Out West Ch. 04: Martha's Rules

[Editor's note. Martha's journal continues, and my grateful thanks to SerradaC for her transcriptions. Where there are gaps, I continue the narrative. It's interesting to note how two people can see the same thing quite differently.]

My bottom was aching (again). It was early evening, and folk were beginning to doze off. I didn't want to encounter that boy's eyes again too soon, and knew I would if I dozed, so, leaving my two companions, I went for a walk. When I wandered back about half an hour later, I saw that Kate was nodding off, and Pixie was out cold.

As her head drooped, I saw at least one, and possibly two coyotes take the sniff. I knew their sort, jackals making their livin' takin' what wasn't theirs from folk as couldn't defend themselves; so I made my own move.

I carefully made my way back up to the front of the car where them lovelies was dead to the world, the red mop of hair now bouncing around like the breasts she was no longer trying to hide from me.

One of the two was a particularly ugly brute - he had been on the wrong end of a shovel a time or two by the look of his face. He was about to pick a pocket or two, as well as feel where he oughtn't to be feelin'. He gave me a nasty stare until I flashed the last gift my Jacob gave me before riding away in 1861. I gave him a glance at the equalizer hidden in my skirts, the very one I had used to kill more men than this ass had fingers.

At first, he thought I was all bluster, then he looked in my eyes, he must have seen the look, same as what I had seen in the eyes of that boy - the haunted look, the look of a killer. I glared right at him.

"You best be minding your own business and leave them women alone... you hear?"

I whispered, loud enough for all. He just nodded and set himself back to thinking on his own business.

A big colored man stood up in the back, leaving his women folk alone for a moment, bringing me my bag, which I'd left in my haste, grunting little as he did.

"You best be looking after this Ma'am."

He gave me a broad handsome smile, which I returned. To his shock and the rest of the passengers, I thanked him and took his hand, I pressed four bits in, more than he would make in a day.

"Thank ya kindly. Now you best be gettin' on back to your family now."

"Ya' very welcome Ma'am."

He did return to his seat, showing the coins I had given him to his woman, then hushing the children. I suspected it had taken most of what they had to buy the tickets, and meals would be few. They would eat tonight - if someone would serve them.

I sat down with my oversized and overstuffed satchel next to Kate and Pixie. They didn't know yet how close they'd come. I felt all maternal and protective. They'd been good to me. I'd make sure they was okay.

"Tenderfeet!" I whispered, to the grins of the other passengers.

Even Mister Shovel-Face grinned. Maybe he was not bad, just thinking he could grab a feel without having to pay for once in a few years. Kate was definitely not trying hard to cover her charms, and her boobs were trying to work their way loose and bounce all over the coach, when I finally threw my shawl over her to cover the floor show, much to the chagrin of the boys in the audience.

"Now, now, boys, there's plenty of that for sale in St Louis by honest whores, and you all know nary-one of these is one of those." I smiled back.

"Yes'm but they ain't more careful they's will be." Came a deep rumbling reply from one of the men near the back, perhaps the very one who had carried the satchel up to me. All but my new friends snickered at the truth of it.

"Well ya'll don't have to worry none, I will keep track of um." Smiling back sweetly as I checked my watch and my bag again for the thousandth time.

"More's the pity," Shovel-Face grinned back," I would pay my last penny to see if her bottom matches her top."

His grin was broad now, he might have even been handsome once, probably the war. I had seen men come back missing noses, ears, even a jaw, how they survived I will never know, and didn't want to.

"Well, I guess you will just have to go on wanting, and savin' your pennies." I responded, and the rest laughed out loud, with more than a few foot stomps, which woke Kate.

Blurry eyed, she seemed to realize where she was and what she was doing as she wiped some drool from her lips while looking up at me. Something clicked in her pretty head and she came up quick.

"Oh dear, I am terribly sorry Martha." She said, trying to fix her hat which had moved along with the mound of hair on her head.

"No harm done, dear, but it ain't safe sleeping on a train lest you have a Pullman Sleeper ticket, a stout lock, and a good argument,"

I showed her my revolver strapped to my thigh. She jumped back from my persuader as if she was snake bit, which also brought a chorus of laughter. Her shock at the pistol caused me to add my own comment.

"Now honey, it is just a woman's thigh, it ain't gonna hurt ya none."

That brought more laughter, and bright pink to the girl's cheeks. She started to stammer, and I realized I might've gone a mite too far.

"Don't worry sweetie, I ain't a threat to you."

I realized she wasn't afrighted, so that look in her eyes might've been somethin' else. 'Calm down, Martha!' I said to myself; was just I was missin' my Emma - and them teats were somethin' else.

I put my arm around her, while keeping her assets hidden. With all the commotion they had almost made their escape from what looked like a tiny little corset. I could not see much, but a woman can tell when boobs is loose.

"Honey you best keep this over you or you're going to embarrass yourself."

She seemed not to object when I touched those boobs as I covered them. Hell I was feelin' a mite horny myself, just a lookin' at them. She was a comely lass.

I whispered into her ear, "you are with friends if you are with me, I will take good care of you." Which seemed to calm her down, just as Pixie, in her lap, finally started to rejoin the living.

"Well missy, you should be awaken up as we are coming into a station in a few miles and you will want to stretch your legs and take a piss as there ain't no other stops for a while."

Bless her. She blushed. I watched as the girl tried to make sense of her surroundings, the others watched as well, but most eyes were on Kate who now had my shawl wrapped as tightly around her as she could make. She snuggled into me for a moment or two, which didn't help my horniness.

St Louis provided us with a good chance to refresh, and we ate a decent meal in the city at a place Emma and I frequented on occasion; they even remembered me.

One last short train ride through to Jeff City and we'd soon be at Marion and I'd be back with Emma. I told my new companions, Kate and Pixie I'd miss 'em, and the former, having heard about the coyote's sniffing about them, thanked me.

I was kind of regretting parting with them. I hoped they'd make it, but hell, they was grown ups, so would have to. Still, I was none too pleased.

About that time, I felt the movement of the train shift; the tempo and the sway of the carriage changed, I knew we were pulling into the station, which was little more than a wide spot for the river road to cross, some benches and a loading dock for goods and animals.

"When we stop, you two git your things and come with me, I have to see to my own, then make sure my mule and wagon are waiting, but then I will see to you both getting some water and back on the train." I fixed Pixie with a stare, "Do you understand me sweetie?"

"Yes Martha, I always do as Nanny says."

That pronouncement brought yet another round of hoops and hollers which I put a stop to with a single look. It might have been nearly two decades since I was a school teacher but I will tell you, I still have a look to put boys in their place and the racket stopped right quick I will tell you. I really ought to have told the little 'un that in these parts "Nanny" is a euphemism for whore.

"There that be enough of that. Not another peep out of any of you ― do you hear?"

My voice had an edge to it. The response was a general 'yes ma'am' and then silence. Something in me wanted to protect "my girls" as I had come to think of them. They were innocents abroad, and me, well, I knew a thing or two, and kind of felt they were under my protection.

Then came the Conductor with bad news, at least for my companions. He told us that the train would be stuck in Marion for a couple days. Apparently, there was some sort of concern about the trestle, which was no news to me. The mighty Missouri was at flood and there was lord knows what kind of debris flowing down river, and rivers don't like things in their way so they tend to make their displeasure known to all. If you were not careful you will find yourself swimming and that ain't any fun.

There was general grumbling and complaining, but most would find beds in Marion, I made a decision.

"You two stay with me ya' hear?" again, silence from my girls, but nodding heads. Kate was smiling as though she was the cat who'd got the cream.

"Will we need to bunk up together, Martha?"

I swear that girl was asking for it. Well, I'd never said to Emma we was exclusive. I knew she wanted kiddos, and that'd require a man. Didn't see why I couldn't have the occasional dalliance. Red-headed Kate seemed willing, and I was sure ready.

I smiled at her and winked.

"Good, now we are almost stopped. You both gather up your things, let everyone else leave then we will get off." Both did as I told them and we waited, finally the rest were off the train, we descended the stairs me last, careful to ensure nothing was left.

I knew this Conductor, he was the one who'd got on at St Louis. I approached him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Simon you make sure you send word to my place when you are ready to go, you hear me?"

Simon Brewster knew me well for my yearly trips and an occasional excursion between Emma and I to the capital for a little fun. He also knew about Emma and I and I knew about him and the Jacobson lad as well; we have an understanding you might say.

"Yes, Miss Martha, I will be sure you are told, and whomever you take in. I would be much obliged."

Simon looked around, I knew what he was thinking, most would have no trouble but some would. I looked around and made my decision.

I finally saw that fool boy with Henry and the buckboard, late as usual, no quarter for him.

"You coloreds, you put your things on the buckboard, you can stay in the old bunk house, no one livin' there now anyway." I put my bag down in the front, it made a thunk when it settled.

Simon brought out my crates and other parcels as well.

"You young'uns can ride, the rest will have to walk, you two will ride as well. Too tender for a five mile walk I wager." I gestured to Kate and Pixie

.

"I am perfectly capable of walking." Pixie added, with only a slight stomp.

I shrugged my shoulders, as I sat on the wagon pulling off my silly city shoes and put on my knee-high leather boots.

"Don't make no nevermind to me dear, but there are all kinds of ankle biters here, cotton mouth, copper head, couple different rattle snakes, but it is all up to you, I am sure those pretty stockings will do the trick for you." I did not get my second boot on before she and her 'nanny' were seated in the exact center of the buckboard. I snickered to myself.

"You think it be alright if'n my wife get up there too?" The big buck asked me, his little wife looked like a miniature woman next to him, but I figured I did too. "She with child and I am worried..."

"Of course," I said, a little worried that that fool boy had not got Henry some water.

"Fetch a bucket of water, not too full now, and bring it. Henry will need drink, and some for her too..." Pointing to his wife. I watched as he ran back to Simon and asked for the water, I saw him gesture to me as he offered Simon one of the quarters I had given him, clearly Simon saw my eyebrows raise and he did not take it. He did go into the train and come back with two forgotten canteens and a clearly empty bucket and watched him fill all of them from the clean drinking tank.

"What's your man's name girl?" I asked the woman now sitting between Pixie and Kate with the young'uns scattered around them. I had noticed that Pixie had insisted that the pregnant woman sit in the safest spot. I was right to think she was a good 'un.

"Benjamin ma'am, he be Benjamin." Looking back as the side of beef thanked Simon and returned with his treasures.

"He is a good man,..." I looked at her.

"Mary, ma'am I is Mary." She smiled both in pride and love as she watched his return.

"He is a good man, Mary, you keep him happy but most of all, close."

I turned back to the road, as Benjamin returned. "Let Henry drink for a minute, not too much now, then we will be off home."

I looked toward the horizon and thought of Jacob.

[And there, Martha's Journal abruptly ends, so I will take up my pen to fill the gaps.]

If I'm honest, I was almost relieved to be told the train would not be going further for a few days. I was tired. How one could be tired from sitting on a train is a mystery only revealed to those who have spent three days on one. I knew America was big, but there was a difference between being told and experiencing; both were forms of knowing, but the latter was the more effective.

I was also glad Martha took charge of us.

I'd liked her from the moment I'd seen her. That she tended to call me "little one" amused me, and when, even after Kate showed her proof of my age, it changed nothing, I put it down to the fact that as she was six foot and I was four, ten, I was "little" to her. Height was fine, if it had been an age thing, I'd have told Kate we needed to move. But since I'd also noticed the way she looked at Kate's breasts as they bounced in the mini-corset, I suspected that like Mrs Grace back in New York, she liked women. I didn't even feel jealous. I felt something, some emotion to which I could not attach a word; but it made me tingle between my thighs.

Martha made me feel safe. It was not just the way she dealt with the "Coyote" as she called the predatory man, it was her very presence.  I liked America, but it had begun to scare me, as big things did (well not big breasts, obviously). The limitations and restrictions of old England may have been frustrating, but they were safe. The freedoms and liberty of America may have been liberating, but they were scary. If I clung to Kate for security, I found myself liking Martha's presence for that reason.

Kate agreed that Martha was a suitable travelling companion. Not only did she know the West, it was like she knew we were lovers, and approved.

Just before we stocked up at St Louis, Kate had asked me:

"Do ya see the way she's looking at my titties?"

"What, like she'd like to dive in and get lost there?"

"Oh Pixie!" Kate said, laughing at me.

"Don'y ya object to her wanting your Kate? What'd ya do if I wanted her?"

From the way Kate spoke, I knew, of a sudden, that this was no idle question.

"As long as you did not abandon me, I'd not mind, Kate. I love you, I don't own you."

Kate looked a mite surprised, but not displeased..

"Well you're a deep one, to be sure, Pixie. So, you saying that if I wanted to service her, you'd not mind as long as you were still my number one girl?"

I told her that I guessed I was.

The whole thing was, of course, not without its irony.  I was paying Mary Catherine to be my maid, she'd already graduated to be my governess and then my lover, and now what? Would I pay her to be with another woman?

"If that's what you want my love."

Was it, I found myself wondering?

[Martha's Journal takes up the story from here, with some of my own reflections added].

It were getting' late when we got back to the house. Poor Emma had been expecting me much earlier in the day and not the pack of mouths that I brung with me.

She was happy to see me but stopped short when she saw Kate and Pixie, let alone the whole parcel of young'uns and their Ma and Pa who were with me.

Emma stood like she had no idea what to do with her hands, wipin' them on her apron as she was. I knew exactly what I wanted from them hands, and I walked right in, picked her up and kissed that woman right square on the mouth in front of God and everyone.

"Sweet Jesus I am glad to be home!"

And I kissed her again as she fought and slapped and finally wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back. Which brought a cheer from the young'uns that their momma a pappy hushed right quick.

"Put me down you brute!"

Emma finally got out around my lips.

I did but only 'cause I wanted to look at her better than just up close at her hair.

I realized I had introductions to make and although I would rather of just looked at her bright red cheeks, I knew I needed to make up.

"Emma, I want you to meet some folks I rescued from the clutches of civilization."

Turning to the closest which just happened to be Kate.

"This here be Mary Catherine, but we call her Kate, and this be her Lady Cynthia somethin' or another, we just call her Pixie. Now that there be Benjamin and his wife Mary..."

That's when it occurred to me that with all the commotion I had not even bothered to ask them their family name. Most coloreds had taken the name of their previous owner, which seemed mighty peculiar to me, but that was their business. Others had taken famous names like Presidents, other had taken colors like white, brown or black.

"We ain't rightly picked one ma'am we will let you know when we do." Mary stepped forward and saved me from my embarrassment.

"You do that you hear."

Emma did what Emma does, and hugged each one in turn.

"Oh, there I go again, in case you had not guessed, this passel of young'uns is Ben and Mary's, I don't know their names, 'cause I can't keep them straight - too many and I am getting old. Besides at the rate they are going, we will have another dozen to remember this time next year anyhow!"

Which brought hoots of laughter from the children and a belly laugh from Benjamin, with a stern look from Emma and Kate, Mary and even Pixie.

"It don't work like that Miss Martha" Responded the young girl, "It takes best part of a year for one!" As she held up two fingers.

Kneeling down I said, "You're right darling, I must have forgot." All was forgiven when I reached out for a hug.

I sent the boy home with a quarter anyway, being a soft-touch I guess.

The chatter broke out immediately as the group walked toward the house, Kate, Pixie and Emma settled into the house while I took Ben and Mary around back to the bunkhouse.

It was not as nice as the main house but it was better than most around these parts, we lived in it for better part of three years while the big house was built. It had wood floors, thick walls with glass windows that opened for a good cross breeze, it had a nice open room with a large fireplace at one end the kitchen on the other with a decent stove and even a hot water tank on the back. Jacob always bought the best. Space would be a premium since we didn't make the place for a herd of children but there was enough room for beds on the floor and a decent sized hideaway against the opposite wall whose mattress rolled up and stowed away.

"You letting us stay here Miss Martha?"

Mary sounded shocked; I suppose from her experience she would be.

"Yes, you got to many kids for the main house, we ain't got but three bedrooms and one is Emma's sewing room..."

"No we don't mean that ma'am we just thought..." Ben trailed off.

"You just thought I was going to stick you in the barn?" My fists were on my hips now, "I know things ain't right in a lot of places, but animals live in barns, and people live in houses, Benjamin, and women with babies comin' sleep in beds. Now get your stuff moved in, it may be days before they get that train right."