All Comments on 'Outlander Pt. 02'

Great story. Keep it going. 5* is not enough.

Just pointing put, your prices make absolutely NO sense.

15 gold for three tailored pants, but only 5 for four metal pieces of armor? An entire gold just to have a slave deliver a package? And yet 250 gold for a couple of knives that have been sitting on a shelf for years? *none* of it lines up.

I think you need to rethink his monthly pay rate. He spent nearly 3 years pay on that shopping trip. Vera charged him 1 gold just to deliver some gold and clothes. At those rates I don't think he earns enough to buy soap and toilet paper for the month. Security especially for royals are usually very well paid in an attempt to stop them from being bribed and keep them loyal. Especially if you expect them to lay down their life for you.

1 gold = $1 the armor was pieces from his uniform set and who says the short swords are basic?

Keep going, so the prices don’t make sense.... but the rest flows great. Keep the good work and keep growing

Better

Progress is slower (which is good), I would ease on the amount of details, we don't really need to know each item on his belt and pocket.

Great story so far. I think it has lots of potential. I gave it 5 *.

I absolutely love this story! You are a fantastic storyteller, and I will keep a sharp eye out for further chapters of this epic.

Normally i don't leave a comment on story but i just have to tell you that you're doing a great job so far and i hope you keep it up. On a sidenote hope you dont abandon the story because i have seen that happen way too much on literotica

Keep going just like you are. You will be the next Tefler/Ataski.

This story begs to go on forever. Or at least for a long while. This is freaking great.

Just finished this chapter, and i have to say, it's quite an improvement over the first one. You took a but more time with things and it showed.

You REALLY need to set down the currency for the world. especially if you plan on making this a series, cause your prices are all over the place. I'd suggest something like the D&D curreny method (quick google search). Was also wondering when the church was gonna show up, and here they are. Would have prefered a less confrontational introduction, but hey, you're the author, so you get first pick :P

Keep up the great work!

i forgot last comment. Greaves are shin guards not thighs, and ballistic armor is designed to stop bullets not blades. It will still stop them but won't be as effective as a purpose made armor.

I already love Princess Shalyndria, its great that she is helping the MC start his harem begining with Petra!!

Hoping Tessa joins and that he gets a cat girl of his own since Milla is sadly taken.

Ok I call bullshit on one detail, a former combat marine and until recently an LAPD COP is a virgin....OK this really is a fantasy

To all of you naysayers, gfy it’s his world, he can make greaves wtfe he wants to if he says the guys a virgin he is it’s his world we’re all just reading it. I loved or it, keep up the good work Gizmo!

Wow talk about lack of background so our erstwhile Hero is a Virgin at 25. He's also a combat trained Force Recon Veteran and a Lieutenant in LAPD SWAT? So volunteered at 18 did at least one tour overseas main I don't know this timeline seems all fucked up?

But his whole master of three martial arts is complete bullshit. The lack of backstory is a joke obviously Shaun boy was molested as a kid orphan or foster system hence no straight sex. And the whole military straight out of high school and zero social life outside martial arts and combat training.

But again the lack of any meaningful background is ridiculous considering how much exposition we get from the fighting scenes.