All Comments on 'One Man's Fantasy'

I'm wondering what life in the office will be like after this?

Matt may never have a bad day again

Pretty good writing that is unfortunately marred by more than a couple grammatical oopsies. For example, this sentence "They looked so smooth and creamy, and if he leaned a little closer he might cach a glimpse of aureole". Ouch. Unfortunate mental image since an aureole is a corona of light. So Amy's breasts have little electric lights implanted in them.

Another gaff is the switching from past tense to present tense near the end of the story. It clangs discordantly and makes you wonder if Matt is having a dream or an hallucination.

It's a stroke story so there's no plot, no conflict resolution. The character descriptions are modest and there's no character development. We don't know why Jen wanted have a threesome with Amy and her husband, other than a desire evidently to fulfil one of her hubby's fantasies. That's okay for a stroke story but it would've been even more erotic to explore how the characters felt. Maybe Amy secretly has a crush on Matt. Maybe Jen's bi-curious. Maybe Matt and Amy have been flirting seriously at work. Maybe Amy wants to find a couple that she can partner with long-term.

As a stroke story, it's good. The buildup to the sex scene is well done and the sex scene is hot, the sex wild and abandoned.

Excellent fiction this is not but it's pretty good fiction. I'd award a seventy-five but the problems in the prose detract too much. Here's a 50 for your effort and I thank you.

I liked the concept of the storyline and you had me stroking, but I agree with Alveron; too many grammer glitches and unexplained diviations from the basic plot. Get together with an editor.

"1*" .

Oh man, that was awful from every possible angle.