All Comments on 'Oceans Treasure'

This is good but it felt so rushed. I couldn't really appreciate the sex scenes, they were

I like this story but it felt too rushed. I couldn't really get into the sex or dramatic scenes because they were over before they got started. The pace was trying to leave me behind and non of the big moments felt big. Hell, I couldn't tell if you're main character was emotional. Even being angry at finding his close ones betraying him did not feel big. This could an awesome mythology-like epic if you put more details and more "living" in between the big moments. Let us know what's going on inside your characters. Make us want them to win. (Sorry if this posted twice, my first bit sent before I was finished) Keep Going!

Thanks for the comments Carnel_words. It is a short story so yes, it is a little rushed. I am not really into writing , suck, fuck, cock, and pussy, or like words 20 times in one sex session and just put down crude sex acts. I can do novella's but just don't care to. Being very novice at writing, constructive comments are always welcomed.

The story actually should be used as a layout for a great epic / novel. I understand its a big ask but you could offer it to others to flesh it out. Waiting for the promised second part.

If anyone wants to take my story and expand on it, I will be willing to talk about it.