All Comments on 'Paying the Debts'

You still need a proofreader.

"As Carol and April collapsed, Susie breathed a sigh of relief and looked at Claire who didn't quite understand what that meant and looked at her friends."

Carol was not at that location. You meant Mary.

I liked it but it felt incomplete. Sort of like the introduction to a longer story instead of one with a purpose of its own.

Need another chapter describing the next chapter of her life.