All Comments on 'Our Little Secret? Ch. 02'

Dude - you should have never drafted this horse shit "reconciliation at any cost" crap. Just another ball-less wimp submission that puts a shame to any type of plausible explanation for character development of these pathetic stereotypes. What a waste of time.

You are different kind of bloke!!!!!!!! the kind that should have left this story alone. Well written but the story line was weak. (Good Luck on your next stories.

he slurped the guys jizz from her creampie as soon as the quarterback left that first night - once he was cucked he discovered he loved it and wants more creampies, two or three a day if possible

You did a good job with the story as originally written. I think you did not explore his reaction in the closet enough, though: is he a voyeur, does he want an open marriage, is he self-hating, etc.? I think Mark would be more worried about his reaction and his lack of effort to stop the cheating than you have him here. He also would need to ask her about what she has been doing for their month apart.

It was okay RH. Not the direction I would have taken it but not bad. I loved the fact that you also were disturbed by the story like me - but that unlike me you actually contacted Tony and got permission for a sequel. Bravo.<P>

Also I like how you handled his reaction to getting turned on by watching his wife and the post-orgasmic depression. His disgust with himself felt very real. Also his now feeling rage and gathering evidence. His introspecton about whether he should have confronted her and when are all well done. <P>

But (there's always a but you know) don't you feel the reconciliation was just a tad bit quick? Three weeks out and they are giggling, holding hands and planning dates? I am not (always) a torch the bitch advocate but go back to the original story. (I did get rather carried away with my comments on it then.) Her betrayal is so absolute, her lack of remorse so total that forgiving so quickly - based merely on her say so at this point - seems...wrong. Okay, okay I know you will say they have not actually reconciled yet but really - is there any question that they will?<P>

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Why we he confess first?? She's the one in the shitter, she would speak first, foolish to give your position away when u have the upper hand. Telling her he jerked off? Maybe omit that from the confession. Pretty sparse on her confession, should have been more. No spying? Facebook snooping?? What kind of disabled hubby do we have here? He'd likely follow her or something.... Overall a decent attempt to finish Starks dangling story,

You started out strong, lots of detail and had a good rythym going then u had to end it in 100 words or less. A second page with a longer reconcilliation woulda made this a better read.

It's difficult to take a cheating wife story to a conclusion--whether it's reconciliation or divorce--especially when you're writing in a realistic style.

I think you did this beautifully, though as others have said the ending came rather abruptly. Surely, even if their heart-to-heart was leading towards reconciliation, it would have come more painfully and slowly.

But your writing is great, and I found your dialogue and the feelings of your characters to be very convincing.

Well-done, and I look forward to more stories--

Thanks, ohio

I enjoyed reading this but there are few things I would point out. First, this needed to be a much longer story. There are lots of things in the first story and now this chapter that are left unexplored. The first story deliberately stopped dead after the cheating, leaving the reader to speculate on the outcome. Some authors do that and while I find it frustrating I accept it as a valid approach. However, by picking up the story line you have provided some answers but left other pieces untouched, things that really needed to be addressed if they were going to reconcile. He's a voyeur. OK. That's a bit disconcerting considering the circumstances but not really surprising. It was an erotic scene. He responded. But you don't really work that out. He says what he did. She makes a comment and it's over. The reconciliation was also slammed together. He kicks her out and has serious doubts as to the future of their marriage. They are apart for 4 weeks with only a brief phone call. He's doing a lot of thinking but not very positively. Then they meet ONCE and essentially agree to date and probably fuck. This actually seems like a reward for her fucking around. They supposedly talk about everything and then it all just goes away? WTF? No back and forth, no anger? <br><br>

Then we get to what she did. She plotted a long term deception of her husband to allow her to seduce Kyle. It seems she didn't quite plan to fuck him but she is no longer the naive nerd and she has to be aware she is a very sexual woman. She KNEW where it was likely to go. So she fucks Kyle and it's going to be "their little secret". No remorse. No guilt. I wanted this and I took it, husband be damned! That opens up a BIG hole in trust. I agree that the specific football player issue is probably not going to come up. But she has established she is willing to fuck over her husband to get what she wants. He's OK with that????? Remember there are two parts to this. 1) I am going to fuck another guy 2) I am going to deceive the husband I "love" and threaten our good life together. It's #2 that is more troublesome. Wanting to fuck is a biological drive, almost everyone wants to. Planning to screw over a person you care about is a calculated destructive act. But it is discussed and set aside without further examination. That is VERY unsatisfying. <br><br>

The last issue I have is Mark's guilty attitude about his investigations. It seems like you are trying to create a moral equivalence between her cheating and his investigations. OH COME ON! This all started by him looking over a conversation on her facebook page that she left open on her computer. Yeah, a minor invasion of her privacy. Most people that live together will come across info meant for the other person and give it a curious once over. Everything after that he does with good reason. She is hiding her clothes purchases when she used to talk about them. He sees additional econversations that indicate she is going to the reunion but she is lying to him. He has good reason for his actions. And you know what. Even if he didn't all his transgressions add up to about 1/1000th of her betrayal. Having Mark agonize over his "guilt' is just stupid. His jerking off in the closet is certainly embarrassing but he doesn't owe her any knowledge or explanation about that. Given what SHE has done that could be his "little secret". <br><br>

All in all the writing was good. I think you need more patience to work through all the nuances of the story. The other stuff is being honest about human behavior. If a wife cheats on her husband he is going to be angry (normal human behavior). You have to deal with that anger somehow. You could develop a husband character with enormous tolerance so he doesn't get angry. Or you could develop a husband that takes his revenge and balances the books somehow. Or you could develop a husband who gets off on seeing his wife with other men. Or you could develop a typical husband who kicks her out. But you can't just ignore it or dismiss it. It needs to be resolved.

Most obviously, she said she had a lot to tell him that would hurt him.... none of that came out. He confessed and she didn't. WTF

I thought this was a good first effort. I agree with the other comments on the rushed ending with too little angst. But I hope you keep at it and I will look forward to reading your work. Thanks, Tim

that was already sick and left in the open. but this, this is just completly off the guard. he will be always second choice to what ever idol she had, so what's your better point here.

Way to go you made Markthe ultimate cuck hold. Why not give Mark some back bone and have him at least give Kele a swift kick in the balls while he's fucking the whore wife. Better yet Mark should have cut Kyle's balls off and the mead him watch as he made his slutty whoring wife chew them up and swallow them

So he kicks her out for being a cheating bitch and just takes her back telling he gets off on it suddenly. That's pretty fucked up.

Another male bashing bitch writer. Just what this site really doesn't need.

Loved this story and got a bonus/boner...got to read the original story. In general, great tension, well plotted, intelligent dialogue and a pleasant and economic style. My only peca dildo, I wish the author let both characters sink deeper into despair, so that the ending would have been that much more dramatic. Thank you Robinhood.

vanity fuck !! pathetic crap

castrate Kyle. as a minimum cripple him and destroy his marriage. also cripple her.

Damn. Another decent effort at writing about human emotions and situations lessened by non thinkers. Well plotted. I would have like a bit more character development. As some said could use more dealing with his reactions to the act of infidelity. Ended too abruptly.

As for the immature 11 and unders out there who think that a caress on the wrong ass deserves an ass whipping and dipping in the wrong canal death. Grow up and learn about what humans are really like. I would like my chances at you I admit.

If you think (you think?) this is well plotted, you have a fucked up definition of non-thinkers.

Would he always have to spy on her, just to make sure she wasn't having another vanity affair?

If she came home late from work. What would go through his mind? Would he have to check her pussy to see if she has had sex with someone, and wonder if she had sex and her male lover wore a condom?

It would be a nightmare for him for the rest of his life.

CRAP CRAP AND MORE CRAP

wannabe cucks deride a well written story as catharsis for closet cuckdom. every anon bashing a story like this dreams of slurping creampies but hates themselves, much like closet gays hate themselves for dreaming of smoking cock.

The ending ruined the story; no reasonably intelligent male would have reacted this way...and she is a long way from being trustworthy.

poor cuckold!

He does not even have the courage to tell his wife that he liked what the slut did.

He deserve a faithful wife a cunt cunt always dry.

It started off good but soon degenerated into a future cuck tale. You wrote two more chapters. Will you fix this???

A fitting turn from the original, but lacking the emotional depth that one would expect from such a tragedy.

He's more worried about his own self humiliation than he is about anything else.

Wimps do not deserve to be married... period. They only deserve to be beating their puds 10 years after the wife dumps them for a relationship with someone better suited for marriage. Wimps will usually be found beating their puds to those 10 year old memories.

Why would her lover's DNA be on her clothes? On the sheets maybe. Why does he go from upset and angry to understanding and forgiving in the blink of an eye? Why would he think he could throw her out? It's her house too. Any attempt at physically throwing her out results in jail time for him. And lover boy walks away scott-free. Too many holes in this story to make for a good read.

So there's not much of a man to work with if a continuation is to be consistent with the original. Him working on growing a pair will be a necessary part of the story.

Why would he go first? Makes no sense. Wouldn't he want to see if she was telling the full truth?

the best that could be done starting with the original pile of steaming how horse manure?

What kind of ass hides in the closet and jerks.off while some asshole fucks.his wife? Then he's all manly, making the cheating bitch leave the house. WTF?

Sorry but him jerking off and then finding his manhood is big leap to ask us to take since his behavior was so diametrically opposed at those points. Just unbelievable.

I would just delete these. Utter shite.

Can't see mc going from hiding in closet to throwing her out normal men do't enjoy seeingtheir wife cheat