One Great Word

In truth, I'm not sure if there is a suitable home for this, so without shame I've put it in LW for maximum exposure. If this grinds your gears - tough shit. I don't care. If the powers that be want it elsewhere that is their right.

The night I found out was at a works outing for a dinner, I don't know why I did it, I had a few drinks but I certainly wasn't drunk but work it did. What did? Read on.

I was a bit of a joker and mostly I got a free pass when maybe others would be pulled up for loose talk like this, let's be honest, inappropriate talk. My end of the large table was mostly populated by the younger mainly single crowd, thing was I wasn't single, neither was I that young but I was, it seemed, everyone's friend, I had no enemies in the workplace, not even a sign of hostility from any of the guys, even when I was supervising their efforts. I thought I was pretty easy to work with and for, although I wasn't one of the big bosses.

We were a medium sized insurance office, 18 of us in total, 5 or 6 married, including me. I'm Gerry, Gerry Mandering, yes, I know, my father thought it was funny!

Now in my thirties I've long since found it an old joke, a very old very tired joke. I have a wife and two teenage kids. Since our second reached double figures our sex life has stalled. When I say stalled, imagine a WWII story and a plane hit by enemy fire, it goes into a tailspin, smoke billowing from all over and it heads to the ground at frightening speed. So yeah, like that plane my sex life was going down in flames, twice a month if I was lucky and me a horny bastard in his late thirties.

I'll be honest, I wasn't whiter than white but I hadn't really had an affair of an real consequence or long term. I had had a few dalliances, mainly with coworkers but not all properly consummated, some merely a bit of kissing and groping, some oral, either or both ways but one previous dalliance 6 years previously where I had fucked a beauty who was a really horny girl who seemed attracted to me. Indeed and to my surprise at the time it was her who came on to me, one day when were in a storeroom she asked if I thought her tits were getting any bigger.

Well, as they say, I was born at night, but it wasn't last night and if ever there was an invitation to check her tits out, that was it. We flirted a while around things over the next few days and then managed to 'work late' together a couple of times, the first time I ate her cunt and told her she was delicious, "the tastiest cunt I've ever eaten". You see, I'm a smooth talker, right?!!! Anyway, she enjoyed my tongue but then asked nicely for my cock and who am I to turn down a lady in need. She was a good if unspectacular fuck. She was about 15 years younger than me, just 18 at the time and seemed like she should have been wearing L plates. What she lacked in skills, she made up for it in enthusiasm but I ended things after going back to that well three times.

I knew the danger to my marriage that an ongoing affair would bring in a small city so managed to restrain my wishes to fuck Patricia blind and the truth is, while I may be a bastard, truly I do love my wife and kids. I just found it hard to turn down something that good offered on a plate, no effort required, I couldn't believe my luck. That was the only time there was ever anything other than a one-off.

So, "inappropriate talk", yeah, that happened maybe another 5 years later after Patricia.

Apropos of nothing I announced to the largely inebriated table of colleagues, "my favourite word is cunt". One or two laughed, a few smirked waiting for the punchline, a couple looked away and tutted, one single lady of mature vintage looked as if someone had farted in her soup, her nose and mouth quivering in distain.

It was the very sexy 22 year-old Claire who asked the perfect "straight man" question. "What do you like so much about cunt?"

There was something of relish in the way she pronounced 'cunt' and the fact that she didn't say 'about the word cunt' just, 'about cunt', as if she was shared my favourite word and the smiling, half smirk on her face said a lot.

It was as if Christmas and my birthday had aligned, the best-looking woman at the table asking me what I liked about cunt. Claire was partly of native American descent, her colouring was remarkably attractive, with her dark brown eyes and deep brown, verging on black hair, her pretty features a smorgasbord of the various backgrounds of her antecedents from cultures as diverse as blonde Scandinavians, Native Americans, allied to some Scottish & Irish roots.

Apart from her looks, I knew she had traits there of Scandi bluntness, Native American forthrightness, Scottish bleak & blunt humour and a smattering of Irish charm.

Without once taking my eyes from hers, and thinking to open with a light-hearted example, I said, "Well Claire, there are so many things I like about cunt. First and foremost, it is my very favourite thing to eat, nothing like a tasty wet cunt to eat." She got a twinkle in her eyes, maintained contact with her smiling eyes and asked what else I loved about cunt.

"Well, you know James who works in our rivals office three doors down the High Steet? Cunt is a perfect descriptor for that tubby little smug... cunt. So, you see there is the classic illustration of diverse nature of a wonderfully useful word, something equally useful for describing one of life's great pleasures and also perfectly describing a horrible bastard whose face you'd never tire of punching, given half a chance and a reasonably lawful excuse.

"Anything else you like about cunt?" Claire persisted with an increasingly encouraging smile. She was enjoying the conversation as much as I was. Breaking eye contact briefly, I noticed most of the rest of the table were paying rapt attention too, even those who had looked appalled were now enthralled.

"Well of course being a horny male who doesn't get nearly enough sex, I love to sink my big cock into a cunt, but there is so much more, I love the smell of cunt, the feel of it when its hot and wet, the whole sexual thing. Sometimes Claire I'm so jealous of someone like you."

"And why would that be?" Claire said with the broadest smirk, encouraging me to go further.

"Because Claire, I suspect that you have a very beautiful cunt, one that I'd never tire of pleasing, so I'm jealous because I think that if I'm right and your cunt is as beautiful as I suspect that if I were you I'd never leave the house in the morning, I'd be too busy pleasuring my cunt, morning, noon and night."

Claire and several more at the table threw back their heads and roared with laughter.

And that was the end of that discussion, so what had I discovered?

Well, not all that much - yet, but there was more to come.

After that there remained a quietly sexual frisson about the chat around the table and when we'd all had a few more drinks and the restaurant manager was looking to close up for the night without alienating us by barking at us to leave, Claire, John and I were heading in the same direction so shared a taxi.

I would have been first to drop off but it was Claire who said, "do you guys want to come to my place to a nightcap? My roommate Alyson is away for the weekend, so we won't be disturbing anyone."

That's what we did. In truth none of use needed any more drink but I didn't want to call it a night, something in my exchange with Claire earlier made me want to stick around.

Claire opened 3 beers but soon John had lain down, stretched out on the floor and had fallen asleep, snoring gently. It wasn't loud enough nor irritating enough for me to want to shake him awake. Claire and I sipped beer and chatted but tiredness was taking over.......next thing I knew I woke up on the couch with Claire half slumped over me, her head resting on my chest but her left hand was cupping my cock and balls through my jeans.

It took me a little while to come fully awake and realise where I was and that the hand on my cock was not my wife Julie's. Claire was breathing deeply, it was hard to know if she was awake or asleep but I thought well if she has grabbing my cock I may as well check her out.

I took hold of her left tit, gently but enough to grab her attention if she was sleeping lightly. I rolled it around and felt it was imprisoned in quite a light filmy bra. She started to move, raised her head from my chest and looked at me without giving me any clues if my attention to her tit was welcome or not. Then she smiled and without removing her hand from my cock, turned on her back but now laying across my lap with her head not far from my cock which was getting harder by the minute.

I moved my hand down and then up under her blouse and explored the silky bra moving it aside and finding a very long full nipple. I'd never felt one as prominent, it was a good half inch proud of her chest and firm. No question she was enjoying having her tits felt up. I freed the other and spend a few minutes playing with both nipples and weighing the fullness of her breasts. They weren't huge but they were a very satisfying handful.

Claire seemed to be enjoying things but I'd never so much as patted her ass previously so was unsure if she'd welcome me dropping my hand lower down her torso. She seemed hot and pulled my face down for a kiss, not a soft lovers kiss, a pretty urgent wet kiss with plenty of tongue and promise.

Breaking the kiss she said, "After all your talk tonight, I hope you aren't going to leave me with an unsatisfied cunt. I think we can agree that a beautiful cunt like mine deserves better than that. Would you like to check out if it's as beautiful as you suspected?"

Birthday, Christmas and New Year rolled into one. RESULT!!! Claire wants me to please her cunt.

Well, before long I'd discovered that her panties matched the sexy silky purple bra and when I put my hand in there, well, in all honesty I felt a lovely hairy cunt and I had never ever felt one as wet and creamy as Claire's, she was ripe for fucking, horny as hell and primed for cock.

I had fingered her for 4 or 5 minutes when she again broke our kiss and said, "Well, do you like that cunt? Want to fuck it?" I thought 'is the pope a catholic?' of course I want to fuck it, but out of my mouth came "yes please."

So now you know what I discovered. Some girls get really turned on by a bit of inappropriate language and "that word". Claire's wet and sticky cunt was proof of that.

She said, "I assume you have a condom? I'm not protected."

I shrugged my shoulders and said, "Claire, you know I'm married I can't walk around carrying condoms, I haven't fucked anyone but Julie in years and I'd no expectation that you of all people would fuck me tonight, even after the chat at the table it never occurred to me to buy a packet in the gents, sorry."

"Yeah, ok, maybe it's for the best, anyway this was only ever going to be a one and done deal, your talk of cunt got my juices flowing tonight but I don't usually mess about with married men so it won't happen again, but before I send you home, are you any good with your tongue?"

I have to tell you that when I told Patricia that she had the tastiest cunt I'd ever gone down on, it wasn't bullshit, she was delicious but compared to Claire? No contest. Yeah the Pope is a Catholic and I'm fucking great with my tongue - ask Claire if you don't believe me.

It is several decades since this happened, I've never forgotten and I've never again tasted a more fantastic CUNT than Claire's, I could have rubbed my face in that fucker for a week. And years later, no I don't regret that I didn't fuck her. I was never caught on any infidelities by my wife, Claire and her delicious cunt was the final time I betrayed my wife in any way.

Patricia? I never heard from or of her again after a couple of years of our dalliance, but I hope she's happy. Claire, well it's been a long time, I do know she married a guy who came from a wealthy family, last I heard she had three children, I hope she and her beautiful cunt are happy.

And me, yes I was a bastard, maybe you think I still am, I could care less, but I do know that after 38 years of a happy marriage and two happy children now settled in their own lives, I'm glad that I didn't fuck up my family.

Finally, I grew up and took my responsibilities... but I still remember how good Claire's cunt tasted.