All Comments on 'Penal Slavery Pt. 06'

Thanks for the introduction to the chapter it really did save me a lot of time on whether or not to read your story.

“ set in a near future alternate world where incest is legal and criminals are sentenced to terms of slavery rather than jail or prison per se. Because this is Literotica, there is a lot of sex. No rape or violence, reluctance at worst.”

It’s beyond ridiculous that Incest would be legal, it’s proven fact that breeding between close biological relatives will produce deformities in resulting children. It’s also incredibly hypocritical to pronounce incest is ok but “sluts and slaves have cunts”. How is a slut defined in this world, someone (woman going by your statement) who won’t fuck her parents, grandparents, siblings or children? Even by fantasy standards this is fucked up.

Again, your writing (I read ch1) is great, structurally sound, it’s plausible with plenty of background information aside from the incest thing which is illogical - why would Mark (? Male twin) complain about incest if it’s not a big deal? The characters are pretty believable too. Overall sound writing, shame about the “plot”.

Tess (UK)

See my response to your post at Chapter 1 to answer your questions. I do feel compelled to point out that the with all due respect you seem to be practicing the "skim till offended" review technique. Bear in mind that this is a serial novel. Actually read every chapter and then get back to me.

I've enjoyed your story. I do find the name change of our three travelers a little confusing. I do understand the reason for the name change but I wouldn't do it again.

This is a well written enjoyable story. However I would add a few critiques

This is rated as a nonconsensual story. While the setting is slavery, which is the very definition of nonconsensual, if every character loves every single aspect of the new life and is having the greatest sex ever or, in the case of poseidon, activities such as his earlier dislike of male sex turns into appreciation of what the experience has given them. What is exactly nonconsensual? I just feel there should be at least some activities they may not like if anything else to build a scene around the slave's training for example when Poseidon was having mandatory bi training or his sudden acceptance of sex with his sister to be too short and simple.

Second I would say there is not as much bondage as I was expecting from a story devoted to penal slavery. Every slave wears wrist and ankle cuffs yet hardly anyone is ever bound. It seems like its the same group sex scene(lick, suck, fuck) every time.

There seems to be no orgasm denial, forced orgasms, post orgasm punishment, the use of dungeon equipment, public humiliation or any other settings. You do use coffles very effectively which is an element I enjoy.

Third I feel the slaves have way too much freedom in having sex with each other. I know this setting is more resort than prison but slaves in my opinion should have to work for orgasms and should be a little bit needier. I could see ideas such as Nympho in a chastity belt with random vibrators or Castor and Pollux in cock cages sharing there room with sweetlips just to pick the low hanging fruit. I understand that chastity is a punishment for bad performance but they are slaves stripped by the state of their rights. Why do they have such wide freedom in that regard? I would also say that so far there has been no punishments of slaves. If it does every come up what about collective punishments for room not just the individual slaves?

Last it just seems a lot of state employees are always having sex on the clock how does this not effect job performance is remarkable.

That said I do feel you have done a very good job and do look forward to future chapters.

This story keeps getting better with each installment. I can't wait to read how Red, Nympho, Poseidon, and the others will interact together and with the other penal slaves.

I’ve thoroughly enjoyed all the stories in this universe and am very much looking forward to more from this universe.

"Anon/Good story: there are indeed things that the slaves dislike. I mention the lashes at first, the somewhat too big cock for Brooke and the foul tasting pussy. I see also orgasm denial, albeit short term.

I agree with your conclusion: very good story and I am so looking forward to the next chapter!

Excellent continuation. Hopefully there will more coming soon.

Great story, too bad you didn't finish it!

Xavier XX Part 7 is mostly done. Should be out soon

Too good to be true but a good read.

Hope to see part 7 and any more before too long. I know times have been tough and this is most likely a hobby but I do hate to read uncompleted stories.

Ravey19 ,

Yeah, I had some mainstream writing commitments that came up, along with a promotion at the day job. I am working on it.

This just keeps getting better and better

Really great characterizations.

Looking forward to part 7, but I'll get into some of the other series.

I hope your new job and other elements of life are going well.

Looking forward to last page of part 6 and at least part 7 (or more). Excellent storyline, very well written and developed

A great story