All Comments on 'Overmatched - Pt. 02'

I feel that as written, Katie had to go through a lot more misery than the MC. Keep in mind that this was repeated rape, which she believed she had to put up with to keep her husband alive. Now, I realize some respondents here are fine with that, and think that rape is no big deal, or that coerced rape somehow isn't as bad. In real life, just because it's coerced (by threatening the life of someone she loved) rather than violently forced, doesn't make it any less despicable or damaging to her.

Further, in the shoot out, she saved her husband's life, and then he shot her. That gives her a LOT of points in my book. Any bad feelings towards her SHOULD have been directed at the men who did this to her. She ended up giving up everything to save her husband.

As to the person who said the bad guys wanted them to stay together . . . well, not really. Remember how Powers, despite the original claims, started belittling him. And they were quite willing to kill him and keep her around. They did NOT really want them together . . . they just wanted to make as few waves as possible. They wanted to destroy the independent marriage; they succeeded. Bad guys win! But, at least they didn't survive to enjoy it.

"If you... enjoy the... sex with him." - I wouldn't care if she enjoyed it or not. She did it, it wouldn't make me feel better if she didn't enjoy it.

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"I'm going to enjoy it," she said earnestly but also with empathy. "He'll know the difference if I try to fake it." - What if she honestly doesn't enjoy it? She just said that he'll know if she fakes it.

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She won't run away? I would! Take off for a couple of years. Give her a way to contact him when she stops this crap. Maybe he'll come back, maybe he won't.

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" Katie's declining attitude and her productivity." - That's what she should do, stop being so good at her job!

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"I thought you said Mr. Perfect never trash-talked me?" - Nowhere does it say that she told him off.

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"concurrent twenty-year sentences" - Concurrent sentences are served at the same time, so he'd serve 20 years, not 150.

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"I had no idea nor proclivity that" - Proclivity means tendency to do something. I don't see how that fits in this context. And I think "that" should be "if."

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"You left me unattended and alone." - What choice did he have?

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@Mac_Lapu "why he had to shoot Katie when it was clear she was protecting. Him" - It wasn't clear, otherwise he wouldn't have shot her. She was aiming at someone behind him, from his perspective it looked like she was aiming at him.

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Part of me wanted a happy ending, part of me wanted him dumping her. I'm a little disappointed that she was the one to pull the trigger.

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I give the story 3.5, round up to 4.

What a wimp! His emotions were always out of line, he could never focus and every move he made was the wrong one. With the assholes dead and his wife doing everything to get back on track, he couldn't get his head out of his ass. I feel bad for the wife, she couldn't make a correct move. If she refused or quit, they would kill them, if she tried to protect them, crybaby fucked things up. I like the stories where the husband plots and plans and uses their weaknesses against them, not find their surveillance in his house and throw a drunken tantrum giving them evidence against him, or running away with no real plan.

Very good story, pretty sure Katie was a cheater all along. Enjoyed the over the top story. Thanks for writing.

This is as close to a perfect story as any other on this site, but the same poltroons who've never written anything more complex than tagging the odd boxcar or more creative than writing an obscene insult in a public washroom are lending their literary critique expertise. They wanted a Marvel Comics ending and got a John le Carré ending instead. Pearls/Swine! Keep 'em coming, just like this one.

"This is as close to a perfect story as any other on this site, but the same poltroons who've never written anything more complex than tagging the odd boxcar or more creative than writing an obscene insult in a public washroom are lending their literary critique expertise." - @The_John_Yossarian

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Wow, that's quite the statement coming from an account with 0 stories listed under it. I hate to break it to you but, while I've never tagged a boxcar, I have actually published my writing on this site (with an average rating >4). I've also written a lot more that has not yet been published or has been published elsewhere, including physical books back when books and magazines were the only options for publishing.

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Now, I'm not going to be stupid like you and assume you've never written anything based simply on the profile you're posting under, but I am going to laugh at you for assuming that about others based on the same lack of evidence.

The story is well written and held my interest but the ending was too much of a downer. Andy just could not get over his doubts and the effect on Katie led to them both being unable to reconnect fully. I like concillation stories so it left me feeling all was for nothing.

The thing is Katie started disrespecting Andy right at the awards banquet. She blindsided him, chose to publicly humiliate him and fly off with Jake. She could have told him, she could have at least mitigated some of his shock and humiliation. They could have taken solace in each other. She never even tried to fight them. She was fucked regularly and even admitted to losing respect for him while she was with Jake because of him losing his job, and being torn down verbally and psychologically. I don't think Katie was in the fight at all. She immediately acquiesced to everything, and went along with all of Jake's plans to humiliate her husband, and become his concubine, right from the very beginning.

To a douchebag named John Yossarian (whatever the fuck that is?) "Pearls/Swine"? "Poltroons"?

Dude. Shut your fucking trap.

Perfect story?

This story is alright. But it left me unsatisfied. I'm judging by its score that I'm not the only one either. The female lead character just never seemed like someone trustworthy. Ever. From the first description of her. She seemed very happy to settle into being a corporate whore and to fuck over her husband.

Despicable woman. Any wife worth her salt at the first hint of this whoring scheme would immediately resign her job and get her and her husband as far away from this horrific situation as possible. She would have heard rumors well before the senior executives got around to the formal proposition to her.

That she didn't react this way? Just allowed her and her husband to be pulled in and to be captured in this fly trap...an incredibly dangerous situation for both of them says a lot about how flawed and fucked up she actually was.

She just yet seemed "off" and unrelatable.

She got what she deserved. A lonely life and the loss of the love of a husband who adored her at the beginning of the story. Childless. And for a number of months perfectly happy to play the whore for a powerful and rich man.

Meh. If you can't relate to a character. Or ever figure out if the character is either good or bad? If rhe character just skates along in literature as an unsolvable equation? Neither good nor bad? Or you just can't figure out from paragraph to paragraph if the character is the antagonist or the protagonist? Well personally I find it annoying. And it leaves me dissatisfied.

That's how I felt with this story. I scored it a 4. But just as easily scored it a 3.

The author has good writing skills, but sadly chose a story line of low quality, and characters who were totally unlikable. It was a two star story.

The first chapter was really good in setting the story, also ended being misleading, we hope to see an story about the marriage (or mainly the husband) trying to fight the powers that by, either with success, failure or a big cost by then. Yes while the angst and the impotence of be incapable to stop the abuse that his wife was getting was a given by nature of the story, there was hope that the wife also fight and remaind true in her heart and soul...

Sadly this chapter trowns that incipent premise, and what we got ist a useless male protagonist, a world class hacker, thats basically outmanuvered and outgunned in every stage, until the covenient final act and even then, he only managed to shoot his wife... and she could be the most interesting character of the bunch, but ended being a cold and indiferent character, thats is depicted as going along and acept everything and even say that she will enjoy being fucked/abused/raped, resisting every effort, idea or chance that her husband can think or do and becoming an ambigous character, the prefer being dead by a couple of months rather to have a truthful conversation with her stupid husband.

So yeah, it was a bad end for a wasted story.

Second chapter was just a load of crap.

Sad, twisted tale.

The ending sucks

Is this the best ending you can come up with. 🤬🤬🤬

It's a five star story, and I don't like the end. Too many words unsaid. That first trip, did she or didn't she? The other questions? It would matter.

i think the fact that she left answered his unasked questions that was most likely in the journal. did like the split at the end there. no way any relationship was going to survive all of that

Not quite as good a finish as a start, but still very very good. MC was not as heroic, and I really was expecting a betrayal by Kate at the end.

Well written.

My favorite line was about coming in and out of concientiousness.

Your writing is great. The entire story was doomed by the riveting, but sadly confining first part. The second part could never measure up to the first part because, simply put, you pout the MC in a position he could not win, starting with a wife that clearly had zero real interest in him once she started with the boss. She did exactly what she was manipulated to do, and she put him in a position where no matter what, their marriage had to be a casualty. This story did stir some strong emotions, but unfortunately, they were disgust in the tale and the predictability of the outcome. There was NEVER a chance for any other ending, just more of the same violation of the MC's dignity and their marital vows.

Dang was expecting some crazy plot twist when she wanted to rekindle the relationship. It made almost 0 sense for them to get back together. I legit felt paranoid myself when he said ok. I had to look over my shoulder a few times like wtf is going on rn. Then it just ended with her leaving. If this comment seems like a criticism, it’s not, I really enjoy ur stories. I just got stoned af and honestly I can’t tell if I’m still paranoid or not. Oh well ima make some tacos

Second read and the story has gotten better. I agreed with Andrews thought process and I chalk up Katie's actions to being a survivor nut not a real fighter, I think she rationalized the situation and chameleon her way through the whole mess. Thanks for sharing.

It was a story. 1* because of the way the 'players' were handled and the outcome. Kate should have had another projectile projected between her cheating eyes. The writing was ok and must have projected what the writer wanted. His idea and mine were in conflict throughout this.

Completely unrealistic and absurd. This was so inane I couldn't bother to even finish reading this crap.

Started off well but as hubby's behaviour became increasingly irrational the plot veered towards the absurd and I was left wondering how such a clearly competent writer could get things so wrong.

LA

I enjoyed it, no need to rip it apart