All Comments on 'Our Shared Bathroom Ch. 07'

Great, great story!

OMG! I was a little disappointed that they ended up marrying other people that being said the sex scene while she was pregnant was hot as fuck!

Personally, I would love to see more of the story! Sibling incest is my biggest kink! Though I am not a fan of them cheating on their spouses with each other. I might be weird in saying this but if I had a sister that I was in a sexual relationship with I think I would be OK in theory with somebody I’m in a relationship with doing the same their sibling.

What's with all of this grunting. Is he a pig? He grunted this and grunted that. Grunted hello, instead of I said hello. I Liked most of the series, but not with MOM. That part wasn't believable for me and then the last part of this chapter I didn't care for.

Good thing I checked out the delayed ending chapter before investing in reading this series. I hate cheaters in a marriage. Dump the spouse if you've found a new lover. This is brother and sister doubly cheating. I'll never understand the obsession with rectal intercourse in the incest category particularly. Some of the already squicky sex details actually seemed anatomically impossible in the stated positions with a heavily pregnant woman of all things. The lactation bit was silly and seemed thrown in like spaghetti noodles on a pizza. More kinks in one scene are not usually improving an already unbelievable scenario. 2/5 in being generous.

Mark cheating on Michelle and Jen cheating on James. So uncool. If they mutually decided to marry other people instead of each other, then they should have resumed a normal brother/sister relationship without the sex and been faithful to their spouses. 1/5

I'm glad that this train wreck is finished.

I'm pretty sad Jen and Mark didn't end up together, that was what the entire conflict in the previous chapter was about

I love this story...and all of the readers that are making negative comments really should have moved on if they did not care for it.

This is the AUTHOR'S story, not the readers...make nice compliments, or at least constructive ones...or MOVE ON!D

**5** STARS, WOULD LIKE TO GIVE MORE!D

NOW...CHAPTER 8...

I loved this whole series except for the one chapter with his mom where she didn't say it was her.....and this one. How could they go back to others when they were in so in love. It's sad. Every other part of this was hot and sweet and good.

Good job. You even got me pissed at him when he baught at doing her when she wanted him, then he gave in. Well done. Good grammar and editing. Keep writing.

XYZ

I like to say you did very well in this story it was wonderful to read and read over and over I am not great writer but love to read i was hurt at work and they have me in office with nothing to do for 9 hours a day and your give me something to pass time it been truly.

Wow, they married James and Michelle, that kind of ruined the entire series :/ After last chapter I really thought they were just going to be together with each other.

Was a good story up until chapter 6 and 7. The siblings should of been together and had a kid together. How do u end up declaring your love for one another and then marry some one else. The story started out good and then it just broke down. There was no flow between chapters and it felt like a different story per chapter.

NO TRY 1/5 STARS

Funny how so many meaning they are entitled to an ending fitting them. In my opinion is that obviously a decision made by the author. The story is what it is then, but soo many of the negative reactions are just narrow minded and a bit funny, especially considering it's fiction, and, about incest..

Wish the author all the best, and IF you read this and other comments, please do it with a smile and the confidence that you truly make us, feel.. :)

the title says it all. Honestly, author, you're a fucking idiot. I bet this story is about how you allowed yourself to get cucked by being a little bitch when your sister came to you and asked you to be the man she expected you to be.

Hated the ending, I like my brothers and sisters to get together in the end. Not impossible at all despite what all these tortured authors think.

Score 1/5 for wrecking a good story

The story was alright until chapter 5. The half chapter and then 6 and 7 really tanked it from 3.5/5 to a hard 0 for me, though. It's a shame, because like I said, this was close to a good story. Oh well.

No matter what these other two idiots think its a GOOD STORY. Keep it up. I thought that the baby would turn out to be the brothers. and that she was going to tell him when he was done fucking her ass. thank you.

This story was a huge disappointment,to have both Brother and Sister end up marrying other people,only to reconnect and end up cheating on their Spouses.As for Jen to come right out and become a Common Anal Whore just shows how scum-sucking pathetic she is,she basically is trailer park trash that deserves to rot in hell.

This story is pure-and-utter garbage.

it would have beenn better to end it with the last chapter especially with what you said about them loving each other, then you just ripped them apart, and to make it worse, they are fine and happy with it. Come on for real.

Dreadful ending.

Rapier875

Why did they split up? Why wld they have married other people when they were in love. I hate how it ended. I was expecting so much more. But other than me not getting the ending I selfishly wanted it was overall good.

Really?! Jen's pregnancy should've been by Mark, period. James and Michelle should have been broken up with after Jen and Mark fully consummated their relationship.

I do not understand the finish. Obviously both of them were in love when they lived together and even in the end of the story. When she told her brother she would not let her husband use her anus, that was only for him. You screwed up royally. I gave you a five but after thinking about what I had written, it was not worth a five, More like a three.

Ok, I know this is an old story and it doesn't look like the author is still active of the Lit site.

But....

Siblings Mark and Jen apparently in love with each other throughout the preceding chapters.

End of chapter 6, last sentence

'And my kiss good morning grew into another passionate blessing of the new day and our new love.' .... Mark and Jen

Beginning chapter 7 two years have passed

'Jen and I even shared a dance together, laughing together as whispered some of our memories of the unbelievable things we did together three years prior. We were both happy now, she with James and I with Michelle'

Who the hell are James and Michelle? What happened to Mark and Jen's relationship such that they found other loves.

Way to go, to cop out on finishing a good story properly.....

This story is 10-11 years old, yet still a high-scoring series, as far as I'm concerned it's one of the greats here, and the author's up there with PacoFear, Xarth, and Texas Refugee when it comes to telling a sweet, hot, enduring, and memorable story. More from him would be a bonus, what we have now is pure gold in every sense, and we should remember and appreciate that more, and more often.

I have never been as pissed off as I was when I read this chapter. I mean it does say a lot about you as an author, being a really good one. It also shocked the living shit out of me, even now years afterwards it still pisses me off when I see the title.

I wish you gave us 2 endings. Actually I expected there to only be one, every single thing in the story lead to them having a happy ending in the form of still being together.

Sadly I think even the author himself rushed it, because it could have been handled very delicately and with a lot of thought the author could have made it believable.

Even if I might be wrong, and he wanted this ending, there is no explanation and everything seems rushed. Almost as if we are dealing with a completely different writer.

I have a feeling this wouldve been one of the greats on lit, if it wasn't for the ending.

You have a remarkable talent.

Enjoyed it up to the last chapter where it started that they married someone else. A bad and miserable ending. Hard to believe it went that way. Thought they were going to stay together and raise their own family what a let down.

Although the general plot is good, the order sucks. They fooled around, a chapter later they hadnt done anything. Then they fuck, then they hadnt, then he screws around with his mother. What kind of chronological order is this? Is more I wrote the story, then had an idea and interjected with no order.

You need to give up writing altogether.

When I read this I feel like I'm reading a MILF story. The end for this awesome story of love and passionate sex should end at chapter 6.

It definitely ended for me on chapter 6. I mean, their love is reduced to him having an affair with her. Dafuq.

Well. Chapter seven shows why maybe this author stopped writing. He terribly underestimated what most people want in the stories written here. He certainly blew this one. I'm going to try the next story, but, if it goes the way this one did, he'll just get more criticism. If that was what he was hoping for.

Loved the story and the love shared by these wonderful siblings. I read it quite a while ago and loved it then--a better ending I think. But the new ending was a real let down. It sort of felt like a long romantic cruise to the South Seas but not being allowed off the ship when they finally reached port. I am an unapologetic romantic and I love happy endings. The baby should have been his and they belong happily together. But I love your characters and the obvious love they have for each other. Hopefully you aren't though with them yet.

This would make an outstanding novella. The affection and friendship and later romantic love depicted between them is so heartwarming, that the incest ick factor may well become more palatable to more conservative palates. I agree with the others that chapter 4 ( formerly chapter3) is totally unwarranted, and just lessens the polish the story may have had. Also chapter 3 (anal) was too early in the game, or even unnecessary. The parents objecting to their relationship, societal pressures etc would have made an excellent source of conflict and would have justified their "breakup" in chapter 6, then a happy ever after ending in chapter 7 where they ended up together as husband and wife, against all odds, with Jen being pregnant with their child, would have nicely rounded up the story. Still I enjoyed reading it. Excellent. 4.5 stars

Your brother sister stories have moved me. Not having a sister, it makes me long for what I may have missed. I can't imagine anything more erotic than fucking a pregnant sister in the cunt and in the ass.

I Read them all and i just got mire and more annoyes si sad to Turn à good story into a rubish one . Sad bro

Chapters 4 (previously 3), parts of 6, and 7 didn't really fit into the story imo. Completely out of the blue with no hints of the parents being progressive and open now they are completely happy to watch their children fuck each other( for the parents pleasure). In todays society this is like the ultimate nightmare for average parents which up until this point you have no reason to believe they aren't.

The break up in Ch. 6 is completely fucking stupid. Break ups don't have a place in a story which is only a few pages long, that goes in stories books long. Way too complex a thing for a short erotic story; and it shows, making this part of the chapter feel like an cheap add-on that only detracts from the story. Completely unnecessarily making a big deal about and rejecting "real sex" when they've already fucked like bf/gf.

Then Ch. 7: the whole make-up I love you now, let's be wife and husband gets thrown the fuck out. The people they each respectively hated being with in the last chapter, they got married to. No where do they go, "Hey lets marry some people we don't like to cover up our love" (and they tried it before and it didn't work at all). And they've just turned twenty who have no pressure placed on them by society to get married, or even be in a long-term relationship. Their parents (from the above mentioned chapter )seem like they would want them to do other things and not do any stupid shit getting married( to someone else, especially knowing brother and sister are in love with each other). It seems like you've just tacked on an extra fantasy which shouldn't be in this story (read: make a story about fucking preggo's).

Why is the bathroom like any other shared bathroom: in the hallway? I've heard of adjoined rooms and the bathroom is kinda central to the plot but is there really bathrooms like this?

And since when did america start using centimeters?

Loved your story and the build up but the ending was kind of disapointing. Woild have rather the brother and sister end up together after how they expressed there love for each other but i suppose you wanted them to end up with normal lives but still have that love toeard each other?

i loved all the chapters. the one when they finaly mad love nice. i didnt want it to end. it was beautiful and emotional. awsome job.

Thanks for the ride. From 1-7 I have enjoyed this adventure...with a hard on.

Sorry to see it end..Maybe there's more? If not I will look forward to your future writings.

"'Mark,' Jen said. "Think it's going to be a while before we can do this again?' she asked, panting.

I grunted. 'Yeah, probably."

She gasped again. 'Do you want to do me in the ass?'

She felt my rhythm falter and grinned back at me.

'I sure do.' I said, bending over to kiss her again.

'I thought you would. Go ahead. I don't let Mark do it. It's just for you, hunny.' She said."

She doesn't let Mark do it but it is just for him? haha

What an interesting story so far + potential development of the future network of realistic solving of these persons' lives and relationships within a strongly based and expanding family network. Keep going.

I was shocked by the ending. But I still enjoyed the story, thank you for writing it.

Great Story, can't wait to read your other work.

Thanks!

Well I didn't catch wood with this chapter, but after having wood for the first 6 (setting aside the parents thing) It was nice. Still, I would have preferred the two to have lived happily ever after together. ...that being said though, the final chapter is still more in line with the basic realism of the main story (again, setting aside the parents 'watching' bit) and it can't always turn out the way we want if we like congruity. :) All in all nicely done and forgive the asshat posts :>

Who in the fuck wanted a ending like this what a crock of shit please delete this chapter it fucks up the whole story big time ....damn i cant even believe after such a passion and build up this is how it went ....SHIT.

overall i did like the story, however i didnt like the ending. i feel as though they should have ended up together in the end. i think that the relationships with michelle and james should have been developed more. i also feel as though there should have been maybe another chapter in which they get to be together for the rest of their lives. it seems unfair and almost cruel that it didnt end this way. otherwise id say it was a perfect story. well done!!!

The ending couldn't have been better. It was true to the feelings and realities you brought into your characters lives. Thank you.

CHAPETER 7 IS THE WORST LET DOWN I HAVE EVER READ. YOU FUCK UP SOOO BAD.

Bartok_Star, I must agree with others that Chapter 07 was a letdown after the high of Chapters 01 through 06. But that was such an amazing high that you can be forgiven.

I've read enough stories in this genre to know that you told it in a way that made it seem real. I am sure that other writers write good stories, too, but this one was exceptional.

Great ending. She grew up, so did he. They commented on this earlier in the story-good foreshadowing!

Not to mention(though I am) they will connect up and continue for ever. Or maybe the author has this with the child as the end or beginning.

Loved everything up to this chapter. Ruined the enfire storh for me. Please re-write it.

Chapter 7 was a major problem for me. You should have ended the story with chapter 6. Chapter 7 ruined it all for me.

I also think you should have kept the parents in the dark.

You are obviously a talented writer, but the plot points need to be right.

I loved this story right up to the first sentence in chapter 7. If you want to see how to end a story successfully, read "Colleen" buy Texas Refuge; especially chapter 3. Nuff said.

by far the best story i have ever read brought me pleasure time and time again... Absolutely wonderful thank you

I liked it until the parents came in to it.. And I was a little weirded out about how fast she wanted anal...... Honestly I only read it to the end in hopes that you would fix it but no.... This is one of the worst stories I have read on here....

I have read this story with interest from beginning and I can't even begin to express my disappointment. You wrote the charactors so well that they became real in my minds eye. I wish I had not read this chapter. You could have left the 6th as the ending and I believe most of the readers would have thought that was a better ending to this very well written story. Instead you killed the story for me in the first sentence of this chapter. I don't know if you intend on continuing this story, but for me it is soiled thier is no way to recover from this chapter.

What an amazing story. The characters were described in immense detail, and I could understand what was going on the entire time. The end of every chapter made me excited about the next. this last chapter was a great accent to the rest of the story. Beautifully written. However, I agree with a previous comment that more should have gone in to explaining about how it ended up with them marrying other people. But you wrote it in a way that doesn't neccesarily make in important to the story itself. All in all: amazing story. 9.5/10

I started to read this chapter and could not get past the first few paragraphs. It was too disappointing and could not finish it.

I get the whole attempt at trying to fit it into a "what if this story really happened" ending. But it just feels wrong. This ending mocks their love to each other and throws them into a life of unfair longing to each other while they are trapped in marriage with people who they do not truly love as much as they do each other. It is a cruel fate, and as such a tragic ending. These marriages will not last and it will all end ugly (if this was a real story).

The relationships with Michelle and James are not described in any detail at all in the story, essentially being a copout by the writer avoiding the explanation as to how this ending actually came to be. I'd probably be more able to accept it if the relationships with the siblings' respective spouses was actually written about in detail. As it stands this ending makes no sense, and in fact could never really happen in real life. It left a knot in my stomach, it just doesn't add up.

In logical terms its like saying 1+1=11. Your calculations must have gone wrong somewhere...

This was utterly disappointing. I placed a good deal of time in this, and this weak ending is what finishes an otherwise-great story? That's just sad.

This was not the ending I was looking for, I was hoping Mark and Jen would end up figuring out some way of staying together, I feel robbed of the time I invested to read the entire series.

This was an amazing story, no matter what other people say. Great build-up, wrap-up, and everything in between. One of the best incest series I've read.

I was expecting a happy ending with both of them living together as lovers for the rest of their lives. I thought that you might be able to pull it off nicely. At least give the siblings a good ending in a fantasy story. Why does it have to be like a real life scenario? This ending was the one I was most afraid of. For me, I will think that the series just ended at Ch.06.

But really? The ending, they get married to other people? You kinda lost me at chapter 4 but this one has me scratching my head in confusion...story was good, just took a right turn on the wrong street...

What the hell was this? I waited to see Jen and Mark get married (illegally), and all I get is this shit? What the fuck is up?

This was awesome a true mix of feelings, emotions, and love. You captured this a perfect way! Way awesome! Keep writing more for us readers :D

This was a beautiful story bartok, I truly enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to create such an exquisite work of fiction.

beautiful story - except the ending - they should have married

Good job. I think they both knew they couldn't really keep it going. They gave themselves one final night, but at the end? I'm just not into preggo erotica.

I have to laugh at all the comments.

To me, this ending seems more realistic. How many siblings have some incestuous experimentation, then move on to healthy relations with other people? I'd guess most.

The realities of an extended committed incestuous relationship are extremely difficult. You basically have to start all over again somewhere else because your whole network of friends and family are gone. That's a tough row to hoe. And if there is any friction in that relationship, who do you talk to about it?

Bartok, I hope you come back and finish your other series. Don't let the haters get you down. Instead of enjoying the story and expanding their horizons, they're trying to force the authors to fulfill their fanasies.

To all the haters; You don't like it? Write a better one. Go on, I dare ya.

Damn good series very well done

If you read the discription then you would realize it said he VISITS pregnant sister

That was fucking amazing

Very enjoyable congrats

What is the matter with all of you?

you could not handle a change up?

get your feelings hurt because it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to?

didn't see it comming did you?

To the author:

You did just fine!

ED

NOW THAT YOU WRECKED A GREAT STORY INSTEAD OF A SKY FULL OF STARS I WILL ONLY GIVE YOU MAYBE 3 STARS,,,,NOW IF YOU LEFT MICHELLE AND JAMES OUT OF THE PICTURE IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT STORY JUST THINK ABOUT FOR A MINITE AS TO WHAT YOU HAVE DONE,,YOU KILL A GREAT ENDING AND I HAVE BEEN READING PAGES AFTER PAGES OF STORYS AND YOU DISTROYED A BROTHER/SISTER STORY,,,,,,,,THANKS ALOT..............

CODE...........................................................................''R''...................................

Like many other readers, I was led to believe that they were going to get married. And from what I got from the description, I thought it was their baby. Although this chapter doesn't fit among the others, your writing is still some of the best I've seen on this site. I usually don't care about the characters when I go on this site, but you created them in such a way that I actually believe in them. If you could do most of us a favor by providing us the Disney-styled ending, that would be great.

It must be a dream! It cannot be really happening, after they have become "one", that they would go in separate ways. No sense!

You had one of the best, if not THE best, bro/sis story going. Fix the ending. Make it flow, just to the complete setup that you built in 6-1/2 chapters, before the FINAL ending.

Arise!

have have her something happen so they are back to gether mark has to come get her from her abusive husband she stays with them fall back to gether her preg with his child this time and they get to geter f good

I followed the entire story, loved all the emotion that was built up, and at the end of Ch. 6, was satisfied. But the first paragraph of this story brought tears to my eyes. It seemed like such a shame. This feels like it went from a story of true, passionate love to another gimmicky preggo-incest story.

Well done on a great storyline, but the ending to this series was disheartening.

U shud hav posted either the sixth 1 or the seventh 1..... Both dont mesh together with the story... anyways itz ur story... so i cant really comment on it....

I really like the back and forth tease and pull back that leads to sex that is just incredible and new to both.However,chapter 6 tends toward them figuring out how to make it work,to being married to other people.It might have made for a more plausible ending if there had been a transitional chapter 6&1/2.Besides,two people so in love their souls are intertwined,dont run off and marry someone else.One last question,is her baby his ?

It WAS a good story. The writer should have posted chapter six or chapter seven, but not both. Had s/he done that it would still be a good story.

Then there is the character who was applauding a sad story. I doubt there are many happy people spending their time reading online erotica. I suspect that many of us are looking for something to be happy about even if it is only from someone else's imagination. Oh, then there are the S&M people, they're only happy when someone or several someones are being abused.

-- srgeek --

Biggest load of rubbish I have ever read dont write any more

That's change was so sudden and with no explanation. Chapter 6 ended with them acknowledgine each other's love and wanted to be together then suddenly they are married to someone else with no explanation and then they started their adultery without any respect to their spouse.

I thought you want to write realistic stories and I dont think this is it. It's such a shame as you have some really really amazing chapters. The story as a whole was uneven and unbalance. Such a shame, it could have been one of the master piece.

I can honestly say I'm satisfied with the ending of this story. You played it out quite well 1-6, then finished with a realists' flair at the end. Bravo

Ok I will say yes 1-6 are great, wonderful, and beautifully well written. The 7th though, well it was not what we where expecting. It was how ever an ending that was well written for the characters of the story. Yes, it was sad, disappointing, and not what we are use to in these stories but it was still yes sad for them because they do love each other so, but are now not able to be, they are on separate paths of life with the memories of one and another. In the end they had each other, but got what they wanted in they end of the begging and know that they will always have each other in their harts. Well done and I applause you. Please don't stop writing.

this story was going so well and then it jumped the shark the rating it got was cause of the series not the content of this story. this one needs to fill in some gaps for people to be able to know what happened to change her mind cause she wanted to be with him as husband and wife they did that next thing you know they are both married to the people they were dating and not thinking of when they got together

I seriously want to cry because of the damage done to this story. Please write it over . It beautiful up until 7 so please do it again and everyone will love it

I loved it all. Up until this last chapter. You just messed it up completely

I can't believe the same man who wrote chapters 1-6 so nicely could fuck this stories up with such a horrible ending. I'm genuinely pissed. This is my first ever comment on this website because this made me so mad. Jen and mark should have married. You are a screw-up...

Just go on with it. Now that you've got new spouses in the picture, get them involved in the sex games along with Mom and Dad.

You ruined the story with ch. 7 Mark and jen should have ended up together. you should redo ch.7 otherwise it was a good story until ch.7

you ruined it all jen should marry mark ..... not the james or whatever his name is ......that would be better

I was thinking when I started reading 7 that maybe the two of them did have spouses, but it didn't stop them from having affairs. Or they might have met someone to share even if it didn't lead to bi-sexual play (thought that would be hard to believe too). Either way, like many I love ch 1-6, didn't hate 7, but it just didn't fit the story I had been reading. Consider writing more. Don't just let reactions to 7 change your style.

all you proved with this chapter is that they never loved or cared for each other they just used each other. typical of the low class of writers here this series should have been in the nonerotic area because it sure killed all feelings of love

Your series was very good, but this chapter doesn't belong. From what he said in Chapter 6, I had hope for him and his sister to make their relationship work and happy ending, but this doesn't fit. Seems to much like a different story, especially after their love and gut-wrenching pain when they were apart, and now they decide to be apart forever? Great series, but you should redo the ending, and it seems a majority here would agree.

Plzzzzzz rite more chapters I wanna read a ch.8 even a 9 continue please it the best

Your series was very good, but this chapter doesn't belong. From what he said in Chapter 6, I had hope for him and his sister to make their relationship work and happy ending, but this doesn't fit. Seems to much like a different story, especially after their love and gut-wrenching pain when they were apart, and now they decide to be apart forever? Great series, but you should redo the ending, and it seems a majority here would agree.