Outback

"I'm a woman, Mark. I pack for any and all occasions."

Slipping into the passenger seat of my ute, she quickly learned what the outback truly looked like, glancing at her every so often to watch her reaction. Blue sky as far as the eye could see. Nothing but farmland. The heat wasn't too high being the time of year, but the sun still shone brightly. At least I could have the windows down.

Pulling into the driveway, Kelly gasped at the size of the homestead, chuckling away as I explained that going from that to the edge of the northern boundary would take hours. Cathy, Ely and Bill appeared through the front door after I tooted the horn, Cathy hugging her tightly before introductions were made.

Kelly was family within five minutes. Far as Bill was concerned, he had adopted another daughter.

Kelly loved the time on the farm for the week. She could spend a few hours working on her laptop but she joined Cathy, Bill and I outside every day. She had a little experience riding horses, so we did head out one afternoon to ride, showing her the thousands of sheep we had, the cattle even further away as they grazed, being fattened up. Cathy organised a dinner in Longreach on the Friday night to meet some of our friends, Ely and Bill leaping at the chance to babysit. They offered nearly every weekend so Cathy and I could enjoy at least one night of peace.

Cathy must have organised as my sister was introduced to one of her friends who I knew was single, fellow named Jim. I knew him well and he was a top bloke. They were hitting it off within half an hour, and by the end of the night, my sister was absolutely smitten. I gave my wife a glance as the pair were busy talking as we were getting ready to go. "You organised that," I whispered.

"She's said she wants to move closer," she whispered back, "I figured I'd give her another reason apart from her handsome brother."

Jim then kissed my sister, and the look on her face once they broke apart suggested my sister was going to be a regular visitor from now on. Or, she would be until she chose to move closer. After bidding her farewell on the Sunday as she flew back to Sydney via Brisbane, I stopped back at the RSL, running into Jim. He was awkward to begin with.

"So... your sister, Mark..."

"What about her?" I asked, keeping my tone flat. I was going to have fun with him.

"She's single, yeah?"

"She wouldn't have kissed you otherwise, Jim." I met his eyes. "You have ideas about dating my sister, Jim?"

He looked even more awkward, more than one of the guys having a chuckle. "Well... yeah... she's cute..."

"You think my sister is cute, Jim?"

He met my eyes and grinned. "Yeah, Mark. Never met a girl like her before."

"She give you her number?" He slapped his forehead, which caused even more laughter. I sighed. "Give me your phone then. Jesus wept, have you not tried to organise a date with a girl before?" He almost dropped it when taking it from his pocket. Inputting her number, I handed it back. "Jim, you break her heart, I'll bury you on our farm."

"Yeah, Mark. Of course. Yeah..."

He hurried outside, definitely trying to call her straight away. I looked around the room before we all burst into laughter. He walked back inside half an hour, that sort of smile on his face that suggested a promise of something more.

*****

Eight years later...

Mark

I glanced at my watch. "Kids, if you think I'm going to leave without you just because you're dawdling, you've learned very quickly I will just carry you to the ute if need be."

Michelle was the first to appear at the top of the stairs, walking down the stairs, looking as adorable as she did every single day. A younger version of her mother in many respects. Ricky was next, two years younger than his sister, his school bag enormous on his back. Matthew was last, taking his time as usual. Ten years old and already causing mischief. I knew why. He preferred to stay on the farm and watch Dad hard at work, dreams of being a cowboy. Cathy appeared with our three-year-old, Samantha. Only our youngest remained at home, though she'd be sent to pre-school in a year or so.

We wouldn't have any more kids. After our fourth, I had the old snip, snip. My wife insisted I was far too potent so made sure I was tested every six months. "You just look at me sometimes and I'm left wondering if I'll get pregnant again," she joked more than once.

Buckled in tightly, I drove them to the same primary school as they were all in different year groups. Kelly was there to greet me as always with her two kids. She'd moved to Longreach six months after meeting Jim. She was pregnant within six months, married within another three months. It was a whirlwind romance, but she'd fallen in love, Jim as devoted to her as I was to my wife. Kelly loved the life of the outback, loved her husband even more, pleased she could do most of her work online. Once a month, she flew to Brisbane for meetings, but other than that, she remained close to the family. Our family. Those back in Sydney? She'd cut contact entirely.

A last meeting with the family had been on my behalf, one final attempt as to finding out where my daughter was. I felt that I'd exhausted every other option. Police? Nothing. And I'd tried more than once, both state and federal forces. Private investigators? Nothing. Searching the internet? Nothing. Courts couldn't or wouldn't do a damned thing. But I'd never given up on hope. Or a miracle. I still trawled online, posting her picture everywhere I could think. I received the occasional message, but it always came to nought.

John and Cheryl refused to say a word. Neither of us was surprised by that. Instead, they figured out why she was asking and they told her to leave, never to return. She told them to fuck off and that she was disgusted and ashamed to come from the same family as them, making sure she called them John and Cheryl when finally telling them what she really thought. I enjoyed hearing that story every so often.

Ely and Bill were now Ma and Pa to Kelly, while she called Jim's parents Mum and Dad. They adored Kelly just as much.

Returning to the farm to start work, I wandered inside to find Cathy on the phone, amused when she heard me walk in and she hung up immediately. I chuckled when she started to blush. "What's going on?" I wondered.

"Secret," she said.

"Secret eh? The sort of secret I'll get out of you with a tickle?"

"Don't even think about it!"

I walked towards her as she stood up and ran outside. I laughed, jogging after her. Bill watched us, chuckling away. She didn't go too far, eventually walking towards me, a look in her eyes suggesting I definitely don't tickle her. "Not even a little one?" She cocked an eyebrow, almost daring me to do it.

So I hugged her tightly. "Trust me," she whispered.

"Always. Is it a good secret?"

"Of course."

I gave it some thought. "Well, it is my birthday soon. Is it to do with that?"

"Maybe."

"I'll take that as a yes. You know I don't ask for much. A day with the family and friends is all I want. Maybe a few beers and a big juicy steak."

"Well, I think I can deliver on that, at least."

Cathy picked up the kids as I was busy at work alongside her father. He was muttering about retiring soon, though I'd heard that for the past five years. I knew he didn't want to drop dead working, but I knew walking away was going to be difficult. What interested me is that he wasn't pressuring Cathy and I to take over. He insinuated more than once about selling the entire place, splitting the money from the sale, so we could live comfortably elsewhere. "Always wanted to retire by the ocean," he said, "I've only seen it once in my life."

At least he and Ely did have their own little cottage, graciously giving Cathy and I the farmstead to raise our family. Bill and I had gone over the plans of the cottage as I insisted we didn't leave them with a small space. Ely told me more often than not that all they needed was a small place for privacy, and she was right. They spent most of their time in the homestead anyway.

Sitting back on the veranda, sipping at beers, Bill asked, "If I were to sell up entirely, give you and Cathy a considerable lump sum of cash, what would you do?"

I looked at the label of the beer before gazing out into the distance. "I really don't know, Dad. It would depend on what Cathy wants, to be honest. You asked her about this?"

"I have. She'd stay at home until Samantha was at school, then she'd look for part time work. She'd take the kids to school, pick them up, look for something that meant she could work from home otherwise. She was thinking you might like to return to what you were doing before."

"She has dropped a hint or two but I didn't know how serious she was being."

"Probably put my foot in it now."

"Nah, it's alright, Dad. Not sure Kelly would be too chuffed if she moved here only for us to leave a few years later. Guess it would depend on Jim though."

"He's smarter than he gives himself credit for. And there's always manual work available." He sipped at his beer. "Just the musings of an old man, son. Don't worry about it too much."

"Have you had offers?"

"Nah, I won't know until I put the land up for sale. Once I do, though, offers will flood in, and if they're desperate, they'll be offering thousands per hectare. Largest cattle station in Australia, down in South Australia, was priced at around $16 million a couple of years back. We'll be looking at a cool few million for this if we found the right buyer."

In bed that night, Cathy spooning back into me after we'd made love once the kids were asleep, I mentioned the conversation I'd had with him. It wasn't the first time he'd mentioned selling up. "He's getting tired," she whispered, "And I get the feeling he doesn't want to put all the responsibility on our shoulders."

Caressing her flat stomach, as she'd regained her figure rather quickly after Samantha, I asked, "What do you think?"

"I love living here but part of me thinks a slightly easier life with our kids... Not a major city, but a coastal town would be lovely. Like Dad said, somewhere near the ocean. The kids would certainly love it." She turned and snuggled into me. "These are just thoughts, Mark. Dad won't sell anytime soon. He's just getting thoughtful in his old age, and he also wants to look after his family."

I figured there was no point worrying about it for now. "So what's the secret?" I asked.

"You'll find out soon enough." She kissed me softly. "I love you."

"I love you."

We made love again before drifting off to sleep. Even after four kids, I think we rarely went two days without being intimate. But it wasn't always about just sex. It's not difficult to show how much your wife means to you. The smallest tokens and gestures of affection generally mean the most. We'd been married over a decade now and our relationship was stronger than ever. All we had to do was watch Ely and Bill to see how easy it could if we continued working at it.

Still, I did wonder what she had organised for my birthday. It wasn't a big landmark. I knew my fortieth would be a big deal, but that was still a couple of years away. Once I felt my wife drift off to sleep, I kissed her forehead, watching a smile appear even when asleep, before I put it out of my mind. We didn't keep secrets except when absolutely necessary. Birthday?

Yeah, I'd let her have this one.

My birthday thankfully fell on a Sunday, woken up early in the morning by soft, wet lips around my cock, lifting the sheets to see my wife hard at work. Throwing them back, I happily watched her until I asked her to move, happily watching my cock slide inside her before she leaned forward to kiss me. Rolling her over onto her back, she gave me a look. "You have plans, oh husband of mine?"

"Shame I shoot blanks. Knocking you up again on my birthday sounds like a fine idea!"

She laughed out loud. "No more, Mark!" She grabbed the back of my head, gently kissing me, "Though I do love the idea of you blasting inside me sometime soon."

"Ever told you how much I love you?"

"At least half a dozen times a day."

"Still only that? I was sure I upped the quota."

"I said at least, Mark."

We managed to finish before our kids invaded the bedroom. Thankfully, all they did was walk in to wake us up, say they were hungry, before they wandered out, Samantha stopping at the doorway, suggesting the room smelled funny. Soon as she disappeared, we burst into laughter.

Being the birthday boy, it was a full English for breakfast, Ely and Cathy getting everything prepared. The kids enjoyed toast and a juice before happily heading off to watch cartoons, the adults enjoying at least a little silence as we ate our own. Samantha ended up sitting on daddy's lap as he ate, occasionally wanting a small spoonful of baked beans.

Joining the kids in the living room, Ely and Bill walked in with a couple of presents for me, Cathy doing the same thing. I hadn't asked for nor expected anything, though I knew I'd always get a few small gifts. I simply appreciated the thought, thanking them as always. Cathy settled down next to me, snuggling into my side, my two daughters next to me, just wanting to be close to their daddy on his big day.

"Kelly is on her way," Cathy reported after her phone buzzed.

"Looking forward to a big steak?" Bill asked.

"Size of a dunny seat?" I wondered.

The adults laughed. He was about to say something when he cleared his throat. "Hmm, better watch my language. Yeah, we've got a couple of big ones to chew on later."

Cathy eventually moved, kissing my cheek as she disappeared, finding a daughter to either side rather quickly now that mummy had moved. Michelle was reading a book; Samantha was watching cartoons while cuddling into my side. I sat content with life, Ely and Bill glancing my way every so often, looking just as happy as I am. I knew what they were thinking, comparing the man who had appeared on their doorstep over a decade ago to the man they could see now.

"Mark, Kelly is here," Cathy announced from the door.

Getting up, the kids stayed where they were as I walked to the front door. Cathy stood in front of it, turning to kiss me deeply before she opened it. Walking outside as the doors to the ute opened, Kelly getting out of the drivers' side, the two kids joining her to either side. There was also another young woman getting out of the passenger seat...

I felt my legs go from underneath me as I collapsed to my knees, watching as she ran towards me, barely able to see as my vision blurred. I heard her scream only one word before she hugged me tightly as I just broke like a dam, the years of anguish and grief pouring out, hearing her repeat the same word plus a few more.

"I love you so much, daddy," she said ever so softly.

*****

Katie

I was five years old when Sally Samuels took me away from my father. At the time, I didn't quite understand what was happening. The last time I spoke to daddy on the phone, he had told me he would see me on Friday. I knew the days of the week. It was Wednesday night when I spoke to him. He said he missed me, that he loved me, and we'd got to the park on the weekend.

That obviously never happened. Sally lied. I didn't understand at the time. We left our home on the Thursday night, staying at a hotel near the airport. When I asked what was going on, Sally told me we were going to surprise daddy by flying to see him. The chance to see daddy first and surprise him? I was ever so excited.

Little did I know that Sally would practically drug me for the next three days so I slept the entire time. I figured out later, finding the tickets we'd flown out on, that we'd flown from Sydney to London Heathrow via Hong Kong. I slept nearly the entire way. It was only arriving in London that I woke up. I knew something was wrong. Even a five-year-old girl can figure out something isn't right. Sally was next to me, and I recognised the man next to her, though I didn't know his name.

"Where's daddy?" I asked as we waited in line. Sally just shushed me. I asked again and again as I knew something was wrong. When I started to cry, she tried to palm me off onto the strange man. I didn't like that at all. I made sure I wailed.

I ended up in the back of a taxi alongside them. I noticed Sally was snuggled into him, kissing him. Kissing someone who wasn't daddy. "Where's daddy?" I asked.

"I'll explain it when we get home," Sally replied.

Home? We weren't home. We were in some strange place I didn't recognise. Home was the apartment where daddy was. The taxi stopped, Sally grabbing me and almost dragging me out. Nothing looked familiar. It was also cold. "Where are we?" I asked.

"We live here now. This is our new home."

"What about daddy?"

She leaned down and made me face her. "He doesn't love you. He never loved you. Mummy loves you. And Tony here will be your new daddy and love you too."

Liar. I might have been five years old, but we're good judges of character at that age. I didn't like Tony just from looking at his face, into his eyes. They were dishonest. And Sally was lying. She'd lied to me before. She'd lied to daddy even more. She lied all the time. Kids smell bullshit quite well. We're not as gullible as people like to believe. "Daddy loves me," I whispered.

She grabbed me by the shoulders. "We live here now. We are your family. You'll learn to love Tony as your new daddy. Your old daddy was pathetic. He was nothing like your new daddy. He's going to give us everything we want and desire. You'll see soon enough. Now, do you want to see your new home?"

"No. I want to see daddy."

Sally just groaned and dragged me up the stairs into the house.

I didn't like my new room. It was cold. My clothes and toys were the same, but it lacked the warmth of the apartment. Sally insisted I called Tony daddy. I flatly refused straight away. "You'll never be my daddy," I spat within a week.

Sally spanked me for that. It wasn't the first time. Wouldn't be the last either.

I was sent to a new school. I didn't like many of my classmates. The teachers were mean. And they insisted on calling me Belinda, not Katie. "No, my name is Katherine Samuels," I said, "Daddy calls me Katie."

The teacher looked confused. "I'm sorry, that's not what I have on my roll form. You're here as Belinda Thompson."

Sally explained to me that night that she had changed my name for my safety. I had no idea what she meant, but there was a whispered conversation between Sally, the teacher and the principal. They sat me down and told me my name was Belinda. I was no longer Katie.

If I knew the phrase at that age, I'd have told them to fuck off. "My name is Katie!" I said, stamping my foot.

"She'll soon learn otherwise," Sally said. I didn't like her tone. I learned why when we got home. Sally and whoever else could call me whatever they liked. I was Katie. I made sure I wrote that name down anywhere I could, so I'd never forget.

After six months, Sally gave up on me calling Tony any title to do with fatherhood. He was either 'you', 'him' or just 'Tony'. I was sent to bed without dinner at least a couple of times a week for disrespect, but I didn't care. I learned later they were trying to manipulate me. Sally said at least once a day that daddy didn't love me, he'd forgotten about me, that he'd moved on and didn't care about me.

She lied. Every single day, she lied. I never called her that, not at that age. Every time, I just retorted with, "Daddy loves me." Sally hated that, the fact I never believed her.

Things changed when she fell pregnant when I was eight years old. Once their son was born, I wasn't forgotten but I was a reminder of my father. When a daughter followed two years later, I was just the oldest child in the house. They fed me. Clothed me. Made sure I went to school. But Tony withdrew all affection. At ten years old, I was pleased he wanted nothing to do with me. Sally... She had given up trying to manipulate me. I asked about my father at least three times a week. I knew it pissed off Tony, as I made sure to do it in front of him, though he never dared raised a hand in my direction. Started shouting at me, and I heard a few arguments. I remember distinctly one argument they had when I was approaching my eleventh birthday.