All Comments on 'On Sabbatical'

Loved the story so far, excellent work! As a suggestion, maybe it could be interesting to have a sex scene between Carrie Ann and Emily, and then later having Roland joining them if you want, as a way to get him and Carrie Ann back together, kinda.

The suggestion to have Emily & Carrie Anne "do" a sex scene would be to ruin a story that's already on shaky legs. Mother-daughter effing is not cool, IMHO.

The story on the whole seems hollow, detached. A reader can intuit some of the things that led up to Roland & Carrie Anne crossing the line, but it's not compelling. Emily's attempt at reconciliation with her daughter is too simple and too quick; their situation is too complicated for a quick, short apology and a few tears.

She isn't giving him a second chance.