Painting in Color

As I sit here crying and begging for forgiveness. In my minds' eye, all I can see are puzzle pieces falling and locking into place. But it's so very wrong!

Jake.

I didn't know where Cat had gone to. Since I'd moved home, she'd been real good at letting me know where she'd be going, and how long she was going to be gone. But she hadn't this time, and she's been gone quite a while, and I was getting concerned. I was thinking of finding my cell phone. When I heard her car in the driveway. It was somewhat of a shock when she came through the door laughing with Denise and a sack full of clothes. But it was a good shock. That she'd gone and gotten Denise on her own, meant something to me. A lot of some things.

I thought that maybe Cat would just try and ignore the time I'd spend away from her. I thought that if she did, it just might not be too healthy for us. Plus I didn't want to just forget about Denise. Cat trying to ignore that time, would have made it hard for me to include Denise in my life. I didn't want to have to choose between having an open friendship, or keeping my friendship with Denise separate. That could have led to a lot of jealousy. Denise was my friend, and she was going to stay my friend.

But my beautiful Cat didn't do that, she went and got Denise on her own. That told me a lot of things. We were going to be OK, Cat and I. Furthermore, she was going to except the good things of the last four years. Even though Denise is about the only really good thing in those years. That and getting back into painting.

Also the confidence I got in my own independence. I wasn't helpless like I'd been so afraid of. I'd taken care of myself for four years, with very little outside help. That had been one of my deep seated fears, not being able to take care of myself from this wheelchair. Of becoming a burden on everyone else, an invalid.

The painting just gave me a new direction for my life to go. We'd talked about that, Cat and I. We'd decided to set up a studio in the other downstairs bedroom. Even had a utility sink plumbed in, and replaced all the lighting with natural light fixtures. That room, like all of them in our home, had a great deal of large windows. So we took off all the curtains, and let all the natural light flood in. I never planned on this room as a studio, but almost all the windows in it ended up facing North. North light is the most stable, true color light throughout the whole day. Perfect for a studio.

Cat had jumped into this change of direction quicker than I did. I tried to slow her down, but she'd gotten the bit in her teeth, and was off to the races. She'd gotten the hospital, where she works, to designate a hallway wall as a mini gallery for me. She was working on Julie and a restaurant in the mall to do the same. I guess she wanted me to live with a brush in my hand. She'd ordered two more easels, and was looking into cabinets and counter tops, storage. Stainless steel counter tops.

I'd started to talk about running a small engineering design company from our home. She jumped in and started talking about using the little upstairs bedroom. Getting a home elevator installed, and tax credit. Work station, light box, and employee tax id. LLC. Registration. I caught that plan before it snowballed and said we had to wait on that. It was like she was trying to make up four years time in just a couple of months.

Well, after laughs and hugs, pecks on the cheek. I asked Cat to show Denise the bigger upstairs bedroom, and where to put her stuff. Then to give her a small tour of the upstairs, that I'd handle the downstairs tour. They were laughing all the way upstairs, but it was sad watching Denise with her little sack of clothes.

Sad watching Cat too. Maybe we should have had some kids. She should have had a daughter.

I can't take pretty girls out dining and dancing any more. But we can do the dinning part. I'd like to take Denise out some place really nice. That paper sack doesn't hold an evening dress, furthermore I'd bet Denise has never had one or even seen very many. Antonio's restaurant sounds about right.

On the house tour with Denise, it's fun to watch the amazement on her face. Amazement about our house, the look of wonder. Life has been tough for her and her family. She's probably never been in a home like this. Definitely not the home of someone who's a friend.

I guess it's maybe because I can see her pride in me about the design, and beauty of the house. It doesn't hurt too much to let her know that I didn't get to build the house with my own two hands. Cat had to get others to actually do the building. She did a good job though, the house is worth close to a couple mil. Even Cat's amazed when I point out the post I was moving when my leg broke.

"Would my two lovely ladies honor me with their presence at dinner on the town tonight? Antonio's sound about right?"

"Oh, Denise he wants to take us out fancy, fancy tonight."

"I can't include any dancing, so it needs to be special dinning for my girls."

"I...I...don...Can't we just go for pizza or hamburgers Jake? I...I...don't have anything that I could wear to a place like that."

"I know Denise, that's going to be part of the fun. Cat, doesn't Julie work today?"

"O yes, now I see the fun. We get to go shopping girl friend. Jakie's going to buy us dresses, pretty, pretty dresses. Come on Denise, my girl friend, we'll take my car. Hurry up Jake, and bring your credit card. We're going to buy pretty, pretty dresses."

That sounded so funny in Cat's sing song, put on little girl voice. So after we transferred my light frame chair to the car trunk. Slid my ass into the passenger seat of Cat's car. We headed toward the mall. Yes, our special fashion consultant was working today. Just special for us, she came down from her high office to...consult.

"So I hear Jake's buying dresses today? Special dinners, night out on the town. Ooh lucky girls. Is that her Jake, the one who helped with the painting?"

"Yes that's her, that's Denise. She's had a tough life Julie. Cat brought her over for the weekend. She had just a paper grocery bag of clothes with her. Sad to say, it's probably about most of her clothes. Certainty nothing nice, jeans, tees, and most of those pretty worn. From what we've talked about, I doubt she's even had a nice dress before. And yes, she helped with the painting. Hell, I even put a paint brush in her hand for some of the background work."

"She's a pretty girl Jake, just right at that special stage in her life. She could be both a little girl, or a young woman. Depending on how she dressed, or feels. But, I think that if you buy a little girl dress, three women will beat you about the head and shoulders."

"Well, oh mighty fashion consultant I put us all in your hands."

"Where do you plan on taking them for dinner tonight?"

"I thought about Italian, at Antonio's."

"How about that new place, The Castles Keep. It's a lot more wheel chair friendly. The menu's more varied, and they have some nice outdoor balconies. That would be very nice on an evening like tonight. Plus, we'll get her a young ladies dress, but she's still young enough that tomato sauce is a possible danger. It would break her heart to stain her first fancy dress."

"Great idea, thanks Julie."

"How about this Jake, you buy one set of the works, dress, shoes, lacy underwear. Then I'll buy another set, then she'll have a choice. Furthermore I'll take her to our beauty salon for hair and just a touch of make-up. Then you buy dinner, sound good?"

"If that's what you would like to do Julie. Sounds great, but do you think we'll have enough time?"

"I think that there should be enough. You men are so lucky, you don't have all these fashion problems. If you just got a nicer shirt here, or maybe a shirt and sport coat. You wouldn't even have to go home first then. Ooh, then here's a nice idea. There's a park on Lincoln Street right on the way. Stop there and let the girls do a little promenade on the pathways, which are paved by the way. Buy a little of their bread pieces and feed the ducks in the pond. Then cruise on up for evening dinner, overlooking the lights of the city."

"Wow, I got my whole evening out planned by a professional. All great ideas Julie. But then yours always are. Want to come with?"

"Yes...yes I think that I would like that Jake. I...I haven't been out yet, since Dennis died. Mom's been pushing me, saying that I had to get out of that house. Maybe tonight, with you, Cat, and Denise. Is the time to dip my toes into the water and get out. I know Carl the maitre d' up there, I'll call and set it up. About 8pm?"

"Yeah, 8pm sounds about right."

At that I headed off for a shirt and coat. Which of course took a lot less time than the girls did. Julie's done some really different things in her store. There's one place where she's created a viewing area for the men. Four large screen TV's in a circle, all facing out, a little seating. Then four different games or sporting events on all the time.

Between those and more flat screens by the men's fitting rooms. She said her men's clothing sales has risen several percentage points. The ones by the women's fitting rooms has helped too. Except their set on fashion channels. Julie's a very intelligent and daring woman.

When they come back, it's an entirely different Denise. Julie was right again. Gone is the little girl, with an amazing young woman standing there. You can tell that she'd not comfortable in that yet. She feels the change though. It's not a 'little black dress', but it's got that classic look to it. Plus it's not black, almost a deep satin sable.

I would have never have picked that color. I can see what Julie's doing though. It's an elegant classy dress, that could go with almost anything. Or go to almost anywhere. The thing it goes with the most is Denise herself. I guess I never noticed Denise's appearance much before. She was just Denise my young friend.

With her light blond hair, and her bright green eyes, fair skin. That exact shade of sable, just goes. Now that I really look at Denise I realize that her green eyes are almost the exact shade as Cat's. I've always loved Cat's eyes, they have an iridescent quality, a flash to them. Denise is going to be beautiful, and for some reason that makes me feel proud. Even though I don't have a reason to be.

"Hey Jake, scoot. I'm going to take your lovely ladies for shoes and to the salon. I know just how muuuu..ch you men just looo...ve to shoe shop, and sit around watching finger nails dry. Go out into the mall, get a cupp'a, an ice cream, or something. Sit and watch the T&A go by. This is the part that's going to take some time, so scoot."

"OK bossy lady, but I think your T&A comment has our little missy red faced and mouth open."

"Julie and Jake quit picking on her. But it does look so cute on her. Come Denise we'll leave these two to laugh it up and go get all fancied. Just fork over that credit card Jakie."

"No Cat, this parts on me. Remember I'm the one who gets the big employee discount."

Since shopping has become a sport, men have done this. Been joyfully relegated to the side lines. But I haven't done this in over four years, people watching. It kind of crowds in on me, the noise and the people. Hibernating in that cave of mine, has really put me away from life. I think that this might be the first time I've been in any type of crowd, since I crawled out of that cave.

I can still feel it some, that disassociation, even the chair adds to that feeling. Just not quite in that flow of people swimming through life. Still it feels good to get out, and at least watch life flow around me. Yes, even to watch the tits and ass go by. Damn but they look so young, even more than Denise did in that dress. Guess I'm just getting old, but 42 is not really...that old.

The park's all that Julie said it was. Asphalt paved walk ways, cool trees, green grass. A small area with swings and monkey bars. The walk ways are curved and wander through out the park. It's about fifteen or twenty acres in size. There's a small pond there with some ducks and fish. A little stand where you can buy bread pieces and some types of fish food. They're greedy and used to being fed. I have a hard time not feeling a bit of masculine pride.

My three ladies are miles above any others in the park. Dressed to the nines and each of them with their own distinctive beauty. They have a right to enjoy all the attention their getting. I think Denise is going to develop into a woman ever so much like Julie. Even at fifteen she's tall and lean, long legs. She even walks a little like Julie, that almost stalking strut.

Maybe she's just following along, imitating Julie. She definitely starting to relax. My whistles and cat calls are drawing laughs from them. My talk of swinging asses, bring a few stuck out tongues. But it did cause a little extra swing in a fifteen year old ass, and a laugh from the others.

I think society is missing things like this now. Our great-great grandparents used to do this. Promenade in the park on a Sunday afternoon or after church. Young men and girls dressed up to impress each other. Families with blankets and picnics. Kids running free in the sun shine. Maybe with new friends, All showing off either their family or their fancy clothes, meeting new people. Just having fun.

I watched an old man, sitting on a bench. Just feeding seeds to the pigeons, all sad and lonely. When the girls approached him a smile broke like the sunrise on his face. A happy chuckle started that turned into a laugh. This drew a wink and a little finger wave from Cat. Julie leaned down and put a small kiss on his forehead. As they walked past Denise did a pirouette and a finger wave to him. It wasn't much, but maybe it brighten his day just a little bit. I know it would have mine, in his place.

Castle's Keep, was a more than apt name for the restaurant. All stone and mortar, heavy and solid, with medieval styling. Hell it even had turrets and crenulations. The entry was steps up to a double heavy oaken doors. With door guards in period costume, but it did have ramps up the sides. Julie was right it was a very wheelchair friendly place.

It was friendly, but it was also formal dining. I could see the tension rising in Denise. More when she saw the table with all its myriad of silverware, water and wine glasses, tea cups and saucers, multiple plates, even finger bowls. I made it a game of showing Denise how everything was suppose to be used. Then doing the exact opposite, being rude and crude. Julie and Cat picked up right away. They took over the instruction, while I did the comedy overlay.

Fortunately the little balcony we got only had room for three tables, our larger table and two couple's tables. Only one of them was occupied, so I didn't have to much of an audience. Anyway they laughed a little too. It settled Denise into the group just like I wanted it too. Her introduction to formal dining was a lot more fun than mine had been. All stuffed shirts and straight backs, staged whispers.

Again Julie was right. The evening couldn't have been better for dinner on the balcony. Warm with a slight touch of coolness as the dusk fell. Plenty of light during the main of the meal. As we settled into drinks and dessert, the lights of the city started to shine.

At one point during the evening, I tried to think what it might look from Denise's point of view. All the waiters in their black satin vests, stark white shirts, creased black trousers. The rest of the serving staff in period costume. It must seen like a fairy tale evening. I kind of wanted it that way too. I wanted to show her a different side of what life could be. Maybe what she could achieve, if she worked hard and grabbed for the brass ring. She sure had two examples of successful women right in front of her.

I wanted that for her, that example of what good choices in life can achieve. Not putting her mom down too much, but Denise needed some good examples. I've tried to talk to her about the choices we make in life. Denise is very intelligent, I think that if she applied herself in school a little more. She might be able to break out of that mold of her family. I want to help her do that, even if it's just showing her good examples.

We didn't get kicked out of the keep, but we should have. It got late. They looked like they were wanting their table for the next group. So we left, thus it was quite late when we got home. We didn't do much more than talk a bit, then head for bed.

But morning was more what I'd imagined it could be like. All of us in the kitchen cooking. I was dicing, frying, and getting ready for cooking omelets. Cat was mixing up some muffins, and Denise was cutting up some melon. It was fun, a lot of hip checking, and I ran over a few toes. A little friendly water thrown, and towels snapped.

At the table everyone was hungry enough that things settled down. At least until that grape bounced off my forehead. Then the battle was on. Fortunately the butter was left off the pieces of flying muffin, no sausage grease spots showed up on clothes or hair. So it wasn't quite Animal House, but fun.

It took me a while to realize why Denise seemed so much more relaxed and happy. Her home atmosphere couldn't have been very pleasant. I can't remember her family joking or laughing together. Anytime I'd been around Carol, her mother, the depression and worry radiated off her. With John playing video games with his friend all the time. Denise didn't have much to smile about, and she had to realize what her mother's worry was all about.

If Cat and I can have Denise over several times. Maybe we can show her a different side of life. Along with some positive examples. Give her an emotional mini vacation. John I don't know what to do about though, I just never connected with him. I guess we'll invite him along too, that should give Carol a little break on her food budget.

Denise must have still been feeling her fancy dress evening. After breakfast and clean up, all we did was talk. Coffee and tea cups, couches and chairs, most of the conversation was between Denise and Cat. They had to do a lot of connecting, finding out about each other. Denise was quite the young lady though. It was a very mature conversation about things like her school and friends. Some about her hopes and dreams.

Cat was the one to approach her about making weekends with us a regular occurrence. Not all the time, but maybe every other weekend or so. Some times on holidays or over the summer. That bought out the happy little kid again. I suggested that we should get her a garment bag to carry her new dresses and such back and forth.

So it was back out shopping, not to any place expensive. I didn't want Carol to feel too much in our debt. Although I knew she still would, with even just the dresses. Then we hit the fun place for lunch.

The BBBB&B, Billy Bob's Big Burger Bar, their décor is over the top red neck. The staff's all in costume and tries to imitate a southern hillbilly drawl, but their burgers are great. Real man burgers, big, greasy, with any fixings you can possibly want, even the kitchen sink. Cat says I just like the daisy duke shorts on the waitresses.

There was a small zoo on this side of town. So we rolled along through that a while, bought Cat and Denise matching sweat shirts with monkey faces on them. But we were running out of time. We wanted to get a light dinner fixed and done before we had to take Denise home. Tomorrow was a school day.

By the time we got done with dinner, it was getting late. So I stayed home while Cat ran Denise home. It wasn't long before the phone rang. It was Cat's cell, I started to worry about a car wreck or something.

"Jake, we've got a real problem."