All Comments on 'One For the Road Ch. 03'

the one difference is the substance, TK U MLJ LV NV

He asks for comments but deleted the ones he dislikes. He gives us his life story at the beginning of each chapter and then comments on his own stories, admitting they are brilliant beyond belief.

The story seems to be in the wrong category. So far it has been about a not too intelligent drunk in painstaking detail. Not sure what category that would be.

With all the cuck stuff surfacing lately, this is like a breath of fresh air. Vanadorn is a very good author who can make the reader feel like they are right there in the stories with the characters lingering in the background as a welcomed voyeur.

It takes a lot of talent to write anything that's close to a story. Some of you Annon idiots (this and other stories) should try just once to write something coherent and see how far you get.

So, read the story and enjoy it. Feel the raw emotion, the sorrow, the happiness, and try to get something out of it. That's why we read. Yea, get some jollies, get pissed off, get sick, get something, but have a little respect for someone who takes time to write something this good. It's not easy.

Thanks Vanadorn, you are destined to be one of the great writers on this site. There are so few left, and it seems like most new writers who come on are just horrible (me and her – get real). So, to you idiots who complain about a really good story, go jerk off to your cuck stories and leave the rest of us who actually have an IQ over 10 to enjoy our reading in peace.

Ignore the wannabe-cucks, they only want read about whores. Oh, and the BTB crowd, if your Myra character even speaks to another man, that is grounds for divorce...

Keep on doing what you're doing because it is a breath of fresh air.

Kudos EngineCo1. I Feel the exact same way. Awesome to get a story that has substance and a more in depth look at the characters.

Try learning what the words mean, and their correct spelling, before using them

You "waive" the rights to an attorney, not "wave".

It's "former and latter", not "former and letter".

The story feels less lengthy with each passing chapter. Again ignore the non constructive criticism. Keep it up! You are fast becoming my favorite author here!

Maybe in the wrong category but it's still good. Let's see how he goes.

Good story, hard to read at times as you try to get under the skin of an alcoholic and his deluded view of the rest of the world around him. I worked with a guy for a while who was an alcoholic, AA meetings and the whole scene. He tried to explain the feeling of taking the first drink of the day, how his nerve ends tingled like little electric shocks and how it felt better than anything else, even sex. He told me that a person who is not an alcoholic can never understand just what it is like unless they have actually been there up close and personal. He said that to a normal person, a drink just tastes and feels good, to him it was like the best thing ever and there was never just one. He would go into his favorite bar and find out that he had been banned and could not even remember being there when he got thrown out.

Why is this nude Loving Wives? Should be in Non-erotic.

dictionary, get a life if you are looking for hemmingway move on, with all the sick crap on this site why pick on this one story.

Half assed and dumbass authors. This is not one of them! The characters are flawed and with a realism not usually reserved for an erotic story site.

I hope that he changes, that he can become the man he should be, not the joke that he is. But if not, life is like that sometimes.

Keep them coming

This POS isn't near the bottom. He is on a ledge down the well and has no idea how much farther he can sink. He has money, he has clothes, he has his Charger, he has friends.

So I can look at another chapter slowly stripping THAT away from him as well.

The writing is excellent, something I would aspire too. But this is 'novel' style writing. In fact, why isn't in the novella category? I can answer that: because there isn't the same size audience there.

Well, at least he has a $30,000 piece of shit muscle car in which to sleep - at least until he drinks that up too.

This is a riveting story. It could be a novella or non-erotic but it fits here as well, at least the way this category used to be. Myra is a loving wife and mother. There is cheating gong on and Jimmy is doing it. His drinking is depriving him of his family and his family of him just as much as any adultery.

This is probably the most widely read category on this site - and it probably has the most difficult audience. Considering the recent run of "I love to watch my wife get porked by anything with a dick" authors who can barely string four consecutive words together, this is like a breath of fresh air.

For those who don't like it, you would think that by the time they reach chapter 3, they might have come to the conclusion that this submission isn't for them and looked elsewhere for free entertainment. But then, that makes the assumption they have an IQ above room temperature.

Loose loose for every one connected with a person addicted to drugs or alcohol , he destroyed his home and family , only for that drink he needed. Now his life is all downhill will he find himself and the answers to his addiction or will he just fall future down to hell and homelessness.

Thanks to everyone for their votes and comments. I appreciate them very much. The story will be 5 chapters, chapter 4 is about 70% finished at this time and I should post it Sunday (I don't write much on the weekends, but should be able to do enough to finish 4).

This is a Loving Wives story, although the extra-martial part doesn't hit until next chapter 4. I have a lot of respect for this category and some of the best work I've read on this site is located here. It's not possible to please all the different camps that make up the LW genre and I don't pretend to. Someone did mention it below though that Jimmy is having an extra-marital affair of sorts with his drinking - and with an Alcoholic, that is very true (Again, someone below mentioned how much pleasure an alcoholic gets from drinking)

As for my stories, it pay more homage to the "Liter-"ature portion of the Literotica so if you haven't noticed by now, although there is sex in my tales, if you are looking for good masturbation material, you might want to look elsewhere.

Once more, thanks again.

-V

ch1:he's a loser

ch2: he's STILL a loser...

ch3 life & times of the loser of all losers.

I'm getting BOTH bored AND depressed....

'nuff said.

she fucks him over, his father is one pair of panties short of being a bitch and his lawyer is a fucking moron. The whore has everything, so how can he give her anything. Nothing from nothing leaves nothing, you fucking idiots. The husband is only a loser because "Vana" dorn is a man hating bitch herself. Please stop, this is why we have writers like SS06, Irondragon, cantbuymy, huedogg2 and fucking beerman. All this cuckold lover, man hating, superwoman shit is just fucking that "SHIT". This is the kind of shit Matt Monroe writes. The woman is a superwoman but the man is one step above an earthworm. It's so fucked up that he's an alcoholic and everybody wants to turn him away and every other one of your stories, the wife can be drugged or a druggie and some how it's because the husband didn't do something. You fucking suck as a fucking writer. Bring back the real BTB writers fuck all the pussy ass shit.

I don't care if this is the right category or not. I don't care if you misspell a word or 3. I don't care if no whore wife is getting fucked with her husband cheering on.

You are doing a great job of showing what happens in the real world. We all know someone like James, and you are forcing us to acknowledge it.

What's just as bad, is the people who can only gripe about your writing style. Well, this is Literotica. Were they really expecting Poe, Maughn, or maybe Janet Daily?

I get the realism. I got it in your last piece. I get it that you are a very good writer. What I do not get is why would you write this? Why would I read it? It is not erotic, it is not really about the loving relationship between a husband and wife. It is about an alcoholic. I don't care if his wife cheats on him. He is a fuck up. I have intimate knowledge of alcoholics and other substance abusers. I no longer care why they do what they do, or whether they can help it or not. The bottom line is: that is their problem to solve, or not solve. I do know enough to stay the hell away from them, they are destructive and will drag you down. This story has done nothing but drag the reader down, with little hope of ever lifting the reader back up to a level that would make reading this a worthwhile experience. I am sorry to break it to you, addicts are shitty, selfish people and given the number of other people in the world, they are not worth your time putting up with them or writing about them, or reading about them. (I left this Un-scored out of respect for your intelligence and ability.)

Holidays are the toughest time for recovering alcoholics. Leaving him alone on Christmas was an invitation to disaster. Until he hits bottom it won't stop.

The author is writing about a family in the turmoil of alcoholism. While I like BTB stories most, this is a fine piece of writing. The author already stated this is what he knows and is writing about it. Yes, its a bit depressing and gut wrenching but it pulls at the emotions and begs for a redemptive finish. The author pulls from family violence and cultural phychology. A good tale and am looking forward to the finish.

reading such negative, depressing, and dark material.

So, rather than put myself through another bout of self abuse watching him sink to the bottom, I am moving on.

Perhaps I will find something that will brighten my mood and bring a smile back to my face and mood.

That's why I hate btb stories. They seem to just draw the most psychotic people on this site. Good god man go see a therapist. If you are bitter or something cause you got cheated on or dumped... well from what I've seen of your personality I'm prowife ya pissed off closet cuck.

you seem to capture the mindset of an drunk and how it can play on your mind. he needs to realize that it is controlling him to do things and not him controlling it. until he hits his own bottom he will never get over it.

And giving five stars. But this is so damned depressing. I read for enjoyment, not torture. I suppose I have faith that you will not let this end on the same dismal path.

Long winded, you just keep going on and on and on. And speaking from personal experience as a child my dad was an alcoholic and it took mum taking us and leaving him, and you know what he did it, he got off the booze, but clearly this asshole doesn't give a shit about his family and I'm done with this boring writers essays.

as a story thus is great but jimmy's parents are enablers. How could they keep that much booze in the house?

Around here, we're surrounded with meth heads and drunks, on and off the streets. It's summer now, and I see kids looking under 18 on the road - to self destruction. Hard to keep caring or even working toward changing the underlying social ills that fuel the problems.

I am hopeful that Jimmy will wrap his car around a tree in chapter 4 and become a box of ashes.

You've got it wrong again.

I getting tired of your stupidity.

Great story. 5*

This:

"Hopeful

I am hopeful that Jimmy will wrap his car around a tree in chapter 4 and become a box of ashes."

There isn't much that hits me but when I read this, I had a real life Laugh Out Loud moment. Four hours later, I'm scanning my comments again and working on Ch 4 and saw this again and again laughed.

Thanks man, god damned funny.

-V

And already panned by HIV! It looks like you have made the big time.

I may not like the lead character, but his behavior and thoughts ring true. The story is well put together and although it is dreary, I remain interested in how it will conclude.

Ok, submitted 4th Chapter. At the speed it's been going, should be live Wednesday, 7/2. Going to start on the final, 5th chapter tonight.

Thanks again to everyone.

-V

bye 2 star

unless they have developed that taste for Shit. TK U MLJ LV NV

I gave you 3*s for encouragement. But I am not reading this anymore.

I stopped at 2 pages.

If I wanted this kind of reality I could walk to the courthouse or turn on cable.

Your talent gives me hope for your next story, maybe it will include some fantasy!!

AMerryMan

He is still spiraling down. Well written. Five stars. Just wondering about the cheating tag. I want to start to see a turn in this story, but if there is more trouble in store for Jimmy, you will need to have more than five chapters. Again, I'm hoping for an ending involving redemption. If this is just one of those stories about how life sometimes doesn't have a happy ending, then kill me now!

Ouch- The bottom (I hope). What a shit of a husband- gets a severance check and never once thinks to send it to the family? There are places in hell for people like that. Hitting your father is a big deal. My older brother got into it with my dad when we were in high school, and I had to pull him off. My brother called home later after running out, crying and apologizing, and it's an incident that I keep dredging up even 40 years later. I hope things start to get better; I can't take too much more sadness. My wife likes to read tragedies, but I may sucker for a positive ending. Good writing once again.

They try to be optimistic and say there is no where to go but up, buy usually end up in the garbage disposal unit.. Jimmy is not an attractive character but one cannot help put keep hoping that he will do something right.

The enabler.

You will never beat alcohol unless you admit you are an alcoholic.

Sounds like the voice of experience. Well done.

Just like a drunk he blames everything on everyone but his self.

I grew up with my dad and two uncles that were drunks, then my wifes brother joined the ranks.

I was lucky I found out out that I was a drunk when I was 16 or 17 and saw what it ad done to my family and I knew I could join them or stay away from it, I have not had a drink from that day.

You wrote: (((were going to drag me back to the cross and make me vote Republican.))) Hey, you Liberal smartass “it’s not my fault” weakling, if you were a Republican, you’d probably have enough common sense to not let yourself get hooked on ANYthing or be controlled by ANYone. You’d be intelligent and responsible enough to RECOGNIZE and avoid SELF-DESTRUCTIVE STUPITITY. The Cross and Religion have nothing to do with what’s going on in this story so pick up a wire brush and use it to fuck yourself.

I took one star away because of your Liberal horseshit. Insult ME and readers like me?? All you've done is prove your stupidity. You're lucky that I didn't give you just TWO stars, you ignorant fuck.

myra committed battery against jimmy whereas jimmy was just defending himself in the previous chapter

that said i'm not condoning his obvious drinking problem

Man, this is painful to read, but very real for anyone who's had an alcoholic in their lives.