Pavlov's Conditioning

On the hour-long ride back, Delilah and Jessica sat in the front and engaged in a long, gossipy conversation. That's when it dawned on me that I truly had been the innocent baby of the family.

"I'm so glad you're here. I only arrived yesterday, but Ma is driving me crazy already!" Delilah pushed an errant, red curl back behind her ear. "She says I wear too much make-up, my clothes are all wrong, I show too much cleavage, blah blah blah."

Jessica sighed. "Girl, tell me about it. I'm not looking forward to it."

"Oh well, at least you're here to take some of the pressure off. Although I see Molly hasn't changed much. Still dressing like a plain-clothes nun, Molly?" She caught my eye in the rearview mirror and winked.

I blushed and shrugged. It was true that I hadn't really changed my style much. Jessica had tried to get me to go shopping with her at the Goodwill, but I felt very comfortable in my long skirts and blouses and didn't really want new clothes.

"She might look like a nun, but she definitely doesn't act like one!" Jessica said then.

Delilah's eyes widened. "Oh really? Don't tell me Molly's lost her virginity already? It's only been one semester!"

Jessica giggled. "Well, she hasn't had sex yet, but I at least taught her how to give herself an orgasm. Isn't that right, Molly?" She turned in her seat and raised her hand for a high-five.

I half-heartedly connected my palm with hers and rolled my eyes.

"I can't believe it!" said Delilah.

"Oh yeah, believe it. Our little baby sister diddles her pussy every single day. And I get to watch because we share a bedroom!"

My cheeks burned even hotter at this. "Jessica!" I protested.

"Shut up!" Delilah practically screamed. "You're totally shitting me. Molly, is this true? Are you really jerking off every day?"

"Ugghhh," I said, letting my head fall back on the seat cushion. "I don't want to talk about it."

"I'll talk about it for her!" Jessica interjected.

And she did. She gave Delilah all of the details of how she led her innocent, baby sister down the path to hell. My sisters cackled with laughter and delight and from there, the conversation devolved even further.

"So how many guys have you fucked this semester?" Delilah asked Jessica.

"Oh geez, like I can keep count."

"Way to get it, girl! Better now than later. It's harder to find guys to fuck after college. There's not enough time with all the lesson plans and classes." Delilah said with a sigh. She was a high school English teacher. "I have like a zillion essays to grade during this break."

"What about the other teachers? There's no banging in the breakroom?"

"Yuck, those guys are all like seventy-billion years old. Not interested."

Then Jessica lowered her voice dramatically. "What about the students? Any hotties?"

Now it was Delilah's turn to blush. "Well, there was one student..."

Jessica and I both gasped, although hers was one of delight and mine was of horror.

"Don't worry, Molly, he was 18. His cock was like this big!" She lifted her hands up off the steering wheel for a second and set her palms about ten inches apart. "He couldn't last very long, but oh man, I haven't been stuffed that full in a long time. I made him fuck me three times in a row because he just kept coming after only a few minutes."

"You don't have any big cocks in your little black book, Del?"

Delilah sighed again and shook her head. "I do, but they're all busy or they get girlfriends or whatever. I'm telling you, it's not that easy to find no-strings-attached sex buddies in the real world, so enjoy it while you can."

They continued chatting about men and the best way to pick them up. I tuned out the conversation and thought about how different we were despite our apparent mutual love of sexual pleasure. My sisters were so much more outgoing than I was. They didn't seem to have any problem with having sex with multiple people or having a lot of fuck buddies.

If I ever had sex, it would be with someone meaningful, I thought to myself. Someone I really cared about.

When we got to the house, it was crammed full of siblings. It wasn't until someone mentioned that Connor wouldn't be there that I realized I had been looking forward to seeing him.

My oldest stepbrother was more like a stranger to me. I got to know Robbie and Sean not only because I lived with them longer, but also because they came home for the holidays and summer breaks more. Since he had graduated high school, I could count on one hand the number of times I had seen Connor.

"Connor's hit the big time, you know. He's got some fancy title at his engineering firm and makes a ton of money," Robbie said one night as Jessica and I played a board game with him after our parents had gone to bed. Delilah and Sean had snuck out to a local bar, so it was just the three of us.

"I didn't think engineers made that much money," Jessica said.

Robbie shrugged. "He's some kind of consultant or something. They ask him to speak all over the country. Actually, he told me he's going to spend a month in Reno during the summer for some kind of workshop."

I perked up at hearing that. I would be in Trafton for the summer, which was only an hour away--maybe we would get to see him?

"Does he like living in Chicago?" I asked.

"I guess so? He's not at home much because of all the traveling. Your college is pretty close to Chicago, you know. You guys haven't visited?"

"Well, I don't have a car and she's too busy," I said, pointing my thumb at Jessica. And of course, we hadn't been invited. I didn't even have Connor's phone number.

Robbie nodded, although I didn't think he really understood. He and his brothers were all very close, and he also tried to keep in touch with my sisters and me. It probably didn't occur to him that Connor and I didn't have much of a relationship.

He turned to my sister. "So what's new with you, Jessica? How many guys have you fucked since I last saw you?"

"Robbie!" Jessica whisper-shrieked, pushing at his shoulder. "Keep your voice down! Ma and Dad still think I'm a virgin!"

"Oh, come on," Robbie said, giving Jessica a long look-over, his gaze resting on the deep vee of her sweater where the round curves of her cleavage were on display. "Nobody thinks you're a virgin anymore."

They bickered good-naturedly for the rest of the game, and I smiled to myself. It was good to be with family again.

When Jessica and I got on the plane to go back to school for spring semester, my mother cried. Jessica rolled her eyes, but I gave Ma a tight hug, promising her I would come home for the summer. It wasn't a difficult promise to make. I really missed her and for some reason, I kept thinking that if I was home for the summer, I would be able to see our mysterious, oldest stepbrother again.

Things went by in a whirl when we got back to school. I took a heavier coarse load and Jessica was finishing up her degree in accounting, so we both had tons of studying to do. Soon, May was upon us and we were buckling down hard for final exams. During that whole last month before her graduation, Jessica brought only one or two boys home. I was a little disappointed that I didn't get to enjoy her morning escapades as often, but by then, I had found other things to masturbate to.

Every night, without fail, I would open up the browser window on my phone with all the tabs of my favorite pornographic stories that I had found on the internet, and I'd touch myself while reading until I made myself come. One night, I was so tired from studying that I decided to skip it, but I discovered that I couldn't fall asleep until I'd felt that wonderful pleasure wash over me.

And that's where all of the trouble started.

I was on the phone with my mother for one of our weekly chats when she explained the situation. "So I'm flying in on Thursday and I'll stay through Monday so that we can hang out for a bit after Jessica's graduation ceremony."

"It's called commencement, Ma," I said.

Ignoring me, she continued, "You and Jessica can pick me up from the airport. I know you haven't bought your ticket yet for coming home with me, and I don't want you to anymore. We're taking a road trip back!"

"We're driving back to Nevada? That will take days!"

"Yes, but think of all the money we'll save! And we'll finally get to see Connor again. It's been so long."

I paused, trying to keep up with the roundabout way my mother's mind worked. "Wait, Connor is going to drive us?"

"Oh yes, honey. He actually called last week to see if you needed a ride home. He's doing some seminar thing in Reno, so he's going to be driving over from Chicago. Isn't that wonderful?"

So a few weeks later, on a clear May morning, I stood at our apartment window, anxiously scanning the street for Connor's big, black SUV.

I told myself it was normal to feel a little bit nervous. Of all of my siblings, Connor was the one I knew the least. I was only 6 years old when he had left for college, and the last time I saw him had been several years ago. I vaguely remembered him as being very handsome, with thick, black hair and piercing, blue eyes.

When he drove up to the curb that morning and got out of the driver's seat, I caught my breath. He was even more handsome than I remembered. Taller and more filled out, with broad shoulders, a lean, athletic build, and a confidence that must have grown as he lived on his own in Chicago and moved up the ranks at his engineering firm.

The small living room felt even more crowded when he entered. Ma fawned over him and Jessica gave him a warm hug. Then he turned to me and I blushed when he took a few seconds to look me over.

"So here's little Molly, all grown up," he said before engulfing me in a hug. I wrapped my arms around his middle and breathed him in, an intoxicating scent of pine and musk.

"Hi, Connor," I said when we broke apart, looking up and getting a little lost in the blue of his eyes. I licked my lips and felt my pussy give a pulse. A blush crawled over my face. Was I actually getting aroused from hugging my stepbrother?

The corner of his mouth ticked up as he held my gaze for another few seconds, and then he turned away.

It was strange to feel such an immediate attraction, but when I considered it later, I realized that all of Jessica's boys were just that--boys. Of course, they were over the age of 18, but they were all so young--college students or just barely graduated. Connor, on the other hand, exuded a maturity and manliness that Jessica's boys didn't have.

Connor wanted to get on the road quickly, so things were a whirlwind of carrying bags and suitcases into the SUV and trying to find space for it all among Connor's own belongings.

Luckily, I didn't have too much since I was leaving all of the furniture with Jessica in our little apartment. We had decided that I would just move back in with her in the fall since she would surely still be studying and taking the required exams, so there really wasn't a lot that I needed to bring with me for a summer at home.

When Connor went into our bedroom to grab my last suitcase, he stood there for a minute, taking in the arrangement of our beds in that tiny room.

"Huh," he said, before he hefted the suitcase and walked out to the car.

The drive was fairly uneventful. I sat in the back and Ma talked Connor's ear off, asking him all sorts of questions.

Did he have a girlfriend? No.

Didn't he want to get married someday? Yes.

Was he excited to go back home? A little.

Where was he staying in Reno? Downtown.

It went on like that, with Ma going on for long minutes after each of his monosyllabic answers before asking another question. Sometimes, Connor would catch my eye in the rear-view mirror and give me a wink, which I liked. When the day got brighter and he put his sunglasses on, I was a little disappointed not to see those beautiful, blue eyes anymore.

We stopped at a hotel for the night, and Ma was so tired after dinner at the restaurant next door that she fell into one of the two queen-sized beds and started snoring right away.

"You want to shower first, Molly?" Connor asked as he unzipped his duffel bag.

"No, I want to check my grades first. I'll shower after you."

I got out my laptop and logged into the school website. My grades were posted and I felt a little giddy at being on the Dean's list. Ma would be so proud! Connor was still in the bathroom, so I checked my email and was in the middle of reading a funny message from one of my friends that I didn't realize Connor had come back in the room.

"It's all yours, Molly."

"Oh!" I looked up and wasn't able to stop my jaw from dropping. Connor had his boxers on but no shirt, and his towel was slung around his shoulders. He obviously went to the gym, because he had all kinds of muscles that Jessica's boys didn't have.

He was rummaging in his duffel, but he turned around then and caught me ogling. "You going to shower or what?" His full lips were quirked up in a smile.

"Right! Shower!" I said stupidly before rushing into the bathroom.

By the time I got out, hair still a little damp and in my t-shirt and sleeping shorts, it was quite late. I had been planning on sharing the bed with Ma, but when I approached it, I frowned.

My parents slept in a king-sized bed at home, and I had always thought it was because my stepfather was so tall and burly. But now, as I looked down at my mother star-fished across the whole mattress, snoring loudly, I began to suspect she was the reason for it.

"Just sleep over here with me, Molly," Connor said. He had put on a t-shirt and was sitting up with his back against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him and working on his laptop. There were glasses perched on his nose, and honestly, he looked kind of like Clark Kent, with his white t-shirt stretched across his muscular chest, his biceps on display. My heart gave a thump at seeing him like that.

I stuttered a little, unsure what to do. "Oh, but..."

"Really, it's fine. We're siblings, right? Just get in." He sounded a little impatient as he gestured to the other side of his bed without taking his eyes off the laptop screen, so I quickly scooted around the bed and slid in. I turned my back to him, shut my eyes, and tried to go to sleep.

I couldn't, though. What with my mother's snoring, Connor's light keyboard tapping, and his bedside lamp still casting a soft glow in the room, it was impossible. And of course there was that little business of not having given myself a pre-bedtime orgasm.

Finally, Connor also got under the covers and turned out the light. His breathing turned rhythmic very soon after and I envied him being able to fall asleep so easily in an unknown environment. I cursed myself for not masturbating in the shower when I had the chance.

The night felt very unfamiliar and strange to me. There I was, sharing a bed with a man for the first time, and that man was my stepbrother. And although he was my stepbrother, he also felt like a stranger. A very handsome stranger.

I sighed and turned onto my back, staring at the ceiling. My nipples felt very tight and my pussy was aching and wet. I thought of Pavlov's dogs again, and I realized that I had been conditioning myself for the past several months. I had been trained to need an orgasm every night before going to sleep, and my whole body was humming, begging for release.

Carefully, I turned my head on the pillow and watched Connor in the darkness for several long moments. There was just enough light coming through the partly open drapes of the window to see his strong profile. He continued to breathe in and out slowly and rhythmically, and I even thought I saw his eyelids flutter. Didn't that mean a REM cycle? Wasn't that the deepest cycle of sleep?

Slowly, I slid my hand down into my shorts, beneath the band of my underwear. I was surprised to find myself even wetter than usual. It must have been from spending so much time with Connor that day. I chided myself internally for finding him so physically appealing. We were related, after all. But who could blame me? He was the most attractive man I'd ever met, let alone been so close to for such a long period of time. Going to a women's college didn't exactly open up my social circles to the opposite sex.

I tried not to think about the man beside me as I began to slide my fingers around my wetness. It wasn't easy, with his scent filling my nostrils and the sound of his soft breaths beside me. Instead, I tried to think of Jimmy or Matt or any of the countless other boys that Jessica had fucked this past year. Ever so gently, I found my clit and began to circle it. It was hard to do it with my legs straight, so I slowly bent the leg furthest away from Connor up and to the side to give myself better access. My foot caught in the sheets, rustling and pulling them a little in the process.

I froze, holding my breath and straining my ears to hear anything different from Connor. His breathing remained the same, so I concentrated on strumming my clit and making myself come as fast as possible. I imagined a faceless man licking my pussy--one of my favorite visuals. Somehow, over the next few minutes, my imagination added thick, black hair and penetrating blue eyes, and by the time I realized I was actually picturing my stepbrother eating my pussy, it was too late.

My mouth dropped open and I panted silently as my orgasm built and built and I could feel the familiar tingle. I was just about to fly over the precipice when Connor's hand suddenly snaked out and grabbed my wrist above the band of my shorts.

I gasped, turning my head and finding Connor on his side, very much awake and staring at me. I tried tugging my wrist away, but he held it firm against my belly, my hand trapped in my panties.

"Well, well, well, baby sister," Connor whispered in a barely audible rumble, that small smile quirking his lips. "What are you doing?"

Instead of answering, I shook my head frantically.

"You naughty, little girl. You were touching yourself."

Again, I shook my head.

"Oh yes. And you were about to come, weren't you?"

"Connor--" I whispered before stopping. I really didn't know what to say. My heart was beating so fast in my chest that I thought it might burst out of me and I could feel a hot blush crawl over my cheeks.

"And here I thought you were the good one out of all of us. Dad told me you never tried to sneak out in high school, never even went on a date."

"Connor, please," I begged, tears smarting in my eyes.

He let my wrist go then, and I immediately pulled my hand out of my bottoms and turned away from him on my side, taking a deep breath and squeezing my eyes shut in embarrassment. But instead of leaving me alone, Connor slid across the sheets right up against my back and ass.

When I felt the contact of his hard cock through his boxers against my ass cheeks, I gasped. "Wha--?" I whispered, half-turning back and colliding against his broad chest.

"You've really grown up, Molly," Connor murmured, his hand slithering under my t-shirt and cupping my bare breast.

"Connor, stop it!" I whisper-shrieked, feeling completely embarrassed. I curled back onto my side, my hand coming up over my t-shirt to cover his.

His deft fingers found my nipple and gave it a twist that sent a bolt of heat straight to my pussy, so wet and needy after the denied orgasm. I gasped and my back arched involuntarily, my ass cheeks further cradling the thick shaft of his cock. It felt huge.

"Fuck, Molly. When I saw you this morning, I couldn't believe how beautiful you'd become." His words were a low, dark whisper in my ear as he continued to manipulate my taut nipple. He ground his hips into me and said, "Can you feel how hard you make me?"

I could only moan quietly in response. His hand on my nipple and his words in my ear were making me hotter than I'd ever been before.