All Comments on 'Out of My League Ch. 01'

Wow. I am blown away by your skill as a writer! Perfect word execution, I didn't spot a single glitch. Kept things moving nicely. I absolutely hate the time-worn big black cock theme but endured it because your writing made me forget the improbability of it all. The onliest constructive criticism I have is that you run your paragraphs WAY too long. Break them up into 3 or 4 paragraphs and it is a much easier read. I made you a favorite, hoping you will keep 'em coming.

Can’t leave it that way

I hope, this is going in the right direction, but I'm afraid it will not.

Sad

.....

She cuckolds him

I dont mind this genre of story but the ending with how she ended up sleeping with mike was very unbelieveable and didnt flow well with the rest of the story or the arc that you set out for the main character.

@Odiouser- Thanks! I really appreciate your kind words. I feel your pain about the big black cock trope. It's as old as the hills and racist to boot. In this case however the character is based on someone I knew in real life, years ago. He was black, a hermit and hung, so...Yeah, I could have changed him up a bit beyond giving him a different name, but I knew the cliche, tired as it is, would be effective here. The idea being that he'd be the last guy you'd expect to score her.

Please don't write a next chapter.

Why pull her out? She just cheated and the marriage is over. Makes no sense.

When the GF went to the "friend" and stopped caring about the cuckold, he should have left. Since he stayed and showed that he respected himself as much as the two did, the story died. I mean, there's no angst. The woman has chosen her man. It's the cuck's fault for not taking a hint and moving on to a better woman.

This one, is not worth it. Nor the friend. By putting up with all of it, neither is the cuck.

So, author, IDK where you are going. Most authors cater to the cucks and wannabes that love to be pushed around and losing "their" woman and the commercial market if filled with stories like that. Gosh, I have spent so much money in promising-looking stories only to find they are all the same. So, you can definitely follow that route. This despite, in my opinion, you don't have likeable characters to carry the story.

I wish to see authors in this genre that write long and good plots to go on a different route. The husbands/BFs never seem to escape the stigma of being the lesser man. This when the woman is shared by her lovers they are not perceived as weaklings and cuckqueaning being a thing where the wife is not perceived as a lesser woman.

Sorry for the long post. I am not rating this one, btw.

H. I can see how things get out of hand.

It was a romantic love story until BAM … interracial cuckolding! Haha. I’ll read part 2, if you write it. I’m genuinely wondering where this is going. It will be amusing if she sneaks off to the shack to fuck the old dude again.

Will you finish story stay together or leave her STay love her

I liked the story as far as it went. Where's the aftermath. How did they reconcile it?

This cries out for a sequel. Great writing, just flows along, even Mike's seduction was believable given how your foreshadowed it with her curiousity on what it would be like having him on top of her.

Nice buildup then the curve ball at end, very good and I found plausible. I think some of your readers forgot she was fucked up, potent alcohol and pot can produce a different high, more than just A + B. Maybe if she was more incoherent, only occasionally making sense it'd help with that point. I would be curious for a part 2, where were you thinking of taking it. A thoughtful examination of overcoming that oopsie somehow and continuing their relationship possibly, or they try to continue on as they have, but the all the messy feels about what happened leads to breakup, or the more typical porn, where she tries keep the relationship going with Mike as a new side piece

FTDS. Dump her.

But I'm betting if the writer finishes this it will be a RAAC.