All Comments on 'Ocean Apart'

Awesome work, really loved it.

Please do mote

Wonderful start on what looks like a tumultuous and, hopefully, rewarding storyline.

Love the backstory. I'm getting a real feel for the characters, unlike other stories where writers barge in. ( ie. My sisters hot, we look at each other, we fuck) Great start!! Chapter two soon??

Great story.good charecter build up. Hope to see some action next part

What a great story. Please continue. Your writing had me with you every step of the way. Fantastic!

I gave a 4 out of being nice, but to be fair, the category wasn't really a fit. It's fakecest, but most importantly, half of the story is about Sonie, Aimee and their sexual escapades, not Sam or anything. It would fit mature more imho. Some of the characterizations I also don't like, Sam is a contradictive twat, the parents are either ignorant on purpose or just stupid, and Paul is way too wishy-washy at times. Like at the end, "he has to fix it", like why, they both let the situation to deteoriate this much, even the parents let go of his hands after a while, and he went away because of the rejection and the fact she was flaunting her boyfriends in his face in the first place. Don't beta him that much, no one likes a loser that stays a loser all throughout the story, because character development is an important part of a story.

Hurry up with the next instalment

WOW , this is one of the most enjoyable stories on here

I really like your story. I cant wait for Part 2.

links to pages 5 & 6 are "broken" in that NO story print is showing ...... HTH

Wow what a fantastic read. Eager to read more and soon please.

Need more please

Love this type of stories with conflict and emotions, i was ready to complain when his homecoming was set at the last page thought that it was going to rushed, until i saw that this is the part, looking forward to pt.2 maybe another heartbreak for MC and he goes on to becomes the best player in the world and joins real madrid.

Dont know about this one. I have the feeling that Paul is a bit sick. Thats some hard reaction to rejection.

None seen or will there ever be. they can legally marry anywhere on earth.

I liked it, but it is a little bit too long. You should if you do write a part 2 really try to get Paul and Sam back as soon as possible. I really hope you don't wait for 6 or 12 months to get it done.

Great story line. Can't wait for part 2

Great start!

This guy is a loser

Wow, I'd really like to know how this continues.

I don't like cliffhangers, so I gave it 4 stars. Otherwise, a good start.

Aswm bro part of this is reality in my life

I gave 5 stars since it was your first effort. Kudos for your first time out but I agree with the comments from EX8ltrs. Too much focus on non essential characters. They two are not born kin but they have been raised from small children as brother/sister so there is an emotional/societal hill for them to climb. I thought she was being a butt with rubbing her boyfriends in his face even after he showed her how much it upset him. She never tried to understand his POV or at least ignored it. Like to see the parents step in.

Great start please continue the story!

Great start and hope to see more soon ,

Great story and well told. Hurry with part two. How many parts do you anticipate?

Hello evryone. Thank you for the feed back both good and bad. It helps! Its all welcomed as long as you dont make it a personal attack.

Now then as of right now there is 4 parts for sure. Possible 5 as I'm still working on part 3.

Part 2 is completed but in midst of being edited. So hope to have it out soon.

Amazing, more please

Like the story your telling. He should forget about Sam. She didnt want him her loss. Not sure about anyone else but Sonia was good teacher but Aimee she was killer! Whats the matter with Paul letting her go when she practically givivg herself to him. She fucking hot!

Curious to see where this goes.

But good back story and writing. For your first story better then some others ive read so far

5/5 for now dont make us wait to long.

I really don't understand the point of focusing so much time on Sonia and Aimee when the story is supposed to be focused on Sam. I would almost want to forget about Sam but this is an incest story so I'm guessing she is the focus.

Well done.

Great part 1. 5 stars

I really disliked the “cliff hanger” comment as it was unfair, especially to a new author.

I think the cuck stories belong in the loving wives section.

Paul seems to be a bit of a psychopath in the first few pages

I really enjoyed the story and look forward to Part 2.

I enjoy the pacing. Leaves our (capable) minds to do a little filling in and keeps the story moving well through a span of many years. This was a (more than) solid first submission, hopefully with future installments. Rated 5 of 5 and looking forward to more.

I loved the story, hope part two will be soon coming & love can conquer all

Cliffhanger is fine but let people know this is part 1. Stars removed for lack of consideration to the reader.

Okay...decent story but as I get into the characters I am thinking Paul is an idiot. Sam didn't want him but Aimee did and went along way to show it. They are good together but Paul is stuck with a memory and not reality. In any case I am looking forward to part 2.

Okay to the anon who complained about the cliff hanger being inconsiderate and not letting reader know it was part 1. I suggest you read disclaimer at start of story saying multipart story, then at end where it says part 2 is being edited.

Now then right now there is at least 4 lengthy parts planned. 3 are written already and the 4 started.

So if your not into a long story now is your chance to walk away.

To the anon saying your not into bi/les/gay scenes. Walk away now cause you wont be happy no matter the direction the story takes.

All i can promise is it will be finished and wont be a year to wait. Id just like to get some feed back along the way so ill space the chapters apart.

Otherwise thank you all for the feed back so far.

very well written

Good story mate, don't let the couch critics tear you down on this. You had a great build up and developed some solid characters. I really hope you put out the next installment. We have all got to know and feel for Paul so we all want to see how this all plays out!

Well written and I appreciated the pacing. This isn't my catagory of choice, but that's on me for not reading the tags. And where I didn't like some of the characters, I did find them interesting. 5⭐ Excellent first submission.

I hope Aimee comes back in the story with a big belly surprise for Paul.

#pregnantfriendwithbenefits

Thanks for the written warning about anal, even though you left it out of the tags. Saved me from reading six pages only to be disgusted by a male character that prefers gender-neutral dry holes to a nice, wet pussy.

Damn that was good. I hope you have part 2 ready for submittal. 5*

Quite good.

Interesting that Paul has been deeply intimate, both physically and emotionally, with Aimee, yet does not realize the import of what he had been a part of. She was just friendly sex, and she should have known that, they had talked about that. This was in spite of how Paul himself felt, wanting her more than anything else in his life at one point, wanting her to live with him, and drawing on all the benefits of a true partner, seemingly.

How these three grow and/ or change might be very interesting, lead on!

You must have written some stories of some sort, for this was a decent submission! I enjoyed this story. I'm looking forward to more. 5 🌟. You are a good author

Hooked me. C'mon part deaux!

Loved it. I feel for Amiee, it seems like their relationship was turning into more, Paul really missed out on that, or did he? The cliffhanger at the end, grrr.. lol. Great 1st part, I can't wait for the next.

Well written, I hope you have written the entire story before submitting this. Not sure where the incest is coming from? Don't mind long stories but long stories with long gaps between chapters are a different matter. Seems like this should be a 2 part Romance to me. 4 or 5 chapters seems a bit sadistic.....

I definitely want to read more.

You have a gift for this.

Thank you

Loved it, thank you 😀

Can’t wait to read the next chapter as this one stopped at the point I was waiting for since he moved to Lisbon.

waiting for the next chapter

MOAR!!!! Seriously please continue, well written!

Please! Give us part 2, I love this story.

One of the best written stories.

Hello

I have submitted part 2 already and is pending approval. Im not sure if its shows or not cause new author activity notificatiobs are still having trouble. Just keep an eye out for it. Part 3 is off to editor as well.

Thank you for reading and feed back

My 2 cents

Excellent story. I like how you build the characters and story. I look forward to part 2. Thanks for your time and imagination.

This is absolutely one of the best, No, Greatest starts to a story I have read on this site. Your talented in writing is on a whole nutha level! Fantastic, Wonderful and very well thought out! I can't wait to read the next part..5 stars do not even do this first part justice! Definitely a 10+ star if there is one..Great job!!! 💪🙏🇺🇸

Great story. I feel the characters. Wonderful writing style. You have talent. Please continue writing. Thanks.

This was amazing. Awesome character development and plot line. Five stars from me. Looking forward to reading the next chapters.

I'm looking forward to reading the next two chapters

What a great love story, I am surpirsed that all of the stories are not linked together so that a reader doesn't have to go back to the profile to continue this wonderful tale. Well done, 5/5

I usually don't comment much on most of the stuff I read, but this tale got my attention from the beginning and held it until the end...and that's rare for me. Great story, and I'm not stopping until I read the rest of them, so, I'll comment again at the end of Ch. 4....Again, a really great beginning. Keep it up.