All Comments on 'One Hot Weekend'

Not bad, but a bit of editing would help. This was placed in the Mature section. However, I couldn't tell who was the older lover, and who was the younger. I am going to assume the male was the older of the two. Did you say so somewhere and I missed it?<br><br>

A few times, you switched back and forth, from 'him' to 'you', as in these next sentences:<br><br>

<i>I took one last second to tease him as I swirled my hips around. I could not take the torture any longer, I had to have you inside me. I quickly lowered myself onto your engorged, throbbing cock. After grinding on his pole I had to add the bullet to my clit.</i><br><br>

I didn't get much passion out of this story. However, not every erotic story has passion. Some are just straight up sex, and that is what this was. But it felt a little bland. Maybe with some more build up, and perhaps even some sketchy info on the main players, it would add a little more interest to the story.

It was good, but it could have been better if you provided some background to the characters in the story. I had no idea who was the mature character.

This was an o.k. story. You changed verb tenses at the end which was confusing and I'm not sure why it's in the mature section. More character development would have made this story better but it was fairly well written.