All Comments on 'Ollie's Revenge'

Absolutely perfect.

English, I think you should revisit it.

Subpar writing with numerous grammatical errors and outright blunders in the prose. Little to no character development and the sex scenes are blase. We don't know why Ollie and Joyce think two wrongs make a right as the author never deigns to tell us. They revenge-fuck and establish a long-term cheating relationship. Both marriages are doomed, yet the author evidently feels that this is unimportant as no effort is invested by the author in the future, other than a trite "Happy Trails to You" ending. I'd've been interested to see a long-term wife swap, to see how that would play out.

The scene with the PI is not credible and serves only to lessen the quality of the authorship. Overall, there's no narrative drive to the story and there's no impact character since our "hero" ends up doing precisely what his nemesis and wife do. The attempt to play on our outrage at their cheating fails miserably (it is, after all, an old story).

Excellent fiction this is not. This 25's for you for a job not well done.

Why doesnt Ollie and joe swap wifes then no one gets to be the wiser of joe and ruth being caught on tape.

Pat .

Atlanta,Ga.

Why doesnt Ollie and joe swap wifes then no one gets to be the wiser of joe and ruth being caught on tape.

Pat .

Atlanta,Ga.

This might have been an enjoyable story If you hadn't slaughtered the English language so. Please read your freshman English Handbook or get an editor.

Ollie discovers his best friend having sex with his wife, and he now has sex with the friends wife as revenge. Not enough character development, or emotions going on here. Using the DVD, he should be able to fire his friend with cause (there normally is a morals clause in a contract), and divorce his wife and ruin her reputation with the community and the family. Hopefully he will also make out better in the divorce. As far as Joe's wife goes, why not see if they could be a couple after she divorces the cheating bastard?

Good story. Forget abouth those bitches that write about your english language not being right. You write these stories for erotica fun, not for an English class at college. Maybe they should get off of their fat ass and have some of the same sex that you write about. Maybe even write us a story to read, if they can think of one.........

why would he want to divorce a woman/wife whose fucking around gets his dick harder than a rock?

don't be stupid; the guys enjoys privately made porn, especially if it is his wife "starring" in it! it's stupid to divorce a woman who could get your dick that hard, even when you are supposed to be angry!

he's likely waiting for some fresh creampies; he probably thanks the wife to no end for bringing him such tasty treats! as some say, only very, very self-confident and strong men could do that, would do that: letting your wife fuck others and sucking her clean afterward! lol!

the rest of us who couldn't or won't do that, we are just a whole bunch of sissy, girly men!

What a great job. Keep up the good work and ignore the idiots.

Your destruction of the English language in this story ruined it for me. Please have some compassion for your readers and either get an editor or learn the language BEFORE you submit a story.

ruined due to:

a) inadequate situational development

b) poor characterisation

c) shoddy language

more haste, less speed!

Joe can have an ugly divorce where it simply costs him a lot and oliver, depending on the place, can leave ruth in a marginal situation. An alienation of affection action against joe? The revenge can be thorough and complete, and that would be swell, and oliver has options with joyce.

Just another common "Watching a man fuck my wife makes my dick hard."

lets total up the score. TK U MLJ LV NV

That's what you call even Steven!!!! You did mine I'll do yours.

being upside down and backwards leads to vertigo. TK U MLJ LV NV

I gave it a 5 just for the way he got even, women get even by getting gangbanged.

It's hard to write a revenge tale when you're so perverted you can't take your mind off dirty fucking for two seconds! That was your fucking wife man! Fucking pervert!!!

better choose sides and duck, TK U MLJ LV NV

Revenge fucks don't work. However this tale was too short to give a fuck about it so I don't.

...it was an opportunity.. Somehow this story stopped where others usually begin. Rename this story: Olly fucks back.

.....but a great story about getting back to equal.

Now, he has to get Joyce pregnant and let sir-fuck-around pay to raise it.

Then three years in, he should dump the whore and find someone that will stick with him.

You get yours Ollie! You da man!