All Comments on 'On Fire'

It lost me when it went from dinner to waking up sorry

Jetzt weiß ich endlich wie die Bilder für die Buchcover entstehen...

Sweet, cute, not tied up in tropes. I enjoy reading female written erotica because of the different perspective. I refer to the ending of stories on LIT as "dismounts" because too many writers close a story as abruptly as gymnastic dismount from an apparatus. Even though your ending was short, it was very well done and gives your story the "cherry on top" it deserves. Others should take note.

A few more details of their Erotic Coupling would have made this more entertaining.

Enjoyed it

Comments on the comment:

"1thaiguyabout: It lost me when it went from dinner to waking up sorry"

Ada: Oh, no, that's too bad. I'm sorry, that wasn't my intention. I tried something new and made a jump forward, excluding the scene I would normally write

--

"Anonymous: Jetzt weiß ich endlich wie die Bilder für die Buchcover entstehen..."

Ada: Haha, yes, I revealed all my secret tricks for getting those covers there, lol.... Hmm, I like that idea, by the way. I need to put it into a story, so thank you so much :-)

--

"Anonymous:

Sweet, cute, not tied up in tropes. I enjoy reading female written erotica because of the different perspective. I refer to the ending of stories on LIT as "dismounts" because too many writers close a story as abruptly as gymnastic dismount from an apparatus. Even though your ending was short, it was very well done and gives your story the "cherry on top" it deserves. Others should take note."

Ada: Awww, thank you so much :-) You made me speechless - lol, that doesn't happen very often, so I mean it as a compliment :-)

--

"pantograph:

Nice but too brief

A few more details of their Erotic Coupling would have made this more entertaining."

Ada: Good idea! I like that one, and I suddenly got a lot of thoughts about how to prolong this one. Thank you so much :-)

--

"Drtywrdsmith: Enjoyed it"

Ada: Aww, thank you so much for telling me :-) I always struggle with this contest, but I'm a strong believer of just giving it a try anyway :-)

please consider making this into a longer story!!!

Both my irrepressible voyeur and my eternally curious 12-year-old personas wish there had been more detail about the naked date process—after all this is supposed to be a Nude Day entry.

My detail oriented drill sergeant is pissed that you jumped from a dinner invitation to waking up in bed and on the other hand my hippy dippy artist persona is delighted with that selfsame jump since it allows for the exercise of a whole lot of creative imagination to fill in the gap.

It's a nice piece of work that, on balance, feels like it should be a wee bit longer.

Short and sweet. I liked it but don't usually go fo short stories. For me, obviously, it could have been a bit longer, the obvious areas being the contest, perhaps the meal and more back at his apartment. Nevertheless still 5 stars.

Bonjour Ada,

histoire courte mais simple et tendre, chaude et romantique à la fois. il faut savoir ignorer certains détails qui n'ajoutent rien à l'histoire — ce qu'ils ont prit comme apéritif —, là, vous avez été à l'essentiel tout en gardant votre esprit et votre style. Bravo.

Pierre

Ada, this sooo short. Haha

But what a story

To luv_romance from Ada Stuart:

So true! I never write these short ones, lol. Still, when I have to, and the other stories do not behave (they never do, lol) I can push myself, I guess :-)