Our Friends and Siblings

"Pretty good," he said over the water," finished class early today, I'm leaving for work in about an hour, so I took advantage."

An hour, that would be enough.

"Glad to hear that, actually, I need to take a shower right now too."

"Oh, ok then. Let me just finish up and I'll be out of your hair,"

"No need," I said to him.

Removing my clothes and putting them on the basket I opened the curtains to the shower surprising my brother.

"I'm not done yet," he responded in confusion.

He could be a bit slow sometimes.

"That's fine," I said, I'm just starting."

Taking a step forward I put his lips to mine, exchanging a kiss as our arms wrapped around each other letting the water fall over us like rain. Our tongues entered deeply into each other's mouths, my fingers now running through his wet hair as he held my hips. I felt his penis throbbing hard on my stomach and I rubbed hard against it, its incredible form touching my skin turning me on as well.

I grabbed his cock, running my hand up and down on it and playing with the base of his head with my thumb, my other hand cupped his balls which I massaged as well. This seemed to inspire his own hands to wander more adventurously around my body as one of them grabbed my breast the other went down to my pussy. Playing with both my nipple and my clit at the same time we continued to kiss with even more passion, each trying to bring the other to orgasm coming ever closer to the finale.

Putting a stop to our kiss he lowered his head, kneeling in front of me and lifting one of my legs over his shoulder. One of my hands took a hold of the wall while the other I put behind his head. His tongue ran over my pussy, kissing me tenderly while his fingers began to rub me. Opening me, he found my clit with his mouth and began to suck on it as he introduced his middle finger inside. Finding the right pace for his finger and strength for his mouth I could barely hold myself together as he overflowed my body with pleasure.

My trembling, I nearly lost my balance and my knees buckled as I came on my brother's face, my juices mixing and disappearing with the running water into his mouth. Lifting him off the floor I switched places with him, immediately getting on my knees and putting his penis into my mouth, sucking on it as I played with his balls as well. His organ felt incredible as I sucked on it, his precum giving me a preview of the taste I loved most. His breathing telling me that he was close, he took his dick out of my mouth, so I switched to his balls, sucking on them with as much passion and drive as I had done with his cock.

Half a minute later I knew he was finishing; I took my opportunity and removed his hand and deepthroated him as far as I could. The cum hit the back of my throat, its flavor filling my tongue, I looked into his eyes with complete satisfaction letting him know exactly what he caused in me. Afterward, I cleaned him off completely with my tongue trying to keep the water from doing my part of the job.

"Jesus Christ Logan, we needed more shower sex in our lives."

"Oh definitely," I said finishing with his cock. "Think I still need to finish showering though, wanna help me?"

"Oh hell yes," he said with a smile.

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"Hey, can I ask you something about your brother?" asked Jenny.

"Ok," I said nervously.

"Is he seeing anyone right now?"

My brief second of relief was quickly overturned by my jealousy, I kept that hidden as well.

"Well, he's interested in some girls in his class I think," I lied.

"But not actually dating?"

"No, why?"

"It's ok," she laughed, "I get it, it would be weird because of us, I shouldn't pursue it."

I tried my best to keep cool and pretend like I didn't care but it was clear to her I was troubled.

"Hey, I'm sorry," she said, "I promise I won't do anything. You know how important our friendship is to me and I don't want to ruin anything between us, I'll leave it alone."

"No, it's fine," I told her, "Sure it's a bit awkward but I really wouldn't mind, it's just that he's struggling through school right now and he isn't interested in dating anyone so, I don't think he would agree to go out with anyone."

"I thought you said he was interested in a few girls in his class?" she pointed out.

"Yeah, but he won't pursue any of them,"

Her look of disappointment was now replaced with a look as if she was lost, be it in thought or in her state of mind. It was clear that she was going through something and needed to talk, not my strength, but I would give it a shot.

"Everything ok?"

"No," she said now lying down on the bench we were sitting on.

"It's Brian," she continued, "I was just hoping that, once you shot him down, I would get the chance to be with him,"

"You mean, once I broke his heart you would swoop in and console him in his time of need, making him fall in love with you instead?"

"Basically," she responded.

"That's pretty shitty my dude,"

"I know," she curled up on my lap, "I should've just been honest with him, but I guess he moved on faster than I expected him too,"

"Jenny, I love you but, he might not be the best person for you, he's a great guy deep down but seeing the way he is around some girls, he might just end up hurting you in the long run,"

"I know," she said sitting up, "but then why do I still want to be with him?"

She rested her head on my lap, now with a few tears coming out of her eyes. I caressed her face not knowing what the best response was for this and deciding that this was enough. She needed to know I was there for her, and that I always would be.

That night, I was lying down on my bed while Henry took a shower, I finished up my homework and we prepared for bed. Talking about our days I was more distracted than normal and did my best to just ignore my feelings, but I was thinking about Henry and me, I mean, actually thinking about it.

Despite my best attempts to do so, I couldn't keep Jenny out of my mind. She and my brother together was extremely painful to imagine or maybe it was just the idea of me and Henry not being together. But deep down I also knew there were other thoughts in the back of my mind, where I had done my best to keep them and hide them for me to ignore.

Henry and I had never truly processed this whole thing, never actually put it into words, preferring instead to let it happen and flourish than ever put it into words. Did it start as simply sex? Was it always just that? We were far more intimate than most siblings or even friends with benefits, were there any other feelings involved?

I loved Henry, maybe more than I knew or wanted to say, and all I ever wanted was for him to have a happy life with people he could share his feelings with openly. But how could he do that with me? I was his sister, we could never be a couple, not really. I mean sure, it's not like I wanted to get married in the future and have kids, and I wasn't planning on going out on couples' dates with my brother and married best friends.

But relationships were more than that, just the simple act of being together in public meant we had to keep something secret, we could only ever be our true selves around each other and that meant being dishonest with everyone else. A relationship, between us, would mean making each other's life miserable. We could never have an actual life together; he could never be truly happy.

"What's wrong?" Henry asked me.

"Nothing... I'm just... dealing with some stuff, but I'll be ok." I looked away wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Hey, it's all right, you can tell me," he said quietly, holding my hands in his.

I didn't know what to say to him, how to express my fear, my fears for our relationship, this forbidden thing that would keep him unhappy forever.

"I just... I just need you to hold me, ok?"

I put my head on his shoulder, our arms around one another as I finally broke down and cried, hearing him talk to me and telling me everything was going to be fine. It didn't matter if it wasn't true, I just needed to hear him say it.

Lying down on the bed, he cuddled me, my hands on his arms, and feeling his chest on my back I continued to cry as I felt all my emotions draining away encouraging me to keep doing so until I felt better. With no more tears to give and thoughts to process, I only needed to go to sleep now. With my brother holding and comforting me, that would be an easier task.

---------------------------------------------

I took the drinks out of the fridge and passed them around, listening in to the jokes and chatter. Sitting next to Brian, I handed him his beer while he put his arms around me. Looking around I could see my brother with Jenny, her hand on his bicep and staring into his eyes with more interest than he showed in her. I hoped this would work for the both of us, even if we had to pretend for a while, eventually, it would get easier.

"Isn't that true Logan?" asked Brian.

"I'm sorry?"

"I was telling the guys about how long it took me to finally convince you to go out with me, you're a strong-headed girl I tell you,"

He kissed my cheek, leaving it cold and my skin crawling. I tried my best to force myself into liking this, the party, the strangers Jenny and Brian invited, but now I just hoped the night would end quickly and that Brian would go home.

I was surrounded by the crowd and blaring music, and yet I felt as if I was alone in a silent room, detached from any kind of emotion the surrounding should evoke. Colder and colder my hands became numb at the touch of the drink that they held, uncaring of the pain it induced as I waited for something that could break my haze.

I went outside, unable to bear anything anymore; Brian, Henry, everyone. I needed time to be alone and think to myself. Leaning on the balcony I struggled internally between questioning my thoughts and feelings or just shutting them off as I had done until now. Breaking down in silent tears I was finally face to face with the reality of my situation.

I knew that it would be difficult and that I would miss Henry, but I told myself it was for the best to no longer have any secrets from the world and just live a normal life, even if neither of us wanted to live that life. I wanted him to be happy, I wanted him to be free from this taboo life, yet I was trapped and imprisoned inside my own head as the emotions I shared space with cut me deeply. No matter how much it hurt, I was ready to suffer through it as long as Henry would get the happiness he deserved.

"Hey," said Brian coming out of the apartment.

"Hey," I responded wiping tears from my eyes, "sorry, I just needed some fresh air, I'll come back inside in just a few minutes."

"It's ok, you can take your time"

Standing next to me he waited, quietly in the dark, the awkward feeling of silence making a barrier between us that grew longer and longer.

"You're not happy," said Brian.

"What?" I responded.

"With me, this relationship, you're not happy and you don't want to do this."

"No Brian, that's not true, it's just that..."

"You don't have to lie, or at least, don't lie to yourself,"

"Brian..."

"I like you Logan, a lot. You're beautiful and brilliant and I love how awkward and silent you are, I love how reserved you can be and all the little mistakes you make, you're a mess, and It drives me crazy, crazy for you."

He took my hands and continued

"That's why I want you to be happy, I need you to find someone who's right for you. So, I'm going to have to break up with you now so you can do that,"

I couldn't believe I was hearing this from Brian, and though I tried my best to hide it, it gave me the feeling of release that I desperately needed at that moment.

"Brian, I'm so sorry, you're..." having no other words to say I simply hugged him as more tears fell down my cheek.

"It's ok, I hope you find that person."

"I hope you do too," I said giving him one last kiss on the cheek.

"Wait here, I'll tell the guys the party's over, and we'll go," he said walking back into the room.

Avoiding the departing crowd, I sat away from the door looking at all the guys and girls who had come and made a mess of our apartment. Once they were all gone, I returned and opening the door I saw Jenny now alone, on the couch staring at her bottle. With Henry nowhere to be seen I figured something had happened.

"Jenny? Everything ok?"

"Yeah," she said shuffling on the couch, "I'll be ok."

"Where's Henry?"

"In your room, we broke up,"

"Oh sweety, I'm so sorry to hear that, what happened?"

"Just talked, we knew it wasn't going to happen, so we ended it."

I hugged her, I wasn't the most comforting person in the world but I knew that this would be enough.

"You'll be happy, you'll find what you're looking for," I told her.

"What happened?" asked Brian coming back into the apartment.

"I'm fine," said Jenny, "what happened to you? Were you crying?"

"It's nothing," he responded with a red face, "I'll live,"

"Guess we're both losers tonight huh?" retorted Jenny.

"Wanna cry our sorrows at my place?"

"Sure," she said, a smile running across her face.

Brian took her hand, helped her off the couch and hugged her. For one moment they stared at each other as if trying to find something they were both looking for.

"Thanks for the party, Logan, it was fun," she said.

"Thank you, Logan." Repeated Brian.

They walked out, together, Jenny holding on to Brian with her head on his shoulder and his arm around her body.

Looking around I saw the mess everyone had made; plastic cups littered the floor and the furniture had been moved begging to be returned to their original posts. Instead, I left the trash behind as I walked towards my room. Opening the door I saw Henry sitting on the bed with a look as if he were waiting for me.

"Hey, need a hand cleaning?" he asked me.

"No," I answered, "we can do that later I think."

I sat down on the bed next to him, we looked away from each other staring into the void with the low buzz of the city's sounds coming through the walls giving the silent room a nice background for us to share.

"Hey Logan, about what you said before..." said Henry interrupting our quiet moment.

"Yeah?"

"I know it's complicated, because of us, because we're family, and we both decided that being normal siblings was probably the best option for us, and I still think that."

"I know, it's just too much of a risk," I told him.

"So, we both agree that it's just a smarter idea to not be together?" he asked.

"Objectively speaking, yes, it's the better option for the both of us."

"Oh, ok," said my brother now looking down at the floor.

Whatever thought was going through his head at that moment was interrupted, however, by me pushing him into the bed and straddling his hips. Our mouths met and our arms held each other close, we kissed as we let all our concerns go away. This was our true wish, the only place we belonged and could be happy together.

He switched places with me. Now on top Henry held my face in his hands as we stared into each other's eyes, his a bright reflection in the dark. We both needed the other at that moment and there was no more time to waste. I began to remove his shirt, him my pants, his belt hit the floor and soon after so did my top while his hands grasped the back of my bra. Our two bodies were a single form in the darkness of the room, our love uniting us physically and mentally.

We had been naked together many times before. We had made love, but tonight there was a new power to the moment. A product of that great crossroad we had passed before, those fears and worries about the future had always crushed us, but now, there was no secret worry or hidden anxiety for us, just me and Henry together as we had always wanted.

I felt him, his penis penetrating me as I opened for him wet from the passion of the moment. I spoke to him.

"Please, Henry, I love you."

"I love you too" he answered before kissing me again and starting to thrust.

I felt every one of them all over my body, I asked him to go faster and harder until we found the perfect pace, just the right rhythm to drive me over the edge. My finger ran over Henry's back, his hands holding my breasts, kisses on my neck pushing me even more.

There were no words needed to express ourselves, no more thoughts to go over or process, just two people in love together. My orgasm crashed on me like a wave and his like a falling avalanche. We finished together and we began to slow down to a calming break. His head fell on my shoulder and I used what little energy I had left to kiss his cheek; a small show of affection was all I could give him in return at that moment.

"I want to be with you Logan."

"And I want to be with you, Henry."

"I know it's going to be complicated for us, but I don't care, I just want to be by your side, share our lives together and I want to make you happy. Do you think we'll be able to do it?"

"Together? Yes, no matter what..."

We kissed each other one last time, we embraced and let the dark shadows of the night engulf us, now knowing that we could never be truly afraid as long as we were together.