All Comments on 'One More Time'

I liked the feel of this story. The author used references that bring to mind a reneasance like time frame as a lavish background. I enjoyed the insight into the characters motivations and the sprinkling of courtly references and necromancy really added richness to the story.

The descriptions of wine, clothing, and scents help to create a memorable setting. I don't particularly like the Count, either, which makes reading the story from his perspective an odd experience. Full marks for originality.

I liked the overall story. I got a little bogged down in my own mind trying to work out if it was a fantasy, cyberpunk, Victorian or even Renaissance time frame I was looking at, perhaps that could have been clearer. Your characters, however, were wonderfully drawn and I enjoyed reading their dialogue both inner and outer.

Well done :)

I was told once, when writing my first stories and trying to be "serious" about it (at an age where the adults tried not to laugh as they offered me encouragement), that the first thing to be aware of in presenting your story to any stranger or group of strangers, is that you have no control over how they interpret it. It has proven invaluable advice over the years.

In practice, it means it is best to withhold your own opinion on your new/current work, let the readers draw their own conclusions, and take no public offense. Accept any further discussion with those who respond well and approach you. Every writer must also accept that perhaps no one will, or you may wait some time for it, depending on the audience and how much work you do that invites more eyes to read what you've written.

On this platform, you can also return the favor with other writers you enjoy, and some of them may reciprocate. That's how you build contacts to "talk shop," which is how I'm interpreting your note at the end. You want to talk shop, especially characterization. A common desire in any storytelling craft, innocent and not really deserving of derision, but soliciting the readership at large does invite that response.

I'm pleased to say that your story is strong enough to me to stand on its own, and you don't need the note at the end. The Count's character and motivations came through loud and clear, I personally was not distracted by considering history or time frame because I recognized absolutely none of the words which the nobles used against each other for evaluating each other's social status. I also didn't have to recognize them; what was more important was that I understood the behavior perfectly and the general way the society was set up.

I was content to let the characters talk, however they talk, and I followed what was happening without struggle. That's a simple success to me. :) I've read first submissions that didn't have it that together, so really, congratulations on your first story. Thank you so much for submitting a story for Geek Pride Day and adding to the eye-bugging variety of styles and topics. I haven't run into two very similar stories yet!

For a first submission this is remarkably polished and we'll crafted. Your world was rich and dense and complex for such a short piece. I loved the way you hinted at culture and politics and religion without feeling the need to take a deep dive into them. Bravo. You're my new favorite author. I can't wait to see what you come up with next.