All Comments on 'Online Dating'

Pretty good for a first time. I’m trying myself to write my first story. Keep this uñ. May be a follow up?

Isn't funny you asshole. I'd love to read bout this happening to you.

DrogonRoder55

At no point during writing this did I laugh. Some girls fancy a little in depth roll play. I didn't mean to press a nerve, but honestly, simulated rape is a semicommon fetish among bored young women. I do not, in any way, condone legitimate rape. It was just a fantasy I had before a date with a new guy I started talking to that I met online. My future stories might upset you more. My story Subliminal Seduction actually happened to me just after I came of age. Technically it was rape. I never consented. I just laid there... sleeping. I have many memories and fantasies I have yet to share, but I hope if you choose to read them you read it with an open mind. Cause, fair warning, I like it kinkier than most women.

And thank you anonymous nice guy. My date was last night, went awesome with a twist, so as a follow up, I have written all about it and titled it D***, My Friday Night Date, and I welcome your feed back on it as well as any opinions on how reality measured up to reality.

Love,

Ames

Being taken is probably one of the most common female fantasies as is sleeping sex, the topic of her next story. Both transfer the responsibility of that coupling to the man since women in most cultures are discouraged from engaging in sexual intercourse outside of marriage.

I liked the story overall, however, I rated it much lower than I would have otherwise because of some significant and glaring typos, ie. "I looked into her eyes to see a single year fall." Getting an editor, proofreader, or beta reader will help. Those are three different roles, by the way, although there is overlap.

Where the story fell short for me (Subliminal Seduction worked much better), was in the sudden surge in intensity. I think if you had dialed it back in the beginning, it would have allowed the tension to build more. It just seemed over the top too soon, too extreme, too black and white; a bit more grey would add complexity.

As your first story, it shows a good command of the English language, both grammar and vocabulary. I look foward to your future submissions. If you want, I proofread for several authors on this site and would be willing to to add you to my list.

Thank you! Your compliments and criticisms left me all warm and fuzzy inside and eager to do better in the future. I especially loved the "good command of the english language" part. It just tingled.

I apologize for the typos and readily admit I wrote the entire thing on my galaxy prosky js7 something or other semi-smart phone. I read it at least 6 times over, and I hang my head in shame. I would absolutely love a good editor. I've only been here a few days, so I guess I need to read the forum to get a stronger handle on how this site works so we can set that up. However in the spirit of full disclosure, my story altogether has parts in it that are pretty sick. You should know the tag words will vary wildly before you offer that a second time.

But you know what? I'm going to message you.

XoxoxoX,

Ames