Orphan Ch. 30-33

Chapter 30

Dinner that evening was a quiet affair. Le Tessier was wise enough not to try to coax Roxane out of her melancholy, keeping any conversational topic light and trivial, so that Roxane could reply or not, as she chose. She picked at her food, barely tasting it, and at last laid down her cutlery and sat back.

"Uncle Silas, I fear I have no appetite. If you will excuse me, I think I shall retire early."

"A moment please, my dear?"

"Of course. What is it?"

Her uncle gazed at her for a moment, his face showing only a gentle concern. He drew a breath. "I know that what I say will be of little consolation to you, my dear niece, but you know as well as I do that Alex is a man of honour. If his duties take him into danger he will face it unflinchingly. There is nothing you can do that will change that. You intend to write to him?"

"Of course. I plan to start a letter to him after church each Sunday and add to it as I can during the week, then take it to the packet office each Saturday. I know that it might be months before any mail might reach Alex, but we agreed that I should number each letter."

Le Tessier nodded. "A sound notion." He mused for a moment. "A suggestion? Keep your letters cheerful. Alex will serve his country better without worrying about you."

Roxane gave her uncle a wan smile. "I planned to do that in any event, Uncle Silas. Alex told me that a sailor far from home welcomes even the most trivial of news from those he left behind." She grimaced. "However, dear uncle, I feel far from cheerful at the moment. Perhaps a night's sleep will help, so if you will excuse me?"

"Of course. Good night, my dear. Sleep well."

"Good night."

She made her way to the kitchen. Mrs Trevelyan was sitting with her husband, sharing a moment of relaxed privacy. She smiled at Roxane.

"Yes, Miss Roxane?"

"I'm retiring early tonight, Mrs Trevelyan. Might I have some hot water?"

"Of course. I'll bring it up in a moment or two."

"Thank you." She glanced around. "Molly is not with you?"

Mrs Trevelyan shook her head. "I sent her to bed. I think she misses Mr Jenkins too much at the moment, for she lacks concentration. After all, it was but this afternoon that they parted. Perhaps she'll be better in the morning, after a night's sleep." The housekeeper fixed Roxane with a steady look. "As, perhaps, you will yourself, Miss Roxane?"

Roxane acknowledged the housekeeper's concern with a rueful smile. "Perhaps I shall. For now, 'tis me to my bed. Goodnight to you both."

"Good night."

In her room, Roxane had barely unpinned her hair when there was a tap at her door.

"Your hot water, Miss Roxane."

"Come in, Mrs Trevelyan."

The housekeeper was carrying a jug, her hands protected by a towel. She smiled. "Be careful, Miss Roxane, for the water is hot."

"I shall, Mrs Trevelyan, I shall. Thank you, and good night again."

Alone, Roxane quickly undressed and washed, then slipped her nightdress over her head. About to follow her usual habit and tie her hair back, she paused, and let it hang loose. Smiling to herself, she remembered how much Alex liked to see it spread on her pillow, but that thought brought back the memory of their lovemaking and she felt her eyes fill with tears. Resigned to her misery at their parting, she concentrated on remembering Alex's touch, his kisses, his gentle ways with her. And yes, the reckless abandon of their mutual climax. But for the moment, he was beyond her reach. Tomorrow, she vowed, I shall start my first letter to him, and I shall mention how much I liked his touch. But when shall I feel that touch again, she mused, fighting tears. Damn the French!

Next morning she broke her fast, if not with appetite, at least determination that she must not let herself waste away in misery. She breakfasted with her uncle, as was usual, and as he sat with his tea, after their meal, he fixed her with a steady look.

"You seem a little more yourself this morning, my dear. Did you sleep well?"

She grimaced. "I fear not, Uncle Silas, but I did sleep, even if that rest was not particularly refreshing. I am sure I shall be better tonight, for it was only yesterday that Alex and I parted."

"Quite so." Le Tessier paused. "Do you have any plans for today?"

Roxane paused, but an idea had come to her during the restless night, and that idea still seemed of merit in the light of a new day. She looked across at her uncle.

"Uncle Silas, my mother had begun to teach me a little about the ways of housekeeping, about cooking dishes a little more involved than the simple cookery I learned as a child, about the basics of keeping household accounts, and the like, but we had barely begun when that accursed fire killed her." She paused, and her uncle signalled her to continue. "May I ask if Mrs Trevelyan might take up where my mother left off?" She gestured. "At least then I might be able to look after any home that Alex and I may have in the future."

Her uncle nodded. "A sound idea, dear niece, and I have to say I am happy to agree, with one -- no, two -- provisos."

"And they are?"

"One, you do not come between Mrs Trevelyan and her duties, and, two, that she herself agrees on this."

Roxane smiled. "Dear Uncle Silas, I am more than happy to agree with your provisos."

"Very well, we shall see how Mrs Trevelyan feels about this. Just a moment," said Le Tessier as he rang the handbell to summon Mrs Trevelyan. She arrived in moments.

"Yes, sir?"

"Take a seat for a moment, Mrs Trevelyan, we have something to ask of you."

Surprised, but mostly at ease with her employer, Mrs Trevelyan sat, and turned to Le Tessier, after a glance at Roxane. "Now, sir, what is it?"

Le Tessier indicated Roxane. "My niece has a request to make of you."

Trevelyan nodded, turning to Roxane. "Yes, Miss Roxane?"

Roxane paused for a moment, marshalling her thoughts, then addressed the housekeeper. "Mrs Trevelyan, before my mother died in that terrible fire, she had begun to teach me her ways of cooking, more advanced than the basic knowledge I gained as a girl, and had begun an introduction to the ways of household management. It was my thought that, if you are willing, you might continue my education in these matters. I promise to try my best never to interfere with your work. In fact, in some small way, perhaps I can lighten your load." She gave the housekeeper a smile. "I have my reasons for asking you, for after all, when Captain Gilroy and I are married, it may well be that I must run our home, wherever -- whenever -- that might be."

The housekeeper sat for a moment, then turned to Le Tessier. "You have no objection, sir?"

"None, Mrs Trevelyan. The decision, though, must be yours, and yours alone."

Trevelyan nodded. "Miss Roxane, you must understand that some of my duties may involve the risk of becoming somewhat soiled. If you wish me to teach you, then you must also undertake the less savoury duties as well as the more pleasant ones." She paused. "You understand?"

"I do, Mrs Trevelyan, I do. It would be fair neither to myself or to you if I wished you to show me, or rather, to teach me, only the more pleasant aspects of running a household. If at times I must get dirty, then dirty I shall get!"

Trevelyan nodded, then smiled, a broad, warm smile. "Miss Roxane, I should be delighted to teach you." She turned to Le Tessier. "With your permission, sir?"

"You have it, Mrs Trevelyan, but as I said before, the decision is yours."

"Then my decision is yes. I taught my own two daughters, and they have both fared well with their husbands, so I think I might be able to teach you at least as much, Miss Roxane. When do you wish to start?"

"Whenever it suits you, Mrs Trevelyan. The only task I have in mind for myself at the moment is to begin a letter to Captain Gilroy, and that will keep until I have a spare moment or two."

"Very well, let us begin now. I suggest, though, that you change to one of your older gowns, lest you spill something. I have pinafores, of course, but even so, an older gown is best."

"Indeed. Allow me five minutes to change and I shall present myself for your inspection, and your tuition. In the kitchen?"

Trevelyan nodded. "In the kitchen, yes." She gestured. "You are both finished breakfasting?" she said, as she stood.

"We are, Mrs Trevelyan," said Le Tessier.

"Then I shall clear these things away. No, Miss Roxane, not you, not yet. Away and change first. There will be enough for you to do later, I promise."

"Very well, Mrs Trevelyan. I shall see you in the kitchen directly, ready and willing." she smiled. "And, hopefully, able!"

Chapter 31

Roxane enjoyed working with Louise Trevelyan. The housekeeper was a good teacher, having raised two daughters of her own, seen them married to good husbands, and was now three times a grandmother. Mrs Trevelyan was patient, polite to her employer's niece, but insisted that Roxane carry out the tasks assigned to her correctly. She started Roxane on simple tasks, and saw them mastered before she would move on.

"Why so many repetitions, Mrs Trevelyan?" Roxane asked the housekeeper one day, having already completed the task she'd been set four times.

"So that it becomes natural for you, Miss Roxane," was the smiling reply. "Learn to do the simple tasks automatically, and you will be able to think about other things while you work. Deciding what needs to be ordered, perhaps, or deciding on the meals you wish to serve during the coming days." Mrs Trevelyan paused, thoughtful. "I'll say this, Miss Roxane, for someone with your admitted inexperience, I find your appetite for learning quite inspiring."

Roxane laughed. "It has been but two weeks, Mrs Trevelyan. I fear that perhaps when I move on in my cooking, especially to those dishes with more, um, intricate preparation involved, I shall find my skills wanting and my enthusiasm waning."

The housekeeper nodded. "You will, but only at first. I think you'll find that as your skills grow what at first seemed ever beyond you will become possible, even familiar."

"But not yet?"

Mrs Trevelyan shook her head, smiling. "No, not yet, Miss Roxane. I will say this, though, I do not think it will be long before the preparation of more complicated dishes will be possible for you, not long at all."

"And I'll be able to prepare an evening meal for my uncle?"

The housekeeper nodded. "Indeed so, Miss Roxane. But not yet."

Roxane smiled back at the older woman with genuine affection. "Very well, then. What next?"

The housekeeper beckoned, and Roxane followed her into the cool store. Hanging on a hook were two dead rabbits, freshly caught that morning, Roxane knew. Mrs Trevelyan took the rabbits from the hook and led Roxane to a scrubbed wooden bench in the corner of the cool store, a nearby window admitting sufficient light for anyone working at the bench. She placed the two rabbits on the bench and turned to Roxane.

"Have you ever skinned and gutted a rabbit?"

Roxane swallowed. "No, never."

Mrs Trevelyan nodded. "Watch me carefully while I do the first one, then. But first, I'll show you how to ensure your knives are sharp. This way."

At dinner that evening with her uncle, after they'd finished eating, Le Tessier stopped her as she made ready to leave the table.

"A moment, please, my dear."

"Of course, Uncle Silas. What is it?"

"How goes your learning with Mrs Trevelyan?"

Roxane laughed. "Well, I think. I do not think I made too many mistakes on my first attempt to skin and gut a rabbit today. At least, Mrs Trevelyan did not scold me."

"You are perhaps enjoying your learning?"

"I am, rather more than I expected. Mrs Trevelyan is a good teacher."

"Capital. Now, Roxane, I have a surprise for you."

"A surprise, Uncle Silas? Pray tell me, what is it?"

"A letter for you, from Alex. It arrived just before dinner. One of the lads from the packet office fetched it on his way home. I did not give it to you earlier as I did not want your excitement to spoil your dinner."

Roxane smiled. "Cruel Uncle Silas. Pray tell me, where is this letter?"

Le Tessier reached into his jacket and took out an envelope, passing it across to her. "Here, my dear. Take it into the parlour and read it in privacy. I shall ask Mrs Trevelyan to bring you some tea directly. I shall be in my study if you need me."

"Thank you, dear uncle. Will you excuse me?"

Le Tessier nodded, laughing. "Go!"

In the parlour, Roxane studied the envelope. How it had reached her, she neither knew nor cared. What did matter was that it was from her beloved Alex. She took a deep breath and opened it. Inside the envelope were three sheets of closely written letter, and another envelope. Curious she turned it over, and smiled to see the inscription, 'Molly Dubois', written in a different hand. She smiled, and reached for the bell beside her. As she expected, it was Molly who answered.

"Yes, Miss Roxane? Was there something you wanted?"

"Only a moment of your time, Molly. I have something for you."

"For me? Whatever is it?"

"A letter, Molly, from John Jenkins. It was inside my own letter from Captain Gilroy. Here, take it."

Molly reached out a suddenly trembling hand and took the letter from Roxane, clutching it with both hands.

"That was all, Molly, thank you," said Roxane, and paused, noting the look on Molly's face. "What is it, Molly? Is something wrong?"

The young maid raised her eyes to Roxane's. "I cannot read," she whispered.

"Ah. I see. Mrs Trevelyan can read it to you," said Roxane, but noticed the hesitation. "Or would you prefer that I did it?" she added gently.

"Would you do it?" said Molly. "Please?"

"Of course. Now?"

The young maid frowned. "I fear it will have to be later. I still have duties this evening."

"When you bring the hot water for my toilet later? Perhaps then? Or if you wish, I shall ask for you to be excused for a little while now, so that I may read it to you."

"Oh, yes! Please?"

Roxane smiled. "Of course. Come, we shall ask Mrs Trevelyan now."

In the kitchen Mrs Trevelyan was sorting dirty dishes. She glanced up at their entry, and smiled. "Was there something, Miss Roxane?"

"Indeed so, Mrs Trevelyan. Molly has received a letter from Mr Jenkins, enclosed within my own from Captain Gilroy. Might she be excused from her duties for long enough for me to read it to her?"

"I was about to start washing the dishes, Miss Roxane. If Molly could assist me with that now, then she may have the remainder of the evening free. Would that suit?"

"Molly?" said Roxane.

"Oh, yes. Thank you Mrs Trevelyan, thank you."

The housekeeper smiled. "Very well, Molly, but dishes first!"

Molly turned to Roxane and thrust her precious letter into Roxane's grasp. "Will you be in the parlour, Miss Roxane?"

"I shall, Molly." She laughed. "For now, I shall be reading my own letter!"

"I shall be there directly."

In the parlour, Roxane sat and opened her own letter again, then noticed a slip of paper still in the envelope. She took it out, seeing 'Read this first' in large letters across the top. Relaxing in her chair, the paper held so that the light fell upon it, she began to read.

Read this first!

My dearest, darling Roxane,

I think this letter may reach you somewhat sooner than I had anticipated. Forgive me, my love, for it is somewhat unfinished, but it is my thought that you would prefer to read an unfinished letter at an earlier date than a somewhat longer one at some uncertain date in the future. We have been fortunate enough to encounter a brig en route to England and the captain has agreed to carry mail for us. I am therefore sending this letter in the hope that it reaches you soon. I am also enclosing a letter from Jenkins for his Molly. I feel sure that you will advise her with all dispatch.

With all my love,

Alex

Roxane sat back, smiling. Yes, she had indeed advised Molly 'with all dispatch', and yes, she would much prefer to receive a shorter letter at an earlier date. She put the note aside and opened the letter, settling back with anticipation.

My darling Roxane,

I begin this first letter to you on the eve of the day we parted, and would that it were not so! Much as I would love to have you with me, their Lordships of the Admiralty do not allow wives on board, save occasionally in port. More to the point, my love, I would not willingly take you into danger again. You are too precious to me to risk your life. I think it well that my first officer, Sam James, is a competent and trustworthy soul, as I fear I have spent most of the time since we parted in something of a daze. Thinking of you, of course, and of those two magical nights we managed to spend together. Until my dying day I shall remember the loveliness of your naked body, the beauty of your hair spread upon the pillow, and the love in your eyes when you welcomed my invasion.

She smiled. Oh, yes! She had indeed welcomed his invasion of her body. She closed her eyes, remembering, feeling a heat in her core and, yes, a dampness between her legs, imagining the touch of his calloused but gentle hands upon her, the thrust of the broad, blunt head of his penis -- his cock! - as it moved into her, the brief pain of his entry, the pleasure that followed, the taste of his lips on hers. She sighed, a little sad, for it might be months before she felt such pleasure again.

She read on, but he made no more reference to their love-making, instead amusing her with little anecdotes about his ship and crew, including a reference to Midshipman Jenks having declared that he would not wash the cheek she had kissed, 'until Bonaparte is defeated'.

He is quite the envy of his fellow Midshipmen, Alex wrote, and is making the most of it. I must say, my love, your address to my crew seems to have inspired them! They were always an excellent crew, with the obvious exception of that evil villain, Scroggs, although even he was a good sailor, but there seems extra purpose to them now, for which I feel you must take the credit.

And on that cheerful note, I must close this letter here, my love, as we have encountered a brig, the Helen, sister ship to my old command, the Mary. She is bound for England and her captain has agreed to carry mail for us. Believe me when I say I count the days until we can be together again. But until then I remain,

Your loving,

Alex

Roxane sighed and laid the letter aside. How long would it be, she wondered. Too long, that was for sure! She sighed again, and folded the letter back into its envelope. There was a tap at the door and she smiled.

"Come in, Molly."

The door opened and Molly came in, looking both expectant and nervous. Roxane smiled at her and gestured to a seat.

"Sit down, Molly." She paused. "Does John Jenkins know you cannot read?" she asked, her tone gentle. Mute, Molly shook her head, and Roxane nodded. "It may be that John makes reference in his letter to, um, matters of intimacy between you. This could cause some embarrassment, having someone else read it. Does that bother you? I swear, no-one else will know the content of the letter unless you give permission."

Molly gestured, colour high in her cheeks. "You already know I shared his bed, Miss Roxane, as I know you shared the Captain's."

"Indeed, Molly. Now, your letter?"

"Please."

Roxane reached for the letter beside her, and passed it to Molly, who took it, a little surprised. Roxane smiled. "It is your letter, Molly. It is only right that you should be the one to open it."

Molly laughed. "Indeed so, Miss Roxane." She opened the letter carefully, revealing two pages of writing, and a small pencil drawing. Molly stared at the drawing, then passed it to Roxane. "Look," she said, "'tis the Pelican!"