by midnightnightscrawler
19 pages? Could you re-write to max 6-7. I read by diagonal but it was too boring
This is, of course, your story/fantasy and you should write it as you see fit. However, oh there's that word. You might take into account some of your readers comments about lead up and length. On the bright side your description of the sexual encounters was very good indeed. 4 stars until I see how your protagonists interact with one another.
The pacing of the story was perfect. The time you took writing it was well worth it. I'm eagerly awaiting Part 2.
I like the story but it was shlog to get through 19 pages. You might consider breaking part 2 into shorter chapters
Thank you for this. Wonderful story with only a few minor mistakes, primarily in continuity. The length seemed daunting at first; however, the craft drew me in (I’m glad for that!). I will wait eagerly yet patiently for the next part .
Pay no attention to the negative comments. Troglodytes who just want quick stroke material…
It was a great story, and you built the sexual tension perfectly. 5 stars…
Just one item: proof read…2-3x. Print it on paper and mark it up. You had a few omissions of words in a thought, likely from writing fast to get it down before it left your consciousness. Have someone else proof read after you slice it up…9x out of 10 they’ll find things you missed.
This is one of the best stories i have read on this site. The characters are engaging the story written with care. Im looking forward to the next part.
Five. Stars normally, I don’t leave a comment. This was by far one of the best stories I have read here in the last 10 years my compliments thank you for taking the time you put into the story
I loved the slow seduction. That's why I love Literotica much more than porn. I delayed reading the last few pages to savor what had already happened and to anticipate the swap. I'm bummed I didn't get the rest of the story yet, but look forward to future chapters.
Amazingly erotic and tender story, absolutely loved it and can't wait for Part 1
I’m afraid I am going to have to come down on the side of too much going on that really had nothing to do with the story. You list me and the Romanian dance instructor.
Wow,amazing good,very sensual and captivating,i cant wait for the next episodes,and the lenght,also good,nice to read some depth the story,great build up.