One Bad Year

"I can do it for you if you want to go out?" I offered.

"No, I'll do it. You've been doing most of the housework this week. I should do something. You haven't written anything in your blog either, you should do that."

"You still read my blog?" I asked confused, she hadn't asked about it for a long time.

"Of course, I do," she almost snapped.

"I haven't written anything because I have been recording videos to put on YouTube."

Ingrid's eyebrows raised in surprise, "You're finally doing that?"

"Yeah, I noticed I've been failing you and worst of all myself," I confessed. "I have become lazy, I needed to up my game a bit."

I was sure an impressed expression flickered on her face before she rose and said, "I need to go," and she instinctively kissed me on the lips. Ingrid paused, realising what she had done before she quickly turned, gathered her things, and rushed out of the door.

I saw Nick again on Friday,

"Hey Jack, how's it going," he asked unsure if he should ask. "How are things with you and Ingrid?"

"Good," I said smiling but then I could not hold in my emotions any longer and I broke down and began sobbing.

"Jack, dude!" Nick asked with genuine concern. "What happened? She hasn't left you, has she?"

I shook my head, "No, she kissed me today," I told him between sobs. "She didn't mean to but it was like it was out of habit."

Nick embraced me. This guy is fucking awesome, "Jack, I am so happy for you. Right, this isn't the time to stop. We need to push on. Come on, let's get going."

That evening over dinner, Ingrid complimented me,

"I liked your blog today. When are you going to post your videos?"

"I've recorded about five of them but they need editing. Do you mind if I do some of it tonight? I need to start posting them."

"No, of course not. Can I see them?"

"Yeah, I said enthusiastically. "As I said they need editing but you can be the first to see them."

"I'd like that."

As Ingrid watched the videos, I could see her interest grow.

"They're good," she told me sitting close to me. "You need to lighten up a bit and be less stiff but the content is really good." Ingrid was as much an expert on finance as I was so her opinion and praise mattered not just as my wife. She would have told me if they were no good.

While she watched the videos messages kept pinging on her phone. I was in no doubt it was Will. He must be going through hell knowing she was at home with me. I worked on the editing of the videos. Ingrid looked at my screen every now and again and smiled, completely ignoring her phone until she fell asleep on the sofa again.

Throughout the week she had gone from hostile to worried, to awkward, and for the first time, I felt she was relaxing around me. I was sure I was winning but I still had a long way to go.

That weekend we behaved a little more like a couple. We went out to do the shopping and other chores together. I felt she was no longer ashamed to be seen with me but she was tense whenever we were out, constantly looking over her shoulder, I assumed because she was afraid that we would meet Will or anyone else who could expose her affair. I needed to tell her I knew, but not yet. I still needed to like myself.

Chapter 4

The following week, went like the previous except she kissed me on the lips each day before heading to work. Ingrid would "work late" when she went on her dates with Will but only stayed out very late on Thursday. She had clearly been drinking and needed to masturbate. I could hear her masturbate noisily. I even heard the squelching of her wet pussy,

"Fuck! Oh, Fuck!" she moaned until she almost screamed, "Fuck!" as she orgasmed. Then I could feel a tense silence in the bathroom before she said almost wailing drunkenly, "Oh Jack, what are you doing to me?" She turned on the shower and I could hear her sobbing. Part of me wanted to comfort her but that would have told her that I knew about her affair. It took all my strength not to go to her.

She eventually crept almost guiltily to bed. She may have been drunk but I felt elated. She masturbated but what sent her over the edge was thinking of me. All the work I put in over the past two weeks was working. I was close but not there yet and still had to tell her I knew about her and Will.

It wasn't just Ingrid that made me feel happier. The following morning, I noticed that my trousers felt looser and my t-shirt appeared tighter around the chest. I couldn't help but take off my t-shirt and check myself out in the mirror. There was still a small overhang with my stomach but it was definitely smaller, my man boobs had gone and I flexed and touched the muscles in my arms and thighs and they were definitely harder. Nick said I would start to see results in three weeks but it had been two.

When I met with Nick that afternoon, I had to let him know,

"Hey Nick, look!" I exclaimed and I lifted my t-shirt. "I can't believe I've toned up already."

"Woah dude!" Nick replied, sounding impressed.

"I can't thank you enough maybe if I keep it up, I'll have a physique like yours."

"Nah," he replied cockily, lifting his own t-shirt and deliberately flexing his abs, "you have a long way to go for that."

"Asshole!" I laughed.

"In all seriousness though, I am impressed, Jack. Anyone can not like what they see in the mirror but it takes real strength to overcome yourself and make real changes to your life. It's inspiring!"

"Shut up, Nick!" I said not believing a word of it thinking it was fitness trainer spiel to keep me motivated.

Nick put his hand on my shoulder and looked me directly in the eye, "Dude, you need to believe it! It is inspiring! I could see how much progress you made and it is all down to you, I just showed you how and to be honest I thought you would quit. Every time I pushed you harder, you responded. I'm fucking proud of you man, fucking proud." He sounded really emotional.

I just smiled stupidly, "Honestly, how long would it take to get a physique like yours?"

"You can't, dude, I'm sorry. Not that I don't believe you could do it, it is just that we are different body types. What we can do is get the best physique for you, how does that sound?"

"Sounds great!" I smiled.

"Cool, new goal! Let's get to work!"

I think that was the day I regained my self-esteem and self-worth.

That evening, Ingrid came home slightly late with bags of shopping. She looked upset.

"Let me cook tonight," she told me giving me a kiss before handing me a beer and throwing her phone on the counter. "You've been working hard recently. Why don't you work on your videos? They've become very popular at work. Everyone is very impressed."

When dinner was ready, I noticed that her phone hadn't moved.

After dinner, we sat in front of the tv, Ingrid felt withdrawn. Over the week she had started to sit closer to me until tonight we sat with legs touching.

"What's wrong, Ingrid?" I said firmly as I felt her constantly move.

"Nothing, it's just my feet hurt. I did a presentation for some prospective clients today and I spent all day on my feet."

I knew she was telling the truth this time. She went to work with some uncomfortable high heels. I got up and got some moisturizer. "Give me your feet," I told patting my lap.

"Jack?" she muttered in disbelief.

"Come on!" I told her firmly, surprising myself at how domineering I was.

Ingrid did as I told her and I began to massage her feet. She closed her eyes and moaned, "Oh, that feels so good!" Her eyes then opened wide in panic and she rushed out of the room. I sat there feeling confused. I was making her feel good but all it did was to make her bolt from the room. I followed her upstairs to our bathroom to find it locked and Ingrid was sobbing inside.

"Ingrid, are you ok?" I asked gently, knocking at the door.

"Don't worry, I'm just being stupid. You go and watch tv, I think I will go to bed."

When your significant other who is cheating on you tells you not to worry, you worry. I went downstairs and found Ingrid's phone and check her messages. There was only one new message and that was from Will. All it said with a kissing emoji was,

Miss you!!!

No matter how often I saw those messages from Will it still made me sick to the stomach but their messaging looked like they were getting lighter, less frequent, and Ingrid's appeared to be becoming less and less committal. I may have been reading what I wanted it to be but Ingrid didn't look like she was as into Will as she used to be.

Throwing her phone onto the coffee table, I then picked up my laptop and began editing some videos but my heart just wasn't into it. Reading Will's message to Ingrid reminded me that, although things were better between myself and Ingrid, there was still another person in our relationship. I took a deep breath to calm myself and went to bed.

When I got to the bedroom, Ingrid looked like she was already asleep. I cleaned my teeth and slipped into bed next to Ingrid. She was breathing softly with her back to me. I just laid there my mind going at one hundred miles an hour. I knew I would have to tell Ingrid that I knew about Will and that day was fast arriving.

I don't know why; I suppose I just had a need to hold somebody. With all the thoughts going through my head at that moment I felt venerable so I turned toward Ingrid and put my arm around her and I immediately felt her tense up. A sense of dread came over me and my mind began to panic. I misjudged where we were. She still had strong feelings for Will. It was too late. She was going to leave me anyway.

Just as I began to pull my arm back, she suddenly took hold of it with it neither around her nor off her. It was in an unsatisfactory in-between place. My body froze and Ingrid appeared to be locked in indecision like I had thrown her a curveball. I wasn't sure but I thought I heard her whisper to herself in frustration,

"This isn't fair!"

She then moved back into me and brought my arm down and around her, holding it tightly. As we both laid together for the first time in months, in the spooning position, Ingrid whispered,

"This is nice," and gripped my arm even tighter.

"Ingrid, you're hurting me," I whispered back.

"Sorry," she laughed as she loosened her grip but not enough for me to easily take it back. Ingrid had taken possession of it and didn't plan to return it until morning.

The warmth and closeness of Ingrid next to me meant the inevitable then happened and I got an erection. It caused an awkwardness between us, neither of us knowing what the other wanted or was going to do.

"I'm sorry," Ingrid eventually said with sadness in her voice which I hadn't heard for a long time, reaching behind me and touching my leg. "I'm not ready for that yet."

"That's okay," I whispered back. The truth was neither was I.

I awoke the following morning to find Ingrid wasn't next to me. As I came to, I heard her masturbating in the bathroom once more,

"Oh god!" she moaned as she approached her orgasm. "Fuck! Oh Fuck! FUUUCCCK!" I now felt a little sad it wasn't me doing that for her but then I was taken aback when I heard her begin to cry afterward and say, "Oh God! I am so confused!"

Chapter 6

Have you had one of those days or weeks where everything goes your way? Well, the following week was one of those. We had spent the weekend as what felt like a married couple for the first time in months, no, in almost a year. That is how bad things got. Sleeping together became more intimate, without any physical interaction. Ingrid put her hand up my t-shirt and began stroking my chest. I suppose my new physique wasn't going to be a surprise. The weekend chores became almost enjoyable because we were doing them together.

As good as the weekend was, the following week was even better. On Monday, out of the blue, I got a message from the Il Farinese restaurant around the corner from Ingrid's office. It was the most exclusive restaurant for miles and people were booking for tables months in advance. I knew full well that Ingrid was desperate to eat there. She loved all things Italian and the restaurant had managed to get two Michelin stars but the menu came with a price to go with those Michelin stars.

The restaurant got in touch because it needed some financial advice. In the blogging world, there is an I scratch your back and you scratch mine culture and they were asking what I wanted in exchange so obviously said I wanted a table for two for that week. The message back was that they apologised and said they could only do Thursday lunchtime at 1pm. Thursday lunchtime at 1pm? What did I care? Hell yeah, Thursday lunchtime at 1pm would be perfect. Fuck you Will! Beat that!

That evening, as we cleared up, I broke the news to Ingrid,

"Are you free to have lunch with me on Thursday?" I asked kind of nonchalantly.

"I'm sorry, I think I won't have time. I'm very busy at the moment," she told me almost guiltily. Busy my ass, you were going to have lunch with Will.

"Oh," I said sounding disappointed. "I have managed to get a table at Il Farinese."

"Very funny, Jack!" she said irritably, unsurprisingly not believing me.

"It's true! They came to me for some financial advice and they offered a free meal there in return."

Ingrid looked at me long and hard before turning away and supporting herself on the counter, her emotions getting the better of her, "Jack, I'm not in the mood for games! I am under a lot of stress at the moment. I just can't cope with any more stupidity!" I assumed she was talking about having a husband trying to win her back and a boyfriend who was complaining that she wasn't spending enough time with him.

I looked at her in wide-eyed shock. I had no idea how torn she was. She must be suffering from so much indecision that she was wound up so tight that she was ready to burst.

"Look," I told her and I took my phone out of my pocket with the confirmation.

Her face went from anger to disbelief in under a second, "How?" was all she could say.

"Like I said they came to me for some financial advice and I asked for a meal there in return. Do you want me to cancel?"

"No!" she said quickly. "I'll move a few things around," her face was full of conflicted emotions. She bit her lip for a moment before pulling my head down for a kiss. Our mouths parted and our tongues touched for the first time since I could remember. "Thank you," Ingrid whispered breathlessly as our lips parted and she held me in an embrace. I could feel her body tremble as she tried to control her emotions. "I'm sorry," she apologised, "I should have said yes straight away. You've been trying so hard recently for me. I need to make more time for you."

Hearing those words, it was my turn to become emotional. For the first time, she had shown real appreciation toward me. Oh god! I had to tell her I knew about Will that week.

The other thing that happened the following day was that I decided to check my income from my blog and videos. I worked hard on my SEO (Search Engine Optimization) and my blog moved up the rankings. This meant I ranked high on Google and YouTube. The advertising revenue I was getting increased significantly. I was now earning decent money, even if it was not spectacular. However, it meant I was able to contribute more to the household which I have to say go gave me an increased sense of self-worth as I no longer felt like I was sponging off Ingrid.

Thursday arrived and I made the decision to surprise Ingrid at her office just before 1pm to take her to the restaurant. I really wasn't sure it was a good idea. There was obviously a high probability I would meet Will. Well, he would see me. He would know what I look like from my blog and videos, if he read and watched them. I had no idea what he looked like.

Il Farinese was a swanky place so dusted off my old suit and put it on. I was relieved I had lost enough weight so that it fitted again but it was still a little tight around the waist so it had to do. Looking at myself in the mirror it felt like I had gone back in time. Back to my office days, days that were so unfulfilling, days I swore I would never go back to.

I walked into the building where Ingrid worked and approached the reception desk,

"Hi, I'm here to see Ingrid Cooper," I asked the bored looking reception. The receptionist was in her late twenties with blond hair tied up professionally. She was wearing a light blue suit uniform that matched her blue eyes.

"Certainly sir and who shall I -," she looked up and looked at me properly. "Oh my god! You're the guy from the YouTube videos! Ingrid's your wife!?" she asked excitedly.

"Yeah," I replied bashfully, "Ingrid's my wife."

"One moment, I'll give her a call and let you know you're here," and she entered Ingrid's name into her computer and put on her headset. "Hello, Mrs Cooper, your husband is here in reception," a look of surprise crossed the receptionist's face before she returned to look at me. "You sure did surprise her. She'll be down in a minute."

I started to talk to the receptionist and it soon turned into flirting. She was pretty, although not my type but it was fun. I hadn't flirted with anyone since before I met Ingrid and I think it showed that I was a little out of practice. According to the receptionist, whose name was Rebecca, I was a minor celebrity in the office especially with the women but I couldn't think why but as some of the women shuffled out for their lunch break there were several whispers of, "Is that him from the videos, it is isn't," and "I heard Ingrid Cooper is his wife." I then heard "If I had a husband like I wouldn't cheat on him," it should have boosted my ego but it felt like a punch in the gut. It rammed home what Ingrid had been doing.

Suddenly I felt tension in the reception area and the receptionist stopped talking and looked awkwardly to her left. I followed her gaze toward a group of guys who were looking straight at me as they walked by except for one. He looked completely pale and frightened. Hell of a way to give yourself away.

So, this was Will. God, he was young. He must have been five, six, or more years younger than Ingrid, no wonder their relationship was so one-sided.

My attention toward Will was distracted when I heard the ping of the lift and there was a sharp intake of breath all around me as Ingrid appeared. Her eyes-widened in alarm as she saw me and Will just a few feet apart. Will saw Ingrid and hurried out of the door and into the street.

"Jack, what are you doing here?" Ingrid asked who decided to brazen it all out.

"I came to surprise you," I told her.

"I hope you weren't waiting too long," she smiled giving me a deep kiss on the lips. "Look at you, all dressed up! Did you do that for me?" she asked straightening up my tie.

"Yeah, I thought I would make an effort for once," I told her taking her in for an embrace. "Rebecca has been keeping me entertained."

"Has she now?" Ingrid said with her voice hardening, her eyes looking venomously at Rebecca. Seriously? My wife was having a fling with a younger man and she was acting jealous after I mildly flirted with the receptionist. "We should get going before we miss our booking," and she took my arm and possessively led me out of the building.

We arrived at the restaurant and when I gave my name there was mild pandemonium amongst the staff until the owner, Mr Farina, walked over. He had silver hair and olive skin. He looked like a stereotypical old Italian lothario.

"Mr Cooper!" he said warmly in a strong Italian accent, taking my hand and shaking it warmly. "It is so good to see you!"

"Nice to see you too Mr Farina," I said with a bewildered smile while wondering when he was going to stop shaking my hand. "This is my wife, Ingrid."