All Comments on 'Old World Magic Ch. 13'

a excellent story but too short as always cant wait for more

see above

I was afraid you weren't going to post any more. glad you're back!

I was starting to suffer withdraw. Thanks again.

As always, I'm loving the narrative and the action. Tough to decide which I like more. Keep it coming!

Been reading this story enthusiastically, always glad to see more of it. Thank you for writing this, and please keep giving us more of this.

Thank you for a new chapter!

Thank you to everyone for the feedback and comments, both here on the story and those of you who have sent direct feedback to me. I really appreciate the votes on my stories, and the consistently high votes really keep me motivated to try to keep providing for you all. It tells me that I'm doing something right and that you appreciate it. I just submitted (monday morning, sep 23) chapter 14, and I can promise you it's a bit longer. Chapter 14 is almost twice as long in fact. For those of you who wanted to see a slow increase in Mike's powers, you'll be pleased, and I hope everyone else enjoys it as well.

I've just started writing chapter 15, and I'm going to try to post a chapter at least once a month, and as often as every two weeks if I can.

Once again, thank you for enjoying my story, and I hope to keep providing for you.

-Rhev

But it is kinda annoying how you have inconsistency in the story. mike was born in 1996 but just turned 21??? That should make him 17. And mike also had a barber shave his bald head that never grows hair? I really love how well this story has been shaped but these little cracks in the story line really kill the emersion.

You're jumping into the story at chapter 13 but you're complaining about cracks in the story? That doesn't really make a lot of sense mr. anon.

Mike isn't 17, 21, nor was he born in 1996. Mike Naughton the main character in the story is 39 years old. The story as it currently is set is summertime in 2009, and Mike was born as "Micheal Gray" in the year 1970. However as part of the story (in chapter 5) he had his entire identity as Micheal Gray wiped out when he, with the help of Adam and Renia, faked his death. As a part of his new identity Renia, a 'body shaping' mage, sculpted him a new body and as a FBI agent crafted him a new name. Part of that body sculpting was that she made him completely hairless, and only after he complained, did she allow him to 'regrow' his eyebrows.

I always appreciate feedback and comments, but I'm sure you gave this chapter a lower ranking because you didn't understand these things. Things that you would have understood if you'd read the earlier chapters.

Would it make sense to pick up a copy of Moby Dick and flip to chapter 13, then start complaining about why Ahab is being so aggressive? Would you throw the book down and say "Well, I don't know who Queequeg is! This book is inconsistent!" No, of course not. Just like it would be insane for me to try to recap every single thing that happened in previous chapters in each chapter as I write it.

In a slight nod to the fact that readers often wait weeks or longer between chapters, I do allow slight nods of recap in my chapters, but try to weave them into the narrative. For example early in this chapter I mention Ruby, Adam, and Emily when talking about Mike's 6th sense, which is a nod towards the fact that those three characters aren't human (being a succubus, and two mages respectively).

Now, in fairness to you mr. Anon, maybe you didn't see that the title of the story was "Old World Magic Ch. 13" and thought that this was a standalone story. If so, I understand and forgive you. I hope that if you ever do read this, by way of apology you take the time to go back and read the other chapters, and if you like them, give them 5 star ratings. I think if you liked this chapter, save the 'inconsistencies' born of your own ignorance of previous chapters, you'll end up very much enjoying the story as a whole (or at least as it's written so far).

In any regard, should you read this message, I hope that your confusion is now cleared up.

Regards,

-Rhev

Whilst I must echo everyone's sentiment and state that this is a superb story (the character development is particularly impressive), I agree with the previous comment about there being contradictions especially as to the nature of hair growth on Mike's body. On several occasions you have given used the impression that hair now grows on Mike(like with him requiring a barber), you however contradict yourself later by stating that he is completing hairless except for his eyebrows. The fixing of those little contradictions would be appreciated. Thank you for a great story.

I'll have to go back and re-read and re-edit then. As mentioned in previous chapters I had a catastrophic hard drive crash that caused me to lose several chapters of this story that I had written, as well as the other I'd been writing and a third that was about six chapters long.

Apologies for the inconsistencies.