Operation Recover Mr. D

"I worry that no one will want to be with me."

Her eyes glistened. She was baring all, and I was as happy as I could ever remember being, even as she agonized. I knew she'd be fine in time. But my little girl needed me right now, and I was the only one who could reassure her. I squeezed her hands.

"Katie, my love, you'll have your choice of life partners. You're the spitting image of your mom, but you aren't her. And you aren't me. You'll make your own mistakes, but you are so worthy of being loved. You're blunt and direct, but you're also so compassionate. Caring about people is about the best thing any of us can be, and you care. A lot. About your friends and family for sure, but also about people in general. I know I've told you how proud I was when you organized that clothing and furniture drive for the Nelsons when their house burned down. Sweetheart, you were just eleven years old. And you only knew the Nelsons by sight from church. But you saw tragedy and you saw need and you saw how you could help and then you did."

"Mom did most of it."

"No, Mom helped you learn what you needed to do, but she also made sure you did it. You talked to the minister. You made the posters. You addressed the congregation and the school assembly. You asked Mr Adams and Mr Washington if they'd use their trucks to pick up the big pieces of furniture. You talked to the storage lot."

"Mom made the guy donate the space."

"Well, he was a bit of an asshole. But she just emphasized your points."

"With a lot of extra swearing."

I laughed. "Your mother has always made things happen. But you made that happen for the Nelsons. My point is that you are a good person. And you're so beautiful, inside and out. There's no one in this world who wouldn't be thrilled to be with you. I love you, Katie. And I know you'll find someone who loves you so much they'll want to make a life with you. And if you both work at it, you'll stay together forever. The lesson from our divorce isn't that you're not good enough for someone. It's that even when you have love, you still have to invest in that love. Love doesn't sustain itself. You need to feed it. Every single day."

She squeezed my hand, and then she made me cry too.

"You're pretty amazing yourself, Dad."

* * * * *

Katie was going to spend Saturday night with her mom before driving back to school, but she wanted to see her friend too, so she waited for Tara at my condo.

Jackie was the undisputed boss of their little squad. Emmy played the analyst. Katie got things done. And Tara was their beating heart. She kept everyone true. She made sure they never strayed too far from the right path, even when short cuts were easier and returned more. She radiated goodness. Tara wasn't pious or sentimental, and I never saw her shame or judge anyone either. She was simply grounded. She knew who she wanted to be, and she behaved that way always. So it wasn't a surprise that people gravitated to her.

Tara Fischer hopped out of her Honda Civic and rushed to hug Katie. They squealed in that way that young women do and rocked each other energetically. Tara was nearly as tall as Katie, but she was a relative stick. Long, lean, lithe, with very few womanly curves. Her eyes were clear and bright and a hauntingly pale blue.

"How's our project?" Tara asked, looking over to me. Katie released her, and Tara slipped over to give me a hug.

"Are you asking me or the demanding one over there?" I asked with faked resentment.

"I'm asking her now. I'll compare your answer later."

I laughed and gave her a perfunctory hug. The time with Katie had reset my expectations, and I was fine assuming a platonic week with Tara. Her hug didn't give any indication she felt differently.

Tara and Katie caught up quickly, and within ten minutes Katie was pulling out of my driveway. I grabbed Tara's bag while she was saying goodbye to my daughter, and we walked into my condo.

"I've got all my stuff in the guest room, so I can stay there this week too. I will need to change the sheets on the master bed though."

Tara didn't acknowledge me. She walked on through until she found the master bedroom. I was right on her heels.

"Thanks, Mr D. I won't kick you out of your room though."

"I insist. You're giving up a week of your life to help me out, it's the least I can do. And I always make it a point to do the least I can do!"

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "Your jokes are as bad as ever, Mr D. And you've never done less than your best for us."

Well that made my eyes tear up. What was it with these young women and their ability to affect me so?

"I have an ex-wife who might disagree, Tee."

"I doubt that, but who really knows?" Tara turned back to the room and looked at the messy bed. "How about a compromise then? This bed looks big enough to fit both of us. Or do you want Jackie and Emmy to have bragging rights over me for the rest of my life?"

I flared bright red, and Tara laughed, but kindly.

"I didn't get details, but I do know neither of them slept in the guest room. Don't worry though. We'll never tell Katie." She touched my face gently. "I understand if you say no, but I was really hoping to spend the week getting to know you very, very well."

So much for my reset expectations.

"Are you sure, Tara? I'm an old man feeling a little emotionally battered. You can do so much better."

"No, I don't think I can. I have waited quite a few years to have this time with you. I have many fantasies, and I need you to realize them."

Okay, then.

We changed the sheets on the bed -- she insisted on helping -- and I got the old set started in the washing machine. I walked out and sat next to her on the sectional. She sat with both of her knees pulled to her chest and her arms loosely wrapped around them.

"I don't suppose you'd like to join me at La Traviata for dinner tonight, Ms. Tee?"

Tara smiled and unfolded herself. She leaned over and gave me a chaste kiss on my cheek.

"Why, I'd love to, Mr D. And thank you. I hear it's very romantic."

I called and made a reservation. They recognized my name and thanked me for being a loyal customer. They were going to be so disappointed next weekend. That done, I returned to the lanky young woman lounging on my sectional.

"Can I ask what's on the agenda for the week ahead, Tee? It seems like your co-conspirators have covered all the bases already."

"I'm sure we can think of something," Tara said, smiling. Her teeth were absolutely perfect. Straight, white, and completely natural. She'd never worn braces.

"Seems like you already have."

Her laugh always surprised me. For a thin woman whose voice was always measured, she laughed with gusto. And volume. The first few times you heard her explosive laugh it felt very nearly like an assault. She relaxed back, stretching her arms to lay them across the back of the sectional.

"Well, I've had many years to consider the possibilities. But I'm here for you this week. Not just physically, though I hope that's a big part of our week, but also to help you get your head squared away." Tara smiled and looked at me like she was waiting for my reaction.

"My head's not squared away?"

"I'm sure you're functioning well, but I don't think you've allowed yourself to feel whatever grief or anger or fear that your divorce created in you."

"Really? Why?"

"It's uncomfortable to face feelings that make us vulnerable. I've watched you for many years, Mr D. You're always the guy putting the positive face on everything that happens, pointing out the silver lining. Your optimism is inspiring, and it's super helpful to the people you support. But that's because they're already feeling the pain, so to speak. Your support acts as a welcome counterweight to their stresses, so it helps bring them back into balance.

"But when it's your pain, your optimism doesn't let you acknowledge the negative thoughts you have. It gets in the way of feeling that anger and fear and remorse and grief. And if you're not acknowledging those feelings, then your stuffing them down. They're still there, but you're not processing them. You're stuck, and you're all out of emotional balance."

That actually made sense to me. God, these women are amazing. How do I deserve them?

"So how do I get unstuck?"

Tara draped her long thin arms around me and rested her chin on my shoulder. "I'm going to be your Mr D, Mr D. You need to process all these pent-up emotions, and I'm going to be right here to take care of you and keep you safe and supported while you do it."

A sob exploded from me like one of Tara's wonderful laughs. I didn't know it was there, so I couldn't stop it. It was as if her words lanced a boil and suddenly a lot of gunk spewed forth. She squeezed me tight, and she may have whispered endearments or even just hummed along as she rocked me ever so slightly. I cried for a minute or maybe a little more while she held me. As I recovered my composure mortification slid in.

"Sorry for that outburst, Tee. I don't know where that came from."

"Shh." She kissed me on my cheek. "It's totally fine. In fact, I'm so happy that you feel safe enough with me to let your emotions go like that. If I didn't want to jump your bones already -- which I most definitely did -- I'd be so horny for you right now."

Well that gave me a completely inappropriate erection. Please don't notice, please don't notice, please don't notice, I thought. And fortunately she didn't.

* * * * *

La Traviata and I finally got on the same page. Tara looked gorgeous in a shimmery teal blouse and charcoal pencil skirt, the outfit perfectly complimenting her willowy silhouette. She'd styled her strawberry blonde hair so it fell in waves around her face and shoulders, and when she tossed her head to shake it out she overwhelmed the valet holding open her car door. The maitre'd noticed the bullet points in her blouse, but he wasn't obvious about it and he smoothly led the way to a secluded table in one of the many private corners of the restaurant. He held her chair, and he was momentarily bewitched by the big smile she gave him. Tara was a stunner, not so much from her looks as from her attitude. She just exuded coolness and confidence and kindness. She connected with everyone around her. With more life experiences there wouldn't be a man who could resist her. I was already lost to her charms.

"What a beautiful restaurant. Thanks for taking me here, Mr D."

"You're welcome, Tara. I wouldn't want any of the other girls to have bragging rights over you, after all." I winked at her, and she smiled indulgently.

"So you bring all your dates here?"

"Only the ones who mean the most to me."

She actually blushed at that. "Oh, my. The odds of you getting lucky tonight just soared. From like 98 percent up to 99 percent. And that last percent is only because you haven't actually indicated that you'd like to get lucky."

"I can't think of anything I'd like more."

Her blush went full force, and she shivered slightly. Those points on her unfettered breasts sprang up again and pushed out against her silk blouse. "You say the nicest things, Mr D."

We ordered appetizers and entrees, we talked, we ate our carpaccio and then our salads and then our pastas, and we drank a very nice bottle of Montepulciano. Tara shared a little more about her class project that starred Beth and me -- names were changed to protect the tragic -- and she talked about the kinds of jobs she wanted to pursue after graduation. I told her the least boring parts about my work and a little about a vacation Beth and I once took to Bermuda. Tara had said she'd like to go there one day. We shared a dark chocolate cake with a scoop of gelato for dessert, and I ordered port for us. She didn't care for port either -- everyone has a fault, I suppose -- so I drank most of hers too.

Even more than her friends, Tara had a gift for making me feel comfortable. She just seemed in control of herself and everything around her. I sensed that everything would turn out all right because her presence assured it. Dining with her, walking out of La Traviata with my arm around her waist, getting into the car, driving home while we held hands over the center console, everything felt firmly within my capabilities. She just infused me with belief.

Until it came time to get ready for bed. Only it wasn't me who faltered, it was Tara.

We entered the condo holding hands, and once I'd locked the door behind me, I tugged gently on her hand to stop her movement. I pulled her to me, encircling her waist with my arms, clasping my hands together and resting them on the slight curve of her ass. I kissed her deliberately but playfully, leaving tongue out of it for now, then looked into her beautiful eyes.

"Tara, thank you for a wonderful evening. You are an amazing woman. I'm very lucky to have you in my life."

I felt her melt against me, and she actually stammered a little before shaking her head and leaning forward to kiss me.

"I'm so glad to be here," she whispered.

I held her hand and walked us back to the master bedroom. When I watched this young woman navigate the world with such confidence and competence it was easy to forget that her sexual experience was only a few years old and, if it was anything like my early-adult years, very sporadic. And her previous partners were likely inexperienced too. I could be the guide here, help her find her sexual footing.

We stood next to the bed, kissing. I put my hands on either side of her head and kissed her with purpose, to control but not to dominate. She placed her hands lightly on my forearms caressing them gently. I kissed her, communicating passion but giving her room to reciprocate. She was content to let me set the pace.

I pulled her blouse from the waistband of her skirt and began unbuttoning it from the bottom. I knew she was braless, so when my hands undid the top button I slipped my fingers inside, spread the blouse open, then palmed her small-but-very-firm breasts. She inhaled sharply and then moaned softly as my thumbs found her prominent nipples and stroked them. I rumbled in my throat to show her how much fondling her tits turned me on.

After kneading her chest for a couple minutes, I slid my palms down and felt for the zipper of her skirt. The zipper went down with no trouble, but it took three tries to free the tiny hook from the loop so her skirt could slide down her legs to the floor. She hung onto me, kissing me gently, wearing just her open blouse, tiny lace panties, and three-inch heels. I thought she might undress me, but she made no move, so I just kissed her while running my hands lightly over her body from her shoulders to her tight, firm ass.

When I pulled back from her, her eyes were mostly closed and she had a fuzziness about her features, as if she were dreaming. After a few moments she opened her eyes, and after a couple more moments they focused on mine. I smiled at her.

"You are so hot," I said.

She smiled too. "You're overwhelming me."

I started unbuttoning my shirt, holding her eyes with my gaze. I slipped my shirt off, then slid her loose blouse off her shoulders too. I tossed them aside. I toed off my shoes and socks while I undid my belt and slid my pants down. Wearing only my boxer briefs I put my hands on Tara's hips and moved her backwards to the bed. She sat when the backs of her knees hit the mattress, and I slipped off her heels. I put my hands on her hips to guide her to the middle of the bed. I followed her, and when she came to rest I laid my chest across hers and resumed kissing her.

I explored her body, kissing her from her forehead and down her nose to her ears and neck and down to her breasts. Tara surprised me with her passivity -- she absorbed everything I did, gasping and moaning her pleasure, but she never made a move to return my worship. She raised her hips and pulled her feet up to help me pull off her panties, then spread her legs so my hands and eventually my mouth could pillage her pussy. She was trimmed there, and she was succulent, and she writhed about when I brought her to climax, but she still did not reach for me. Instead she rested hazily with her hands relaxed next to her head, her eyes closed, the corners of her mouth turned up in a small smile. I stroked her inner thighs softly, sometimes running a finger lightly over her slit, which made her shudder every time.

Once her breathing returned to normal I stopped playing to see what she'd do. I bent my elbow and propped up my head to watch her. After a few moments she opened her eyes and looked at me. Her eyes shined and she smiled.

"Wow. That really was incredible, Mr D."

"You seemed to enjoy it. But are you sure you want to do this with me?"

Tara reached out and lightly traced the side of my face with the back of her fingers. "I'm sure. Why do you keep asking me that?"

"You don't seem particularly interested in joining the fun. I mean, you're a young and beautiful woman, so I'm happy to play with your amazing body. But most of my enjoyment from sex comes with sharing the experience. I get off on interacting with my partner."

"You want more encouragement."

"That's part of it. We are new to each other. I want to please you, but I don't know what you like. I don't mind learning for myself, but it can be so much better when you tell me. And I like to know that I turn you on too."

"Isn't it obvious?"

"Not really. You haven't done any exploring of my body at all." I smiled at her to show I wasn't upset. "I really enjoy exploring your body. You're so tight and smooth, and you smell and taste so good."

She was quiet for a beat, then bit her lip. She looked away from me.

"Hey," I said, tucking a bent finger under her chin and bringing her around to face me again. "You can say anything to me you want. No need for embarrassment or regret. I love being with you, Tee, and you are a gorgeous and sexy woman. Communication is important in any relationship, and talking about sex is the best way to make it great. What are you thinking about?"

She shrugged. "I want to be a good partner for you, Mr D. But I don't really know how. I've only been with five guys before now, and they all felt me up, got me wet, jumped on, pumped away, and then got off. I thought that was how people did it. What you've done is way more than anything I've had before."

I wrapped her in a big hug and pulled her tightly against me. She could feel my erection against her flat belly, even if it had flagged a bit from earlier. I squeezed her, then leaned my head back so I could look her in the eyes.

"Oh, Tee, this week is going to be so much fun!"

* * * * *

And it was.

The tease about her fantasies was, at first, just that. I had to show Tara absolutely everything sexual once, because as composed as she was outside the bedroom, she really had no clue how things worked in it. But I never had to show her anything twice. Well, that's not exactly true. She loved riding cowgirl, so I had to show her that at least once a day, and when she discovered scissor sex around midweek we had to include that in our regular lovemaking as well.

Tara was nearly insatiable in bed. During our first few trysts I spent a lot of time warming her up, but as the days ticked by she'd already be well lubricated by the time we got our clothes off. We always fucked first thing in the morning, and we closed our days with an hour or more of sex at night. We only missed pre-dinner sex one day, and that was because I had a late meeting. So that night we started our bedtime session after we cleaned up the kitchen, and it lasted nearly three hours until well after 11pm.

Her orgasms started off mild as she learned the basics, but as Tara experienced more intense climaxes she became obsessed with having a shattering orgasm every day. I'm happy to say she usually got her way. She was so open and trusting that we tried anything we could dream up. And we dreamed up a lot. Oral sex was a given, and she was an enthusiastic giver and a welcoming and responsive taker. Mouths and lips and tongues on genitals were staples every time we had sex.