One Week in May

I rush home finding her still in this position on the kitchen floor. I manage to revive her a little and get her to the breakfast table. Suddenly she tears away from me and tries to get at the knife draw. Fortunately Heather quickly gets in her way. Bridget turns; darts past me and bounds up the stairs into the bedroom en suite, slamming the door.

I follow but don't catch her. I call down to Heather to call an ambulance while I figure out how to open the locked door. Eventually by brute force, using my foot I split the door at the lock. Bridget has a handful of old sleeping tablets and is desperately trying to swallow them; fortunately she is having trouble swallowing. I don't know how many she has managed to take down.

I grab the plastic pill container off her a throw it away out of reach. I grab her and I hug, I hug, I hug her desperately for her, for me, for lily for our marriage. Bridget sobs and moans, for what?

The ambulance arrives quickly. Not knowing how much she has ingested they take her away immediately to have her stomach pumped.

I follow to the hospital, when I get there she is in a treatment room. Later she is wheeled out sedated and asleep.

I go home, Heather is still there. I explain what the hospital were doing and decide to ring around to inform our friends and family. I could not bring myself to talk to Claudija directly and spoke to Alf instead. I told him to be on standby with Lily. I would call him when Bridget was a little better.

Heather offered to make me lunch and after a bit of fossicking around we end up with Tuna sandwiches and a cup of tea. Following that we talk for a while. I fill Heather in on some details. She is painfully shocked and her face red as she bursts into tears about what has happened. I realize the toll that must be on all those around me. Eventually Heather leaves with a promise from me to keep her informed.

I have an idea. I retrieve my copy of the separation agreement from my study as I leave for the hospital.

*************

Monday 13^th May 5:15 p.m.

I have been sitting next to Bridget's bed in the hospital psych ward for most of the afternoon. There was a bit of paper work related to her hospital admission but apart from that I have been alone with her. They want to have her under observation over the next few days.

She is beginning to stir so I ring Alf to bring in Lily.

I sit back in the Lazyboy beside her bed. I see her open her eyes and blink. She smiles and weakly holds out her arm and I kiss her hand then she reaches out with both and pulls me in for a hug. I return her hug holding nothing back.

I am crying she is crying. Nothing is said. I pick up the brown envelope of the separation agreement and hold it up. She looks shocked but without hesitation and with a flourish I tear it in half. She lets out a howl and sobbing she pulls me in and starts kissing me all over my face. The commotion attracts a couple of nurse who stop and the door and seeing what is going on step back smiling.

Alf and Lily come down the corridor. Alf Striding, Lily scampering as they reach the door. Bridget spies her blonde little cuteness and lights up. Lily looks at me then back at Bridget and runs forward yelling, "Mummy, my mummy's here!"

**************

Outcomes

It is now many years since that week. Yes Bridget and I are together but we ended up with 4 children not the three we planned. It was never going to be an easy reconciliation. The next morning when I went back with Alex she did not want anything to do with us. She seemed to be blaming us for Schaefer's demise. The sedation had worn off and her addiction to Schaefer had resurfaced. She did not want Schaefer charged. She was convinced that the story the police had was fabricated and that somehow he had been set up.

The police arrived shortly after us. As Alex was not welcome by Bridget he could not be party to the questioning. As a result of the information she received at the questioning she completely broke down which resulted in a period of psychiatric care. Lily and I were not to see a lot of her over the next couple of months. She was never charged with anything and she did finally file a complaint which was added to the list of charges against Schaefer et al.

Later she appeared at a preliminary hearing which again triggered another relapse.

She went through an extended period of cold turkey, I suppose, but she did come right. The toll on her confidence was terrible. For a time she would not go out in public. She was very agoraphobic and was terribly afraid of what people would think of her. She was especially afraid of men. I was the only one who she could handle at close range. In fact she became very clingy and dependent on me. However in time and with treatment our social life came back

Our personal life moved slowly but after a year, our intimacy finally reached a milestone. We had specialist counselling for that. I have to say our love making is now more vigorous than before. Part of the treatment was the normalizing of some of her activity with Schaefer and co which she previously had thought of as dirty. We both needed to reset our sex life to establish some kind of psychological synchronization. Of course, that did not include multiple partners.

The main effect was she demanded a lot more forceful sex which was difficult for me to adjust to but we eventually fell into a regime that had variety and a little more imagination than in the past. In the period where we were trying for a baby she became especially animated and vocal. The swearing would make a trooper blush but it had the desired effect. We both seemed to lose weight in this period so perhaps the exercise was doing us good.

Bridget would have gone on making babies if she could but we decided to save the planet from over population and ceased at four.

I eventually left the business world and rejoined the academic world, completing my PhD. My father was not happy but I reminded him of his love for dream weaver.

Early on my brothers got the benefit of my father's aspirations for his offspring in business. Eventually he did kind of get his wish for me when not long before he died I approached him for assistance to set up private research institute. He never stopped reminding me how happy he was and did so again on his death bed. He saw it as his personal victory; I saw it as mixing business with pleasure.

And Bridget? As her confidence grew she settled on a startup. She finally achieved her dream as a CEO of her own company. This time she did it on her own initiative which grew out of the daily life and concerns of a mother.

Pulling together a team with a variety of expertise she created a brand for proven projects advancing the betterment of the children's welfare. It covered all aspects of children, nutrition, health, clothing, education and care. It was a constantly evolving approach, all based on the best and latest evidence.

She would not accept a cent from my Father or me for setting up. She raised the finance with her business partners. She was eventually to get a gong from the Governor General for that part of her business aimed at low income children. She never made a cent from that part of her business as it was her way of giving back to the community.

Hers was not a case of once a cheater always a cheater. It was a lesson learnt in the most horrible way. Looking back to that week; why did I not hate her? Why did I not carry through with divorce?

For a start I was not just fighting for her I was fighting for my life, my career, for Lily, for my family and for hers. My mind was too busy strategizing to dwell on the hurt. To me it was a problem to be resolved in the shortest possible time.

Sure there were periods where there did not seem any point in carrying on and my marriage had totally terminated. But such thoughts passed quickly in my determination to concentrate on positive actions. Actions based on emotion and revenge would only exacerbate the problem.

Was fucking another man a problem for me? I am no cuck; I don't enjoy that sort of thing but we both had plenty of sex with others before we were married. I have never been too sensitive about that as it is now all just history. Most of the sex with Schaefer and co was abuse and often violent.

Whatever might have been consensual in the beginning was submerged in the trauma. It was something that Bridget could never bring herself to talk about. I was happy with that. Sex with another man was something she now feared. No way did I want her come to terms with idea. It remained a regret that stays with her and she is quick to censure any friends who express that interest.

Did Schaefer, Saks et al get what they were due? Sure did. Jail terms all round. Saks never reemerged in the business world.

As for Schaefer, life is not easy for pedophiliacs in prison. Especially being extradited to Philippines rather than the US; we never heard from him again.

Bridget was of no need of a short leash after her experience and it was perfectly clear I would never tolerate a repeat. The key I think is that Bridget had a real respect for me in the way I handled the whole affair. I did not believe that respect was really there before, which had led to a series of very poor decisions by her.

We are more prepared to work as a team and we are now more prepared to ask for and take each other's advice. We still have the odd argument but they do not seem as personal and hurtful as they once might have been.

And what of my would be lover, Marcia? The others in the book group tended to blame her for what happened to Bridget; a scapegoat, maybe? It was possibly a little unfair of them as most of the group were complicit.

Marcia was, in all intents and purposes, now persona non grata, losing the friends she had since her school days. She simply disappeared. Nobody cared. I feel sorry for her in a way. I was quietly flattered that she felt that way about me so I wish her well and hope she had learned a valuable lesson.

Sally and Diane remained good friends; in fact they were women of honour when Bridget and I renewed our vowels. With that milestone Bridget and my dreams were finally woven. My research group was finally underway, Bridget's startup was way beyond the startup phase; we had four rug rats, 3 girls and one bloke, all scrubbed up to join the entourage with the Women of honour.

Bridget was never tempted to join another book group; however a few blokes and I have been discussing the idea..........