All Comments on 'One in Ten Ch. 09'

Bwahahaa. How perfect

One of the best on lit....

Strange reading this here after so many times before. After seeying this in parts before i definately feel that seeing work parts takes away some fun from reading this here.

Still i think that the ending is not what it was supposed to be, speeding plot takes its toll here :). Definately feel lack of Angel in whole chapter ...

The dream about that fall is still somewhat alive.

Waiting on the next supposed to be more emotional chapter :)

I am serious, the author needs to expand this work and self publish the book on amazon, etc.

It is that good.

I also would like to see this published, but not the self-publishing crap because the few e-books I've seen done that way were craptacular editing failures and annoying to read because of that. I want to own a paper copy and read it out loud to my sweetie in bed.

I like the way this author and this protagonist take the time to personalize interactions and transform the surface level perceptions into real beings. Loved it last chapter with Flame/Brigit and loved it even more with Venus. Very mythical, and I heartily recommend that anyone reading this also take the time to read "Hero with 1000 faces" by Joseph Campbell - then come back and re-read One in Ten again.

So glad you are continuing this work. * * * * *

I'm at 19,500 words into Chapter 10. It has been a bit more difficult this time - depression is a bitch. There is a lot more Angel-Israel in this chapter. As the group coalesces, Angel's dominant personality asserts itself and that is something Israel has to cope with.

I have to retract an earlier statement: this is becoming somewhat of a Harem Story; hopefully not a standard one.

Finally, the chapter's title is: Israel and the last Real Man on Earth.

I think a harem-theme is quite acceptable for most who followed this story and the setting surely isn't a standard one :) Can't wait for the next chapter and I'm wondering if/when we meet Israels former GFs mother again.

Need next chapter the story is awesome, I don't mind him having a harem

This story is like crack to me when will the next fix will be up.

AAARGH!!! cant wait for more!!!!!! *mindless zombie* more!

love the story, cant wait for the next part

Love this story! When, or how many times does he have to outwit, before all start remembering 'Top of His Class'! Seriously great story and I am waiting on every instalment. You are one of my favorite authors I follow most of your story lines. Thank you. Please continue.

FS, You make insanity fashionable. :) Seriously, this is one messed up, convoluted, fun, and ingenious story. I'm loving it.

fs, you rock.

it's a great story, and more important it's told in a great way.

looking forward for chapter 10

The only thing worse than a babbling nutjob author is a babbling nutjob author who leaves us hanging in suspense on a regular basis.

Loving this series.

look how he outsmarted the president...kudos to Israel....waiting for more....

Just when I think I can't be more amazed by such a story.....I get hit by this chapter. XD

The teasing cliffhangers that the writer and editor(s) are fantastic at, keep me on the edge of my seat and twirling my fingers for more like a whore on crack or a child waiting for an expected ice cream cone.....

Keep up the phenomenal work!

I'll be waiting on the next chapter...and maybe 15 more ;P

@Methusalem I think we could see more of Deliah Freemont, I mean you could argue she's one of Israel's main antagonists. I don't know how far she could have got involved but i wouldn't put it past her to use her Bethany as a "honeytrap." The way i see it Deliah probaby is alumi in the same sorrority as Bethany took Israel to so long ago I just have to think it wouldn't take much to get Bethany's sorroity sisters to nudge Bethany to bring Israel over. The reason she didn't include bethany is because deliah couldn't risk bethany blabbing to israel.

Considering that it would set up a bloody perfect experiment to see if carabolix-37 worked or not.

I also think tracking down deliah isn't out of the question either. Because i just have to figure Deliah is loading up that Globemaster with the right scientific necessities to do small scale production of carabolix-37. Then theres the little bit of information involving troy berry hacking bethany freemont's files..

Since mostly a harem story is "I get to have sex with all these folks" and Israel is more in the position of "Holy crap I'm morally obligated to share myself sexually and emotionally with all these folks". The obligatory workouts do make it slightly realistic that he could do all this (for the moment) but as is pointed out numerous times in this work - that's a LOT of energy expenditure if done well. I would suspect that most actual harems - it's not done well.

Actually this reminds me of a discussion I had years ago with folks from various cultures (including several Somali who were also Muslim). The Muslim folks came from cultures where there was female circumcision and didn't really have a conception of how female sexuality and desire worked. In a way it was sad - there was no possibility of being desired by one's (female) mate and answering/uniting in the place of that desire. Like a giant cultural (?) blind spot. About half the table were 'wow, you are missing out' and the other half were 'that doesn't even make sense'. It was a very interesting set of cultural differences.

I really enjoy the way you are bringing in 2nd, 3rd and 4th order effects into this story. The use of unintended consequences is often overlooked and you have done a very nice job of using it here. It lends a very welcome depth to the story that isn't often seen on this site.

I like a lot of authors I haven't found many that I enjoy nearly as much as you.

Many are the wonders of mankind, but few are so great as the unbridled imagination.

Please keep writing. I assure you, I will keep reading!

Given how many times Israel has had unprotected sex lately, it seems very plausible that some of the girls should've gotten pregnant by now. I just wonder which ones will get pregnant...

Really felt the lack of Angel in this one. I hope to see more of her in the future chapters!

Keep up the great work FS!! I know depression is a bitch, but if you're at the bottom, there's no place to go but up! Sky's the limit for some, but the moon is still out there! Go get it!!

but I have to put in my two cents - because when a person is "at the bottom" because of depression, the often most seductive way (depending on the person sometimes the only direction they can conceive) to go is down. And never come back out.

I'm really glad this story addresses the terrifying permanence of the damage that abuse does. People may be reading it and thinking that it's exaggerated for story purposes. No. It's really not.

What doesn't kill you scars you, and that changes you. And you don't change back. Israel is a wonderful, and sometimes freaky portrayal of someone doing their best to own and work with the changes and the problems (both internal and external, both personal and cultural) and the damage and the fallout. In some ways I think this story should be required reading for an ethics class or for that matter a class on sexuality or a training for professionals who care for survivors of abuse.

I think that a perfectly conceivable and potentially reasonable ending would be Israel killing himself. I hope he doesn't. I don't want him to - but I can see the potential there in his fear of the very people who love him. Abuse breaks down personal barriers and so he is hypersensitive to the energy coming towards him from the ladies who love him. But he perceives it first as 'something coming at me' and only secondarily as 'something that could be nice'.

Think about what it would be like to go through life feeling it strongly every time someone looked at you. Then think of him curled up in a ball in the corner of his room, wishing for a parka.

I'd really like to see Angel kick some ass in terms of getting him some space in his own space.

First let me say this... You have totally stunned me again.. your story keeps getting better. I wish i could put into words what i feel as i read this as well as you can.. I for one know the darkness of depression, the sadness of helplessness, and the thrill of the fight when you coming out of it.. I am bipolar... and it REALLY PISSES me off when someone who has no clue about depression. ..Make the statement " You have no where to up but up " You are a fucking moron. Sorry for the rant.. but your story got ryled up...

Your stories are all so great, and this one is the best. You've obviously sweated blood doing this storyline. Each one has to have been literally torture to write, because I can see Israel's pain. His unending pain. It is so very sad, but he may be going beyond it, with the help of a number of wonderful ladies.

Where is Angel? Has she been arrested? Or "Disappeared?"

Chapter 10 is finished, barring some edits; a mere 21,317 words. My editor, having a real life and such, will get it back to me when she can, then I'll submit it. Now on to Chapter 11 (no title yet).

Something was sticking in my head about that and I finally figured out what it was. I understand the original purpose of this story was to examine some social crap by turning it on it's head. So yes, Israel is smart, but he's a guy so no one retains it for long.

Think about a really smart, very blond, attractive, big-boobed woman in this culture. There is no amount of repetitions of "top of the class" that is ever going to get her seen as anything more than "Big Breasted Blonde". Ever.

I recall being surprised when I heard an old interview with Marilyn Monroe where she talks about wanting more serious parts and more demanding acting roles. I was surprised. Then I was embarrassed that I was surprised.

I understand your intent, your anger and your rant (believe me I do), but please give folks that haven't got lots of experience with depression (or bi polar) some slack.

I remember my mother explaining at length about adhd to my principle (for my benefit), and after this long really informed talk he turns to her and says "well maybe if he just tries harder". I was literally bouncing off the walls hyper active and couldn't control myself and his response was "try harder". So frustrating. I just wanted to smack him. Not to mention that it made me feel like crap. Just suck it up and do better. Argh!

But the guy commenting wasn't being an ass, he was just trying to be encouraging. He isn't a moron, he's just someone that means well but doesn't have the experience and hasn't been educated in what its like to have depression.

I know its not your job to, but maybe educate rather then go nuclear. Then next time he'll know a bit more.

Just my two cents (not worth much in this economy) :)

Francis_Toliver

Hey FS how are you holding up last we head chapter 10 was hard to write. i am on my 4th read through of this chapter wonding when the next it due out... al word yet

I've read it through three times so far. can't wait for the next chapter. any update on when #10 is coming?

Ten was submitted to Literotica on Tuesday and is still in the Awaiting Approval status. Chapter 11 is at 3500 words, but at the moment I'm taking a mental health break and working on another story - dark humor - to get me ready for what is to come in One in Ten. This story has been emotionally draining to work on. I am also working on a side-story to One in Ten which covers the battle for Shanghai and the attempt to save the Mother and her Unborn Child from government forces.

I love this story so far. The way you can transition from serious to sexy to morose humor is amazing. Keep up the great work.

I almost....."almost" cried when I realized Dara Castelo must have been the girl he was seeing before he was kidnapped and then was to ashamed to face afterwards. But you're gonna have to do better than that, btw great story.

high tension and drama are building

This author keeps getting better at telling stories, following this section wasn't nearly as bad as the last couple. Excellent work 5 stars.