All Comments on 'One Last Lesson for The Emperor'

(Sorry for the weird format lol - it was supposed to be broken up into neat paragraphs, but it came out wrong the other end. Now that I submitted an edit with a word doc, I hope the formatting will be restored.)

This story ended in a suprising turn. I loved it. I wouldn't mind reading anymore of your stories if you publish any.

What did the emperor do? Why is he being executed? So many questions. So many answers wanted but not needed. So good. 10/5 will definately read again.

I thought overall this was a very delightful tale that you actually flipped the script on! To be more specific, it intrigued me how the soon-to-be-emperor called her master, when it should have been Ruthe calling him master. So you certainly switch the dynamic that way, and for him to be so open-minded to what she had to say, was very refreshing to read.

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I must say that you definitely drew the empress to be a very uncompromising woman- - which is exactly what I would have expected with a son under her charge. I thought it interesting you drew Ruthe as so uncompromising, perfectionistic, and even a bit cruel. It felt as if you made Ruthe and the empress as parallel figures, because they really were. The only difference was that while the empress was assumed to be an unsympathetic character, it may surprise some people that you drew Ruthe as being the way she was. Now the great thing is that you softened her in many ways, so it made her more appealing.. although she did seem to still have a bit of a vicious streak at least in her dreams. It was good that she learned some kind of humility at whatever level she did, and in that way, basically extended her employment in the Royal court.

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There were a few minor grammatical errors, somewhere in the neighborhood of four or five, but they are very minor and could have been easily corrected with a slightly more thorough reading. I felt the story flowed well, and how you largely developed it and drew it out seemed plausible and logical. I really like the way you humanized both sides. It was understandable that Ruthe should be actually far more likable, but the persona you drew her possessing worked for her character; likewise, the emperor was appropriate as you cast him, being willing and open-minded to the populace. Now, the only thing if there is a real weakness that I could find in this would have been what the sole other commenter stated, along the lines of the conclusion: that would have been to explain why for whatever reason he was being executed, along with his mother. I personally didn't feel like you rushed the ending, and found it kind of endearing that she indeed had a red-headed girl. The only thing I can see is perhaps readers wanted to know more to justify his beheading, because it's a big jump perhaps for some to say okay he was so open minded with Ruth and he treated her so well.. what happens to where the people would want to kill him? Also, while his mother would have still been in the castle, he would have ruled solely by himself. So perhaps some people were miffed by what did he try to do that made him so unpopular in just 10 years? So perhaps they indeed were hoping for some more development and more details to justify the populace executing him. I can certainly see that. I can also see that perhaps some readers were hoping the emperor would have called Ruth back and decided that she would be his wife. It's kind of understood that since it was his very first time.. that he would have his heart set on her, and therefore want to get her back somehow, possibly even leaving the castle on some kind of mysterious errant, and then showing up at her doorstep. The mother could have been removed in some way as well, because he could have grown into his own rule, basically telling his mom sorry, but it's time I do this on my own!

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I am actually evenly split on whether to rate this as a four or a five, because if I could rate it and halves I would actually say I would be very comfortable rating it 4.5. That would be because of the more I think about it, there needed to be something to bridge the gap between him assuming power and what led to him being hated enough to be executed.. because although during a revolution something like that could change radically, not having enough of a reason to hang your head on in this story still kind of feels like it needed to be there. However, in this case, I will round it up to a 5, because you certainly did what you set out to do; most everything in your story I felt was well developed; you had very good dialogue and interaction between the dance instructor and the emperor; she guided him in a very loving tender way; you created a story that certainly can draw a reader in very well, by providing the backstory on her rather than focusing so much on the emperor. So by all means.. please keep writing!