Our Journey into an FLR Ch. 02

We had been training commands for several weeks and it started to feel comfortable and easy. As I said in the previous chapter, in the early days I often felt unsure of whether it was a good time to use discipline, and if it was something he should be disciplined for. The easy things were not doing chores. If I say "I want you to do the dishes before lunch" and the dishes weren't done when I was about to start lunch, it was a clear use for a spanking and didn't make it hard for me at all. The hard parts were when we got in an argument, when he got angry about something I had done. Was I in the right? Would he accept it? The other difficult one was when it was unclear. He had made it clear he would accept, and wanted, me to spank him for tone, attitude and backtalk.

But that is a fine line. So what I started with was a simple "when in doubt, issue a command". So if I thought that maybe there was a hint of a bad tone, I just said "pants down". He was immediately humbled and I could ask if he though he had a tone. Depending on the situation he might then get a little reward for following the command, or a spankign for his tone. Likewise, if got into an argument a "pants down" or "strip" diffused all situations. If I already knew he needed a spanking but was thrown off by his temper and behavior, a quick "strip", "corner" or "present yourself" gave me time to catch my thoughts and him to cool down.

Although it would take me months to actually realize it, the new regime was already improving our relationship. We were fighting a lot less, if at all, and I was almost never sad or upset, because he would end up over my knee before we got to that point. We had yet to reach the stage we would come to down the road, where I could actually say that he was a literal dream husband, but our relationship had really and tangibly improved. So why didn't I realize it at the time? I think a lot of women are raised to be very accepting and accommodating, and to some extent I think it is in our nature. Women (and men for that matter) adapt and normalize what is around them. So in the past I had quickly normalized that we would regularly get into arguments and sometimes fights, and now I had normalized that we didn't. But I didn't reflect on the change at the time. Instead it took me many months until I one day realized, I am just happier now than I was. And that, ladies, is the beauty of this. You can actually get a better relationship, a happier life, with a more attentive husband, while at the same time giving him something he craves for. A win-win. Of course it didn't happen over night. It was, as I have said, a journey rather than an event, which brings us back to the next stage of our journey.

I had started to be much more strict with discipline, but I knew he wanted more, and I did not yet feel that assertive. I read up on various humbling aspects of the female led relationship and one thing that seemed so simple, yet powerful, was panties. Yup, women's underwear. I don't think I call them panties ever outside our home, but it seems to be the term to use in the situation.

We had tried this before so it wasn't exactly new, but I wanted to find a simple way to step it up a notch without too much effort involved. What I ended up doing was to go online shopping with him. Now, in every story I have read online the woman always drags the man to a lingerie shop and loudly proclaims that they are buying him panties. I'm guessing that's just fantasy, but even if it isn't, that is way outside my comfort zone, and Michael's for that matter.

At first I didn't tell him exactly what the purpose was. Instead I asked him what he would like on me. After we had looked at a bunch, and he got all excited about me getting new sexy underwear, I asked him what kind of panties felt the most humiliating and submissive for him to wear. Turns out, it was largely the same as what he thought was hot on me, but perhaps slightly less girly. Well, actually, the girlier ones were even more humiliating but pretty much too humiliating for his comfort. That was fine with me. And so we ordered a bunch of underwear. Even though I got them for him to wear, this was still my underwear. We weren't about to replace his boxers with panties (again a favorite fantasy of the online community it seems).

We also looked at yoga pants. These are great because they are comfortable, feminine and humiliating to wear for a man, but still not so over the top like full on women's clothing. The combination also leans well into another aspect that we will be getting into.

Michael prefers me fully shaved, which is pretty common for men. However, I also prefer him to be at least trimmed down there. He is pretty good with grooming but this was another area that got mentioned a lot, and a good sort of private way to implement a bit more control. I sat him down and explained that I want him to be pretty much cleanly shaven and I expect him to always be. We agreed that the weekend is the best time to do it, so every Sunday I would inspect him. If he was shave properly, well you guessed it, reward. And if not, a hard spanking before he goes to shave.

The clothes arrived and he was cleanly shaved, so I made him do a little cat walk, trying on every single pair we ordered. It was quite fun for me, and quite humiliating for him. It was also a great time to get more into small penis humiliation as it is called, or SPH. Basically, telling him his junk is small. A huge turn on for guys like him. Now, I'm not of the mean type and we had talked about that. He admitted that it also felt fake when I tried to be mean, so instead I said other things. I complimented him on how well the panties fit and said "normally guys cannot wear panties properly because their penis doesn't fit, but your fit just perfectly!" and "wow you can barely see that you have a dick with them" and "you could basically pass as a girl in these" and so on. I could see the humiliation, as well as the excitement.

Now, there's an important difference here between those that are into crossdressing and those that are into humiliation. Essentially, the former get turned on by wearing panties, whereas the latter are turned by being forced to wear them. My man is solidly in the latter group and so it is a great tool to assert my dominance and his submission.

In the beginning I had him wear them all the time when at home. It made it easy, and gave me a good reason to spank him if he ever forgot, or disobeyed. In the beginning I forgot to check that he was wearing them and it actually caused our first real snag in our FLR. Essentially, when I forced him to wear them, and checked to make sure that he was, and punished him when he wasn't, he felt that he was under my control all the time. It made the dominant wife aspect really intense. The fact that I could, and did, at any time pull down his pants to check that he was in his panties meant that the sense of being forced was always there, even though I wasn't actually checking him that often. Also, acknowledging that he was wearing them when he undressed for example (usually with a little comment about how well they fit him etc) meant that he always felt forced to wear them.

However, when I did not check that he wore them, did not punish him for forgetting and did not comment upon seeing them, he felt that he was not being forced. Rather, he felt that he was wearing them of his own volition. Suddenly he wasn't a strong man with a dominant wife but rather a crossdressing guy who likes to wear women's underwear. It really tore at his self-image and made him resent me for "making him" such a guy. Luckily, we talked about it and I understood that if I was having him wear them all the time, I had to enforce it. And honestly, it wasn't really a very demanding task.

Now I said that he only ever wears panties in private, but that is not entirely true. He is very concerned with privacy and discretion regarding our activities, but that also gives me an extra tool in my toolbox. I would of course never actually let anyone find out that he wears them, but the mere threat or risk of it has a strong effect. I will for example sometimes not let him take them off if we go outside in the neighborhood. But the best thing is when I have girlfriends over and make him wear them. Turns out he is a great host and stays out of our way when he is constantly thinking about the G-string between his buttcheeks. And teasing (or threatening) him beforehand that I might tell them or even show them what he is wearing definitely keeps him in line, and very excited.

This also leads me into another revelation, that I had a hard time to understand initially. While the idea of having other women around when he wears panties or (at least in fantasy) them witnessing my domination of him is a turn on, doing it with another man is just a complete blocker for him. I have realized that this is pretty much the standard for more alpha-males who want to be dominated by women. Whether it is male competition or simply the fact that he is straight, so the idea of a man witnessing his submission is simply unattractive, it seems deeply rooted. That being said, threatening him with the humiliation of getting shown off in panties or spanked in front of other men is incredibly intense for him, but I use it carefully. Sometimes, a simple "watch it or you will have to keep them on when you go the gym/work/bar" quickly puts him in his place.

However, I didn't really want a man wearing panties full-time so after a few weeks I informed him that it was now going to be by my order. After that I still made him wear them sometimes at random, but usually as a consequence of something. A typical punishment would be a spanking and a week in panties. The pain of the spanking would of course wear off after a day, but the panties stayed on as a reminder of why he got spanked to begin with.