All Comments on 'One Simple knock Pt. 01'

A very nice first effort. I thought the end was a little abrupt. I would have liked to see a little more backstory but that's just me. Please keep writing.😀

Is the narrator's name Demi or Sellina? I think we need to get that straight. The dialogue is a bit stilted. Great natural dialogue makes a story so much more entertaining and believable.

Don't you have any more detail about how lovely the bodies are, rather than just the 'nuts and bolts' of what action they quickly got into?

A Nice 1st Lesbian Sex Story!

I agree with Candy_Kane54 on the ending of PT. 01 being a bit rushed. However, overall I enjoyed this introductory chapter and am interested on where you will take the story. Please continue with PT. 02 and possibly consider having each part at 2 or 3 pages.

Another suggestion, is to consider the next chapter being presented "prequel style", where page #1 provides a bit of a back story on Sellina's / Yvette's relationship prior to Yvette's family moving to Bahamas. Then page #2 continues on from the end of this PT. 01, with their future exploits.

Definitely Continue On With Your Writing!!!!!!!

.

In its own way this was as good as many of the best stories in this genre. You really nailed all the important points using an economy of words.

I agree about the "Demi"' "Sellina" Faux pas, but it was a minor distraction to an otherwise excellent first effort

Kudos