One Night in Poughkeepsie

I watched as he turned, transfixed by his muscular glutes, the rise and fall of his firm buttocks as he strolled away from the bed. I think I lost control of myself at that moment -- and that's when I made that one little slip which sent the entire night into disarray. The one that turned my long sought-after escapade with this perfect man I crushed on into an experience the likes of which I could never have imagined for someone such as myself.

In my infinite wisdom, I blurted out, "Wait."

He turned back around and gave me a surprised look. As if searching for ways to draw out our playful debauchery, thus ensuring a long night of the most incredible sex I'd ever have, I suggested, "Can we try something first?" I remember biting my lip and giving him a naughty look to seal the deal.

He seemed intrigued. "Try what?" he asked.

"I've always wanted to do this -- but I need someone with me. If you guard the door, do you want to see me sneak out in the hallway... naked?"

Paul's face lit up. "Wow, I didn't know you were that kinky!" he exclaimed. It was clear that the thought of it made him as aroused as it did me. "Let's try it," he added.

I laughed and threw myself off the bed. Even giddier than before, I raced across the room toward the door, amusing myself with the scandal of my swinging boobs in preparation for the thrill of risking an audience for them other than Paul. It was like I had suddenly gotten in touch with myself. My secret fantasy life that I always dismissed now had an urge to materialize, to come alive and blossom into the world.

Paul crept up behind me, full of as much tension and excitement as I was. We were like two teenagers sneaking off to do something naughty together for the first time.

"Ready?" I asked, glancing up at him with a wicked twinkle in my eye.

"I think so..." he muttered, gritting his teeth with anxious anticipation.

I opened the door a crack. The bright light of the hallway flooded through and zipped across my painted toes. At first, I just listened. Silence. I grew a little bolder and peeked through. I didn't see anything but the room across the way. I opened the door a little more and stuck my head out. I felt my hair falling all over my bare shoulders, reminding me of my complete nudity. To the left and right there was only a long, empty hallway with an ugly carpet stretching from end to end, like something out of The Shining.

"Okay, no one's there..." I exhaled with a nervous breath.

"Okay, hurry, I'll hold the door," Paul said.

"Here goes..." I whispered. I took another glance up and down the hallway, then I quickly tugged the door open wider and bolted out of the room.

I remember turning around and looking back at Paul's face, staring in disbelief at me through the wide crack of the door. His expression exploded into amusement as I twirled in a circle, waved my ass at him, and then threw my hands up in the air. I couldn't believe the sense of complete freedom! All I could think of was that at any minute one of the doors might open and a complete stranger could walk out, startled to find some crazy woman dancing about with her boobs and pussy out.

"Come on, you can step outside and still hold the door," I said, racing forward to tug at him. I was desperate to have him feel what I was feeling.

"Wait, you'll..." he blurted out, stumbling forward.

"Come on! Don't be a prude!" I teased. "Just hold it with your other hand!"

Paul put up a fight but he was still laughing, so I felt I could get away with getting him out of his comfort zone. In my mind, I imagined us taking this leap together, surprising ourselves with a mutual rashness and sense of adventure. I had it all laid out in my head. We'd panic together, then rush back into the room, have a hearty laugh about it, and then fuck like rabbits.

But that's not how it happened.

Frustrated by Paul's reluctance, I tugged a little too hard. He took one step too many. I heard a soft click and my heart sank. We both froze as we realized what happened. And by a goddamn centimeter! His foot and arm were still against the door, ready to keep it safely ajar.

"No..." I gasped as I threw my hands over my mouth.

"Fuck... don't tell me the--" I heard him say as he spun around, his foot still anchored in place against the door. He grabbed the doorknob and pushed at it frantically. Suddenly, he started jostling it and slamming his shoulder into the door. It all became real the moment he stepped his foot away and acknowledged the nightmare that had just occurred.

"Fuck!" he said again.

"Shhh!" I hissed. "Someone will hear you and come out!"

I stumbled backward, thrusting my hand as securely as I could over my hairy crotch and wrapping the other arm across my boobs. I simply wanted to die. Up and down the hallway I looked with feverish anxiety. No one was there but somehow I felt sure that at any moment the entire floor would spill out into the hallway to laugh and point at us.

"What do we do?!" I asked, frantically.

"I don't know! Let's go down the hall and see if we can find a place to hide until we figure it out," he said. We rushed down the shorter end of the hallway, turned a corner, and found a small alcove with a Coke machine. We ducked behind it and stood there shaking. "Maybe a maid will come by or something," Paul added.

"Um... that could take a while," I grumbled.

Paul searched around, then spotted the service elevator. "I mean... should we try that? We could take it to the basement or something. We have to find someone!"

I felt my stomach twisting in knots. This had been my fault. I felt awful. Yet somehow I still felt turned on. I couldn't really make sense of it. "Okay, go -- go!" I exclaimed, prodding him toward the elevator door.

When the service elevator arrived there was no one inside. We rushed in and stood on a dingy, scuffed mat. The doors closed and we found ourselves in a gross, steel box plummeting into the bowels of the hotel, carrying our naked bodies with us. It was the strangest sensation I'd ever felt. I didn't recognize the labels on the buttons. Were we supposed to go to "B" or "SB"? When the door finally opened, would we find ourselves standing in front of a throng of gobsmacked hotel staffers?

When the doors finally did open, we stepped out into an empty hallway in some employees-only area. There didn't seem to be anyone out. The hallway was cold. The lights flickered. I wanted to kill that infernal, constant humming.

"Maybe the laundry is down here," Paul suggested as he hurried down the hall. I had to tell myself to stop looking at his butt as he performed a slight jog ahead of me. I felt guilty for still being turned on while we were on the verge of absolute humiliation.

He tried a door but it didn't open. The next one was also locked.

"I can smell chlorine," I said, deeply inhaling the air.

"Yeah, me too. I guess we're near the pool?" he said.

A little further down the hall, there was another door that confirmed our suspicions. It was covered in chipped blue paint. The word, "POOL" was painted in red at the center. It looked like it had been hastily labeled some fifty years ago.

"Try it, try it," I said as we stopped in front.

Paul reached for the knob and started saying, "If we catch someone, we can ask them to run and get us towels and--"

I remember seeing the door opening and had this sense of mild relief. However, it didn't last long. Paul was still looking at me and babbling about something but my eyes were fixed squarely on that door as it swung open to reveal a hallway on the other side. Indeed, we had found the pool. A long window several feet in front of us looked out upon the glistening blue rectangle and its colorful lane dividers.

But that's not all that was on the other side.

A young woman strolled by in her bathing suit. It clung to her body as if she had just climbed out of the pool; her petite breasts were like two dark apples coated in a black, polyester sheen. A lanky, shirtless guy, whom I soon presumed to be her brother, strolled up behind her. I saw his feet slowing as his sister turned and froze. He bumped into her. They couldn't have been more than twenty years old. Their eyes bugged out in their sockets as if trying to process what they were suddenly looking at.

Then I heard the girl gasp, reacting with a start to the sight of our naked bodies. In the corner of my eye, I saw Paul's head turning, about to register what we'd just walked into.

"Let's go, guys, hurry up and get chang--" I heard a woman's voice saying as if confused why they had stopped there. A man and woman appeared out of nowhere and came to a screeching halt. The father did a double-take and adjusted his glasses. We found ourselves standing there butt naked in front of an entire family.

I remember feeling absolutely mortified. However, it was also exhilarating to be caught like that! It was as if the very thing I feared was exactly what I secretly wanted to happen. "So what did you see on your family vacation?" I imagined someone asking them later.

The mother suddenly looked down at Paul's penis. Worse, she then looked over to discover her daughter busily memorizing every feature of it. I couldn't imagine what they must be thinking standing there frozen in shock with a long, flaccid cock and my hairy muff staring back at them. I felt bad for the young guy in front of me.

"Nice bulge there, kid," I was thinking.

"Oh!" Paul said, interrupting the brief silence that somehow felt like an eternity. "I-- uh-- shit! Sorry!" he exclaimed, swinging the door shut.

The last thing I saw before the family vanished was a young woman still staring between Paul's legs with cautious curiosity. "Keep dreamin' girl. You'll have your chance someday. I worked hard for this one," I mumbled to myself.

Suddenly, I snorted and laughed out loud.

"You're laughing?!" Paul exclaimed, looking at me incredulously. His face was red with humiliation. I realized he hadn't seen the humor in the situation like I did, nor the unexpected erotic thrill. Or maybe he just wasn't willing to acknowledge it yet.

"Sorry!" I said, still unable to control my laughter. "But wait! Ask them to help!"

"Oh-- right!" Paul said, lunging for the door again. This time he opened it a crack and peeked out. "Fuck..." he said. I figured it was no surprise that they weren't standing there anymore.

"Let's go back up the elevator. I'm ready to just knock on someone's door at this point," Paul said, hurrying back down the hall. I chased after him. I'm sure there were any number of ways we could have resolved our situation but who could think clearly at a time like that?

We got back into the elevator and pressed the button for our floor. I burst into a fit of hysterics again.

"How can you find this funny?!" he asked, now starting to laugh himself like a hypocrite.

I took one look at the grin on his face and bent in half, giving myself a cramp from so much guffawing. "Which part, the bug-eyed girl you just corrupted, or the poor kid I just made cream his pants in front of his entire family?"

Paul erupted into laughter. "Stop it, you're killing me!" he struggled to get out. The door slid open and we found ourselves back in the friendly glow of the Coke machine. We exited and stood there measuring the amount of silence in the hallway. "Well, that was a productive little expedition we just took," he whispered with a grin.

"Was it as good for you as it was for me?" I joked.

Paul chuckled. "I suppose we just earned the right to tell people we've streaked naked through a hotel before."

"Well, it was on my bucket list, after all," I giggled.

We got a hold of ourselves and quieted down. I suddenly felt victorious. I stood there with newfound confidence. Had I consumed just one more glass of wine before we left the party, I might have even suggested that we stroll right back out there to greet all our friends in our birthday suits.

"Wait a second," I gasped.

"What?"

"Well, Lauren's also staying on this floor. I know what room she's in. Maybe she and Conner have come back to their room by now."

"Oh, geez. Okay, which room?"

"This way!" I exclaimed, rushing back out into the hallway and wagging my rear end with a devilish swagger. After peeking around the corner and confirming that the path was clear, I led Paul quickly past his room and onward until we neared Lauren's.

I stopped short when I heard a door opening. Paul bumped into my bare ass and froze there. To our surprise, it was Lauren's door that had just swung open. Conner, her boyfriend, stepped out into the hallway with his back to us.

"Sorry, Babe. I'll check and be right back!" he was saying. He let the door go and hurried off in the other direction, toward the elevator, completely oblivious to our presence.

Paul rushed past me and lunged for the door as it swung shut. He caught the knob just before it closed and gestured to me to get inside. We threw ourselves into the room and heard the door shut behind us. A sense of relief washed over me. I gave Paul a now-what look. He stared back at me with a dumbfounded expression.

I slapped my forehead and crept forward. Just around the corner, I knew Lauren was probably standing there, about to get the shock of her life. However, I felt a little titillated with the idea that Paul and I might just walk out there into the room the way we were. Secretly, I wanted her to see him naked. The idea of giving her a little tease felt hilarious. After all, it was just Lauren, whom we had known our entire lives.

After waffling in our silent discussion for a minute or two, I just grabbed Paul's arm and gave him a tug. He dug his feet into the carpet, as if to say, "what are you doing?!" but quickly relented. I dragged him forward and the two of us stumbled into the center of the room, then turned.

Lauren lay there in the bed, bathed in the amber glow of the vintage lamp switched on next to her. She gasped and suddenly tugged the sheets up to her neck. Although nothing had been revealed, it was immediately apparent that she was naked and we'd just stumbled upon their own little sexual tryst.

I saw Lauren's sanity seem to shatter right in front of me. For several moments, her eye twitched and her mouth dropped open. A little smile came to her lips, then faded, then crept back more cautiously than before.

"Wh--wh--" she began to spit out.

Paul and I exchanged a brief look, then glanced back toward her, not sure quite how to feel about her laying there with our completely nude bodies fully on display just a few feet away.

"I can explain," I started to say, putting my hand up in the air as if to try to stop her from saying a word.

"Wh- what the fuck-- Amy!" she sputtered, nevertheless.

"As I said, there's an explanation for--" I continued with a sense of mild amusement.

I paused briefly as I saw Lauren's gaze lower down between Paul's legs, her eyes blinking as if shell-shocked. I suppose she couldn't help herself. I followed her gaze right down to Paul's body where his cock hung there like a fat, limp kielbasa.

"Oh. Okay. No-- go ahead and check out the goods. I'll just stand here and wait for you to help us get out of this fucking nightmare," I groaned, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning onto one foot.

Paul and Lauren both turned red.

"No-- I wasn't. I mean--" Lauren quickly snapped. "What the fuck are you both doing here-- and why the hell are you both butt naked?!"

"So, funny story--" I said, finally able to narrate the ridiculous course of events that had just transpired. Just then I heard the click of a lock. "Oh man..." I thought as I heard the sound of Conner's footsteps behind us.

"Can you believe they don't sell them here?!" he was saying as he turned the corner.

I could hear him stop short, no doubt startled by the sight of two unfamiliar, bare bottoms arranged side by side. Conner raced around to the front of our bodies, backing up toward the bed. He clearly wanted to get a good look. I unfolded my arms and smirked at him. What else was I to do?

"Whaaat the fuuuck!" he roared. He shot a look over at Paul. "Dude!" he shouted. "You guys are fucking naked in our hotel room!" His eyes darted back over to me. They settled on my boobs. I saw him giving in to brief urges to check out my lady bits down below, too.

Lauren didn't seem to know what to do. She stared at us, then at the back of Conner's head, then at us again, her mouth still hanging open as if on the verge to either laugh or shout at us to leave.

Then all of a sudden, Conner's eyes shot open. "Wait..." he mumbled. He spun his head around to look at Lauren who gave him a sheepish look. Then he swung it back in our direction, his expression full of disbelief.

"Hoooooly shit!" he exclaimed excitedly. He started to move about like he was standing on hot coals. "I know you fantasize about shit like this but I didn't think you'd ever actually go through with it!" Conner laughed, shooting Lauren another mystified look.

"Huh?" she said softly.

"This is fucking awesome!" Conner continued to laugh.

Then I realized what he was going on about. Having a threesome or a foursome wasn't exactly an unusual thing to fantasize about. Therefore, I wasn't necessarily surprised that Lauren had apparently had such a fantasy. I was, however, surprised that she had admitted it to Conner. And even more so that she never expressed that to me!

I almost burst out laughing all over again when I saw Conner suddenly scramble to get his shirt off and undo the belt on his pants.

"Whoa, uh-- uh," Lauren started to say, her face suddenly distorting into a comical expression of horror. I was briefly afraid she might have an aneurysm.

Conner undressed faster than I thought was humanly possible. I knew things were about to get real the moment he was down to his boxers. He gave me an eager look and grabbed hold of them, then dropped them straight to the floor and stood up proudly, searching expectantly for my approving gaze like I guess I expect any man would.

As far as Conner was concerned? He wasn't exactly my type. That said, he was more than sufficient eye candy. I had to laugh to myself when I saw Lauren's expression as his dick flopped out. I wondered if she thought I was comparing it to the impression she had once given me during one night of drinking when she let slip a little harmless gloating.

Conner raced back to bed, his supposedly expert appendage swaying about with increasing rigidity. He put his arms behind his head and stretched out, nude, with a big dopey grin on his cute face.

No one moved. I tried to say something but it turned into some kind of cross between a laugh and a hoarse choking on my own tongue.

"Come on in, the water's fine," Conner quipped while growing impatient. He lowered one hand to pat the bed with a smirk.

"Uh... actually..." Paul finally said.

"Yeah, um... well, hang on there..." I said, moving slowly toward Lauren's side of the bed. I sat on the edge of the mattress, trying to figure out how I could possibly save my friend from the shockingly presumptuous actions of her randy boyfriend. Paul followed right behind me, as if eager to hear what my explanation could possibly be at this point.

I shifted over onto the center of the bed to make room for him, letting him take my place in front of Lauren. I sat there cross-legged in front of an attentive crowd like some naked sadhu about to disseminate spiritual guidance. Only, instead, my presence there only served to draw attention to a pair of perky boobs jutting from my chest.

I was about to open my mouth to try, however in vain, to bring some sanity and understanding to the situation when Conner opened his own mouth first and made a rather consequential statement, even more so than the ludicrous request I had made to Paul earlier, which got us into that mess in the first place.