All Comments on 'Payback Pt. 02'

All the characters are dumb period

Oh Yeah

I guess stupid pills really work. The idiot cheating cunt must have them all. Why is Pam still alive? I don't know but this was an excellent 2 tales. Way to go.

Five Stars

Not one of your better stories.

The wife was a caricature and there were far too many LW clichés involved.

But still entertaining.

Very good but why did she do it and did she have the mind of a 5 year old? (Sorry to 5 year olds). That is the only gripe I have.

AAA+++

silly

A real hard-a**!

5

GREAT ending to a very good story!!! 5++/5!!

Mhm, nothing special here. Nice revenge tale, but somewhat average..... You did better. 3*

Making Pam as stupid as a sack of hammers was equally stupid. It ruined the whole fucking story.

That was OK.

Why he didn't let justice fall on the bikers the day he was hospitalised had me smh. It would have had less tense moments for him and probably more conversation and admission from Pam.

As much as I enjoyed him raining vengeance down on the dumbass bikers, the wife's behaviour was bizarre. She was acting like everything was fine between her and the husband, even after her lover beat the shit out of the guy.

eh wth it was entertaining

That cheating whore deserved her own hole in the desert.

Is that it???

Always the same with Farmers_Son, the cheating wife always got away easy.

Dumb shit

Without knowing the locale of the story, I'll say that the police and DA's response and charges to an obvious 'self-defense' shooting is probably over the top. You call 911, they hear the commotion, the door is broken down, and you're confronted with three intruders who are armed. So the situation meets all the criteria for the use of deadly force... for self-defense. Just my thought and opinion.

Overall, I like the story. Very good!

Well that ended well. The good guy won the bad guys lost sounds good to me.

great story keep it up

Good story.

Keep up the good work and thank you.

I could not suspend my belief enough for this complete fairy tale. Not the kind of story I am looking for. No emotion, barely any dialogue between real people. Also, we are supposed to have some kind of respect for a sociopath who killed multiple people without batting an eye, and who works for organized crime. And after all that she did, he still has to pay her half? All the bad people he knows couldn't make her agree to the divorce on his terms and leave town, blah

Beyond reasonable, sorry.

Good author, badly constructed tale.

He didn’t roll over and put Steve down for good. Only Pam will even remember the scumbag. Good fun story

Did your friend re-arm you, or ream you? There's a huge difference.

I think the author is mentally retarded person

"Sorry all you Steve's out there but you have to agree with me about striking fear into someone." - As a "Steve" I take no offense. I wouldn't mind being able to call myself "Grizzly!"

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"You stupid fuck, she belongs to me now." - HE'S stupid? You've got his wife, why bring trouble by beating him up?

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"They took me to the station and booked me on manslaughter, use of a firearm in the city limits, and aggravated assault." - I understand that they have to investigate even obvious cases of self-defense, but actually booking him?

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Why the cliche of "friends in low places?" He seems to have a firm handle on things.

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Kind of a weak ending.

What utter rubbish!!!

Holy shit! This went way off the rails! Sounded like a teenage boy's fantasy.

Why would the bikers not shoot back if they had guns also? Whats with all these stories about accountants? I believe there was five or more stories this week about accountants. The all turned into Ben Affleck from the movie "The Accountant"

Jesus, if this is new, I don’t want to read your older material. You can’t write for shit, so quit while you’re ahead.

Not giving any decent payback to the slut that started this entire mess brought your stars from a 5 to a 3. WTF????

Gave you a 5 for finishing the story. Having 'friends in low places' helped him out but also sort of explained how he married such a dumb ass slut. (Looked great but no morals) He managed to get educated but never really changed his attitude on life.

just fizzled out and why did pam get away with so much? No investigation to see if she was part of the attack or revenge?

Also Steve (grizzly) went from maybe never walking again to the state of knocking down a door and ready for hand to hand fight very fast.

This was a good story, damn the nice guy shit

Liked It. Be prepared for a few of our more sheltered commenters to whine about your friends in low places since they don't seem to have any in their small world.

Really….not all that good. Pam was portrayed as beyond stupid. The fact that the author declined to give his MC a final confrontation with her really deprived readers of ANY insight into her actual character and motivation. So she remained just a stupid cardboard character.

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The MC’s dealings with the cops really made it all worse. Not telling them the truth about what happened when he got beat up told the bikers that they had free rein to extract private retribution. Yeah….going this direction allowed him to wield the “Judge” — and yeah, he got away with it and put down rabid dog Grizzly.

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At the end of the day, this story was bereft of any emotional “loving wives” onflict. Cardboard stupid wife. Cowboy MC. Lots of illogical action.

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Come to think of it….cookie cutter stuff…and you burned the cookies.

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Very very average…at best. 3 ***

I was on the fence between 4 or 5, but decided to give you the nod for a 5* given the overall work. Missing was how their marriage got to that point or how she met the bikers. I can fill in the blanks, especially since I own d grocery story for several years, but having it spelled out would have helped.

Your ending seemed like you got tired of writing and just flushed it with the quickest end possible.

He uses a .410 shotgun, while spouting "no more mister nice guy"???? Why not a BB gun instead, for really delivering the hurt. Laughable. Or maybe written by someone who knows literally nothing about firearms, relationships, or life yet. Try again when you get out of Elementary school.

Good Read! 5*

So if he owned the house, then why give the bitch 50% of the sale proceeds? Need to do your home work, not required, not community property.

Fantasy island , not the real world. How do you fall for and marry such a dumber than dumb slut. And after the boyfriend and killing him. Why would this writer let the slut get half of his savings. If he had those bad guys to take care of her. This just doesn’t compute.

so, why was the wife so delusional? Why were bikers after him if she was being divorced and the husband said he doesn't want her?

Boilerplate, 2

Is it actually possible for a person to be that stupid and still be able to wipe their own ass?

Don't like stories where people get killed. Period.

I don't think I should have liked that story as much as I did. Too many breaks fell his way, but sometimes we just need a good, violent story to set the day right. Thanks for sharing.

Fantasia! Or bullshit. Don't quit your day job.

Nothing exceptional to this story, almost cookie-cutter LW. Still a good entertaining read but predictable. All the time he had dirty fingernails as to accounting/business - but he did not deserve Pam's crap. Actually Pam got off too easy for what she put him through. She sure loved her stupid pills.

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3.6*, Hooyah...

really, have you ever handled and or fired a judge at any thing other than small defenseless varmitts.

WOW anti-cuck story. But what's the point?

Like Pam the story was stupid.

good ending though not without protagonist flaws, no nitpicking here

What kind of loving wife story was this? Looking at the categories I'd say there is no place for this crap. Macho man with all his contacts for killing is just a piece of garbage. Why would you bother including a small and of no value piece about replacing a biker bar with a lesbian bar. Real class on your part.

Sorry, was this a pre-pubescent boy's fantasy (who is not old enough to be reading here on Lit) or an attempt at satire by throwing every cliché in on a single story?

Page 1

Clearly didn't happen in Texas unless it was in a Democrat controlled city.

Well that was fun. Good thing the whole gang didn't charge in the door with him holding a five shot revolver.

The way things 'should' be is that if he were attacked and suffered any injury while he was defenseless, what with his guns being confiscated, the DA and anyone else who set the "secure the weapons but not protect the citizen" policy would be liable as an accessory up to including some form of manslaughter for knowingly rendering him defenseless in spite of knowing of credible threats to him. The only cure for stupid intrusive laws is to make those who set and enforce them liable for the consequences.

As for the story, yeah it was a bit over the top and maybe Pam is just a little too stupid, but if this were a "Punisher" movie it would do well so switcher bitchin.

Another Great Masterpiece

Good escapism. Enjoyed it. Four stars

FS goes all Saddletramp to win one for the good guy. Over the top fantasy ride.

Super over-the-top and super fun! 5 Stars.

@sbrooks103x

"Sorry all you Steve's out there but you have to agree with me about striking fear into someone." - As a "Steve" I take no offense. I wouldn't mind being able to call myself "Grizzly!"

Go ahead you think you are anyway.

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"You stupid fuck, she belongs to me now." - HE'S stupid? You've got his wife, why bring trouble by beating him up?

He was showing for his new girl and she told him not to let him go.

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"They took me to the station and booked me on manslaughter, use of a firearm in the city limits, and aggravated assault." - I understand that they have to investigate even obvious cases of self-defense, but actually booking him?

It wasn't that obvious, they had weapons, but still in their belts, not in their hands. His had obviously been used.

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Why the cliche of "friends in low places?" He seems to have a firm handle on things.

It is always to have back up!

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Kind of a weak ending.

Kind of like your comments

i admire the style of your writing which drew me into the story. as with all stories there are place that the teller wishes to go you handled with subtlety that allowed the story to flow. well done. thank you

Still just the same over the top completely fucking brain dead, too stupid to breathe wife, like 99% of those written here.

That much stupidity really ruins a story, as it did here. Might have been good, but c'mon, literally no one could read this and not see how excessively dumb you made her. Easier than writing a rational woman (to some degree) I guess.

Over the top, but a fun BTB

3/5

Right turn Clyde.

I love these stories!

Great plot, great story, way over the top, but your story, your universe, your fantasy!

It's a story, pipples. That's a 70s expression.

Speaking of stupid pills, how many did you take before writing this?

disappointed. more in the how and why. what changed in the wife after 5 years of marriage? You can't say stupid pills. Was she always a whore and he just now noticed it? Maybe I missed that part somewhere, where she decided to hook up with those guys. simply saying 6-8 weeks ago doesn't do this story justice.

Not one of the better ones but a solid 3

JJ

I wanted to buy a "Judge", but they are illegal in California😠" Summoveabitch"

Finished the only way it could have. Bikers must have been pretty tough to take .410 slugs center mass and live. Good Farmers_Son story.

Well, that was... something. Martian Slut Ray at its finest, and comic-book action in which our hero outfights and outwits a whole motorcycle gang. Quite good, if you like that sort of thing.

What a fuck up! The Judge holds 5, (count'em, five) .410 shotgun rounds, and can shoot triple aught (000) buck shot. Each shell holds five .36 caliber lead balls. He was less than 10 feet away from his assailants, and there were only three of them. Why would he take chest shots at that range when a head shot is just as easy, and no worries about body armor? And why use single projectile slugs when each shot could have launched 5 .36 caliber bullets? All he did was create two crippled guys who will be suing him in civil court for excessive use of force and anything else their dirt bag attorney can think of. He wasn't as savvy as you tried to portray him.

But what was really stupid was befriending, falling in love, then marrying a woman as stupid, immoral, cruel, and brainless as Pam. How the fuck did he spend so much time dating, discussing, interacting, and otherwise analyzing this crazy whore and not discern what a worthless piece of vagina she was? He got what he married, so he deserved all the shit she dumped on him. Glad he was able to empty the garbage once it began to stink.

Not a bad story, but it was really weak with the way Pam kept being dumber and dumber. Who's to blame when a man marries a dumb shit?

Thanks for the effort.

Humorous but I'm guessing not intended to be?

*****You do know Steve had a brother right!!!!!! Thanks for a very entertaining read.

Finally, an author who knows how to end a story about a man who keeps his self respect! 5 stars! Please write more!

Wrong category, so 1*

1 star - this is just a really bad idea and should not be in the Loving Wives category, or anywhere else on this website.

React to a beating and threats of bodily harm 5 stars.

A contrived plot and robotic characters provide a bare-bones framework to celebrate violence. This sad submission has NOTHING to do with erotic literature. What's happened to you, Farmers_Son?

He was arrested for defending himself? 911 was engaged and they could hear the bad guy pounding on the door, shouting threats, and he was still arrested for defending himself? All the bad guys were found to be carrying multiple weapons and the door was bashed open. Are you sure this story happened in the USA and not England?

Sorry, but just way too many incongruities to make it even remotely plausible. I'm betting you don't know anything about guns except what you see in the movies, otherwise, why carry this "Judge" thing when you could have chosen something simple and common like a model 1911?

Just a bit too silly for me.

Liked the main character. and his using his truck to get rid of AssH_les and the Judge to finish the job.

Great MC. He didn't have to pay her half though...

A little OTT

Great story... Was an enjoyable read... 5 Stars... Added to favs...

Very over the top but in a good way. Enjoyable and some pretty good action. The wife sounded mentally deficient or drugged up. Also like the Taurus Judge having a starring role, very nifty gun. 5 stars.

Why did she become the bikers slut?

This was never addressed and apart from the story being over the top left a big hole in the story. What had he done that she wanted his head stomped by the bikers?

only problem I have is, why didn't his friends just make the slut disappear. They can threaten a biker gang but can't get rid of one useless slut?

A very generous 2*. Let's see. Either written after many hours of GTA and several nights of watching "B" biker movies. Or written by a 14 year old. Much the same thing.

Enough plot holes to drive a fleet of Kenworths through. Pathetic overall.

Good, Good. LP

Nothing like a good action story and cheating wife that takes stupid pills. Kudos to the author and the editors. 5 stars

"They took me to the station and booked me on manslaughter, use of a firearm in the city limits, and aggravated assault." Where does this take place? Obama/Soros Land? Under the circumstances described, this would never come close to happening. It was clearly a home invasion by bikers, and there was plenty of supporting evidence for their intent. The sudden descent into idiocy destroyed the story.

Good story

Glad this did not happen in California . California is the worst state to get Divorced in . But then again her lawyer was much better then mine . She even gave Shithead My fishing ole and he hid it from the cops . Not that they looked hard for it as his family had lots of money

Would have been perfect if Steve's boys were told to fuck up the ex really good and all would be fogotten.

Just silly, but written in a good way

Nice read.

Ed

knock that cheating cunt's teeth down her COCK SUCKING gulet

Farmer must really hate women. Nothing else explains why all the wives in his stories are complete and utter retards.

Should have knocked Pam's teeth down her dirty cock sucking throat!!!! what a dirtball no shit! lol