All Comments on 'Our Shared Bathroom Ch. 07'

This was a beautiful story bartok, I truly enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to create such an exquisite work of fiction.

This was awesome a true mix of feelings, emotions, and love. You captured this a perfect way! Way awesome! Keep writing more for us readers :D

What the hell was this? I waited to see Jen and Mark get married (illegally), and all I get is this shit? What the fuck is up?

But really? The ending, they get married to other people? You kinda lost me at chapter 4 but this one has me scratching my head in confusion...story was good, just took a right turn on the wrong street...

I was expecting a happy ending with both of them living together as lovers for the rest of their lives. I thought that you might be able to pull it off nicely. At least give the siblings a good ending in a fantasy story. Why does it have to be like a real life scenario? This ending was the one I was most afraid of. For me, I will think that the series just ended at Ch.06.

This was an amazing story, no matter what other people say. Great build-up, wrap-up, and everything in between. One of the best incest series I've read.

This was not the ending I was looking for, I was hoping Mark and Jen would end up figuring out some way of staying together, I feel robbed of the time I invested to read the entire series.

This was utterly disappointing. I placed a good deal of time in this, and this weak ending is what finishes an otherwise-great story? That's just sad.

I get the whole attempt at trying to fit it into a "what if this story really happened" ending. But it just feels wrong. This ending mocks their love to each other and throws them into a life of unfair longing to each other while they are trapped in marriage with people who they do not truly love as much as they do each other. It is a cruel fate, and as such a tragic ending. These marriages will not last and it will all end ugly (if this was a real story).

The relationships with Michelle and James are not described in any detail at all in the story, essentially being a copout by the writer avoiding the explanation as to how this ending actually came to be. I'd probably be more able to accept it if the relationships with the siblings' respective spouses was actually written about in detail. As it stands this ending makes no sense, and in fact could never really happen in real life. It left a knot in my stomach, it just doesn't add up.

In logical terms its like saying 1+1=11. Your calculations must have gone wrong somewhere...

I started to read this chapter and could not get past the first few paragraphs. It was too disappointing and could not finish it.

What an amazing story. The characters were described in immense detail, and I could understand what was going on the entire time. The end of every chapter made me excited about the next. this last chapter was a great accent to the rest of the story. Beautifully written. However, I agree with a previous comment that more should have gone in to explaining about how it ended up with them marrying other people. But you wrote it in a way that doesn't neccesarily make in important to the story itself. All in all: amazing story. 9.5/10

I have read this story with interest from beginning and I can't even begin to express my disappointment. You wrote the charactors so well that they became real in my minds eye. I wish I had not read this chapter. You could have left the 6th as the ending and I believe most of the readers would have thought that was a better ending to this very well written story. Instead you killed the story for me in the first sentence of this chapter. I don't know if you intend on continuing this story, but for me it is soiled thier is no way to recover from this chapter.

I liked it until the parents came in to it.. And I was a little weirded out about how fast she wanted anal...... Honestly I only read it to the end in hopes that you would fix it but no.... This is one of the worst stories I have read on here....

by far the best story i have ever read brought me pleasure time and time again... Absolutely wonderful thank you

I loved this story right up to the first sentence in chapter 7. If you want to see how to end a story successfully, read "Colleen" buy Texas Refuge; especially chapter 3. Nuff said.

Chapter 7 was a major problem for me. You should have ended the story with chapter 6. Chapter 7 ruined it all for me.

I also think you should have kept the parents in the dark.

You are obviously a talented writer, but the plot points need to be right.

Loved everything up to this chapter. Ruined the enfire storh for me. Please re-write it.

Great ending. She grew up, so did he. They commented on this earlier in the story-good foreshadowing!

Not to mention(though I am) they will connect up and continue for ever. Or maybe the author has this with the child as the end or beginning.

Bartok_Star, I must agree with others that Chapter 07 was a letdown after the high of Chapters 01 through 06. But that was such an amazing high that you can be forgiven.

I've read enough stories in this genre to know that you told it in a way that made it seem real. I am sure that other writers write good stories, too, but this one was exceptional.

CHAPETER 7 IS THE WORST LET DOWN I HAVE EVER READ. YOU FUCK UP SOOO BAD.

The ending couldn't have been better. It was true to the feelings and realities you brought into your characters lives. Thank you.

overall i did like the story, however i didnt like the ending. i feel as though they should have ended up together in the end. i think that the relationships with michelle and james should have been developed more. i also feel as though there should have been maybe another chapter in which they get to be together for the rest of their lives. it seems unfair and almost cruel that it didnt end this way. otherwise id say it was a perfect story. well done!!!

Who in the fuck wanted a ending like this what a crock of shit please delete this chapter it fucks up the whole story big time ....damn i cant even believe after such a passion and build up this is how it went ....SHIT.

Well I didn't catch wood with this chapter, but after having wood for the first 6 (setting aside the parents thing) It was nice. Still, I would have preferred the two to have lived happily ever after together. ...that being said though, the final chapter is still more in line with the basic realism of the main story (again, setting aside the parents 'watching' bit) and it can't always turn out the way we want if we like congruity. :) All in all nicely done and forgive the asshat posts :>

Great Story, can't wait to read your other work.

Thanks!

I was shocked by the ending. But I still enjoyed the story, thank you for writing it.

What an interesting story so far + potential development of the future network of realistic solving of these persons' lives and relationships within a strongly based and expanding family network. Keep going.

"'Mark,' Jen said. "Think it's going to be a while before we can do this again?' she asked, panting.

I grunted. 'Yeah, probably."

She gasped again. 'Do you want to do me in the ass?'

She felt my rhythm falter and grinned back at me.

'I sure do.' I said, bending over to kiss her again.

'I thought you would. Go ahead. I don't let Mark do it. It's just for you, hunny.' She said."

She doesn't let Mark do it but it is just for him? haha

Thanks for the ride. From 1-7 I have enjoyed this adventure...with a hard on.

Sorry to see it end..Maybe there's more? If not I will look forward to your future writings.

i loved all the chapters. the one when they finaly mad love nice. i didnt want it to end. it was beautiful and emotional. awsome job.

Loved your story and the build up but the ending was kind of disapointing. Woild have rather the brother and sister end up together after how they expressed there love for each other but i suppose you wanted them to end up with normal lives but still have that love toeard each other?

Chapters 4 (previously 3), parts of 6, and 7 didn't really fit into the story imo. Completely out of the blue with no hints of the parents being progressive and open now they are completely happy to watch their children fuck each other( for the parents pleasure). In todays society this is like the ultimate nightmare for average parents which up until this point you have no reason to believe they aren't.

The break up in Ch. 6 is completely fucking stupid. Break ups don't have a place in a story which is only a few pages long, that goes in stories books long. Way too complex a thing for a short erotic story; and it shows, making this part of the chapter feel like an cheap add-on that only detracts from the story. Completely unnecessarily making a big deal about and rejecting "real sex" when they've already fucked like bf/gf.

Then Ch. 7: the whole make-up I love you now, let's be wife and husband gets thrown the fuck out. The people they each respectively hated being with in the last chapter, they got married to. No where do they go, "Hey lets marry some people we don't like to cover up our love" (and they tried it before and it didn't work at all). And they've just turned twenty who have no pressure placed on them by society to get married, or even be in a long-term relationship. Their parents (from the above mentioned chapter )seem like they would want them to do other things and not do any stupid shit getting married( to someone else, especially knowing brother and sister are in love with each other). It seems like you've just tacked on an extra fantasy which shouldn't be in this story (read: make a story about fucking preggo's).

Why is the bathroom like any other shared bathroom: in the hallway? I've heard of adjoined rooms and the bathroom is kinda central to the plot but is there really bathrooms like this?

And since when did america start using centimeters?

I Read them all and i just got mire and more annoyes si sad to Turn à good story into a rubish one . Sad bro

Your brother sister stories have moved me. Not having a sister, it makes me long for what I may have missed. I can't imagine anything more erotic than fucking a pregnant sister in the cunt and in the ass.

This would make an outstanding novella. The affection and friendship and later romantic love depicted between them is so heartwarming, that the incest ick factor may well become more palatable to more conservative palates. I agree with the others that chapter 4 ( formerly chapter3) is totally unwarranted, and just lessens the polish the story may have had. Also chapter 3 (anal) was too early in the game, or even unnecessary. The parents objecting to their relationship, societal pressures etc would have made an excellent source of conflict and would have justified their "breakup" in chapter 6, then a happy ever after ending in chapter 7 where they ended up together as husband and wife, against all odds, with Jen being pregnant with their child, would have nicely rounded up the story. Still I enjoyed reading it. Excellent. 4.5 stars

Loved the story and the love shared by these wonderful siblings. I read it quite a while ago and loved it then--a better ending I think. But the new ending was a real let down. It sort of felt like a long romantic cruise to the South Seas but not being allowed off the ship when they finally reached port. I am an unapologetic romantic and I love happy endings. The baby should have been his and they belong happily together. But I love your characters and the obvious love they have for each other. Hopefully you aren't though with them yet.

Well. Chapter seven shows why maybe this author stopped writing. He terribly underestimated what most people want in the stories written here. He certainly blew this one. I'm going to try the next story, but, if it goes the way this one did, he'll just get more criticism. If that was what he was hoping for.

It definitely ended for me on chapter 6. I mean, their love is reduced to him having an affair with her. Dafuq.

When I read this I feel like I'm reading a MILF story. The end for this awesome story of love and passionate sex should end at chapter 6.

Although the general plot is good, the order sucks. They fooled around, a chapter later they hadnt done anything. Then they fuck, then they hadnt, then he screws around with his mother. What kind of chronological order is this? Is more I wrote the story, then had an idea and interjected with no order.

You need to give up writing altogether.

Enjoyed it up to the last chapter where it started that they married someone else. A bad and miserable ending. Hard to believe it went that way. Thought they were going to stay together and raise their own family what a let down.

You have a remarkable talent.

I have never been as pissed off as I was when I read this chapter. I mean it does say a lot about you as an author, being a really good one. It also shocked the living shit out of me, even now years afterwards it still pisses me off when I see the title.

I wish you gave us 2 endings. Actually I expected there to only be one, every single thing in the story lead to them having a happy ending in the form of still being together.

Sadly I think even the author himself rushed it, because it could have been handled very delicately and with a lot of thought the author could have made it believable.

Even if I might be wrong, and he wanted this ending, there is no explanation and everything seems rushed. Almost as if we are dealing with a completely different writer.

I have a feeling this wouldve been one of the greats on lit, if it wasn't for the ending.

This story is 10-11 years old, yet still a high-scoring series, as far as I'm concerned it's one of the greats here, and the author's up there with PacoFear, Xarth, and Texas Refugee when it comes to telling a sweet, hot, enduring, and memorable story. More from him would be a bonus, what we have now is pure gold in every sense, and we should remember and appreciate that more, and more often.

Ok, I know this is an old story and it doesn't look like the author is still active of the Lit site.

But....

Siblings Mark and Jen apparently in love with each other throughout the preceding chapters.

End of chapter 6, last sentence

'And my kiss good morning grew into another passionate blessing of the new day and our new love.' .... Mark and Jen

Beginning chapter 7 two years have passed

'Jen and I even shared a dance together, laughing together as whispered some of our memories of the unbelievable things we did together three years prior. We were both happy now, she with James and I with Michelle'

Who the hell are James and Michelle? What happened to Mark and Jen's relationship such that they found other loves.

Way to go, to cop out on finishing a good story properly.....

I do not understand the finish. Obviously both of them were in love when they lived together and even in the end of the story. When she told her brother she would not let her husband use her anus, that was only for him. You screwed up royally. I gave you a five but after thinking about what I had written, it was not worth a five, More like a three.

Really?! Jen's pregnancy should've been by Mark, period. James and Michelle should have been broken up with after Jen and Mark fully consummated their relationship.

Why did they split up? Why wld they have married other people when they were in love. I hate how it ended. I was expecting so much more. But other than me not getting the ending I selfishly wanted it was overall good.

Dreadful ending.

Rapier875

it would have beenn better to end it with the last chapter especially with what you said about them loving each other, then you just ripped them apart, and to make it worse, they are fine and happy with it. Come on for real.

This story was a huge disappointment,to have both Brother and Sister end up marrying other people,only to reconnect and end up cheating on their Spouses.As for Jen to come right out and become a Common Anal Whore just shows how scum-sucking pathetic she is,she basically is trailer park trash that deserves to rot in hell.

This story is pure-and-utter garbage.

No matter what these other two idiots think its a GOOD STORY. Keep it up. I thought that the baby would turn out to be the brothers. and that she was going to tell him when he was done fucking her ass. thank you.

The story was alright until chapter 5. The half chapter and then 6 and 7 really tanked it from 3.5/5 to a hard 0 for me, though. It's a shame, because like I said, this was close to a good story. Oh well.

Hated the ending, I like my brothers and sisters to get together in the end. Not impossible at all despite what all these tortured authors think.

Score 1/5 for wrecking a good story

the title says it all. Honestly, author, you're a fucking idiot. I bet this story is about how you allowed yourself to get cucked by being a little bitch when your sister came to you and asked you to be the man she expected you to be.

Funny how so many meaning they are entitled to an ending fitting them. In my opinion is that obviously a decision made by the author. The story is what it is then, but soo many of the negative reactions are just narrow minded and a bit funny, especially considering it's fiction, and, about incest..

Wish the author all the best, and IF you read this and other comments, please do it with a smile and the confidence that you truly make us, feel.. :)

Was a good story up until chapter 6 and 7. The siblings should of been together and had a kid together. How do u end up declaring your love for one another and then marry some one else. The story started out good and then it just broke down. There was no flow between chapters and it felt like a different story per chapter.

NO TRY 1/5 STARS

Wow, they married James and Michelle, that kind of ruined the entire series :/ After last chapter I really thought they were just going to be together with each other.

I like to say you did very well in this story it was wonderful to read and read over and over I am not great writer but love to read i was hurt at work and they have me in office with nothing to do for 9 hours a day and your give me something to pass time it been truly.

Good job. You even got me pissed at him when he baught at doing her when she wanted him, then he gave in. Well done. Good grammar and editing. Keep writing.

XYZ

I loved this whole series except for the one chapter with his mom where she didn't say it was her.....and this one. How could they go back to others when they were in so in love. It's sad. Every other part of this was hot and sweet and good.

I love this story...and all of the readers that are making negative comments really should have moved on if they did not care for it.

This is the AUTHOR'S story, not the readers...make nice compliments, or at least constructive ones...or MOVE ON!D

**5** STARS, WOULD LIKE TO GIVE MORE!D

NOW...CHAPTER 8...

I'm pretty sad Jen and Mark didn't end up together, that was what the entire conflict in the previous chapter was about

Mark cheating on Michelle and Jen cheating on James. So uncool. If they mutually decided to marry other people instead of each other, then they should have resumed a normal brother/sister relationship without the sex and been faithful to their spouses. 1/5

I'm glad that this train wreck is finished.

Good thing I checked out the delayed ending chapter before investing in reading this series. I hate cheaters in a marriage. Dump the spouse if you've found a new lover. This is brother and sister doubly cheating. I'll never understand the obsession with rectal intercourse in the incest category particularly. Some of the already squicky sex details actually seemed anatomically impossible in the stated positions with a heavily pregnant woman of all things. The lactation bit was silly and seemed thrown in like spaghetti noodles on a pizza. More kinks in one scene are not usually improving an already unbelievable scenario. 2/5 in being generous.

What's with all of this grunting. Is he a pig? He grunted this and grunted that. Grunted hello, instead of I said hello. I Liked most of the series, but not with MOM. That part wasn't believable for me and then the last part of this chapter I didn't care for.

OMG! I was a little disappointed that they ended up marrying other people that being said the sex scene while she was pregnant was hot as fuck!

Personally, I would love to see more of the story! Sibling incest is my biggest kink! Though I am not a fan of them cheating on their spouses with each other. I might be weird in saying this but if I had a sister that I was in a sexual relationship with I think I would be OK in theory with somebody I’m in a relationship with doing the same their sibling.

Great, great story!