All Comments on 'Passion Beyond Youth Ch. 01'

Pretty good 2 pages. Should have included a warning that it was incomplete or part of serialization. I am upset at my waste of time. 1*

My apologies. I'm new at this. There is definitely more to come. I appreciate the feedback and will learn from it.

I like it! Regardless of what some might say in the forum, I don't think you need to write in the 1st person to tell a story from someone's perspective, in fact 3rd person might help it be relatable to a wider audience. It's definitely a story told from Sarah's (spelled "Sara" at least once in Ch. 02) perspective, coming into (returning to) her power, but older, wiser, less willing to put up with crap, still gorgeous and fit, and willing and able to use that. It doesn't matter to me that she never specifies her ex-husband's profession, only that we know from her use of "practice" in that sense that he was a professional, and well-off -- he's her ex-husband and as such is irrelevant to the story except as background: a mistake she won't make again. Keep it coming!

Thank you. And for the pointers. This was my first submission so a bit raw.

I will keep it up!

It's great. Another wonderful newly discoveref author -- my favorite kind.