One Step Behind

You are a good writer. This is a well written story. I know it is fantasy. It just seems very.....well.....?

It seems like a woman trying to write a story from a male perspective I think is the best way to put it.

Not my choice of story to read but I have very much enjoyed other stories by this author.

So if this is the worst story you have written then that's a good thing because now you can only go up 👍.

And honestly the writing was good, just the subject matter and the conclusions reached made no sense at all too me. So 5 stars for the quality of writing. I will not give a down vote for personal preference since that does not seem fair

Sincerely,

Payenbrant

Not enjoyable in the slightest. There was no love or respect here, just a mmc who was pathetic and mistreated. This is grotesque in the original definition of the word. 1*

Don't know how this was different Fr Rome any of the other loser stories on here

Checking back on one of my favorite writers on literotica, sadly this is still the last one posted. I hope that she didn’t get disillusioned by the cold reception to this story, and I hope to see more in the future.

Unlike many on here I like cuckold stories generally but this isn't one of them. This is about a cheating slut and a supposed friend. Also, there were quite a few typos and just how many kids did they have? Because it started with 2, went to 3, then back to 2!

A well written story. And it being a true story makes it that much better, even if I don't the way things went. But I did like reading it. Keep writing and thank you.

@whackdoodle, you can't tell a true story with fiction. It was written as a true story, so there can't be any changes made and still be a true story.

Was it a large double bed or a single student bed? Near the end of page 3 and at the start of page 4.

"Shortly after that, when I had stripped her soft, curvy body naked alongside her large double bed"....a few paragraphs later...."I spent the night with Caroline in her single student bed"

Well written, but I didn't like it

*It's a life that many men dream of, but few of us actually live.

I mean, even if a man could accept that his wife is screwing around, there's still the problem of cheating, lying and sneaking around because she did it behind his back,

So how broken does MAN have to be to swallow all that and then also accept the mercy fuck that the other two confess to him, after all, the boyfriend is the "Ferrari" in bed, so why dig up the Ford?

(At the sentence alone I think I would have been forced to leave the room FAST, otherwise it would have come to fisticuffs).

Watching his soul draining from his body as she destroyed him was too much for me.

As an ordinary cuck story this one was a good one and held my interest from start to finish but the JG stories I know and love are written from the female perspective and that is what I love about them.

I admit to having a bit of a crush on a middle-aged writer in England named Jenny Gently and will read anything written by her but please give me the female view, I already know the male side of cuckdom!

I love JennyGently writing and her themes. However i found it hard to get into this piece. Well written but somehow uninspiring. I found myself wondering, why? Well the story is written from a man's perspective, whereas her stories are usually related by a woman. I can see I might simply prefer reading the woman's thoughts. But I felt the man here was a bit wet, a bit unbelievable, even as someone open to be cuckolded. It is almost as if is is still written as if coming from a woman, so that the reader is left a little mixed up as to what is going on.

The story also reminds me of a friendship I have had with a school friend all my life. In that context the friendship with Marcus did not feel very real. Adolescent boys can be very cruel and they do not build friendships with people that they are not in some way on a level with. Partners in crime, call it what you might. Yes we swapped borrowed acquired girlfriends from each over the years, but it was always in way which preserved each others masculine pride. So if you were hurt or offended you never admitted it, you just moved straight on.

Well, though I really enjoy JennyGently’s stories (and keep checking for new chapters in the corporate series that I fear won’t happen), this one left me cold. I like cuckold stories as long as the man isn’t a total whimp (and yes, it IS possible). He can enjoy seeing his wife going at it, even accept that he isn’t the best lover she has, BUT: he can’t accept getting dumped on and totally disrespected. This husband accepts being denied sex almost exclusively. The wife has no embarrassment doing it in front of him, and it’s NOT because she is doing him a favor- she just doesn’t care, in my opinion, he should have stated things unequivocally: “Yes, I am turned on watching you, but I’m also really disappointed in your lying, your constant cheating, and the lack of love and physical affection you deny me. I might still love you, but I don’t respect or admire you very much any more.” I like happy endings, and even some sharing, but the wife has really poisoned this marriage and I expect it to fail in the not too distant future. I’m not as big a fan of Saddletramp-style BTB stories, but I’ll make an exception in this case. Sorry that I couldn’t like it more.

Hi Jenny,

I’ve read many of your stories and love your work. After reading this story, I felt a bit let down and I wondered whether I should comment or not, but knowing how authors like to receive comments, I decided to comment.

This story, like all your writing, is high quality and well written. The first 4 pages are a pretty routine explanation of his/their early life, marriage and kids (2 or 3?). Although it was fairly slow, it held my attention sufficiently to stick with it, but it was not rivetting enough to make me read it in one sitting. Then on page 5, Marcus returns and this is where the real story begins. Though pages 6 and 7, the narrative is mainly about Paul spying on them fucking. I felt the narrative got monotonous at this stage and there were times when the whole screen of my tablet was occupied with uh-uh-uh and slap-slap-slap, although there had been a lot of that also in earlier chapters.

On page 7, Chapter 18, he and Caroline discuss the future. This is where I think you missed a real opportunity. This is where you could have explored in more depth the tension and its resolution. Chapter 19 comes up suddenly and the whole situation has been resolved. This part of the story, from Chapter 18 to the start of Chapter 19, could have occupied a few more good chapters.

Maybe you were constrained by the narrative given to you by Paul, but I think you could have used some of your artistic creativity to have turned this into a better story. I hope these comments come across as constructive, and look forward to your next story. Many thanks for your excellent work!

like this four star story a lot, i got confused between two then three k i d s, but maybe just me. great story with a bit of a different twist.

I agree with Hikerbikers comments below almost precisely. Only thing is I can feel his humiliation and it causes some, I don't know if it is pain, humiliation, emasculation or just frustration. All I know is I can't read a JG story in a single sitting. It usually takes a few days. Still very well written and despite my above feelings very well done. I was happy to see Paul was getting some again. Well done Jenny