muttered, as she writhed against me. "So unfair. I felt deprived."

"Now that's something you should have told me earlier," I laughed.

"Uh huh. Uhn. I'm... oh god... no, stuff this... I'm... I'm going to strip now... and... and you're going to... take me... ok? Because this... what you're doing... uhn... is driving me crazy. You should get naked too," she added softly. "I don't want... anything between us any more."

"You're going to have to let me up then."

She groaned and rolled off me, slowly unbuttoning her jeans as I unzipped mine. I flung mine aside and she did the same. "Pull the blankets up over us," she said. "It's cold and I tense up and that's not going to be fun... Oh. Oh god. That is a big issue you've got there," she added, staring at me as I removed my boxers and kicked them onto the floor.

She swallowed.

"It's technically your fault."

"Ok. I'll own that one..."

I shuddered as she reached out to run a finger along me. "God, I love your body," she said, softly. "Take my panties off for me, Jamie, won't you?"

I rolled onto my knees, and slowly eased the faded sky-blue cotton down off her hips. I groaned as her shaven mons and lips came into view, and she laughed deep in her throat at me.

"Surprised?"

"Uh. Yeah. God, you look amazing."

"I started shaving again," she said, coquettish. "Thought I'd reward you. Clearly you approve of my pussy like this."

"Oh God, yes. Can I..."

"Can you... what?" she breathed.

"Touch... you?"

"Of course you can. Of course I want you to. Get those panties off my legs and put those fingers of yours to work," she added, with a grin. "I'm just going to lie here and make appreciative... oh... uhn... oh wow..."

"Like that?" I breathed, as I slowly eased my finger deeper into her.

"So much. So fucking much," she groaned, spreading her legs wide for me. "Oh. Oh God. Take me, Jamie. Take me. I'm yours. Make me come for you. Please. Make me come for you. Then... then put your penis... uhn... in me and make me come again."

"Are you... sure..."

"Uh huh..."

I lay down beside her, and gathered her into me. She hooked her leg over mine and reached down between us to take me in her hand, holding me gently, fondling me as I toyed with her. I kissed her neck, her shoulder, and gently took a nipple between my lips as I played with her.

She groaned.

"You are so good in me. Don't stop that. So good. Gonna... just need to..."

"Do what you need," I groaned.

"Uhn... ok..."

And then I forced myself against her as I felt her start to frantically play with herself. Her muscles tensed immediately on me, and she let out a low, throaty moan as she changed the angle of her hips.

"Put those fingers... all the way inside..." she gasped, and she began to pant as I obeyed and started to thrust them deep into her.

"Jamie," she managed.

"Uh huh."

"Love you..." she moaned. "Love you in me. Love this."

"Come for me, Fee," I whispered. "Come hard for me. Let me feel you come on me."

"Trying... really... hard..." she groaned. "Almost... too much... oh..."

I pushed myself against her again, and she let out a strangled cry.

"Gonna... gonna... Jamie... Jamie... I'm coming... I'm coming..."

And then convulsions shook her, curled her up against me as she cried and whimpered and ground herself against my fingers, snatching whimpering breaths until she fell back down onto the bed.

She reached up, scrabbled at me, clasping her hand behind my neck as she pulled me up to her to kiss me, hard and desperate.

"Lie on your back," she panted. "I want you. Screw being slow. I need you in me now."

"Fee..."

"Shh. No. It's fine. Please. I need you, Jamie. I need you in me so badly."

So I clasped my hands around her and rolled her up onto me. She scooted herself down along me, and raised herself up as she positioned me against her. She stared down at me, frowning slightly as she slicked me up. Slowly she lowered herself onto me, and we groaned and arched as one as she took me inside her.

"Oh... oh god, Fee," I moaned.

"So good, so good, so worth waiting," she panted. "Fuck me, Jamie. Fuck me hard. Don't hold back, please love, don't hold back, just fuck me hard right now, please..."

She fell forward onto me, and almost without thinking I began to move in and out of her. She moaned loudly, deep in her throat, and dug her nails into my shoulders. "Harder, harder," she begged, "don't worry, don't be gentle, that's for later, for now... I want you... uhn... like this..."

I was panting now, short, frenzied gasps with each hard thrust I gave her. Her thighs slapped on mine, and her hand was busy between her legs once more. She bit me, hard, then shuddered as I groaned.

"James," she whispered. "Jamie. Don't... don't stop... don't stop, love, that's... so perfect... right there... keep your cock... right there..."

"Fee..." I gasped.

"You... close?" she moaned.

"Uh huh..."

"Fill me," she whimpered. "Do it. Fill me. Oh. Oh Jamie..."

I felt her shudder, and she let out a low, almost agonised cry as she began to come again on my rock-hard shaft.

And the groans she gave as she convulsed and writhed against me were all I needed to nudge me over the edge.

I arched up, hard in against her, pulled her hard against me, crying out, mewling into her neck as she wriggled and ground on me and took my pulsing penis as deep into her lithe, wonderful body as she possibly could.

And then we clung to each other, panting, gasping for breath as our heart rates slowed and the sweat cooled on our skin.

She made a small noise and turned her face in against mine.

I kissed her forehead, and simply breathed the scent of her in.

It was quite some time before either of us felt any need to speak.

.:.

I snorted awake, and I heard her soft bubbly laughter as she shifted against me.

"Mm. Whu?"

"You're really cute when you're sleeping," she whispered. "You twitch and make noises. It's really sweet. I could watch you for hours. Such a shame it's morning already."

"Muurm," I grumbled.

She laughed again and kissed my ear. I made another, different type of noise, and moved in closer to her.

"I far prefer this way of waking up," I managed, at last.

"To what?"