Pen Pals Ch. 03

As I watched him sleeping, I felt a wave of love for him. Love, is that what this was? My feelings for him had been complicated even before we met. I knew I had been in danger of falling for him just through our emails, but after that first night in St Louis, I think I knew then there was no going back. I looked at his handsome face with his grey goatee and knew it was. I loved him, but did he feel the same? We talked about our feelings a lot in our emails and how we thought we would feel, but never in person since we have met. How had I let myself fall for him? I had vowed I would never put myself in a position where I could get hurt again and isn't that what was going to happen? He was going to go back to the States, and I would be left here heartbroken. I was sure he felt the same way, I just knew he did, but would it just make things harder by telling him? Would he want to come and live here or even be able to? I knew I would up sticks in a flash and move to America to be with him if he wanted me to, but I had Alice and my foster children to think about. I might be able to do that in 2 or 3 years' time, but could we wait that long? I didn't want to wait that long. I knew this needed to be a conversation I had with John, but how could I while he was still recovering?

All these thoughts whizzing around my brain were making me tired, so I put my unread book on the bedside table and snuggled into John. He was lying on his left side facing away from me, so I spooned into the back of him and put my arm around him. He responded in his sleep by moving closer and I soon fell asleep.

When I woke up, John was already awake watching me. He kissed me and told me to swap places on the bed. Puzzled, I did as he asked and we lay facing each other with John again on his left side so his right arm was free. As with lay pressed up against each other, I could feel John's morning erection. I ran my hands softly all over his body, pulling him close as I did so. I wriggled into a better position and moved my leg so it was across John's leg being careful that it wasn't putting any pressure on his wound. John's cock was now lined up with my pussy and very gently he pushed it between my wet lips. Slowly and steady he entered me and I moved my leg to help him get in a deeply as he could. Holding each other tightly and staring into each other eyes, we slowly rocked backwards and forwards, very small movements that gradually increased in momentum. It was the most erotic moment ever and it wasn't long before I could feel that initial tingle of an orgasm, which built up to waves and lust radiating outwards.

"Oh that's good, that's good, oh oh I'm cumming" I gasped, gripping onto John tightly as the waves reached their peak and slowly faded away. Simultaneously John gave a loud groan as he joined me in my climax.

"Oh that was the most intense orgasm I've had for a long time" I said in wonder. I knew however, it was partly due to my realisation of my feelings for John. That wasn't just lust, that was love. I should have told him then, it was the right moment, but I held back. That was my problem, I often said things in haste and messed things up. I was going to get this right.

"What would you like to do today" I asked John after we had cuddled up together for a while. "I'm assuming you're not up to walking very far. I wondered if you fancied popping round to see Stella at the B and B for a coffee. She will no doubt be worrying about you after seeing the newspaper article about your accident".

"That would be good, I'd like to see her again".

After a quick breakfast of toast and marmalade and a cup of tea, we got ready and walked the short distance to the guest house. As I thought, Stella was overjoyed to see John and gave him a big hug and kissed his check. She settled us into her lovely garden and went in to get a tray with coffee and some slices of delicious looking cake. She asked about the accident and how John was doing and we told her all she wanted to know.

"So is this going to stop this silly nonsense about you going back to America now?" she asked.

We both must have looked puzzled as she continued "Well, I have never seen two people so in love and I can't for the life of me work out why you aren't making plans to stay together somehow".

There was an awkward silence and I felt myself blush as Stella realised her mistake.

"Oh my" she exclaimed "you haven't told each other, have you?"

John reached for my hand and said "it's a conversation that is overdue I think but thank you Stella for the encouragement. It's what I needed."

He leaned over to me and kissing me on my lips, whispered "later".

I felt goosebumps cover my arms and could feel butterflies in my tummy. We were going to have that chat after all. Does John feel the same way as I do?

I could hear Stella talking again and tuned back into her. She was asking about how we met and with pleasure we told her the story. She was thrilled by the romance and asked if we were getting along in person as well as we did in emails.

"Better" I said. "Our email chats were amazing and we learnt so much about each other, but the problem with emails, is that you can miss the subtle meanings to what is being typed. With no eye contact or the body language sometimes things can be misunderstood. On more than one occasion, we got things wrong and upset the other one."

"There was one time, when we nearly ended our relationship over a misunderstanding" said John with a wry smile. "I said something Sandra took the wrong way and she replied in a way that made me misunderstand her meaning. I thought she wanted us to stop corresponding, but in fact, what she was trying to say, was she was worried that I wanted to stop".

"It was a bit like Chinese Whispers going around in a circle, but I hadn't stupidly told him we were just pen pals, when clearly it was far more than that" I added. "Are you sure you want to talk about this?" I asked John.

"Yes, it's an important part of how we got here today. I got upset and cross and with a knee jerk reaction, I sent Sandra a message telling her that as she obviously wanted to end our emails, I would save her the hassle and do it for her. I then deleted the email app that I used to our messages."

"Oh my word" said Stella "you must have been upset" she pointed to me.

"I was gutted". I confirmed. "I was upset and didn't know what to do. I then got angry that he had reacted without giving me a chance to put things right. I only had his email address and he told me he was deactivating it"

John was looking a bit sheepish at this point and told Stella "luckily I didn't deactivate the account. I just signed out and refused to log back in."

"But you are back together now, so something must have worked."

"I refused to give up on us" I said "I knew what we had found was special and I email John dozens of times. I told him I was sorry, I pleaded with him to contact me and I got mad with him. But still nothing. I knew if he felt the way he had told me he did, then at some point he would log in and check those messages. I needed him to know that no matter what, I cared about him and I was thinking about him and I wasn't giving up on us. Looking back, I probably looked like a stalker, but I needed him to know."

"After about a day and a half, I couldn't resist it. I had to see if Sandra had replied to my email despite me telling her not to. There were more than a dozen messages from her and after reading them all, I knew I had to reply. I hadn't expected her to be so upset. I was the hardest email I have ever sent and I must have written about 20 drafts before I hit send."

"I had almost got to the point where I had given up and I was going to delete my email account. Seeing the inbox empty was torture. I missed him so much. How can you miss someone you've never met? It's crazy".

"We got there in the end, I took a several days to get back to where we had been, but things go better after that. No more misunderstandings" said John.

We finished our coffee and cake and said goodbye to Stella. We promised to visit again before John's flight, but Stella just laughed as she sent us on our way.

As we stood in the lounge back at my house, facing each other, we both "who wants to start?"