All Comments on 'Out of Love Ch. 04 - Alt Ending'

Rip-off artist.

No. Just...no. There is a reason Jezzaz didn't get back to you.

Excuse the fuck out of me?

I hav NO EMAIL from you asking anything.

I would like this taken down ASAP.

Yeah, I would have liked a different ending than the one Jezzaz gave us, but this one nothing short of juvenile.

This is crap.

gruesome but still better than the original!

Loved it.

why make the effort to give another joke of an ending

I'm puzzled. This is new today, but swear I've read this before.

STUPID

What a piece of s***. Do as Jezzaz requests and take this abomination down.

Hey Lujon2019 , JPB has about 350 unfinished beauties sitting there that need this same treatment ! lol .

gave you a 5 just for the chutzpah alone !

Well that was lame. I didn't really agree with the finishing epilog of Jezzaz, but this is a bad taste joke compared to the original. As he requested you should take this down

Ha Ha Ha ! It's crazy but much better than the original. I like it. Now end it!

Even better # 3: they take you with them and make your body disappear too!

jezzaz is a very good author. I didn't buy his conclusion for that story either but that's his business.

He does come up with some very intriguing plot devices and has talent or skill to go with them.

I didn't read this after realizing what it was and what a crude attempt.

You should probably work out your frustrations on authors who aren't here anymore. Maybe you could get away with it then.

Why so mad, bro? It's a better ending than the one you wrote.

This was shit. You think a jury will excuse his actions? You think adultery justifies murder?

You’re the kind of guy who would kill his children to spite his (ex) wife.

Better ending the original by a long shot (pun intended).

Shut up jizzass

Yeah, Jezzaz sucks the big one, and the Ingrams shit is garbage, but this is worse and it's a straight up rip-off. Go fuck yourself, Lujon.

Really?!

Yeah, I would have liked a different ending than the one Jezzaz gave us, but this one nothing short of juvenile.

THIS

This was a horrible version of an ending. True that it wasn't much worse than the original, I think this one needs to be deleted and the other be changed to show and follow the true character of J.

Good for you Jezzaz!

Out of love definitely needed an alternate ending. The husband agreeing to swapping was stupid. But I think the killing of the "friends" was also out of character. His response should have been somewhere in between. The friends definitely deserved some payback.

Jezzaz 5 hours denied giving permission nor did he receive a request from this author to post a different ending. If fact demanded they remove this pirated story ending.

As a matter of truth also this ending is juvenile crap and demeans the good story presented by Jezzaz.

I rather liked this. Jezzaz, don't be a little bitch.

Didnt make the ending better. Only thing we got to see here is that he is a psychopath, great. But overall I also think that the original ending was pretty bad. I cant see how Dr.Ingram helped him. She betrayed him even worse than the others in my opinion. Would have sued the shit out of her, since she was paid to inflict mental harm to him.

While cathartic, was too stupid. At least it got me to read the original first. I had missed the story. I had issues with the very last paragraph or so with that story but this was too far out of character. Even with J angry he had been manipulated for months. Killing Mark and Jim outright was just wrong. 1 star.

Still not an ending, but marginally better than the original. In a genre where you really have to work the suspension of disbelief muscle, this story was just to much.

Much to say here. First, gave this a 3. It wasn't awful, but it was incomplete. Leaving the Chloe situation open invalidates the whole premise of an alternative version of the conclusion that jezzaz wrote. I wasn't all that crazy about how jezzaz ending the saga, and actually prefer J killing Jim and Mark, but again, ending just a that is a miss.

Now, on to the real problem. See the comment by jezzaz. Apparently jezzaz did not get the email that lujon2019 presumably sent. That's neither here nor there. But note that lujon2019 wrote that he waited "almost two weeks" and then went ahead and posted this. Two weeks? Really? What if jezzaz was on vacation (it is summer). Or just hadn't checked his Literotica email? Maybe he checks it once every couple of months? I'm sorry, but if you're asking for permission, from a fellow part-time writer, you should really wait at least six months, and send several requests, before concluding that no response will be coming. Remember that one of the criteria FTDS had was that in cases of a non-response, the original story had to be at least 5 years old. OK, yes, "Out Of Love" dates from 2013. But it is related to the "Ingrams & Associates" series, which had postings as recently as September 2020. Given all that, despite a worthy, albeit incomplete, effort, lujon2019 should honor the request made by jezzaz and take this down.

The author of the original stories did a very good job writing...I however have to say your ending was better than his original. Thank you for writing it.

Original author claims you didn't send any email requesting the right to work on their story. If they didn't agree and are obviously still active as the comment below shows, then this story should be removed immediately.

An ending that is hanging.

Nice job lujon2019.

Kindly finish it please.

Glad to have read this and given it the 1* it so richly deserves before it gets deleted (also richly deserved).

Stop writing, please - and that includes your comments.

Bit better than original...

But for a text so short, you should have been proofreading it more: "Ingrahm"

Take a bad story and actually make it worse. That's an interesting 'talent' you have there.

RAAC fanbois who are crying that this version is crap, unrealistic blah blah blah should remember that the original version was utterly unrealistic too. It's JUST A STORY, cucky bois you need to calm the fuck down.

You waited two whole weeks for a response? Did you write and ask again? You just fucked the pooch.

It shows an example of why some of us find the BTB subgroup a bit of a trial.

No respect for other people? Total lack of empathy? These are considered virtues?

Get help.

And, I'm surprised this got through whatever moderation exists - I'd have thought that the powers that be would check with the original author.

Green-something

I enjoyed Jezzaz story very much right up until the very end. I wanted some retribution for Mark and Jim, but a severe beating would have been enough as they did feel remorse. This might be another story where you pushed the envelope a little too far. You need to make it right with jezzaz now.

non ending crap bullshit I can go on if you wish

Wow, OK 1st thank you for introducing me to the original. It was a bit obvious what was going on in that, my big concern was how much Chloe knew... Sadly she was in on it. Like you then going on to bring others into their relationship didn't sit right with me either...

But this?

There's a reason he didn't get back... he didn't get your mail, if he had and you had included this, he would have still been laughing.

I wrote an author once asking if I could do an alternate ending, it's the only time I've been moved to. They didn't get back and I didn't publish.

I never liked the original ending. Thanks

Way better than Spazzaz's. You didnt end it though. Rewrite it and give it a proper ending. Oh and I see Spazzaz a few comments down crying. Fuck you cunt thats what ya get for writing a shitty ending.

Not bad and better than the original but I imagine the end was to let the readers draw their own conclusion

Different but not anything that’s that much better than the original. Still a worthy effort 4 stars.

Seriously as bad as the original ending.

Theres literally nothing right with this and no one should ever rewrite an ending designed to massage the alpha males who are the living embodiment of Tim Allens grunting ape man routine.

So its back up - jezzaz found my email asking, and gave permission retroactively, said they were more pissed about the apparent lie than the story.

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I offered to pull their comment here, they gave permission for that, but honestly I cant figure out how to access comments to delete them

This one wasn't my cup of tea but in a bizarre way it seemed to make a little more sense. The original pulled such a 180 at the very end that it made the entire character development of Jace a fiction of a fiction.

Personally I think the author might have been trying to show Jaces journey into "swinger acceptance" but unfortunately failed miserably. This ending is extreme, but with so many lies and manipulation it sorta more believable.

The original had an ending that was the usual, implausible, LW cuck-out by the husband. It was an unmotivated U Turn by the MC at the very last moment....just total bullshit to consummate a RAAC because I think the author didn't have the courage to write a realistic ending. If we take the build up of the story and the "Ingram" character seriously, this is a plausible ending and far more consistent with the MC's character development. The destruction of Ingram, the drug felonies, etc. make it likely that Ingram would cave. On the other hand, a temporary insanity or PTSD defense would probably work well under the circumstances. The main weakness of this ending is that in the usual putrid LW display of misplaced "chivalry" the MC lets the 3 sluts live. There's no reason at all to do that under the circumstances. In fact, it complicates matters by leaving three witnesses that would probably result in Option One eventually. Even Ingram wouldn't want the wives alive, under the circumstances. So, all five bodies should disappear, and he gets a divorce and al the assets based on abandonment. Ingram gets to live because she is useful. The MC protects himself from Ingram by creating a record of events that would be made public if anything happens to him. So, it would have been better if he had shot all five and the final conversation was just with Ingram. I'm sure that this version offends the legions of cucks and the feminized men on LW, but this is an outstanding alternative to the original and is underscored.

This ending is logical, unlike the original which was just plain stupid. More realistically, he would have filed for divorce using a divorce attorney. Then, he would probably use a separate attorney who specializes in highly complex, high payout civil cases to contact his former friends, wife, and Ingram to notify them of a pending civil case. That would allow thise six people to make settlement offers. In amongst that would be restraining orders preventing Ingram, et al, from contacting him directly. The divorce and civil case would probably last six months to a year, ending in a divorce and multiple settlements. Once finished, he wouldn't be rich, unless Ingram paid out big in return for a non-disclosure agreement. However, he would have a nice little nest egg. Based on the personality of the main character, and his traumatic experiences, he would most likely remain unmarried, but eventually meet a woman whom he would live with for the rest of their lives.

That's how it would most realistically play out. Like I said, yours is logical, just highly unlikely. But it is a vast improvement over jezazz' nonsense.

Cuck shit. One star for lying and not using the cuck tag.

got anything original, or are all your good ideas someone else's?

Extreme, certainly more satisfying than a sudden attack of milksop.

I find it absolutely amazing, like with progressives and conservatives, that people get so polarized on these stories. As an author, one that BTW, had more views, higher ratings and ten fold the comments in the first 24 hours of posting just one story, than most authors have on all their stories combined, it's infuriating to see a fellow author post some shit like, "Cucks get one star". Author's should be pointing out things about style, grammar, plot. Not that i need it, but still. My books sell very well, thank you. The thing is, most of those commenters don't even KNOW what a CUCK is. They don't use the term correctly. They seem to call any man who doesn't exact so sort of extreme revenge on the spouse a cuck. Wrong bozos!

I just read all four from this author, skimmed actually, because of the numerous mistakes and punctuation errors. Like all the 'cuck callers' it seems they are totally removed from reality. If your a Rambo kind of guy, living in your fantasy world, then just simply follow BTB authors. For me it's much simpler. I suspect my wife's cheating, i stick a recorder in that bottomless pit of a purse until i have evidence. I tell her she wants alimony or anything else, then i send copies of the tape to her family and friends. We go online, fill out our own divorce papers to save money, and she gets TF out. Then I go shack up with whomever i want, married or not. All you need is a pair of ears, cause most husbands disregard or never listen to then. no need for enormous equipment downstairs, just ears and a smile.

1*

What ARE you doing?

Thank you , it was over the top, but it was almost exactly what I was thinking after reading the original.

Much better ending

cookingwithgas6 said Author's should be pointing out things about style, grammar, plot

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In my opinion authors should NOT be lying to their audience with misleading tags to sucker them into reading cuck shit they dont want to read

Good one!

@CookingWithGas, your comment below reeks of narcissistic, self congratulatory hubris. Are you really such a perserverative mental masturbator to your own bullshit as you seem in that post? Not at all appealing. If that degree of self worship is a requirement to becoming an "accomplished author," it is Too High a Price (kudos to The Troubador).

The original Out of Love story could use an (good) alternate ending. This...isn't it.

This goes against the character, the story and it doesn't even attempt to mesh with the original ending.

Killing someone for cheating? Absolutely ridiculous. This is an anonymous BTB lover commenter's wet dream.

The original story J makes a quick, silent exit. why? Why not have J beat the piss out of Jim. Go up stairs and de-horn Mark and then tell the wife to Fuck Off and not come home. Move his shit out of the couples rental. Then divorce the wife. Why doesn't the wife fess up to her intentions and just admit her losses like an adult. Probably because she is dissatisfied with Jace as a husband and just wanted something strange. Him, in the original taking her back and his active participant in their games only strengthens the axiom

"Him, in the original taking her back and his active participant in their games only strengthens the axiom"

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So by taking her back and being a swinging cuck in the original it strengthens the axiom displayed by his abandonment of her in the first chapter? You sure you know what axiom means?

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ax·i·om

/ˈaksēəm/

noun

a statement or proposition which is regarded as being established, accepted, or self-evidently true.

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Water is wet is an axiom

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Dude abandons cheating wife only to months later become a cuck and swinger is NOT an axiom

Not sure why this score is low, maybe because of the violence but I enjoyed it

Laughable attempt.

It was revenge, but he stopped shooting too soon.

Excellent!!!

Finish it.