All Comments on 'Panties'

so if he was never married to Laura how did he file for divorce?

one star for the cuck story and no cuck tag

That story was crap and Bob is just a dumbass.

Honestly? My cat puts more emotion into licking it's tail than your characters put into the story. It was like reading a series of mechanical events.

For your how piece of mind dont ever take back a cheater

Good story. I like it. AAAA++++

Are you the writer who used to use the name Winterfrog ?

"marriage was out of the question" I could never trust her. Unless I missed it you and Laura were never divorced. so how could marriage be out of the question.

Really a poor RAAC ending ?

When did they get divorced?

The wife is a skank, but the husband is a mentally-challenged control freak with more red flags than an Olympic slalom cours.e

boring and formulaic

This was all over the place. The characters' actions make no sense, and the dialog was so stilted that their explanations sound even more nonsensical.

I am a bit confused about Bob and Laura's marital status. At one point Bob said "The next day I asked my lawyer to file the divorce papers." Later Bob writes "If the words girl's night out were even mentioned, I would file for a divorce." Then a bit later Bob writes "Would you please reply in writing to this note? No reply means it is not acceptable, and you wish to divorce.". In the epilogue Bob says "Laura and I have lived together for ten years, an excellent ten years. We were never married." There was no mention of there being an actual divorce taking place. He instructed his lawyer to file, yet later he threatens to file. The it turns out they were not married? Yet in the beginning of your tale, he calls her "wife". Consistency makes for good tale telling.

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One final critique, the writing of your story lacked pathos, It was dull. The idea was good, but the execution, not so much.

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Please keep trying. One can only improve if one keeps at it.

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Pasqual

A confusing mess. Not well written at all.

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Plot-wise…did they get divorced? You have 2 sections where you had him telling Elenor about his situation. And Lara’s reasons for cheating could only b3 explained by the Martian Slut Ray.

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Overall….just poor. 2 **

The situation is different and interesting. But the writing is too mechanical and emotionless.

Try using more dialog between people to describe things, and fewer emotionless sentences/paragraphs explaining it. It makes the story longer and is more difficult to write. But it might make for a better story.

Boring. Devoid of human emotion. Not erotic.

If Bob and Laura are not married but just living together,

why the heck Bob went through a divorce lawyer??!

But if they did then...

Aw shucks this is one cuckold story. Enuff said.

I hate cuckold/wife sharing stories.

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Thanks for the effort author.

The story feels finished to me.

You are confused about how to spell adultery, apparently. Not that it matters, since you're a cuck writer, I won't be reading any more of your illiterate ramblings.

Crazy. I hate to say it but it sounds like she wins and he loses. She got her fling and now has everything as it was except for a marriage certificate. He got cucked. Why live with a person you cannot trust? She can still sleep around. All that matter sis they are not married. IN some US states it can still be thought of at a marriage and he loses money is a "divorce". Wasn't it called "Palamony"?

Why the fuck would anyone want to write a sequel to this garbage??

Ugh.

You take a decent plot and just seem to sketch it down. No details. And you don't even edit. At the end you have them unmarried and living together but never married. Nowhere did you say they divorced. They were separated 3 months.

So, confusion here, you write at the end that u never married Laura but lived with her for 10 years!!!???

Yet at the start of the story you were married to her. You separated for three months but never divorced her. Get your story right, you never reread what u wrote.

Scores 1/5 just too mixed up for my taste

Good grief. Who ever heard of a 50 yr old woman going to the bar d as bud drinking till she’s drunk?

OFFS!

I'm sorry but I don't think you put much effort into this story. There is very little emotion, the mistakes are plentiful, and the holes are wide. I gave it 2 stars. As an author myself, I always put maximum effort into writing my stories and feel others should do the same.

WTF- why would anybody want to write a follow up or a different version? You authors need to stop this bullshit. February was one of the worst story with follow ups. Give this shit a rest. I didn't care for this story at all. A wimp and his whore. All this shit of PI's and bugging cell phones is getting old. Who does this shit? I had my fling, I want my marriage back? Really? And the idiot did it. 1* for this unrealistic crap.

Incomplete. Jumping from separated to divorced without putting it in the story.

What a waste of reading this recount of a gilded husband. Maybe it’s therapy for him to write it but not fun for the reader.

Never said they let the divorce go through. It was a trial separation but then they are divorced and just living together? Also, after one date, he was ready to Marry Elanor? Did he want to be a 3 time loser? Take a breath buddy. Keep writing but get an editor, this was pretty rough.

Oddly written.

3 month separation, talk of the separation during those 3 months, then, all of a sudden, they are divorced?

leads to a reality in stupidity about being in love. TK U MLJ LV NV

Learn how to write conversations. You seem to use quotation marks when you feel like it. .

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NEVER write conversations as one paragraph. When the character speaking changes, start a new paragraph.

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If a paragraph doesn’t begin with a quotation mark, that indicates it’s narrative.

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When one character is speaking and is not uninterrupted by narrative or another character talking, every paragraph starts with a mark, but only the last one has a closing mark.

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This have nothing to do with not being a professional writer. ANYONE past grade school should know these.

Meh, same old same old.

Stilted writing style that doesn’t get the reader into the story and as such devoid of emotion.

he took her back with no consequences.

she got away with it

This isn't your best by far. Laura didn't deserve the RAAC after her unrepentant cheating. She came back only after Richard dumped her. Not a cuck, but very close.

Please don't write alternate endings or other versions of this rubbish! The husband is nothing but an arrogant, pompous loser who thinks he can control his wife. NOT WORTH writing about again and again.

This 'writer' NEEDS to do a lot of work on their writing.

The writing is a bit monotone, the storyline is pretty good. Please keep writing

Poorly written.

The dialogue was extremely stilted and hardly the way any one actually speaks.

It was like reading a menu at Denny's.

And sorry, him being ok with her effectively dumping him for another man just makes him a worthless cuck...sorry but thats what he is. When all things are considered there would have been no RAAC at the end of this disaster.

But like others have said you need an editor you have talent just work at making it better.

A realistic tale of adultery with no super geek acts or trained warrior responses so that made this a believable creation. By the end of the story my first thought was that I was reading a report from Sergeant Joe Friday; just the facts and little emotion. There are a few time when the author wanted to be quoting one character but wrote the sentence in the third person. Maybe a few more creative writing classes would smooth out the story flow.

Look like he is still writing so I need to read one or two of his stories.

2 stars from me for all of the excellent reasons the other commenters have brought to your attention. Mechanical, dull, and nonsensical.

@ScorpioJJ said what I was going to say...A lot of mistakes ruined this story...1*

He should have beat the shit out of the seducer. Its OK to take the ex wife back as a fuck buddy and a house mate, but she destroyed their marriage and should accept that reality. Apparently after 10 years they never really fell in love again. If he can't trust her after 10 years of intimate living then obviously something is missing from the relationship. Keep her around for pussy and finances, and let the chips fall where they may.

Ugg... There is a germ of a decent plot in there but the narrative is over simplified and little to no character development as a result. 2*

A real turnoff. They deserved each other. A loser and a slut.

Stilted, but interesting. Each story seems to be better than he last. Keep it up.

LWlurker

What about the panties in the drive??

… and I like your characters. Your writing style is a bit stiff, and a little too much “just the facts.” It would read much better if you improved the flow. Thanks for writing

Quite bad.....too disjointed.

Decent outline. Now go turn it into a story.

Parts of your story don't fit together. If you say separation, it should be too. In the last part, however, the two are divorced! It seems to me that you haven't told part of the story. You should definitely work on your narrative style. Exciting stories thrive on dialogue and believable characters!

What a fucked up mess....

2 stars. Divorce and NEVER look back or try to reconnect. Once a cheater, always a cheater.

How many brain dead husbands/men can you write about. He lost first wife to GNO but refuses to say "sure, but only after you sign the divorce papers." Nothing wrong with GNO as he suggested or to go to a nice restarant or movie. But a night club or bar with a dance floor?? Not a husband I know would had out a Hall Pass like that unless he wanted to get ride of her. If you did want get rid of her, you could always buy her one of those upholstered roller skates called a Smart Car and upgrade her life insurance so you can get some benefit from it...

Did I miss something in the storyline, you talked about the separation but never a divorce between them? Too many details missing to make the storyline flow properly. Needs a rewrite to make it interesting.

See the man. He does not know his wife does those things. She is a bad wife. He is mad. He is sad.

Oh well.

You do not know the simplest quotation mark rules. It's very distracting.

This is not a story. There is no plot.

This is just a mish mash of painful thoughts about a relationship going through difficult times.

There is nothing for a reader to enjoy in this report.

If this is true, I feel bad for your sadness, but it is so poorly written that I never felt anything cross over to my world, as it should if it is literature.

""I would also have to know you were never going to have lunch again with Richard or see him for any reason."" Who helped you to write like a 6th grader?? You need a crash course in Grammar, quickly. Could have been a fair story, but.....

She behaves as if she has made a simple decision, not like a wife who has betrayed her husband and is asking for forgiveness. I can't believe she has any love for him.

You talk of Laura and Bob married for over 20 years,. Then she strays, he stars divorce proceedings, and they separate for 3 months. No mention of the Divorce being final. They start living together again for more that 10 years with no Marriage, however they were never divorced as I read?

Details!

Thanks for writing.

She doesn't love him, just wants a pet. Divorce her and move on. Cuck shit.

What race of people speak like this? They never use contractions, such as I'm, don't, won't etc. Read some old Elmore Leonard, Mickey Spillane or other decent pulp writer. Stop writing like an instruction manual.

Terrible! Don't give up your day job.

Was like reading a text a computer wrote. Zero emotion, the words toe didn't flow like a good story should, of you insist on continuing to write, first get lessons in it, then get a proof reader, followed by an editor, this site is not like it used to be alas

Comment on the topic and story not the poor writing. They never divorced but only separated for a few months. He takes her back on her word she stopped having extramarital sex yet says they do not marry. They were married.

BUT even if they were not married, how does he trust her - marriage or not? She had her fling and loved the sex and romance (new puppy). So now she has the roof over her head and a companion. What did he get out of it other than dating another cheater, no sex, and his slut back?

Like this: “I woke up. I went downstairs. I poured a cup of coffee. I drank it. It was too hot. Then I went back upstairs…”

Tedious to read.

Nothing about this feels realistic or natural. There are nearly zero emotions at all. This guy has two wives cheat on him and there's no real reaction? And she truly suffers nothing. She has her affair. Like she said, he'd tire of her, and then she returned to her husband.

PLEASE STOP WRITING OR GET AN EDITOR!!!

Very wooden style of writing.

Decent story but stilted writing. Loosen up.

All over the place....

My wife and I went through a rough patch similar to this. No infidelity, at least I do not believe so, but her family had long since made up their minds that I was a bad guy, and they were overly involved at one point, and since she decided to fix her marriage to me, they all disowned her. We were separated for 10 months, and two teenaged kids with disabilities and disorders taxed our marriage severely, and I was always not home due to being a pilot taxed our marriage. Moving closer to her family was supposed to help but the intent was nefarious.

So…when did he actually divorce Laura, such that he never married her after they got back together?

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2 **

If the MC was stupid enough to remarry her, he'd best have his divorce attorney on speed dial. BTB

OK, so when did he divorce her. From what I read they never divorced.

If someone actually did that... live with his ex, do all the things they did when married, but said... "Hey, I don't trust her!" He is just as untrustworthy and shallow as the woman he divorced. If you want a clean break, then do it that way and both move on.

This story struggled to maintain a path. It never said they divorced but they never married…

"DIVORCE HER AND NEVER GO BACK"!

Missed the paragraph where they got divorced.

im confused! when did they acutely get divorced??

Reread this. I should've checked if I'd read it before. It still sucks. He explains twice to the same person about his separation. He indicates "Laura needs to have some pain" and then proceeds to inflict nothing. There's a brief time out where she's still getting attention from others. What a weird, robotic unenjoyable story. 1*

A little confusing at times, but I liked it.

Dumb fuck story.

In the next chapter it will go on tell how she became a full fledged slut wait the first time she cheated on her husband she was already a full fledged slut she just later becomes a whore and of the husband tried to be something he's not a man but him forgiving and moving back in with her and having a relationship with her other then between there kid made him a cuck bitch and real man would have kicked to the curb and then made her and her lovers life hell

She wants to find love with another man and thinks of her husband as an old dog. Just something to be with because she's comfortable but not in love.

She's not a good wife, not even a good person. He deserves better than her and Eleanor.

5 stars tho. I always enjoy your stories.

It was okay, but almost just like your GNO story (titled as such). The only real difference is the woman from work that he was dating was still seeing her lover that caused her own divorce. Nothing new here.

Very childish written and hard to follow. Not worth finishing either.

Good letter for Dear Abby, not a great read in Literotica.

She didn’t even deserve this semi RAAC.