Our Journey into an FLR Ch. 01

This is part story and part advice from a woman in a female-led relationship. Our personal details are fictitious, and are parts of the story, but much of it is indeed very real. It is written from my (the woman's perspective) which is something that seems quite rare based on what I have seen. A short piece of advice: if you are a woman whose husband or boyfriend has expressed interest in female domination (which can be quite intense if you know what I mean), then I hope that this can help you in your journey. If you are a man who wants his wife/girlfriend to start this journey then ask (politely) that she read it. But for your own sake, don't read beyond the first chapter. I learnt from my dear husband that "knowing what will happen" and having been too involved in making it happen removes some of the feeling of dominance. Now, let's start.

My name is Emma and my husband's name is Michael and we had been together for four years when this story starts, although we had not yet gotten married. We are both of average height and build, staying fit and were in our late twenties. I work in accounting and he works in the finance industry. We are both well-educated and reasonably well off living in a medium-sized town. We met when he just finished his degree which was paid for by his service in the navy. Our sex life was pretty good, although not as exciting as in the first years, and although we both wanted kids we were not at that stage yet. And he wanted to get married before kids, a pretty traditional kind of guy.

Michael had been wanting me to be more dominant to him and had told me about all his fantasies of a female led relationship. Although I cannot say I disliked the idea of him doing more work around the house, pampering me more, and just generally being on a better behavior (which were some of his main arguments), the idea of being in control and having to lead frankly scared me. And so we dabbled a bit in some domination, I spanked him and all sorts of other things but it never left play time, and he felt like he was missing out. We kept talking about doing it and one day it hit me, just because we are doing something he wants it doesn't mean that it has to be on his terms (at least not entirely). Everything in marriage is compromise and so is this, I just need to figure out what we are willing to compromise on and not.

I started reading up on FLR and femdom and everything related to his fantasies and let me tell you, some stuff was pretty shocking. But I also realized that there seems to be some real archetypes. Some guys want pretty hardcore domination, basically being a slave, even a so-called sissy slave (you know, dressed in frilly dresses and all that) whereas others want what I can only think of as a mother. There is even a term for that, mommy-domme. But what Michael wanted was pretty straight up a dominant wife. And it seems most guys with that particular fantasy seem to share the same things, but not always of course. They want a wife that corrects them with spankings, takes control, denies them orgasms and keeps them on edge, expresses dissatisfaction in the size of their dick and is the giver or penetrator (sometimes). Or, using the terminology I had started to learn: spanking, chastity, tease & denial, small penis humiliation (or SPH) and pegging. They tend to not, from what I learned, be into stuff that I mostly associated with BDSM like tied to a cross, whipped, wearing a latex suit and getting peed on. And that eased my mind a bit.

One of the telling things is what outfits for their partners that turn them on. The more hardcore stuff tends toward leather and latex, the BDSM stereotype. So I sat down with him in the living room and asked him what outfits he would want me to wear when I'm dominant. "Well, you know, whatever your comfortable in" he started, in his usual attempt to not push too many things on me. "But in the perfect world, in fantasy, which may not be reality of course, what would I wear when I spank you or dominate you?" I asked. And after some gentle encouragement (i.e. playing with his privates kind of encouragement, always works) he started to explain. Basically, he just wanted me in normal wife clothes, like jeans and a top. Sexy but normal. He also admitted that office attire turned him on, and this fit really well with what I had read. Basically, power dressing. That I can do, I thought.

Now before we go on I should point out that I was pretty aware of most of his kinks, but I had not before made the connection to how he wanted me to be. It helped me to understand that he just wanted a dominant wife. He wanted more of a Claire from Modern Family rather than a dominatrix. Google dominatrix and you will understand what I mean. For the first time I really started to ask him a lot of questions about it, because rather than understanding everything about his various turn-ons, I was now asking about how he saw me in this fantasy. Would he want to call me mistress? Would he want me to be mean or bitchy? Would he want to defer to me for every decision? Would he want to have to ask for permission to do anything? The answer was pretty clearly no on all counts, which at first left me confused because then it just sounded like a normal, happy marriage. Except, I then understood, a marriage where the wife will not hesitate to spank her husband if he's not being a good husband and where from time to time, she will assert her dominance through more sexual means. And yeah, I could really imagine Claire spanking her husband.

One concern for me though was that I wasn't particularly assertive or dominant, in fact I was rather the opposite. I also really did not want a meek, passive man, or a beta-male as the community calls it. The BDSM community that is. I expressed this concern and he was very quick to assure me that he didn't want this either, and explained that he saw himself as a manly and decisive guy (he was, and is) and that part of the attraction of this fantasy was that taboo. That he may be a tough guy in his work and social life, but at home is, quite literally, a bit whipped. So we settled on one of our first important agreements, that he is to be a man in every meaning of the word and if he stops, then this FLR will also stop. We actually even decided that one of the uses for discipline would be to keep to him to that, that I would quite literally punish him if he acted like a submissive beta-male.

I had at this point started to get more comfortable with the idea of it, but I still didn't feel very comfortable doing it, seeing as I am not a particularly dominant person. But I grew up on a farm. My parents weren't farmers (my dad worked in town, my mom was a homemaker) but they liked the life style and we had quite a few animals. Now, with animals I had no problem being decisive, and in particular our dog I had trained quite well. We even did agility competitions. And so I thought, what if I just train my husband like I trained my dog? I mean, training a dog is pretty straight forward. You reward good behavior and deter bad behavior. I want to make it clear that I would NEVER hit a dog, but my husband's backside is a different matter...

One of the hardest things I had found so far was that the few times I had punished him before it was really difficult to get started. Once he was bent over or over my knee it went okay, but getting there wasn't easy. I would ask him if he could maybe consider dropping his pants, with my pleases and thank you's in an honestly meek voice. I just found it hard to order him, to be strict and tough. So this was what we started practicing.

I told Michael that I wanted to try this for real, but to do that I need to get comfortable being dominant. So we would practice some basic commands and once I felt comfortable enough I would start to use them. Now my idea was to really reinforce this behavior with punishments and rewards. If he failed to follow the command properly, I would spank him, and if he complied he would get a reward. Now in reality it actually took me quite some time to figure this out properly, but for the sake of the story and hopeful some good advice, we'll assume I had already read what you are reading right now.

The setup was this. If he complied with the command I would reward him on the spot with some hand stimulation. That is, I would stroke his dick, fondle his balls or finger his ass. Not for long, and definitely not so that he would cum, but enough that it felt good. A reward, plain and simple. If he failed in any way I would spank him. Not a long crazy spanking, but a couple of hard smacks on his butt. Like 4-10 depending on how bad he failed to comply. A note here is that hard really means hard. As a woman it's honestly hard to over do it. And always use an implement, your hand is never enough. To facilitate this I had a couple of implements always at hand. In the kitchen I had a wooden spoon, in the living room I had a wooden hairbrush, in the home office a large ruler, and in the bedroom I had my leather belts. Always a good implement at hand so consequences would be immidatie.

Just like with dogs, consistency is key. So reward or punishment ALWAYS followed a command. Unlike with a dog, which isn't that smart really, I was quite strict from the start. So if I said "pants down" and his pants weren't fully down with his hands behind his head in like two seconds, he would get a spanking. If it took three second it would just be a couple of spanks and a reminder to do it fast. If I had to tell him again, it would be closer to 20. And of course, if he did it as expected, I would tell him "good boy" and fondle him a little.

Now the commands we trained were "pants down", "over my knee", "in the corner", "strip", "on your knees", "assume the position" and "present yourself". Pants down is probably the most important, and the one that gets used the most. He has to pull his pants and underwear (unless he is wearing panties, more on that later) down to at least mid-thigh, put his hands behind his head and stand upright and proper. This shouldn't take more than two seconds so that was the requirement. And let me tell you, once he was well trained, it removed so much of the stress in punishing him, since with two short commands he was bare-butt over my knee. With my dog-training background and his military background we actually fell in to this very naturally and quickly.

Over my knee is pretty self-explanatory. In the corner means just like it sounds, for him to get stand facing a corner. At first I had him do it just with his nose in the corner, but he said that he didn't really feel very constrained by it so we added that his arms should be clasped by the elbows behind his back and his feet shoulder width apart. Strip just meant removing all clothes (again except panties if those were on) and standing shoulder width apart with his hands behind his head.

Assume the position just means pants and underwear (except panties yet again) down and bent over with his hands on his knees, unless I added a place like "assume the position, table" in which case he would do it over the table. Legs should be perfectly straight and his back arched.

Present yourself might be the oddest one here. We actually added it much, much later, but I wish I had done it from the start since it is the most humbling of all and really made him feel my dominance. What it means is that he gets on his knees, with his forehead and/or chest on the floor, pants down, back arched and with his hands spreading his butt cheeks. Literally presenting himself. 99% of the time I would tell him to do it on our bed. This leaves him in a super vulnerable and humiliating position, and after training him to do it, it gave me a really strong tool whenever I felt like I needed to assert myself.

A few notes is that I sometimes added a location, like "strip, bedroom" if the room we were in was a bit to public. Another really important point is that it has to be "proper". No slouching, no bending, no leaning, no tilting. Arms and legs straight and in a proud position. I didn't do this at first but I realized that it made it so much more serious and strict for him, with his military background and all. The final important point is that once he gets into one of the positions, he is not allowed to talk unless spoken to. Once you start doing it, it will be really clear why, because it puts all the power in your hands. He is half naked and not allowed to speak, you have full control suddenly.

Once we got the training wheels off I started to use these commands whenever I felt that some discipline was warranted. Instead of feeling like I had to muster this commanding, dominant voice and order him harshly to do something and then punish him, I would simply utter one of the commands and a few seconds later he would lie pants down over my knee. Not so difficult to dish out his punishment then. Another almost greater benefit was that it gave me some middle-ground. He wanted me to be strict, spanking him for things like attitude, tone or even back-talk. Problem is, I found it hard to decide if I really thought it was a bad tone or attitude sometimes. So instead he just got a "pants down" and then we continued the conversation. If it was an attitude, which usually became apparent then, he would get a spanking, otherwise he just got his reward and a little warning to watch his tone.

As I said earlier, consistency is key. Training needs to be frequent and rewards and punishments consistent. In the beginning I did this everyday. A couple of times on weekdays and a lot more on weekends. I even did full training sessions of around thirty minutes where we just practiced commands. It sounds a bit silly, but it really worked. In fact it worked so well that one time, quite early in this, we got into an argument. We were both tired and stressed and had some unforeseen expense that it hit us and it got really heated. It reached a point where he started to raise his voice and was really angry and suddenly I just went "pants down!" in the middle of his tirade. And wouldn't you know, he just stopped and pulled his pants down mid-sentence. He stood there quietly waiting for me to say something. I realized I should probably spank him but I felt too overwhelmed so instead I just said "in the corner" pointing to the nearest one. He shuffled over and got into position. I sat down and just breathed. After a few minutes I got up, poured myself a glass of wine and got down on the couch. I looked at my phone for a bit and for a little while almost forgot he was standing in the corner pants down and waiting for me to give my next command. I had finished about half the glass when I got up and went into the bedroom to get a leather belt.

Belt in hand I got back to the living room and told him to assume the position over the table. A "yes ma'm" were the only words out of his mouth. When he was in position I said that this is not how you treat your girlfriend. What would his mother say if she knew he was yelling at me, what would my parents say? Is this the kind of man he wants to be, a guy who screams at his girlfriend? He apologized, sincerely, and said how sorry he was. "Well you will be sorry" I responded. I felt like a different person. Then I laid into his ass with a belt. It spanked him really hard and didn't stop when he started to yelp from the pain, or when he started to apologize even more. I just kept going until suddenly I found that he was basically sobbing. Not from the pain, but from the guilt. He really regretted what he had done, even though it was not the first time, but it was the first time he got the consequences he felt that he deserve. No I didn't know all that at the time of course, but I learned afterward.

When I finally stopped his butt was a deep shade of red. I laid the belt down and took a moment to catch my breath. "You can get up now" I said and he got up and turned to face me. He felt really bad I could tell, but I now I also felt a bit bad. I mean, I had whipped his butt really hard. Then I hugged him and he hugged me back so hard, apologizing again and I said it's okay now. I was a bit concerned about the state of his butt so I had him lie face down on the bed and put some lotion on it and we talked about the money situation that had let to allt his. Except now it was calm and constructive and we had it all sorted out by the time I had rubbed the lotion in.

It was a good ending and for the first time, we both felt that I was in charge, for real. That it was an FLR, or at least our FLR, and it actually felt good. I felt assertive. I felt dominant. Afterwards I had him go down on me and pleasure me with his tongue and it felt really good. I didn't let him cum, it didn't feel appropriate, but we were good. And that's how our FLR really started.