All Comments on 'Once It Gets Dark Ch. 05'

Ugh, fucked into submission. So hot!!

Insanely hot - love the way the general makes her submit to him every time - it’s time to make the chapters longer and the wait shorter

This is going to be so hard waiting for chapters! Please don’t make us wait long between them.

Amazing! I love this series, it’s my favorite thing I’ve read on this website and I can’t wait to read mkore

I’m hooked on this storyline. 5 stars.

Excellent! I'm thinking he's calling her something other than "my toy" probably something more affectionate... And while she may feel the need to escape, it'll turn out Tim isn't the friend she thought he was. That he came back in the middle of the night for reasons of this own

I'd trade sexy parts that don't necessarily add things we don't already know about their dynamic for action that moves the plot along, political intrigue (like a potential rival, Ren's spurned ex-lover) , and culture reveals/language lessons from Ren. Those interest me much more.

Still, thanks for posting! Curious where this will go.

I’m so invested in this story and this chapter made me cry. I know it’s a noncon, but it kind of felt like he got sweet on her? And even when he started calling her keltz'in, I thought maybe she just didn’t know what it meant and secretly it meant something nice…but now it feels like he really does just think of her as a toy. I know it’s a noncon, but I loved the moments where it felt like they genuinely wanted each other? And my heart hurts for her now. How do you come back from being violated in front of someone, of him laughing afterwards with his friend? I’m torn between wanting him to magically redeem himself somehow and wanting her to take revenge lol. Basically, you’ve got me all up in the feels! So good job.

I love it! Can’t wait for more

love the moments he starts to let his guard down around her, i’m hoping he surprises her with speaking some words to her in german the same way she says some words in veril to him when theyre getting down and dirty

Ive never been so invested on a story on the site before please keep it up

Please get a proofreader to look over your work. It may add some complexity to the process, and you've explained you'll be busy these coming weeks, but you should take time to publish works you can be proud of that don't suffer from stilted prose that can be described as unimaginative at best and juvenile at worst.

Commas shouldn't be inserted just anywhere you'd 'pause' in your mind when you read your sentence. The reader doesn't need to be reminded of every term we've heard explained before. For example, the Kirtim Shenk being the Shenik's fighting force. Trust us to remember these things since it hasn't been that long since your previous chapters!

This is such an interesting premise and so fascinating a spinoff from the 'Sveril' tale that I want to see it executed well, and I want us as readers to see you improving your writer's voice and use of adjectives.

More please! I'm soooo excited to see where you take this story.

I just wish we knew what Ren and the General are saying about her!!

I also love the mixture of story and sex, while I love the plot I really enjoy the spicy scenes, especially with Ren being so dominant, I loveee it.

I absolutely love this! Please do keep it going!!

Really good serie. I am super invested in all the aspects. This feels even worth becoming a published Book maybe one day. I will stay tuned to read more and Hope that there will be lot of it !

I cannot get enough of this story!! I agree that the experience would be enhanced by a bit of proofreading, but I could honestly give a shit so long as you are writing and posting it!

Honestly, thank you so much for sharing this. This is one of two ongoing series on this site that I am just chomping at the bit to read more of. Great pacing, character development, worldbuilding, etc. I love how the characters keep taking me by surprise and they never disappoint. The chemistry between them is off the charts! My heart is literally racing at the end of every chapter. I can't wait to see what they do next. You've got me thinking about their motivations, goals, etc. You've got me thinking about theme. You've got me EXCITED! I love the dynamic you're creating and I can't wait to see where it goes.

Writing-wise, the comma use impacts readability quite a bit. I'm often having to reread sentences because of that, and that can definitely lead to some frustration for readers. My advice is: when in doubt, comma out. A misplaced comma is far more common and far more confusing in my experience, so the safest bet is to just avoid a comma if you can. They're usually unnecessary. (I don't think I came up with that saying, it's too clever, but I can't remember where I heard it either lol.)

I think you're doing a great job. I usually don't read the newer stories because I like having a full story/series to read because I am impatient AF but I have been on the lookout for the latest chapters to this story every week. I couldn't remember the title the first time I was looking for it and my heart dropped because I thought I might never find it again lol. Stories like this are what make this site worthwhile, so thank you again for sharing.

Oh this story I can’t get enough of it please keep posting and don’t disappear I check every day now for a new post from you Love (anonymous)

Gawd damn I need me a general like that. 😮‍💨

Can't wait for more!!!

Mariadela such a great story!! I check daily hoping for a new chapter. I wouldn't take what the anonymous grammar nazi user said below seriously. I have never seen someones story shoot up so high on the favorites list so quickly. That should be all the proof you need that you're doing everything right! Xx

This is the first serial story on this site I’ve read all the parts of, in many years of visiting here. Great job. Can’t wait to read more. Reminds me of ACOTAR a bit but you got right to the good bits. Can’t wait to see what Tim was up to with his mask too.

I am another reader who has gotten hooked on the story. I sense we are in for a pretty long ride and I do hope you have a story line mapped out to get us there. I fear what happens often on this site where an amateur, hobbyist, author, paints themselves into a corner and is unable to complete their saga. This is a story where I, like others, already eagerly await the next chapter. The grammarians may be correct but that is not what this site is about. It is about hobbyist writings of free stories to entertain and titillate. This is a cracking good tale. Like any other hobby, the act of creating an item improves through repetition. This is a great story concept. Please let your creativity flow. Looking forward to your next chapter.

I was so excited to see more to read! I can't wait for the rest!!

Congratulations for having number 1 rank in Top Rated Stories in the category NonConsent/Reluctance 🥳 this shows you just how much we love what your doing, Please make this a full-length story and don’t disappear on us.

I'm in awe of this story . I'm entirely obsessed and can not wait for the rest of the story to unfold. Fingers crossed it'll be soon. <3 Love your work ! !!!!

Hi everybody, thank you so much!

I really appreciate all of your feedback, be it positive or negative. The fact that you are actually taking the time to think about Anna and Ren is still mind-blowing to me.

I am working on Chapter 6, but as I mentioned before, I have some busy weeks ahead, so I think the earliest that I will be able to update will be next weekend (after submitting, it usually takes two days for Literotica to approve the text, so it should be online more or less in a week from now).

I hope to be able to stick to an updating schedule of every 1.5 to 2 weeks (1 week if things go well).

I am very sorry that I will not be able to update more often than that, but I have a job and a family, and it is simply impossible to do it faster if I want to stay a fully functioning member of society, haha :)

Anyway, thank you guys again; I really love reading your thoughts!

Thank you for being so consistent. I very much enjoy this story and continue to look forward to the next chapter. I hope you finish this story and not forget about us like most writers do on this site. If it helps, maybe you could make the chapters longer. Anyway, thank you ! Can’t wait for the next chapter

Yum! I’m enjoying your story, and I’ll look forward to reading more soon. Thank you!!

I am obsessed with this story! TY!

I’ve never commented on a story like this in my life, but This is truly the best story I’ve read on this site. I’m absolutely hooked. If you are not a published writer, you should consider a career change! Thank you for sharing your work with us.

Amazing Story! you should make it a books. It has writing that is well structured and very unique story line. Honestly I'd buy this book

I honestly think you should consider this as a book series. I mean I understand how far from here to there is but this is a lovely well written piece. It's interesting and spicy 🥵

This is so good!!

Wow, I've never commented before but I just needed to thank you, this story is fantastic! I'm loving the sense of push and pull between them, even though he holds all the power. Love the breeding + the noncon. Super hot. Your descriptions are excellent.

Don't let the grammar police get you down, enjoy, the, commas. Hahaha, I didn't even notice until I read the comments. Perfection doesn't exist, people will always find flaws. I'd much rather regular writing with imperfection, than a pressured author.

This is such a great story. I would pay for this book. Please continue. I can’t wait

Hi everybody I just (April 9th) submitted Chapter 6, so it should be online in a day or two. You guys are the best! Thank you so much for your support!

I really appreciate the fantastic story telling here. I cant wait for the last part to cone out. I can also tell you, a sequel would be welcomed.

Love your story. Don't worry about commas, don't bother with proofreaders, Just keep posting. Kuchun

I just found your story and I'm so focused on reading this now like I need it published as a book! I will keep reading as long as you keep writing.

I can't wait for the next chapter!! I hope they learn to love each other

So obsessed with this story! Would legit read a whole novel about this.