All Comments on 'One Short Night'

I thought that was a very good story (this is a fiction site yes?) and very well told. Thanks

Takes a good writer to make a reader dislike the outcome

Normally like your stories, but not this one.

glad for the ending

LPN...you're right. I shoulda used a department store dummy. D

What a story about totally screwed up people. I could only go 2 pages before I was totally disgusted with the people and story. Someone must have pissed in your breakfast before you wrote it.

Good story. That was a truly fucked up thing with Chris and Ronald. Hard to believe Don put up with that all those years. Letting that pass, your story was well written. JJ and Mary's reconciliation was believable. The entire last chapter pushed this to a 5 for me. Mary's acceptance of her "penalties" made this story one of your best.

Mediocre 2 stars

Ronald should have been told the results! Still a5*story! Thanks!

Cuck, cuck, cheater, cheater, asshole- the whole storyline. one star.

I really liked this story. I appreciate the time, the rewriting, and the patience this complex tale must have required to paint these lives so well. Five stars and relegated to my Favorites. Thanks

Not a likeable cast of characters, but a nice tale, well told.

I liked it. Story concept was good and realistic. It was believable. The writing was a little off. I'm not sure just how to describe it other than it didn't flow smoothly. As far as others calling this a cuck story, they will never be satisfied unless it is total BTB to the ground. The reconciliation took years of separation and growth on both their parts. I think it was definitely a case of their getting married to young and not having the maturity to commit to each other and that was what would always be the cause of his doubt of her faithfulness. She knew and understood this and made the right decision in never allowing herself to feed that doubt by her actions.

Thanks for the story and keep working on your writing skills. 4-stars.

CUCK SHIT X 1000!

In the late 1940s, if a man accused his wife of adultery, she was the one shut out of society. She would be lucky to not be arrested in almost every state, and after she got out of prison, she would get nothing in the divorce. She would never see her children again, even the bastard baby would be taken from her and given away via adoption. The husband would have a new, young, church girl who wants to be a mother right away. The current children will gradually forget their birth mother, and no one will ever speak of her.

Don’t set stories in prior decades, and then premise the plot on current law and culture!

ZK

Addendum:

Depending upon the state (county really), urban vs. rural areas, the husband could cripple, possibly even kill the lover, and not only would the sheriff not arrest him, he’d probably help.

The standards of acceptable behavior immediately after WW2 are almost unrecognizable to progressive millennials. A veteran’s wife is running around?!? Yeah, she and the other man can “disappear” one day and no one would give a rat’s ass!

ZK

⭐⭐

Nope, fucking waste of my damn time. Fucking Cuckold trope. I always forget that demanded is a Cuckold wimp author

I surprised myself by liking the story as much as I did. I felt bad that the dad didn't get his proper pound from Ron, but I guess that'd be for another story.

What the fuck with this reconciliation?

I am surprised I liked this. The Chris/Ron situation was ridiculous - considering Don’s comments and actions I fail to see how Ron could successfully as Ron is obviously pretty stupid. A combat solider who is fitter, younger, stronger and still trains in unarmed combat threatens him and he hangs around!?! I don’t know if the author served but combat troops are taught to remove threats and then ask questions. Also even nowadays it would be pretty easy for Ron to disappear let alone in the 70’s. I appreciate Don wanting to keep the family together but Ron should have been taught a lesson. I would have kicked Chris to the curb straight off, ruined the reputations of Chris and Ron and given Ron a damn good kicking.

You could have called it 3 whores and a bastard. It would fit kuch better. Would of been even better if he had killed them both.

The three way dynamic between Don, Chris, and Ronald was strange and implausible. It woukd have more likely ended up with Don killing Ronald. Chris was a n extreme bitch. Not sure why she bothered emptying the condoms into herself. Guilt? There are blood tests back then that could have helped. Eventually Don should have gotten a DNA test when technology was developed and thrown it in Ronald's face. The story about Mary and JJ was more compelling but almost a sidebar. Hence 4 stars. Well written though a bit clinical.

Interesting story, I enjoyed it. Thanks for your writing.

Show, don’t tell. It’s a fundamental rule of good writing. Don’t tell us what happened - that’s just the news. Show us what happened, reveal inner life and emotions through behavior and real conversation - THAT’S a story.

Chris never paid the price for her evil self-absorbed behavior. Divorce and finding out Ronald was a jerk was the extent of her pain? Not nearly enough! JJ is an idiot, it is only a matter of time until his slut wife finds another "beautiful" man she believes she deserves.

Very interesting story & a compelling read. However, the thing with Ron, Don, & Chris wasn't totally believable, unless Don's made out to be a wimp, which I didn't get from the story. Ron's successful but I don't see how; he seems too stupid by his out of work actions. Chris's just a blatant slut, who got pregnant & used that pregnancy to keep having sex with Ronald.

... While Don's not a wimp, he's shown to be somewhat weakish in that he allowed the cheating to continue. Taping their words with a recorder (even before cell phones!) would've down them both. That he didn't get Ron to give child support is amazing, even if/ tho JJ would be found to be Don's son. It's Ron & Chris stating as fact that he's Ron's. Either way, Chris should've been stopped from seeing Ron, or just divorced under adultery (if available).

.... The night at Ron's house, when he wanted more sex from Chris & she agreed, he again acted weakly. Should've attacked Ron somewhat, then shoved Chris into him & told her not to return home; she could have all the sex with him she wanted. When JJ got married the 2nd time, WHY was Chris there? JJ wanted nothing to do with her.

.... Actually, when finding out about the cheating between Ron & his mother, JJ didn't react as he should've, which's to verbally blast the 2 & tell them their out of his life. Another strong opportunity missed, although with what's happening then with Mary, it could be understood.

... Lastly, the writing. Words put on backwards, some words either mispelled or not put in. Very short sentences. After a quote, he/she said with a capital 1st letter, instead of a comma at the end of the quote. Read almost anything by a qualified writer to learn. What's needed is at least a rereading of what you wrote; better yet, a proof reader or one of the apps. This, at least for me, would make a more enjoyable reading. But in spite of all the above, much to my thoughts about the story, again, it was interesting & overall well written. 4 stars If not for the last paragraph I wrote, it would've been 5. Bob

Too many sluts and one asshole who you let off way way too easy. If only there were negative stars.The

Don reaction was completely off. Either a willing cuck that would never get angry or get in the way, or an immediate strong negative which would not allow the wife to have a visible affair for twenty years. The middle ground as presented here with him finally taking solid action after two decades is just stupid and so far out there as to be pathetic. Other aspects of the ending were also just ridiculous. Not a worthwhile effort here, in fact deserving of negative scores. Extremely high ratio of negative comments also

What horrible women.

So far every story of yours that I have read sucked more then the one before. It’s time to give the rest of your shitty story’s a pass. Please find a hobby you are good at. It’s not writing.

A very morale story , I liked how you twisted it just enough to make it that bit different

Yeah there are no morals in this story, Don sealed his fate because he was a coward to accept Chris's affair and let her have a bastered child, still in wedlock and then allow her monthly whoring, as if that is not enough she wanted more time/sex with Ron, that shows the pure narcissism, and self-entitlement she felt as well as having zero respect for her husband, partial blame on Don for being a cuckold if you accept a woman's hypergamous cheating nature it only gets worse. This whole it only happened once bs or I was drugged or drunk, yeah well try those excuses in a court and see if any charges are dropped, that is all women do deflect and excuse.........

Very well-done, complex, and original story. Loved it. Took my emotions all over the place. Keep up the good work.

Ed

This is my second read. I am still not sure how I feel. Gave a 3 stars rating after the first read, going to leave it at 3 stars now. Went through this shit with my first wife, divorced her, never looked back even though she was always trying to reconnect. I am married to my second wife now for 37 GREAT years, and never have to worry. First wife went through at least 15 guys (never remarried). Who needed her? Not me.

Decent story at last.

An interesting and well written tale. You powerfully diconnected love and emotional attachment to the act of sex. It's completely understandable why the young couple have no idea how to make a relationship work. They have absolutely no tangible examples. Every character except JJ is completely despicable and there would be little hope that he could overcome his experiences.

I enjoyed reading this tale. Interesting how it shifted to the parents, then back again to the two kids. 4 stars.

Wow-- THANKS, DO MANY MORE SOON---

FIRST, forget the story line and concentrate on the writing and flow of the words-- draws you into the events so yo you feel you are actually there & part of it. The language flows and is well done to keep th reader involved. Not so much of the usual fluff in the description of events so that reader gets lost from the story in the collaring of language. GREAT WRITING.

SECOND-- the story itself is magical -- it draws you into the characrers and events as tho you were there. There were folks of good and not so good. Real emotions, several sub story lines, all possibly real.

FINALLY-- a nice and happy ending. You can have your drama, I like to close the book at the end with a good feeling and comfortable happiess That way I can now say good night and know I will

Sleep well with out night mares and anger.

Only terrible self-absorbed stupid people in this rotten tale. Hope they all get STD's and leave the world a better place without them.

The story gets 4 Stars ... Although I must say that it is a sad and depressing example of how lives should be lived. I'm no psycho but Ron would have been neutered or disappeared somehow, if I were Don. Also, if I were J.J. I would have shacked up with the bitch for as long as she seemed exclusive... But that's all. No marriage to a known cheating slut.

Great read for the second time. Thanks for your writing.

I very much liked the story. I liked the use of ambivalent in this tale. I think it is fitting: lots of moral grayness, but as happy an ending as can be had given the circumstances.

/

Obviously Chris is a pretty bad person, but her actions are realistic. She had Don temporarily over a barrel and exploited it. It’s pretty clearly a bad thing to do, but something a fundamentally unfaithful person might do. I think she had some feelings for Ronald, but essentially used him as a change of pace dildo.

/

Ronald may be ironically the stupidest of the story. He stuck around Chris for 22 years as a concubine of sorts only to become a cuck. He deserved it though. He attempted to exploit Don and ended up being kept on a string.

/

Don is a hard luck case. Divorce in 1949 would have been an absolute scandal and extremely difficult to obtain. He was boxed in. There weren’t a ton of PIs or cellphone cameras or prenuptial agreements or paternity tests. He ended up with a happy life.

/

Julia (minor character) messed up, but she didn’t truly equivocate on what she did. She paid the price for her sins. It’s ok that she ended up pretty happy.

/

Mary was totally weak for a moment while young and high. Did she deserve forgiveness? No. She got and earned a divorce. It wasn’t until years later and maturity that she earned a happy ending. But it was not a fairy tale. She had to avoid all temptations and silent accusations and did not complain. I think she earned her ending.

/

JJ was a flat character because he had everything happen to him. He made three decisions during the story and got them all right: he left, he divorced, and he forgave. He should have left because Mary would not see reason. He divorced because her actions deserved it. He forgave because he still loved her and made her prove that she was morally worth a chance.

Too many stories here. Too many relationships involved in the telling.

Haha holy shit everyone in this story was fkin batshit crazy my dude

Yeh

Yep, great story

Well worth 5/5

Not one good person in the bunch, all scum bags.

Super !

Creative but anachronistic to the era it purportedly occurred in. There is no way the "agreement " between Don, Chris and Ronald would hold or even develop back then, in what? The early 50s? Forgetting a violent resolution, which was certainly not uncommon back then in yesteryear, and Don admitted to Julia that he coukd have made Ronald disappear without any consequences. But look at it from a divorce side. States didn't have no fault divirce back them. Adultery was a scandal back then. Catch the wife cheating, and she gets burned. She woukd lose custody of all three. Why all three? Don is on the birth certificate. No DNA tests back then. Not even sure that a blood type mismatch coukd be used back then to overcome a name on a birth certificate. Ronald has no legal standing, and as a lawyer he would know that. The birth of JJ is not proof of infidelity (it m was Don's anyways) because again no DNA testing. So when he divorces Chris, he gets custody of all three. Almost absolutely unless she tries some abuse hoax with Ronald's help, in which case Ronald (and possibly Chris) die. Don was a soldier in Europe during WWII. Ronald rode a desk. Good luck with that Ron. So Don's worries about economic suicide (guess he waited till kids were out of the house, mistakenly thinking child support), and think Ronald would actively parent JJ were all for nothing. Besides Chris was obviously smitten with Ronald and woukd marry him rapidly anyways, even if for some insane reason there was alimony. Was an interesting and creative story, but setting it in 1971 and before, drops it one star because it relies on tenets from the modern era that were irrelevant back then. 4 stars.

Well written but what a fucked up story, plot wise. To think that people would do such a thing. My reaction:

'Chris said, "No. And he's so proud that he has a son."

"Really.....maybe....we should tell him."

Were I Don, I would have made sure to tell Ronald personally that JJ wasn't his son. And I would have been terribly tempted to knife or shoot the bitch Chris for her cruelty in hiding the truth. This from an 67 year old man married 41 years to a loving woman and very peaceful. So, a very good albeit twisted story to evoke such emotions.

interesting group of people

A bit rambling, but good. Didn't care much for the women, Hated Chris, disliked Mary and Julia. Wanted Ronald tortured to death in the worst way.